All time low.

I've been trying to fix my pride but that shit's broken.

[shock]

and now we return to...................................

………………… the regularly scheduled

him

[theonion]

Report: Imagine How Good It Would Feel To Just Crawl Back Into Bed Right Now

[fortitsngiggles]

Unless you hit me in the face with a brick that says “I’m flirting with you,” I’m most likely just gonna think you’re being nice.

[vampjokes]

How can someone who designs software be bad at math? Easy, just repeat every single step you take for 350 years of your life because you put the wrong number in everything!

[bpdritsu]

me: (googling) snake bite leg what to do

google: elevate and apply pressure

me: (lifting snake real high) apologize or else

[loudkittencreator]

The sun’s sea

goes real deep

patreon

[vampjokes]

But can anyone explain why I’m breaking out in hives?

[vampjokes]

This is the first time since having this blog, approximately 5 years, that I’ve changed my icon.

[vampjokes]

Horses are really just giant dogs.

[vampjokes]

People be getting heated about horses today.

[vampjokes]

As if I, Die Vampjokes, would ever

[vampjokes]

Pizza isn’t the hero we deserve, but fuck if he isn’t the hero we need.

[vampjokes]

That just reminded me of this, which is, to this day, one of my favourite conversations in existence.

[babylizard-blog]

[marchbehindthesea-deactivated20]

[tittletattles]

ARE THERE INFINITELY MANY WHAT

math was a goddamn mistake id like to sit down and have a serious talk with every mathematician ever they knew perfectly well the nature of their crimes

[felinoma]