vent-talks @vent-talks - Tumblr Blog

*scrolls thru posts* yeesh

#no not back lol was just bored #did end up making like #many diff blogs #google docs just never felt righ tjklfdsflds #then had episodes then deleted them all soooo #im also #the lonliest ive ever been lol #and saddest :)#i just go to school and work and repeat #ive crawled out of some rlly dark places tho so proud of that #despratley trying to get some form of closure on some stuff so i can move on #no luck on that #honestly the only thing keeping me going is the hopes ill move out next year #but with my luck who knows lol #mostly writing for myself since i dont think anyone remembers this blog anymore #but uh #yeah future me it gets so much worse lol

*has too much thinking time at work*

Welp

#decided im done with vent blogs #was thinking on it for a while i swesr this was just a oush i needed lol #10% cuz of recent evebrs but the rest is other stuff so #gbai lol #im just switching to more private stuff #if i do end uo liking blogs better itll be a new one

Realized something I had thinking on for a while ig

#dont love the answer but uh #guess i needed a reality check lol #i rlly do need out of this house man

Made it through the day...

Im gonna be okay.

#rough morning....but ill live #im alot calmer #ill be okay #vent talks

What do I do what do I do nononononono pls no I can't I cant

#g od no please #idk what to do #whay do o do i cant #im gonna throw ip #oh god #i feel so sick ph god #i dont wanna beg i cant bed #god o want to pls

Pls I'm dreaming I'm having a bad dream pls I wanna wake up this osnt real

#whyd i do that why #oh god

Nononono onono oh God no I fucked up I fucked up n onononononono

#im gonna throw up oh god oh god #nononono #n o nonono #no please no

ew this slushy was 90% syrup i want it out, maybe if i gag enough i'll actually puke lol- *pukes* . . . *desperately fighting the bad ideas away* oh n o

#god fucking damnit i should n o t have learned that skill during swim suit season #'thats a surprise tool that'll help us later' immediatley played in my head after h e l p #summer im not as depressed so h o pe f u l ly nothing will come of this a c k #vent talks #eating disorder tw #just in case idk

The shift between laughing and sleeby tired to fucking panic was a weird experience I'll say that

#like realizing I wasnt just tired and that something was w r o n g was #g od

I got high for the first time and it was the ordt experience of my life and I was on the phone with my fucking boyfriend ik I scared him gdi

#i feel so fucking bad #i asked him to call an ambulance at one point then immediately told him not to #i shouldnt have said that gdi whyd i ask that #i was freaking tf out hhh #im so sorry im sorry

me: god i hate how my body looks ive literally been having nightmares about it-

all my actually plus sized friends: : /

me:.....sorry

#i always feel guilty abt it gdi #like 'bro ur litteraly so skinny compared to us why're u complaining'#i dont fucking know!!!!! my brain just hates the site of me ig!!!!!!!#but fucking i can't vent to anyone about it cuz i just end up feeling like an asshole

'i need to do some crying but my tear ducts seem too proud so im gonna be doing some drinking instead'

felt that in my soul everyone is so happy i dont have access to any sort of substances cuz i would've drunk myself into a coma by now

#bout to start asking around if anyone has weed or drugs or litteraly anything man

honestly think the only thing i could stomach rn is a smoothie, idk if its cuz i feel sick af or grief or whatever but i took like 2 bites of food today and that was 1/2 only so i could take pain meds for my headache

#i have springs break this week and i comeplety forgot too #and i dont hae work till friday #i was kinda hoping to get out the house :/#i hate having a cold rn

idk how she made store bought waffles taste so fucking good in the morning but she did

it hasn't even been 12 hrs and im already trying to roleplay to cope :/

#i havent even said it directly out loud yet cuz that makes it real #but uh...guess....it happened #the fact its so hard to type abt it oh fuck

spent my first valentines single again after like 3 years : )

#i simply ignored it #but just kinda hit me ahahhaahahahahhahahahahahaha #i hate this house #*goes into my fantasy world bai*

hah finally hit me in my small lil world that I have no audience

#planning to release a webcomic #some random merch #wanting to make prints from a drawings #just hit me that I have like....no following lol #ive been ignoring it cuz im depending on my comic to be what hits off but like #what if it doesnt lol #meh fuck it #was hoping fo rhte extra cash cuz retail sucks ass if its not the holidays #but hey im still gonna do the comic cuz it fucking means too much to me so #if it doesnt hit off it doesnt hit off :/

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