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Peter Solarz
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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@vanderace
keep the archive going
3 posts in a day?!
damn!
lolbit frickbears lolbit frickbears!!
oc slopppppp
their name is unnamed sparklecat
and she uses any pronouns
please be nice to him
I feel like . A lot of Being Autistic is giving people way too much benefit of the doubt cause you're trying not to have a social anxiety paranoia doom spiral but sometimes they really and truly just are treating you like that & you have to be the crazy one & be like I know you're fucking lying to me
Like oh yeah no it's not that I didn't notice. I've just been ignoring it. Yknow. Which somehow feels worse and stupider than if I really didn't know any better
I used to work with a woman who was extremely nasty-mean to me for absolutely no reason at all. She was generally unpleasant to everyone, but it was obvious to me (and to another coworker) that she had something very pointed against me in particular and made it no secret. It got so bad that I made several official complaints, and my supervisor said, "that's just how she talks to everyone. She's super blunt, but she doesn't mean it! Maybe you're just misunderstanding her tone because you're Autistic?"
Later during my 6-month employee review, the same supervisor said, "sometimes when you correct people, you can come on a little too strong and intimidate or offend people."
We went over the specific instances he was referring to, and I said, "I don't think I was unfair or too harsh in any of those situations. I think I was just straightforward for clarity."
He said, "maybe you don't realize your tone is too harsh because you're Autistic?"
So there it is.
If someone's very obviously singling you out to be outright cruel and unfair, you must give them the benefit of the doubt, because you're Autistic and cannot understand.
If you're being straightforward and normal, but someone thinks you're being unfair, you do not get the benefit of the doubt, because you're Autistic and cannot understand.
And when you point this out to allistic people, either they don't believe you, do not care, or do not try to understand.
Happy Pride Month !!
btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here
"your life is yours to mold" oh nooooooooo oh no oh my god. oh fuck me. no. oh my god. oh im so fucked dude.
When we struggle to let go of past trauma and pain, know that it’s more comfortable to hold on. You’re scared of potential new pain or trauma, and so you’re just protecting yourself. Even deeper, you’re scared of letting go of the version of yourself that you built during survival. For some people, that version of themselves is all they know. You built an acceptable version of yourself that not only survived but kept the peace. You don’t know who you are outside of that, and you think the "survival you" is the only dependable person in your life. Of course you don’t want to lose “survival you.”
It’s addicting to stay in chaos or chase it. When you first get to a more peaceful environment, your body doesn’t recognize safety yet—it feels bored or out of place. Even feels too good to be true. You don’t quite fit into your new peaceful environment. Safety is unfamiliar and takes time to get adjusted to. Even if your mind registers peace, your body is still fighting and won’t stop fighting until you retrain your nervous system. I’ve spent years rewiring my mind before I ever could start to retrain my nervous system… healing takes time!!!
You will have an identity crisis as you come out of survival, because who are you when you’re not masking and wearing your survival shield? That’s why you have to go on your self-discovery journey and get spiritual. Reconnect with yourself. Most therapists tell you to be in nature and go barefoot outside. I didn’t do that. I have reconnected to me through meditation and prayer. Through writing music and childish hobbies. Lately, I’ve been watching all the old Disney movies I watched as a kid, plus I have gotten brave and watched some newer Disney ones too (newer to me). You can’t shame or rush yourself. Plus, you HAVE to be gentle and talk so kindly to yourself.
The world is often a cold and “dog-eat-dog” world. Not everyone understands being gentle towards trauma survivors. That’s why you have to treat yourself better. Don’t solely depend on others to heal you. You’re not alone, though. God sees you and others do too!! I feel only survivors understand you because they too have survived. Pray for each other and be patient with yourself. Your body needs time to catch up with you, but it will catch up.
When your body tenses up to prepare you for “potential danger,” you have to lay your hand on your stomach and convince yourself, “I’m safe.” That’s retraining your nervous system! I’ve learned to say to my body, “Thank you for protecting me all those years, but we’re okay. You don’t have to protect me right now.” When your nervous system tries to freeze and protect you, you start to feel paralysis creep in, but breathe through it. Do your grounding techniques. The other day, I grabbed onto my stove door handle in the kitchen and just felt it. I told myself, “See? I can feel stuff. I’m in reality.”
Healing IS possible, but work through it. Roll up your sleeves and don’t stop going forward. Lastly, when you can’t ground yourself or feel yourself losing the battle, remember a bad day doesn’t cancel out your progress. You just try again the next day. Live your life one day at a time!!! 💫
5-31-26 at 5:41 p.m. - 32 33 49 -
The dream.
Sometimes I dream about being adopted by a group of extroverts so don't have to speak or do much and can simply exist while still having friends and people who care about me....Wouldn't that be nice.
Has anyone seen the giraffe lamp at ikea
Hes allowed on the table
Were watching sumo together
Here imea giraffe lamp, it's your turn on the donkey kong
And when you pick him up off your squishy carpet:
Is that a crocheted springtail??!!
oh i know that lamp. theres a little mimic toy chest that goes with it
yaouch! that hurts me when you hit me until I'm blood
Coloring practice with Frickbears Lolbit :)
put my cat on the cover of CRIME Magazine, where he belongs
if you think for one second that i’m exaggerating for effect
do not trust him
fucked that you can’t fix other people especially when you really care about them. Oh so im just supposed to be there for you while you suffer. like a useless cunt gargoyle
minecraft isnt a horror game huh? then explain why my ass has been slapped by several berry bushes while on peaceful?
what the fuck was i on last night
Peaceful, apparently
you've met me at a very "yeah i'm trying to work on that" time in my life
Maybe you're the one that’s finally gonna burn it down