When we struggle to let go of past trauma and pain, know that it’s more comfortable to hold on. You’re scared of potential new pain or trauma, and so you’re just protecting yourself. Even deeper, you’re scared of letting go of the version of yourself that you built during survival. For some people, that version of themselves is all they know. You built an acceptable version of yourself that not only survived but kept the peace. You don’t know who you are outside of that, and you think the "survival you" is the only dependable person in your life. Of course you don’t want to lose “survival you.”
It’s addicting to stay in chaos or chase it. When you first get to a more peaceful environment, your body doesn’t recognize safety yet—it feels bored or out of place. Even feels too good to be true. You don’t quite fit into your new peaceful environment. Safety is unfamiliar and takes time to get adjusted to. Even if your mind registers peace, your body is still fighting and won’t stop fighting until you retrain your nervous system. I’ve spent years rewiring my mind before I ever could start to retrain my nervous system… healing takes time!!!
You will have an identity crisis as you come out of survival, because who are you when you’re not masking and wearing your survival shield? That’s why you have to go on your self-discovery journey and get spiritual. Reconnect with yourself. Most therapists tell you to be in nature and go barefoot outside. I didn’t do that. I have reconnected to me through meditation and prayer. Through writing music and childish hobbies. Lately, I’ve been watching all the old Disney movies I watched as a kid, plus I have gotten brave and watched some newer Disney ones too (newer to me). You can’t shame or rush yourself. Plus, you HAVE to be gentle and talk so kindly to yourself.
The world is often a cold and “dog-eat-dog” world. Not everyone understands being gentle towards trauma survivors. That’s why you have to treat yourself better. Don’t solely depend on others to heal you. You’re not alone, though. God sees you and others do too!! I feel only survivors understand you because they too have survived. Pray for each other and be patient with yourself. Your body needs time to catch up with you, but it will catch up.
When your body tenses up to prepare you for “potential danger,” you have to lay your hand on your stomach and convince yourself, “I’m safe.” That’s retraining your nervous system! I’ve learned to say to my body, “Thank you for protecting me all those years, but we’re okay. You don’t have to protect me right now.” When your nervous system tries to freeze and protect you, you start to feel paralysis creep in, but breathe through it. Do your grounding techniques. The other day, I grabbed onto my stove door handle in the kitchen and just felt it. I told myself, “See? I can feel stuff. I’m in reality.”
Healing IS possible, but work through it. Roll up your sleeves and don’t stop going forward. Lastly, when you can’t ground yourself or feel yourself losing the battle, remember a bad day doesn’t cancel out your progress. You just try again the next day. Live your life one day at a time!!! 💫
5-31-26 at 5:41 p.m. - 32 33 49 -
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