love to forget about tumblr and then use it as a personal dumping ground for my brain. i’ve been playing baldurs gate and i am not unfortunately immune to the fucking vampire. so many thoughts about astarion x durge i am UNWELL
this is coming from me clocked in at my job btw. anyway.
resist!durge and spawn!astarion i am putting you into a container to study. it’s so crazy. astarion comforting durge saying he’s killed hundreds if not thousands, only for durge to find out they’re So Much Worse.
both astarion and durge having to reconcile with who they are, what they’ve done and what’s been done to them. and where their agency lies in all of that. neither are innocent, that’s for sure, but where is the line? cazador controlled astarion. for durge, it’s finding the line between who they are now and who they were. if you don’t remember your crimes, are you just as guilty? are they the same person who did those awful, awful things?
and oh my god. the difference between trying to end things with astarion before and after killing cazador. durge trying to leave him out of love. the line from the butler earlier, that he’s so so scared of everyone BUT durge. the line if you try to leave him, where he reveals the night he almost lost durge to the urge was when he’s been the most scared in his life.
just. people with awful histories. so much anger. anger that’s justified but also cruel and spiteful and dangerous. and finding healing. the promise of a better future. never being their old selves again but finding a new version along the way. GOD.
and also just one for me: my durge has the same hair as orin. that long ass braid. i am in fact going to write something about her asking shadowheart to cut it all off. also thinking about a thematic reclass (or shift of classes) to take some levels out of barbarian and put them into fighter. bg3 is d&d in the sense that combat/classes are there for the story and nothing else thank you.