VeichiBay

Conscious Living, Intuitive Eating

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Perspective; How Your Perspective Can Change Your Life

 Perspective definition: a particular attitude towards or way of regarding something; a point of view.

 Understanding the effect of perspective will make you think twice about how you continue to live your life.

In this beautiful world we have pessimistic and optimistic personalities and then you have the realist that is just logical about everything. All three of these types of people would have a different perspective on the same thing.

For example, ‘you and your best friend went abroad to go to a festival, and your best friend got mad at you because your phone was off and she/he could not find you anywhere’

What one person could take from this situation is that your best friend is overreacting as they have no right to be mad as you are both adults.

Whereas another person could see the situation totally different, they would feel bad because they would think that their best friend was really worried.

The famous question about perspective, “Is the glass half empty or half full?”. The fact is that the glass has been filled halfway. The story is whether the glass is half full or empty.

 The point I’m trying to make, Is there are the FACTS and then there is the STORY. And you choose the story depending on your PERSPECTIVE on the facts.

You can choose the way you feel about certain situations it is your choice. But to live a happier life you should always create a positive story.

My challenge for you is to look back on your past where you have memories that cause you pain and anger and change your perspective on it. Because maybe that memory that caused you pain and anger, may have made you a much stronger person or possibly taught you a valuable life lesson. Just don’t hold grudges or feel hatred as it takes a lot of your energy, it can sometimes get in the way of you doing the things that you want to do.

Here is a short poem I wrote

Perspective

We can all experience the same thing But have different stories to tell

Look at the same art piece But have different thoughts and feelings

Read the same book But write different essays

Is the glass half empty or half full?

It’s Your Story

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Dosha Facts: Understanding the Vata Body-Type

What does DOSHA mean?

Ayurveda started in ancient India 5000 years ago, Ayurveda translated into English means ‘Science of life’ it is a healthcare system that focuses on the mind-body connection. There is an understanding that every individual has different needs even if two people have the same health problem the patient must be treated with medicine that suits them as an individual. In Ayurvedic text, there is a quote that says “One man’s medicine is another man’s poison.”

If you go to an Ayurvedic practitioner they will assess you to determine your dosha so that they can get to the root of the problem and treat you the best way possible based on your Doshic needs. Dosha means mind-body type, dosha consists of five elements that are grouped in 3 doshas. The elements that form the doshas are ether, air, fire, water and earth.

The 3 different types of Doshas are Vata, Pitta and Kapha. Many people have a combination of two doshas and even though it is rare it is possible to be tri-doshic. Knowing your dosha helps you understand why you do things and why you are prone to certain health issues

Elements of the Vata Dosha

The elements of Vata are air and ether(space) vatas are known to be quite airy and dreamy, their heads are in clouds constantly coming up with new ideas. Because Vatas are a part of ether and air element they are not usually grounded to earth because they are constantly moving like the wind.

Vata are creators whose minds are so active it is easy for the come up with amazing creative ideas. When a Vata is out of balance they tend to lose interest and not finish the project they started just as quickly as they began to start a project. Vatas can be indecisive and known for changing their minds very regularly. When vatas are out of balance they find it difficult to focus and centre their minds.

Characteristics of the Vata Body-Type

Vatas generally feel cold no matter what the temperature is however people that are Vata really dislike cold environments. Unfortunately vatas are prone to suffer from poor circulation which causes them to have cold hands and feet constantly.

The physical characteristics of Vata are thin frame, small wrists, aching joints, they can be extremely tall or short, they have dry skin and hair. When Vata’s are out of balance they experience gas, bloating, insomnia, poor coordination, anxiety, forgetfulness and for vata women they are susceptible to experiencing menstrual cycle spasms. When vatas are out of balance inevitably that can put on weight and they tend to gain weight around the midsection of their body, chest and stomach area.

To balance your Vata dosha, follow a diet that is right for your dosha, Eat, Feel, Fresh written by Sahara Rose is the perfect book to guide you to eat the right foods for your dosha. Vatas need to be active to remain balanced, low-intensity workouts are best, the best exercises for vata are dancing, yoga, pilates, jumping on a rebounder, and jump-rope.

Foods that Vatas Should Stop Eating

Vatas are generally cold and dry and so they need to eat foods that counteract those qualities, foods that are warm, moist and oily. Vatas can eat many things however there are few things they must avoid vata imbalances so I put together a list of what vatas should NOT eat.

Raw Apples

Unripe Bananas

Dry Dates

Dried Fruit

Raw vegetables

Dairy made from cows

Lamb, Pork, Turkey & Venison

Palm oil, Peanut oil & Canola oil

White sugar & cane juice

The correct diet for vata body-types will change their negative qualities into qualities that will make vatas thrive. Vatas that eat raw, cold and dry food will only deplete the digestive and create an imbalance that can compromise their health. Creating a diet and routine that supports your vata dosha is the key to living a life of optimal health and wellness.

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How to Detox on a 3 Day Ayurvedic Cleanse

Do you ever wake up from a nice long sleep feeling slightly off and fatigued throughout the day? Do you currently suffer from digestive issues? All of these symptoms are your body’s way of communicating to you that it needs a cleanse so your gut can heal and reset itself to provide you with optimal health and energy.

The reason I decided to attempt the ayurvedic cleanse is that I was constantly getting stomach cramps. Like most people eating is a satisfying experience for me and so to have that taken away from me because of the pain I was experiencing I had to make a change ASAP. The purpose of cleansing is to eliminate the toxins and parasites that are stored in your body. Toxins can cause disease which is why it is important to eliminate them from your body. 

What is the purpose of an Ayurvedic Cleanse?

An ayurvedic cleanse is not just about nourishing your body, it is also about nourishing your mind and nourishing your soul. This is why an ayurvedic cleanse is my preferred method, it is not just about the body, in Ayurveda, they treat everything as one because of the belief that everything is connected. Therefore not only do you release toxins and replenish your body but you also release negative energy and improve your mental health during the cleanse.

When you eat processed foods that cause toxins you deplete your digestive fire in Sanskrit it means Agni, your Agni influences your health and so your digestive fire needs to be balanced. While the cleanse will reset your digestive fire, knowing your Dosha will help you maintain a healthy gut by eating foods that are recommended for your Dosha. Dosha is your mind-body type that is related to your physiology, digestion, metabolism and personality. I have taken a Dosha Quiz via Eat Feel Fresh and I discover my Dosha is Vata-Kapha.

Disclaimer: If you a pregnant, breastfeeding, on your menstrual cycle, or recovering from an illness it is best to not do this cleanse.

Preparing for your 3-Day Cleanse

Before you begin your ayurvedic cleanse I recommend that you allow yourself a few days to prepare for it. You need to mentally prepare for it, the hardest part of the cleanse will be resisting your cravings, to mentally prepare for the cleanse remind yourself why you are doing it, visualise the process foods you crave as poison to do the body ( this may be extreme but it works and it is very true that is why they produce toxins) meditate the night before your cleanse to commit to the cleanse.

Before you begin the cleanse you need to simplify your diet avoid eating processed foods, avoid eating meat as it is difficult for your gut to digest. You need to be eating foods that are easy to digest such as fruit, veggies and legumes.You’re probably wondering what does this cleanse consist of what will I be drinking. The good news is that is not a juice cleanse you can eat. You will be eating 2 meals a day, Stewed Apples or Oatmeal for breakfast and Kitchari for lunch or dinner along with herbal teas. 

To prepare you will need to write a grocery list: 

Basmati rice

yellow mung daal (lentils)

Veggies; Carrots, Zucchini, Green Beans, Courgette, Sweet Potato, Squash

Coconut milk

Vegan butter or coconut oil

Cumin seeds & Mustard seeds

Spinach

Tumeric

Ginger

Curry leaves or powder

Garam masala

Pink Himalayan salt

CCF tea (cumin, coriander, fennel seeds)& Green Tea

Cinnamon

Cardamon

Apples

Cloves

Maple Syrup

Oats

Plant-based milk

Starting your Active Cleanse

During your morning active cleanse you need to start with a self-care routine, begin with a morning meditation or prayer the point of this is to exhale the negatives you are facing in life and inhale all the positives in your life, this practice strengthens your mental state and releases anxiety and stress. Treat emotional cleansing with compassion and love, self-care is about loving yourself and being kind to yourself.

After your meditation, you should practice an Ayurvedic dental technique called Oil Pulling you should do this before you brush your teeth. This part of the cleanse seemed weird to me at first but the way I look at it is it can’t hurt me and it beneficial to me so why not? Oil pulling involves putting a tablespoon of coconut oil in your mouth and swishing it around for 10 to 20 minutes. The vitamin E in the coconut oil has antibacterial properties and it is also an antioxidant, the process of oil pulling improves oral health and overall health. 

Next, the self-care cleanse is dry brushing before your shower, use a body brush and brush your skin in downwards in a circular motion. Not online does this remove dead skin cells but the point of dry brushing is that it promotes lymphatic drainage, lymphatic drainage cleanses the body by draining excess mucus in the body, it also supports natural detoxification and promotes a healthy metabolism. 

Now it’s breakfast time! For breakfast, you can choose between spiced stewed apples or oatmeal, the links for the recipes will be down below. It is important to eat a simple diet to make digestion as easy as possible, to encouraging releasing waste and toxins faster. Make sure throughout your day that you drink 8 - 12 glasses of warm or hot fluids which keeps you hydrated and helps to flush out toxins.

Stewed Apple Recipe here.

Oatmeal Recipe here.

Late lunchtime! Or dinner time it is totally up to you as long as you stop eating before 6 pm the reason for this is that your digestive system needs rest to heal itself. For lunch/dinner you will kitchari because it will feel you up and is easy for your body to digest and it tastes yummy. I found a lovely recipe for you on Radhi Delukia’s conscious cooking site here.

Rest is so important for this cleanse, it not just about resting your body it is also about resting your mind as it is just as important. While on your 3-day cleanse it is important to surround yourself by things and people who are uplifting and watch things that uplift and nourish your soul. Incorporate low-intensity exercise like Yoga which is the sister science to Ayurveda.

Once the cleanse is over don’t jump back into old habits, gently return to your normal life and keep your cleansed body protected by avoiding the junk food and foods high in sugar. How you reintroduce foods will determine the success of the cleanse. 

“Let food by thy medicine and medicine be thy food.” - Hippocrates

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Consciously Living Through Wabi Sabi & Minimalism Aesthetics

Do you find yourself getting sucked into this fast-paced lifestyle, constantly updating your wardrobe, perfecting your home, basically being a compulsive consumer? If your answer is yes don't feel guilty because that is the lifestyle for most people living in the western world but don't worry there is an antidote for it. That is Wabi-Sabi! An ancient Japanese philosophy which is the solution to this fast-paced consumerism world you live in.

What is Wabi-Sabi?

Its history is rooted in Zen Buddhism. The concept of Wabi-Sabi is to encourage you to find joy and inspiration in the perfectly imperfect.

Wabi-Sabi reconnects you with nature and simplifies everything so that you can focus on the important things in life and finding beauty in imperfections so you can build and appreciate what you already have.

There is no perfect translation of Wabi-Sabi into English but Wabi can be defined as “being free in solitude” or “living in peace and having quiet fulfilment.”

Sabi can be defined as “rustic simplicity” or “taking pleasure in the imperfect.”

Wabi-Sabi acknowledges these three simple realities: nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect.

People are embracing the wisdom in natural simplicity and incorporating Wabi-Sabi into there homes. By having nature live on the inside of their homes with natural rustic material and decor which makes beautifully imperfect and cosy.

The characteristics of the wabi-sabi aesthetic include simplicity, asymmetry, simplicity, naturalness, subtle grace, intimacy, tranquillity and appreciation.

Minimalist movement

The modern movement amongst millennials is minimalism. The idea of minimalism is to stop the compulsive consumer habits and only buy the things you need. Instead of falling into the fast fashion trap minimalist will have a wardrobe fit for all seasons that is of good quality so that they are not needing to constantly buy clothes.

You will not find clutter in a minimalist home only the things they use on a regular basis. There is this misconception that a minimalist must have next to nothing in there home with no style or comfort which is not true. There are plenty of minimalistic homes that are cosy and stylish it's just not excessive.

Minimalism and Wabi-Sabi have a similar philosophy of shifting your perspective from perfecting everything and need everything to a perspective of appreciating everything you already have. This philosophy encourages you to let go of the idea that we need to add more to be perfect and add more to have a perfect life. When you declutter your life and your home you declutter your mind. Which gives you a clearer perspective and an appreciation for simplicity.

So many people are joining this movement for a number of positive reasons like saving money, the environment, personal development, travelling the world and living more of conscious life.

How to apply Wabi-Sabi and Minimalism to everyday life:

Create something with unusable items so that they have used.

Let go of society's beauty standards and embrace your own natural beauty.

Improvise with intuitive cooking and have fun instead of following a recipe precisely.

How meaningful and natural things in the home instead of buying decor online.

Let go of expectation and be present by enjoying the people around you and the things around you.

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Is The Illusion Of Perfection Manipulating You?

When we strive for perfection, or the perfect life. And we don't reach it. We begin to feel inadequate. But that's not our fault, because we are constantly sold the idea of perfection by society and the mass media. But what is perfection and does it even exist?

See, I believe that society want's us to feel inadequate so that we become consumers, to buy things to get us that little bit closer to perfection and when we don't feel fulfilled we consume more things. And the problem with this, is we have become compulsive consumers, we buy things we don't need to make us feel better.

Our compulsive behaviour with shopping, food, our phones and the content that we watch. Is only distracting us from our true selves. But there is only one version of you why would you want to be a clone of somebody else. The more you chase perfection the further you run away from yourself. So shouldn't we strive to be our true self?

If perfection doesn't exist you will always be on the pursuit and you will always feel inadequate. We get connected to things that don't make us feel complete, when we should be reconnecting to out true selves to realise we are already complete. We have just been living our life the opposite way round, relying on the outside world to be a band aid for us on the inside.

It's difficult when you are surrounded by this trend culture promoting the latest diets, idolising body types that are unattainable, unless you are willing to pay thousands for surgery and laser treatments. 

But why should we allow materialism, a superficial culture have impact on the way feel about ourselves. Perfection doesn't exist, the media has control over the current standards of beauty, body image, fashion trends, fitness, these standards change every year.

To heal from your unhealthy relationship with yourself, you need to stop seeking validation from the world and people around you. All that matters is what you think of yourself.

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Benefits Of Ayurveda & Intuitive Eating

AYURVEDA

Ayurveda is known as 5000 year old health system which has influenced Chinese medicine and herbology. Ayurveda is a Sanskrit word which means “knowledge of life”. In ayurvedic medicine it is said that to achieve complete health you must have knowledge of all aspects of your life. We focus on the mind-body relationship to bring you back into balance.

The great thing about an ayurvedic diet that separates from all other diets, is that it is personalized just for you, we find out what mind-body type you are by discovering your Dosha. Once you know what dosha you are, every health and emotional issue you have will make sense and it will be much easier to create the right diet for you. There are three types of doshas that contain two of 5 elements, Vata (air + ether), Pitta (fire + water) and Kapha (water + earth). Your dosha will determine whether you should be consuming hot foods or cold foods, it will reveals aspects of your personality and health issues.

I incorporate Ayurveda with intuitive eating as in ayurvedic medicine it recommends you eat only when you feel hungry but it also says to stop eating once the sun goes down but it is not a strict rule. Intuitive eating is all about listening to your body and fueling your body with the nutrients it needs instead of calorie counting and cutting out carbs and fats from your diet. Scroll below for more insight on intuitive eating.

INTUITIVE EATING

Life is built on relationships; relationships with family, friends, romantic partners, business relationships and a relationship with yourself. We also have a relationship with food. Not everybody chooses to acknowledge this as a relationship but your relationship with your food is just as important as all the other relationships in your life. Your relationship with food has an impact on your well-being, it has an effect on the way you feel, mentally and physically. Intuitive eating, is listening to your body, be aware of what is good for you and what is body.

Your body has many ways of telling you that you need to change your eating habits, but you will not be aware of this, if you do not deepen your connection with your intuition. When you are not connected to your intuition your are less inclined to differentiate when your mind is encouraging you to eat and when your body is encouraging you to eat. When we allow just the mind to have power over what and when we eat it can become a habit to indulge and over eat, or habit to eat less. Intuitive eating influences the mind & body to align with each other to have a healthier relationship with food. Intuitive eating is about embracing and loving your body, intuitive eating encourages you to nourish your body to fuel it with energy to make you feel uplifted and motivated.

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Why Ayurveda Is The Best Healthcare System

“Ayurveda is a sister philosophy to yoga. It is the science of life or longevity and it teaches about the power and the cycles of nature as well as the elements.” - Christy Turlington

Do you suffer from cold hands and feet even in the warmest temperature? Or are you that person that is always hot and pours sweat even by doing low intensity exercise? If you have issues with digestion, skincare and mental health. Ayurveda can help correct the imbalances in our mind and body by finding out your dosha then balancing it out with the correct diet and lifestyle for your dosha. If you are new to Ayurveda you’re probably wondering, “what’s a dosha? And how do I find out mine?” Dosha meaning ‘energy’ doshas are made up of the elements of the earth, all of the elements that our body consists of. There are 3 types of doshas and each one are made up of two elements, the doshas Vata (air & ether), Pitta (fire & water) & Kapha (earth & water) describes your mind and body type. Knowing your dosha gives you a deeper understanding of how your mind and body works. You will understand what foods are good for your body and what environments are bad for your mind. To discover your Dosha type take this quiz https://eatfeelfresh.com/new-quiz/ put together by Sahara Rose (Author of Ayurveda for Idiots and Eat Feel Fresh)

Earth is my body. Water is my blood.

Fire is my heart. Air is my breath.

Ether is my Spirit.

Ayurveda encompasses mind body and soul, Ayurvedic philosophy outlines the connection between our mental health and physical health. In conventional healthcare if you are feeling depressed or have migraines they give you a pill for it and advise you not to read the side effects. But what are in these pills they are prescribing? They definitely are not natural and they do not the cure the problem. The pills job is to mask the problem because in western medicine the doctors don’t have time to get to know you and find out the root of the problem. These are the reason I love Ayurveda.

It’s Personalized

What I love abut Ayurveda is that it is catered to you as an individual it doesn’t matter if someone has the same symptoms as you it does not mean the same treatment will work because everybody is not every body and Ayurvedic Practitioners recognize that the root cause is not always the same so it cannot be treated the same. One person could be have migraines because they are dealing with stress and another person could be having migraines because they an intolerance to milk but unlike a conventional doctor an Ayurvedic Doctor/ Practitioner would take the time to ask you questions about your life that is necessary to find the cause of the problem. Our bodies are unique and work differently and requires different treatment.

An ayurvedic practitioner will assess your mind and body habits and assign you a dosha that is compatible to your mind or body but its very common to have two dosha because your body could be Vata but your mind could be Kapha . Knowing what dosha you are is very insightful because you understand your body a whole lot better. Not every body acts the same so an Apple might be good for someones body but for another person an apple might be it toxic, it all depends on their digestive fire. Which is why practitioners recommend that you eat the food that is good for your dosha. To stay balanced Vata's cannot eat cold food they have to eat warm wheres Pitta’s can have cold food, it balances them out as their body is naturally hot which is why it is essential for people with a Pitta dosha to have food that cools them down.

“The great thing about Ayurveda is that its treatment always yield side benefits, not side effects.” -Shubhra Shunya

It’s all natural remedies

“When diet is wrong medicine is of no use. When diet is correct medicine is of no need.” Ayurvedic diets prevents illness and it teaches you to live a lifestyle that is much more kind and natural. Processed foods, synthetic pills and toxic ingredients have no place in Ayurveda and that is why I love it, it makes you more conscious about what you consume and how your body is being nourished. Any sickness is cured with a natural remedy in Ayurveda and they are usual remedies you can find the ingredients for and make up yourself. When you incorporate Ayurveda into your lifestyle you see that plants are medicine and any issues you had before was because of the lifestyle choices you made that was just bad for your mental and physical health.

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Natural Products For Kinky/Curly Hair That Will Repair and Nourish Your Curls

For women with coarse/curly texture, hair-care is a major part of their daily lives and although their hair is beautiful and soft it can be very time consuming. To make maintaining hair easier and less time consuming it can result in spending crazy amounts of money on hair. It can also result in people unknowingly buying harmful products that make their hair more manageable and “neater”.

Here VeichiBay will break down the simplest hair-care routine with products that are 100% natural. This routine will improve hair growth, moisture, prevent dryness, dandruff and product build up.

Shampoo Hair With Apple Cider Vinegar And Himalayan Sea Salt

Many retail brand shampoos are full of parabens, sulfates and toxic ingredients that strip away your hairs natural nutrients leaving it very dry and weak. Even the shampoos that promote natural ingredients are not 100% natural, making you spend more money for something you believe is a high quality product. To retain your hairs moisture and to keep your hair healthy you need to ditch the old products you have been using and only use natural products. Apple Cider Vinegar (known as ACV) is a natural cleanser that has many healing properties it is a great alternative to a shampoo along Himalayan Salt Scrub.

Why it is used in hair-care?

Apple Cider Vinegar Salt Scrub removes build up, cleanses your scalp and retains the natural pH balance of your scalp. Due to ACV anti-bacterial properties it combats scalp infections and get’s rid of dandruff and itchiness. It leaves you hair feeling soft and prevents rough ends by closing hair cuticles. It is great for curly hair because it gives the hair volume and keeps the hairs natural curl pattern. Whereas other shampoos weigh the hair down which changes the hairs natural curl pattern.

Condition With Avocado Oil And Shea Butter

There are so many health benefits to avocados and you don’t have to eat them to get all the benefits because there is avocado oil which is a lot more convenient to use for beauty purposes. Avocados has antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties, minerals and vitamins A, B5 and E that promote hair growth and youthful looking skin

Why is it used in hair-care?

Avocado is a great Anti-breakage solution, detangler and conditioner. It also penetrates the scalps, moisturizes the hair and scalps leaving it silky smooth and soft. Avocado unclogs blocked hair follicles and stimulates blood flow, which is great for preventing hair loss and promoting hair growth. Avocado oil is easily absorbed into the skin and scalp so you won’t need to worry about having a greasy face after it is applied.

Shea butter is extracted from the nuts produced from the Karite Tree. Like coconut oil, shea butter is a fatty oil that exists as a solid below room temperature. Shea butter contains vitamins A and E which gives the skin elasticity. This is why it is a great anti-ageing agent and it is a great natural SPF protecting the skin from potential damage.

Why is it used in hair-care?

Shea butter is known to be an effective natural conditioner. It strengthens the hair by making the hair follicles stronger so you will find there will be less breakage. Shea butter is also known to locks in moisture without making it heavy. It can be used on hair and skin for it’s healing properties, shea has natural anti-inflammatory properties that soothes the scalp and protect against any scalp infections. Shea butter works well together with Avocado Oil they make a great conditioner and leave-in conditioner combo, they both moisturize the hair really well without weighing your hair down retaining your natural curl pattern. The problem with drug-store conditioners is that they can be to heavy on the hair which will cause different textures in your hair which can make hair look unhealthy.

Style And Retain Moisture With Aloe Vera & Lemongrass Oil

For Kinky/Curly you only need to be washing it once a week. To keep it healthy and to retain moisture when you wrap your hair before you go to sleep apply Aloe Vera and mixed with the essential oil Lemongrass. Lemongrass makes your hair smell fresh and it is great for strengthening hair but if you want faster growth I would mix the Aloe Vera with Tea Tree oil as it stimulates the scalp and cleanses it, helping the hair to grow faster.

Why is it used in hair-care?

Lemongrass oil strengthens your hair follicles which is great for preventing excessive shedding. It contains a lot of iron which prevents hair loss. Lemongrass adds a nice shine to your curls without making it to oily because it reduces the production of excess oil on your hair. Aloe Vera is great for the hair because it alleviates itching and stops scalp irritation and it reduces dandruff. Aloe Vera is used as a hair gel, it is great for holding hairstyles and some people use it as an eyebrow gel, also as a gel for eyelashes to stimulate growth. I cannot confirm if that method works but you can try if for yourself if the Aloe Vera is 100% natural.

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Communication Tips For Healthy Conflict That Will Make Your Relationship Bulletproof

It's inevitable that you will experience conflict in your relationship, but the biggest myth is that conflict is unhealthy for a relationship. Conflict can be healthy for your relationship if you learn to communicate effectively and mindfully. The goal of conflict is not for you to win and him/her to lose. The goal is to reach a point of understanding and to be able to let go and move on together. When you and your partner have mastered the art of embracing healthy conflict and communicating effectively your relationship should be as strong as titanium.

Aggressive and passive-aggressive communication.

Any type of aggression towards your partner should not be allowed to be a part of your relationship. It shows a lack of respect and disregard for how the other person is feeling. The aggressor is only concerned about how they feel and will want to express it even though it will make their partner feel uncomfortable. This kind of behavior is unacceptable in any kind of relationship and it also damages the relationship because it creates fear and it breaks down trust. Instead of aggressive communication try assertive communication, it is a way of expressing your pain and frustration in calm but firm manner without shouting and making the other person feel like they are in an unsafe space.

To be heard, do not accuse.

A lot of arguments stem from insecurity and assumptions we have created in our head. We allow insecurities and assumption to boil and manifest until we are ready to point the finger and start accusing our partner. To solve this problem just be honest and start by expressing yourself with “I created a story in my head that you don’t like to spend time with me because you prefer…" That way the person you are talking to doesn't feel accused and instead of feeling the need to defend themselves they can just hear you out and empathize with you. This is because you have took ownership of the problem that is bothering you and you have been honest with them without trying to cause an argument. This creates a safe space for them to be honest and vulnerable with you which is the part of having healthy conflict.

Show empathy and seek understanding.

If one does not practice mindfulness when they are hurt and emotional it is hard to acknowledge someones else’s pain. When people show you a lack of empathy you feel like they don’t care which is valid. This is why it is important for couples to treat their partners words as important as their own words. Instead of getting caught up in your own pain so much that you can’t hear anything else. Try to understand the pain your partner is also experiencing. This shows all the values a relationship needs to thrive, love, empathy and respect. You can show you understand by reflecting and paraphrasing what your partner has said. This assures them that you are hearing every word they are saying. It also helps you rationally process and reflect on what they have just said instead of reacting without thought and saying things that are hurtful you might regret later.

Remember it is not you VS him/her, you are a team

Jay Shetty appeared on Red Table Talk and brought to light this issue people have with conflict. There is a perception that when you are arguing with your partner it is you against them, but if they are your “partner” it should be both of you together as a team against the problem. You both should be fighting for the same thing which is keeping your relationship alive, so don’t go on opposite teams because there is a problem you are conflicting on. Come together and view it as you two against the problem. When you both have the maturity and strength to deal with conflict this way, there will be nothing that you both cannot get through. You will never be facing problems alone on opposite teams, you will be conquering problems together which makes it a whole lot easier to overcome.

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3 Secrets You Must Discover Before Committing To A Relationship

Love is the main catalyst behind all the important decisions we make in our lives. We study the subjects that we love, we buy the house that we love, we choose our life partner because of love. But we also stay in toxic relationships because we think it’s love, we don’t treat ourselves kindly because we don’t feel we deserve love, and we compulsively consume products and food to fill a void which is love.

Why can’t love just make sense and be simple? Well, it can be, the problem is when we make decisions we mix love with intellect and ego when we really should be making decisions based on love and intuition.

Because we have been socially conditioned as a society we are out of touch with our intuition, so it’s important to practice and deepen your connection with your intuition so your decisions centred around love are less stressful and more simple.

Silence The Voice Of The Ego

The ego is your best friend when climbing up the corporate ladder but no so much when making personal life-changing decisions. The ego is manifested through the need to feel significant and loved by everyone. The ego plays a big part in your intellectual decisions which is why you need to be mindful of that. The ego is a part of you that you have created, the version of you that has it all together, the ego is just an illusion that is great at receiving instant gratification but with long-term consequences.

To understand your true feelings you have to be aware of your ego and keep it quiet. How? Stop fueling it, when your intentions are not genuine you fuel it, when you make decisions to receive validation and when you begin a relationship to fill a void you don't want to deal with, the ego will always be present in that relationship and it will create problems.

Meditate To Connect With Your Intuition

Animals survive off of their instinct and humans survive off of their instinct, intellect and intuition. But that's not entirely true in this modern society as the intuition usually gets ignored. If we did make decisions with the help of our intuition we would not be compulsive consumers and instead we would buy more consciously which would be bad for the economy. This is why I say we have been socially conditioned to not make decisions based on our intuition.

Have you ever gone through we something you're not too sure about but can't explain why and something happens and you say in your head “I knew I shouldn't have agreed to this!” That unexplainable feeling of uncertainty was your intuition trying to guide you. So you must acknowledge it and just follow it even though it doesn't make sense. This is why meditation is key, not only does it calm mental stress but it also deepens your connection with your intuition. This is because it clears your head space and gives you clarity which makes you more aware of your emotions and thoughts and why you are experiencing them. So when it comes to a decision based on love, connect with your intuition and you will find the answer that's right for you.

Feel It, See It and Believe It

If you are able to acknowledge the ego influencing your decision and when you connect with intuition and you feel it's not right even though you really don't want to admit it and let what you have to go. Then that's how you know it's not real.

Now let's focus on how you know it is real. It will just make sense and it will feel right. You already beady be able to see how your life is going to change, once you start manifesting the life you are going to have because the life-changing decision you have made, you know you have made the right choice. You should not have that unsettling feeling after you have made your decision, you should feel ecstatic and light as if a weight has been lifted off your chest.

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Why You Need To Ditch Your Deodorant Now

Deodorants and antiperspirants are part of everyone’s daily routine, it’s considered a sin if you go out without using any. But I’m telling you to ditch them right now. Not because I want you to go out sweaty and smelly but it’s because deodorants are hazardous to our health and I have an alternative for you that is x10 better than your conventional deodorant. Here are the reasons I’m urging you to ditch your deodorant and switch to a natural deodorant:

Chemicals & Toxins

All conventional deodorants contain a long list of chemicals that we sometimes cannot even pronounce, but all of those chemicals are going into our pores and through our bodies and we are oblivious of what they do to our bodies. Deodorants/antiperspirants create toxins in the body, hormonal changes and are harmful to our organs. Even on the deodorant it has warning sign telling us to spray it 15cm away. Now if it is was safe to use and all natural they would not need to display that warning sign.

As a society we are quick to buy the latest cosmetics and clothes and gadgets, but when it comes to our health we put it on hold, we don’t pay attention to whats in our food or body care. But 2019 is the year of self-love and it’s time to be kind to yourself and be mindful with what you consume and how you fuel your body.

Fragrance & Body Odor

Body odor is bacteria that likes to feed on the fatty oils from your sweat, when they are broken down into acids they produce a smelly gas we recognize as body odor. When using deodorant it only masks this smell but creates more bad bacteria under the armpits. And antiperspirants block your pores so bacteria can’t be formed which means no sweat and no odor, the only problem with this is that it causes toxins in the body. Because antiperspirants have zirconium and aluminum salts and your armpits absorb everything you definitely don’t want them absorbing toxic metals .

Some deodorants do not name the fragrances they use on the ingredients list so you really have no clue as to what your putting on your body. I believe we should be kind to our skin and nourish it with natural products, my theory with body care is that if you can’t eat you really shouldn’t be putting it on your skin.

Of course these big companies are happy to lie to us and tell us that it’s not harmful and it’s good for us because it’s a billion dollar industry. The same way they hid the health risks of tobacco for so long, alcohol and red meats. The companies only back track and tell the truth when they know they have to. The same way oil companies say climate change is a myth, the reason why they say that? It will cost them trillions if everyone starts using electric cars to reduce their carbon emissions.

Salt Of The Earth Deodorant

Salt Of The Earth deodorant is a game changer and it’s the only natural deodorant I’m going to recommend because I can’t guarantee you 100% it works! Also it will save you money because it just never goes down a month after using it, it will still look like you just bought it. It is a rock salt crystal with only two ingredients, and there is also a liquid form with a range of natural fragrances. The first time I used this I was skeptical and I brought along my Dove deodorant just in case I needed it, to my surprise I never needed it and have never bought a conventional deodorant since because this natural deodorant works so well. I recommend you try it for yourself and see why it is the best natural deodorant out there. Try it here

UK £4.99: https://www.hollandandbarrett.com/shop/product/salt-of-the-earth-natural-unscented-stick-deodorant-60071585?skuid=071585&brandId=1419

US $7.98: https://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Crystal-Salt-Earth-Deodorant/dp/B001F4HBB6/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3533ETF0YI2J3&keywords=salt+of+the+earth+deodorant&qid=1558031197&s=gateway&sprefix=salt+of+the+earth+DEODO%2Caps%2C1245&sr=8-1

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An Antidote For Loneliness

Loneliness is becoming a common reality for many people in our world today, almost everyone experiences loneliness at one point in their life. There are studies that claim that 40% of people aged 16-24 are experiencing loneliness. But I think loneliness is not something that should be kept quiet about as if it's a taboo subject. Loneliness is a state of being we can experience from one point in our life to another. Loneliness is part of life but it doesn't have to stay around forever.

The feeling of loneliness is often highlighted when your perception of belonging has shifted into feeling like you don’t belong. You begin to feel anxious and isolated, even if people are around you. When you acknowledge you're struggling to connect with people around you, it can make you feel like there is something wrong with you. This can influence your thoughts and emotions into making you feel unhappy within your own company and uncomfortable with being yourself. But you shouldn't have to feel like this, and you don't have to.

I'm the type of person that believes there is a solution for everything. The feeling of not being good enough is all down to your perception. There is an antidote for your loneliness and self-doubt which is, Love and Connection.

Connection

Being in the state of loneliness can leave you feeling misunderstood and out of place. It is easy to feel this loss of connection with the people around. It is even harder attempting to connect with new people, it just feels forced and empty. For you to connect with people you have to connect with yourself. Who are you? What are your values? What are you searching for? Self discovery can give you the answers to the problems you are facing. Living with loneliness is the best time to get to know yourself, being in solitude allows you to spend time with yourself, explore your passions and evaluate your plan.

Time is precious and loneliness can feel quite shitty but instead of harboring emotions that will make you feel worse, consider expressing yourself through creativity, it doesn’t matter whether you are good or not a creating things. Just try expressing yourself, express yourself through writing, art, dance, photography, film making, or DIY projects. What ever you feel drawn to put all your harbored emotions into something you enjoy doing.

Connecting with nature is great for you well-being. Living in a city or town with so much noise, so much going on at a fast pace has a major effect on your mental health. The Wildlife Trust believe spending time in nature has a restorative effect and improves mental health. In nature everything tranquil and beautiful, all of your senses come alive and it makes you appreciate the present moment. The nature helps put things into better perspective because when you are within nature it gives you peace of mind and clarity.

Love

For connection with people to be natural and genuine you have to have an open heart. Open to receive love and give love. You have to believe that you deserve love. When in the state of loneliness it is common that your perception of your own value can appear small. Sometimes the enemy can be the mind that is not tamed. The mind can be overpowering if you let it, it can lead you to self doubt, loss of confidence, and it is very good at make you feel like a victim. You have all the power within you to defeat the pessimistic mind. Do not become the victim of the mind become the version of you who you aspire to be, as that version of you is already within you. You just need to break free of the limiting beliefs that are making you feel stuck.

How long you endure your own suffering is up to you. When you experience suffering for a long period of time it can make you bitter and disconnected from your true self. But with an open heart that never stops loving it makes your journey a whole lot easier. You just have to decide that you are going to make positive changes and overcome yourself.

The motivation needed to help you get out of your own way is having purpose. Having purpose gives people a feeling of belonging. Whether that purpose is volunteering, starting a project or setting yourself a challenge that will make a big difference in your life. Whatever you aspire to do, just do it, create your own purpose. Don’t wait for permission and don’t rely on the the world to give you your purpose, just create your own.

To have more love in your life, you start with yourself. It might sound cliche but self-love is the healing medicine for all self-doubt, lack of confidence and love. When you give yourself permission to receive love and treat yourself as if you are your own best friend, you will feel good about yourself. When you feel good about yourself you are more open to people loving you. Because when you love yourself you can accept that you deserve love. When you have self acceptance and self-love, you’ll feel comfortable within your own company and your loneliness will evolve into aloneness. Aloneness is when you no longer feel the need to have people around you because you are very much present and content with being alone. Although it is a wonderful thing to be happy within your own presence, love and connection with other people is still necessary for your own personal growth.

When your heart is open and your mind is free, it is less stressful and is more effortless to make connections with people. The important thing is to find the right people, find your tribe. The people that uplift you, the people that want to hear you and understand you, the people that share similar values and an open heart.

All relationships should have foundation built with true connection, values, love and respect. A strong foundation is what creates meaningful relationships and strong connections that last. Remember the antidote for loneliness is always Love and Connection. To get out of the cycle of dealing with loneliness remember to find yourself first, explore and love yourself. Be content within your presence, when you gain the strength to deal with yourself, prepare to face the world and seek connections that are good for you and your future. Because you deserve love and happiness.

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Urban Sustainable Developments That Are Shaping The Future

The world is fully aware of the negative impact of carbon emissions has on the global climate. The world leaders have signed the 2016 Paris agreement to reduce the greenhouse gas emissions to 40% by 2030. But is it possible at the rate we are going?

While countries are “trying” to reduce their carbon emissions. There are sustainable development companies that are taking action and showing that a Net Zero Carbon City is possible. Cities around the world are already implementing proven strategies, that show it is possible to build cities that reduce the ecological impact on the earth and create a much greener, sustainable city.  The Sustainable City  The Sustainable City is a housing development situated in Dubai, with a community of 3,500+. This remarkable development has an innovative, eco friendly design that takes sustainability to the next level.

The whole community is run on solar panel energy, which produces 10 megawatts of power a day. All the solar panels placed on the flat roofs of villas and apartments in community, including all the roofs of the car parking areas.

They have 250 electric charging stations. What is great about this development, is that there are more use of electric vehicles, bicycles, and electric buggys than there are petrol and diesel cars. 

All the villas were purposely built North facing, to get more shade to reduce the  use of air-conditioning. Temperatures can go up to 45° in Dubai, so you would want all the shade you can get.

All the ponds are situated along a large green strip that goes through the middle of the town. These ponds are filled with treated grey water that have been bio filtered by papyrus plants. They even have bio domes where the communities food is grown, again all powered with solar energy

  This place is the perfect model for sustainability. It reminds me of a futuristic Disney neighborhood, it looks like the ultimate happy place to live. It's not the only eco housing development, there is a development in London called BedZed  that was completed in 2002. You have Masdar City in Abu Dhabi that also a self driving car station for all it's residents. There is a growing number of eco housing developments situated all around the world which shows potential for a brighter eco friendly future.

Vertical Farming

  Vertical farming is the new way to feed our planet, vertical farming requires very little water, while 70% of fresh water usage goes to traditional farming.

Jack Ng, the founder of Sky Greens, has created the world's first ever commercial vertical farm, which is based in Singapore. The urban vertical vegetable farm is a low carbon production system, because they only supply food within Singapore, transportation of food has low carbon emissions, compared to farms that ship their food long distances.

  Sky Greens uses very little water because there system continuously recycles water, the system is run on hydraulics, it uses water to rotate the plants to get sunlight and nutrients. The water used to rotate the plants is the same water used to grow the plants. They also have a recycling system for Singapore that recycles soil and food waste.

Vertical farms are the way forward. They can provide food for densely populated cities without the need for the food to travel long distances which eliminates greenhouse gases. Vertical farming requires less space and less water than traditional farming. The good news is vertical farms are popping up all over the world. In cities such as San Francisco, Amsterdam, Lincolnshire and London, there might even be one in a city near you. 

  While more and more sustainable housing developments are being built. Vertical farming is reinventing the future of agriculture, it is the perfect solution for urban cities.

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#gratitude #present #peace #quotes

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#quotes #selflove #happiness #love #kindness

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People need Nature #globalwarming

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