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@vasarablog
WEEKLY POEM
CROSSROADS
Pause at crossroads
Give some thought
Ponder on " if"s and "but"s
whether or not you should
Weigh the consequences
as Iit decides one"s fate
Turning points in life
builds or changes your future
Crossroads should take you across
and nott leave you in the lurch.....
WEEKLY POEM
LOOKING BACK
On looking back at the trodden path
There"s a rosy and a thorny one
Let the thorny be interred
the rosy though trodden was a unique one
made a difference in the lives of many
A yearning in mind to tread that path again....
WEEKLY POEM
THOUGHTS
Such might , power , intensity
packed in a moment
Will it culminate in a mind blowing invention ,
self torture , murder or anything heinous
It can gather momentum
as a storm and cause ravage
build or mar relationships
At other times a soothing calmness
that embraces infinity
Can"t a fleeting thought lead to thoughtless actions ?
WEEKLY POEM
SMILE
The smile that flickers on a baby"s lips
Asleep or awake
So pure from the wells of innocence
Free of malice
of the cares of mundane life
Methinks such smile
pure , divine
Others clouded......
WEEKLY POEM
HEALING
A touch
An unspoken word
An embrace
A hug , empathy
A helping hand
A caring mind
All these heal
Let"s heal one another...
WEEKLY POEMS
DEAD LEAVES
The mother tree summoned it's offsprings and said
"Be man's breath , food , fodder, shade
create and sustain life
you have no life only decay
Stay and be one with the earth
You are eternal and not dead "
A Shattered Dream
Am I in the midst of a crowd ?
Noisy ,boisterous and cold
Myself a log of wood , a cadaver
total memory loss
Amnesia.... medical term , my profession......
Did I fail ?
Recollect a stab on my chest
and a monster's face
Who was it ?
Memories fading, tried to dress the wound
the first lesson in my course
A lost dream
The nameplate on my gate , my earnest study
long , long hours and what seemed like eternity
sleepless nights ,missed my parents
Vague thoughts ...sinking to an abyss
Oh God ! Save me !
How I yearn to be a Doc !!!!!!!
Surbiton Blooms - Scarlet Cordia
Tropical wonder tree Scarlet Cordia you are ! Cordial and evergreen , balm to the sick and lean You amaze the mean with your scarlet gene.
Surbiton Blooms - Chrysanthemum
Third visit to London…. resplendent with flora and fauna. Last visit was in winter when I missed my fav blooms. This time of the year London is stunningly beautiful with flowers of all hues and shades. Thought of sending you a bunch of each that I came across with a little poem.
Why so mum Chrysanthemum You silently hum a tune with your dashing hues creating a pageant.
-- Chandralekha
Picturesque scene!!!
If I were an artist I would love to paint this scene on a canvas. It was a day in Obstetrics OT during my PG days. I was on my duty, when suddenly I got a call for an emergency caesarean section.This is like an alarm call when everybody is expected to be on their toes ( surgeons,anaesthetists, pediatricians and the nursing staff). This lady was wheeled into the theater within 5 minutes of getting the call. We, as anaesthetists, hardly get time to prep the patient / bystanders. The indication for emergency section was fetal distress. We had time for a quick spinal as per the surgeons. The very word "quick spinal /single shot spinal" itself creates a lot of tension amongst us. The patient was already very anxious ,her heart was beating fast. She was soon positioned and draped and luckily I could get away with a quick spinal. In the meanwhile, surgeons were all ready to put the incision. Staff nurses, technicians were all busy doing their duties diligently. Pediatricians had also arrived and they also gloved up, ready to receive the baby. Surgeons proceeded and finally when they were about to extract the baby, they found the baby's lie to be abnormal and they had a difficult time trying to take him/her out. Often a screen is kept separating the mother, so that she doesn't see the surgical field and get anxious. As anaesthetists, our primary concern being the mother, we stand with her, behind the screen trying to give emotional support. Whereas at the other end, I find the pediatrician all anxiously waiting for the baby. The more the delay, the more the danger for the baby. In between I find the surgeons sweating and trying with all their efforts to extract the baby and minimize the problems to both mother and baby. Surgeons were still struggling while the mother's heart rate was increasing ans she was becoming nauseous. We were trying our best to keep her comfortable and stable. Pediatricians started getting things ready for intubation and ventilation of the baby. They were anticipating a crisis. There was too much tension in the room. From all sides, all our eyes were focused on the surgery and the baby's birth. Finally to our happiness, the baby was delivered and we heard a shrill cry. That moment when you see the smile on all the faces, you could never be more happier! But no one forgot to do their duties. As an anaesthetist ,I was supposed to give drug for contracting the mother's uterus, pacify her and give her analgesic/sedative. Surgeons proceeded with removal of placenta and achieval of hemostasis. The pediatrician was all busy, pampering and nursing the 'much awaited baby'. This was just one day in the life of an anesthetist. We have many such days, some days when we feel so happy and excited, some days so shattered, somedays so dull and monotonous and it's all in the game. Such adrenaline rushes keep an anesthetist live!!
കാത്തിരിപ്പ് - രാധിക ആർ.
കാത്തിരുന്നു ഞാൻ എൻ്റെ കൊച്ചു മകൾ വരാനായി. അവസാനമായി വിശേഷങ്ങൾ ആരാഞ്ഞും,കഥകൾ പറഞ്ഞും അടുത്തിരിക്കാൻ. ആദ്യമായി കൈപിടിച്ച് നടത്തിയ കാലം ഞാനോർത്തു . പിച്ചവെച്ചു നടക്കാൻ അവൾക്ക് ഇഷ്ടമായിരുന്നു . പെട്ടെന്ന് നടക്കാനും, ഓടാനും, വലിയ ആളാവാനും അവൾക്ക് തിടുക്കമായിരുന്നു. കൈപിടിച്ച് സ്കൂളിൽ വിടുന്നതും പിന്നീട് വൈകുന്നേരം സ്കൂൾ കഴിഞ്ഞ് ബെൽ അടിക്കുമ്പോൾ ഓടി വന്ന് എന്റെ കൈവിരലിൽ പിടിക്കുന്നതും എല്ലാം ഞാൻ ഓർത്തു. ഒരുമിച്ച് വിശേഷങ്ങളൊക്കെ പറഞ്ഞ് സന്തോഷത്തോടെ fiat കാറിൽ വീട്ടിൽ വന്നു ഇറങ്ങുന്നതും , വരുന്ന വഴി പതിവായി വാങ്ങി കൊടുക്കാറുള്ള മിഠായിയും കഴിച്ച് സന്തോഷത്തോടെ അമ്മുമ്മയുടെ അടുത്തേക്ക് ഓടുന്നതും ഓർമയിലേക്ക് വന്നു. ഇന്ന് ഇതാ ഞാൻ അവശൻ ആണ് ശ്വാസം എടുക്കാൻ പോലും എനിക്ക് ബുദ്ധിമുട്ട് അനുഭവപ്പെടുന്നു എൻറെ ഹൃദയമിടിപ്പിന്റെ താളം തെറ്റി തുടങ്ങി , ചിലപ്പോൾ പതുക്കെ, ചിലപ്പോൾ വേഗത്തിൽ . ഞാൻ കാത്തിരുന്നു, അവൾക്കായി.
അവളുടെ പ്രിയപ്പെട്ട വാസു അപ്പുപ്പന്റെ വേർപാടിന്റെ ദു:ഖത്തിലാണ് അവൾ. പഠനം കഴിഞ്ഞ് മോൾ വന്നതിന്റെ ആഹ്ലാദം എനിക്കുണ്ട്, എന്നാൽ എനിക്ക് അത് അവളെ അറിയിക്കാൻ സാധിക്കുമോ എന്ന് അറിയില്ല കതക് തുറക്കുന്ന ശബ്ദം ഞാൻ കേട്ടു, എന്റെ ഹൃദയമിടിപ്പിന്റെ വേഗത കൂടുന്നു എനിക്കറിയാം അവൾ ഓടി എൻറെ അടുത്ത് വരും, കൈപിടിച്ച് വിശേഷങ്ങൾ പറയും കട്ടിലിൽ കിടന്ന എൻ്റെ അടുത്ത് അവൾ എത്തി ഇനിയും കേൾക്കാനും , ഓമനിക്കാനും, ചിരിപ്പിക്കാനും സ്നേഹിക്കാനും ആഗ്രഹമുണ്ട് . എങ്കിലും ഞാൻ ഇന്ന് സന്തോഷവാനാണ് അവളുടെ കൈകളിൽ മുറുകെ പിടിച്ച് എന്നെന്നും ഓർക്കാൻ ഒരു പുഞ്ചിരി ഞാൻ നൽകി കാത്തിരിപ്പിന് വിരാമം എനിക്ക് പോകാൻ സമയമായി മോൾക്ക് കൂട്ടായി എന്നും ഈ അപ്പൂപ്പൻ ഉണ്ടാകും.
VISMAYA
This is a poem addressed to all the innocent, naive angels of our society exhorting them to have courage, empower themselves and not surrender before entering into any marital relationship.......
Stop wondering Vismaya
Learn to live
Stop being weak,naive
Learn to react
Stop being so innocent
Learn to say NO
Stop keeping things to yourself
Be open and stern
Stop adjusting
Learn to stand on your strong convictions
Do not be the oppressed always
Learn to act in the same coin as you receive
Be polite and not submissive
Do not submit to injustice
In inaction you will stay as Vismaya
Search your niche
Make yourself heard
Aid will reach you from hundred quarters
Let all monsters return to their dens
And meet their doom
Fight back and not to relent
This cruel world is not for Vismayas
Be the woman of the hour
Fight,fight the toxic . Do not surrender!!!
The first wedding
The relatively short third stay was in the same Kulangara complex on the opposite side in one of those houses built exclusively to be let out. This I think was the worst dwelling we have ever lived in. It was a thatched house with just a veranda, two rooms one after the other and a small kitchen outside. The washrooms were a little farther off. I used to detest living in such an inferior place and looked up in awe at the tharavadu and its occupants. I began to consider myself less privileged and self pity took its birth in me at this time….. somehow two things helped me in overcoming this feeling… one is the high regard which we were held in by the kulangara members maybe due to our high cultural and moral standards plus the affection poured on me from every person I came across. I was a pleasant child full of smiles, friendliness and good humour.
Two important incidents make the stay memorable . One is… My education began…I was admitted in Lower Primary Government School Pattom. I remember the classroom, the building and even the arrangement of the benches. The first and second years of my schooling took place here. The building exists only in my memories. During this time I used to play with the eldest daughter's boys who were my age. I cant remember much about them.
The other memorable incident was Valliammavan’s wedding. The fact that Valliammavan could marry a doctor from a relatively richer family than us was a matter of great pride for all of us. I enjoyed the pre-wedding visits to ammayi’s house, the preparations and the wedding itself . Our small house suddenly bustled with activity and became spacious enough to accommodate all the Thayyil family members. When we have space in our minds the physical space and luxuries were limited. Now when we have space and luxuries there is hardly any to avail those. That is the paradox of life. This wedding stands tall in my thoughts as it was a grand affair in which all the family members took part and the high esteem attached to ammayi being the first daughter -in law of the family and a doctor at that.....
Second ....
Way up the Pattom Kesavadasapuram Road to the left side is the Kulangara Lane leading to the aristocratic, majestic Kulangara Bungalow sprawling over an acre or so of land. I have the clear visuals in my mind of the enormous tharavadu and the three other small houses in that compound. One at the farthest end was occupied by the eldest daughter of the family and the other two were let out. A portion of the Kulangara house with a veranda and two rooms was rented out and this was our second home. This was overlooking a small kaiyala and beyond it a lush green paddyfield . The whole plot was elevated and on the two sides of it were green pastures with coconut trees lining the edges. The scenery from the height was just breathtaking . During this time I cannot remember much of Achans literary pursuits except the fact that he read voraciously. In this small dwelling we had a visitor who came like a whiff of fresh air ..... one of achans aunts who stayed with us for as long as two months or more. Why she came to us or who brought her... I have no idea....except that I became her intimate companion . Maybe she reminded me of my own appachi who has always been my favourite. This aunt left leaving a special mark in my mind. Nothing was known of her after this short stay with us. After this ammas paternal uncle and ammumma came for the reatment of oral cancer . I can still remember her heartrending cries, her acute suffering and a bleeding red flower like structure which appeared on her cheek. Its better not to chew the cud of past painful memories. Let it be interred with all that is past and forgotten.....
Let’s Dance in the Rain
The Su’s were never forgotten
But blurred and dimmed
Beyond recognition , clarity
beyond layers of memory, emotion
sweet or bitter, experiences
meetings, sweet-nothings
Forming the horizon of the setting sun
Why’s , why nots, doubts
An umbrella borrowed
rainy days reminding
the hurt of the unreturned
the pain lingered ever since
Was it guilt, pain of friendship or separation ?
An uncanny, mysterious pain..
Fifty decades hence
the umbrella is returned
Let it rain now
My friend and I can dance in the rain
And drench away all our pain.
Down the memory Lane...
Sojourns inevitable in a bank employees career.. Each shifting is marked with new friends, new neighbours,distinctions in status and of course new developments in Achans perspectives and vision.We have set up life in more than 20 houses distributed in different cities as Allleppey,TVM, Shoranur, Trichur and Ernakulam. Thoughts of each house brings in a fresh horde of memories associated with it... neighbours, the social set up, the house and each room of the house itself.The first house that we tried to set up roots was in Pattom.It was a fairly decent concrete house and we had Jose uncle as our neighbour. Infront of the house was a vacant plot and at a height beyond the wall resided a very affluent family. You can imagine ammas socialising skills when she could befriend this family and share goodies and gossip over the wall with Amma standing below and them leaning over the wall.A little way down Jose uncles house was another house in which some bachelors lived. Among them were Valliammavan and Kochchan, both working. So their visits were frequent.It was at this time that Janammakunjamma came to stay with us for a brief period and even as a child I could perceive the brief infatuation that developed between kochachan and kunjamma. But it was however short lived as Valliammavan could nip it in the bud.The first incident that shook and unnerved me in my childhood also happened at this house. A bout of typhoid which kept Achan in hospital for weeks together , the visit of my grandparents which was both an indication of the seriousness of the situation as well as a morale booster , the helpful intervention of Dr.Unni ,,Achans cousin....all these are memories etched in my mind.
I have an uncanny habit of associating each house that we stayed in with some stray incidents or some pieces of sensational news.Jose uncles house with all that is merry reminds me of Christmas and the bachelors house with the movie Bhargavi Nilayam..Whenever I think of these such associations come...wonder whether it is an aberration of my immature mind...
Times Square
I felt Times square was a large M and M Store - people of many colours, races and countries- all assembled as the candies bottled up for display... each oblivious of the others’ lineage or identity- all trying to look significant and great but appearing puny and small under the might of the imposing skyscrapers . We could also get to see the serene fairylike charm of the beautiful landscape. Truly that was the magic of New York-- the juxtaposition of opposites-- the bustling New York Times Square and the scenic location of the paradisiacal mansions .Indeed we were lucky to enjoy the company of two wonderful human beings- Charles and Rehana- the revival of a long-lost friendship. Shall cherish those moments forever....