A lot of people named Ben Shapiro thought that WAP was just vulgar and juvinile. In actuality, this song about profusely moist pussies is a grand victory for black female musicians, and I will now prove the additional depth with this following analysis:
Whores in this house
There's some whores in this house
There's some whores in this house
There's some whores in this house (Hol' up)
In these opening lines, the central premise (there being whores) and geographical setting (a house) are flawlessly established. But then, suddenly, we are advised to hol' up! Uh-ohh!
I said certified freak, seven days a week
Wet-ass pussy, make that pullout game weak, woo (Ah)
Here we explore the everyman hardships that, after too many busy work weeks, evidently inspired a sexual encounter so intense that pulling out (possibly) failed to prevent the focal character's pregnancy. We do not know exactly why she comments on the pullout game, but we still suspect that sort of major life change. Riveting!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, you fuckin' with some wet-ass pussy
Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet-ass pussy
Give me everything you got for this wet-ass pussy
Once again, a tragicomical plotline about facing pregnancy and motherhood isn't out of the question. We don't get any solid confirmation on whether these lines are about sexual arousal or "the water breaking". The sheer number of theories I can pretentiously pull out of my ass is, I think, a testament to how multi-layered Stallion and B are!
Beat it up, nigga, catch a charge
Extra large and extra hard
Put this pussy right in your face
Swipe your nose like a credit card
Hop on top, I wanna ride
I do a kegel while it's inside
Spit in my mouth, look in my eyes
This pussy is wet, come take a dive
The dive being referenced here speaks to the riskiness of throwing oneself into the love life of our protagonist when she must raise another human being. Also, if you watch closely, you may spot a reference or two to cunnilingus. And the person singing - our heroine - wants to have that. With someone.
Tie me up like I'm surprised
Let's roleplay, I'll wear a disguise
This is about BDSM. It's really clever.
I want you to park that big Mack truck right in this little garage
Make it cream, make me scream
Out in public, make a scene
I don't cook, I don't clean
But let me tell you how I got this ring (Ayy, ayy)
In this part, the truck represents the male sexual organ, and the garage is a sagaciously worded analog for the female one. Alas, our protagonist grows self-conscious about her inadequacy as an unnamed man's wife (not being keen on cleaning or cooking, yet still wearing a ring). A previous marriage? A current, unsatisfying one? The possibilities are endless at the rate I'm goingI mean that Cardi is going.
Gobble me, swallow me, drip down the side of me (Yeah)
Quick, jump out 'fore you let it get inside of me (Yeah)
Once again we see the anxieties of motherhood. Did something of this ilk go awry in that previous marriage I mentioned? One must ponder.
I tell him where to put it, never tell him where I'm 'bout to be (Huh)
I'll run down on him 'fore I have a nigga runnin' me (Pow, pow, pow)
Talk your shit, bite your lip (Yeah)
Ask for a car while you ride that dick (While you ride that dick)
You really ain't never gotta fuck him for a thang (Yeah)
He already made his mind up 'fore he came (Ayy, ah)
“Having solved all the major mathematical, physical, chemical, biological, sociological, philosophical, etymological, meteorological and psychological problems of the Universe except for her own, three times over, Cardi was severely stuck for something to do, and had taken up composing short dolorous ditties of no tone, or indeed tune. The latest one was a lullaby."
Now get your boots and your coat for this wet-ass pussy (Ah, ah, ah)
He bought a phone just for pictures of this wet-ass pussy (Click, click, click)
Pay my tuition just to kiss me on this wet-ass pussy (Mwah, mwah, mwah)
Now make it rain if you wanna see some wet-ass pussy (Yeah, yeah)
The clicking and the mwah-noises are onomatopeic descriptions of photos being taken and kisses being dealt, respectively. These are the things you can miss if you don't pay attention. That sounds sarcastic but you genuinely never know with Cardi B fans.
Look, I need a hard hitter, need a deep stroker
Need a Henny drinker, need a weed smoker
Not a garter snake, I need a king cobra
With a hook in it, hope it lean over
Our protagonist, joined by a friend, hunger for hedonistic pleasure but realize deep down they want that "hook" that makes us all just want to grow old in peace.
He got some money, then that's where I'm headed
Pussy A1 just like his credit
He got a beard, well, I'm tryna wet it
I let him taste it, now he diabetic
I don't wanna spit, I wanna gulp
I wanna gag, I wanna choke
I want you to touch that lil' dangly thing that swing in the back of my throat
My head game is fire, punani Dasani
It's goin' in dry and it's comin' out soggy
I ride on that thing like the cops is behind me (Yeah, ah)
I spit on his mic and now he tryna sign me, woo
NOTE: This might be a misprint on the lyrics sheet I used. I think the word "sing" might be more appropriate to the microphone reference. But it could be "sign" too. At this point it could be anything, really.
Affirmative interjection. Very nifty.
Yeah, you fuckin' with some wet-ass pussy
Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet-ass pussy
Give me everything you got for this wet-ass pussy
Now from the top, make it drop, that's some wet-ass pussy
Now get a bucket and a mop, that's some wet-ass pussy
I'm talkin' wap, wap, wap, that's some wet-ass pussy
Macaroni in a pot, that's some wet-ass pussy, huh
The vagina is, in fact, wet.
There's some whores in this house
There's some whores in this house
There's some whores in this house
There's some whores in this house
There's some whores in this house
There's some whores in this house
There's some whores in this house
There's some whores in this house
There's some whores in this house
There's some whores in this house
There are, in fact, whores inside the house.
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