Venus West

[venus-west]

Sexapades

Let’s talk about every time i have sex with a new person, because why not?

no these are not in order and are from present to years ago.

Sexapades #1

It’s always funny knowing that a guy thinks HE chooses to have sex with a woman. Nope! we know from the second we walk into the shower if we are groomin the vag or not.

To shave our legs is not going to be a waste so we WILL fuck someone.

So i met this guy on Instagram, not really my type but oh well i like to give the benefit of the doubt.

We texted for a while, and he was coming to Vegas shortly. I was excited but definitely nervous, he knows a lot of people, A list celebs and the last thing I want is someone talking about some girl they fucked in Vegas. What I’m horny.

I arrived at the hotel, trying to decide whether i should go to the bar first and take a shot of tequila... hmmm nope lets just do this! I walk u to his room ( which is a recipe for murder) but oh well my life is a big YOLO sign apparently.

I walk in and hug him, it was so awkward. like i said i talk A LOT when I’m in an awkward position. SO he lays on this beautiful all white bed, excuse me? you think I’m just going to take my top off and spread my legs for you? oh no no no the games have begun...

I sit on the edge, out my purse in front of me and for GOD ONLY KNOWS, I proceed to clean my purse out, like what in the fuck am I thinking right now.

So we’re talking and I’m making mild eye contact with him like “ okaaaay let’s go drink or something SHIT” after about 20 min we decide to go walk around and drink, finally... 

As I’m turning around to walk out the door he grabs me, i have a huge smile on my face because let’s just say I’m REALLY good at “ the game” I mean it’s to the point where I’m pretty sure I get whatever the fuck I want.

He kisses me.

Little tongue and a little of ABSOLUTELY NO SPARKS!

I mean this is the first time this has ever happened, so i decide in my head that this is a fuck buddy only, and I already shaved my legs. We go out drinking and walking around and at this point I’m over it, let’s just go back and fuck.

We walk into his room and start kissing, ripping off our clothes, he thinks it’s passionate and I just want to go to the club. He throws me on the bed.. Ok i can deal with that. it get a little heated, fingering, kissing my breasts, at this point i don’t know if it’s the alcohol or I’m actually getting turned on. He lays back and points to his sex. Oh you want me to suck that? fine whatever, it wasn’t that big so I knew i could put my ALL into this “performance”. After I won my oscar he flips me over and we have very... brief sex. Disappointing after all that build up.

I get up to pee and fix my sex hair, alright time to go meet some pretty important people right now!

I let him know that, UGH i needed that and it was so good .. my devil horns were starting to poke out...

Xoxo Venus 

[venus-west]

It’s time to go home?

Oh did I forget to mention another man is in town and wants to get drinks? My OKCUPID easily gets 50 messages and day and I’m not trying to sound “above all people” that’s normal for women and plus, those Instagram filters work WONDERS!

I wouldn't normally go from one date to another but it sucked so bad I thought, why not? 

I text him and drive up to Cesears palace. I think I found the farthest bar possible in Cesears, btw I've had a few glasses of wine typing this, excuse me if it doesn't make sense.

So i tell him where I am and I sit and wait, order a glass of wine. sitting on my phone I finally look up when this purple figure pops into my vision, It’s HIM!

he’s cute.

Again no cat fish, I can stop sweating lol

I look at the clock and it’s almost midnight . We sit and chat for hours, I honestly lost track of time! the conversation went from appropriate to inappropriate but we all know my mind is always in the gutter. He makes me laugh which is seriously KEY ( besides chocolate) to my heart,  He acts kind of to cool for school, is he trying to impress me ? Not really sure with this one since I’m obviously attracted to him but he’s not acting like he is into me at ALL, just anothaaa bitch getting a drink. whatever, he is good conversation

so a few drinks in and talking about spinners ( google it dick) I look at my clock and it’s 3:30 am, wow. I need to go to bed, even though I’m MILDLY horny from the wine I know i need to go home and not be a hoe. 

Surprisingly, he walks me to the valet.. is this man real? this shit does NOT happen in Vegas... EVER. So my car pulls up and I hug him goodbye, he didn't try to kiss me or anything and I can’t help but to think. wow. great guy. 

I get home and he texts me, which is a sign that he likes me OR he is just being nice, if you really want to know if someone likes you, they will text you the next day. By he likes you I mean they like you or they just want to fuck you. most of the time it’s just because they want to fuck you, but two can play at that game right?

Anyways this is one guy that out of the few dates I have been on, really hope I see him again, did i mention he lives in NJ.. just my luck!

The next day he invites me to chocolate covered strawberries and champagne.. UM do you WANT me to be in love.. seriously. Their is a fork in roads and you fucking picked the right one buddy!

Although women, most men just want to fuck you, it’s a  given. If you go into it knowing that, you won’t get hurt. Maybe I’m just cold hearted from all the hurt I’ve had on my whittle heart, which is okay, I am the woman I am today from being crushed into little pieces from men. Boohoo.

suck it up bitches.

I drive up to the hotel and pick him up, we go to Plazzo to grab the food. Mmmm foooooooooood!

We stand on the balcony and eat strawberries and sip champagne out of bottle, and you know what? this is the most romantic thing I have ever done with a man. This guy went from fun drinks to an actual date! he was smart, didn't get sexual which was a breath of fresh air! Ahhhh but unfortunately he is leaving, which is something you get used to in this city, and for some reason I have become very very cold hearted from this. All is good :) I enjoyed myself and hope he enjoyed himself. Although I wish things would progress, they wont and never will in this city. As a woman you need to explore and have fun with people, go on dates, enjoy yourself, and one day you’ll find him . As for me I’m going to finish this glass of wine and go to bed, for tomorrow is a new day and I am thankful I have met this man, life long friend or love? who knows.. and honestly, who cares. If you don’t want your heart broken then don’t expect things. He was amazing and kept me smiling, what more could you ask for?

Xoxo Venus 

[email protected]

[venus-west]

Not going to LIE, feeling a bit bloated to be honest, you gals know what I’m talking about!

I dressed in all black, Sexy right? I fucking hope so.

A mesh onsie, long black pencil skirt and a beautiful fake tan that took me a whole 20 min to apply 5 minutes to dry ;). I get into my car and for some reason this routine drive feels like it’s taking forever! Drive up to Valet, please you think I take the time to self park HA! I’m absolutely horrible at parking. Valet says no, pft please, little does he know I bat my eyelashes and get what I want with certain men. 

I bat my lashes and he complies.

Hallelujah to the women race!

Fixing my skirt and away we go! Where you ask? I’m at the Encore about to go on a Tinder “date” STOP COLLABORATE AND DON”T JUDGE ME!!!!!

This online shit is a TRIP and a half. 

So I sit at one of the bars as you are walking in, It’s red and mildly romantic, besides the fact that the drunken perv next to me thinks hes being quiet but.. hes not..  to the right of me I’m PRETTY sure it’s Jennifer Hudson, I don’t want to stare but holy SHIT your voice is a mix of Fergie and JESUS!

I order my drink and text my date, I need alcohol to confront this man of mystery, PLEASE lawdy don’t be a catfish, I WILL run!

I text him, he texts back... awkwardly he sees me but I don’t see him.

My phone buzzes and I see “ look up” oh great, shit just got real. Was I secretly hoping he didn't show ? A little....

So I hug him and put on a smile, it wasn't cat fish!!!!! FEWF

We sat down at the bar the conveniently is a cafe to. My feet are aching at this point because of the piece of shit slash amazing person who invented heels.

We sit and it’s a bit awkward, luckily? I talk a lot if I’m uncomfortable. By the way I have no intentions of going forward with this man, it’s nice to meet new people for me. 

You can tell he’s trying to charm me, I’m trying to be pleasant lol PMS has arrived and I am currently a raging BITCH. 

He reminds me that he brought presents for me from England, so where are they ? oh oh oh don’t you worry they’re just IN HIS ROOM... really?  didn't feel like getting murdered tonight!! I don’t know if it was the wine or whatever, but i went up to his room to get the stuff he brought from England, mainly because he mentions chocolate....MMMMMM chocolate! if you ever felt the feeling of ‘ Hmm i maybe getting murdered right now and I should probably have an escape plan’ that was running through my brains, I got my gifts and asked if he wanted to walk my down to my car because I AM OUTTA THERE!!!!!! Honestly he was SO sweet and you could tell he was really trying... but I’m one of those girls that little things bother me. 

SO very AWKWARDLY and when I say that I mean it... I say goodbye once my car pulls up. Men need to stop going for the “ first date kiss” it’s annoying 

Read my next post for what happens next !

XOXO V

[email protected] for dating advice ! 

[venus-west]

Who pays on a FIRST date?

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Kylie Jenner inspired!

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The messy people

Sorry I haven't wrote to you kittens in a while! A very long weekend filled with a lot of people! I promise I'll hop on my computer today and give some dating advice! In the mean time... Think of 5 impossible things before breakfast! Loves xoxo V

[venus-west]

HORRIBLE Bosses 2

So I went to an advanced screening of Horrible Bosses 2 ( no it's not fancy just go on a website to get the tickets)

I gotta say how FUCKING HILARIOUS it was.

I find it so hard to see a good comedy now a days, that has you laughing from beginning to end

CON... didn't see Jennifer Anistons boobs... as a woman, I am seriously jealous of how amazing she looks!

If anyone has anything bad to say about it they can S MY IMAGINARY D! 

The movie is AMAZING

Xoxo V

[venus-west]

Thanks GIVNG

MMMM I'm super excited to eat my weight in food tomorrow!

JK I'm on a diet and can only eating a certain portion :( 

Can I just say how messed up America is? We are saying how thankful we are for our family and WHATEVER.. yet the next day we trample each other to buy material items?

I'M SO CONFUSED!!!!!

I can honestly say I have never gone to black Friday.

An update on the BIOTIN I'm taking! It's been about a week and honestly... i think my nails have grown a lot... but I want MY HAIR to grow!!!

I am doing something I sosososo do NOT want to do... 

Go back brunette for winter :(

SUCKS SO MUCH! but my hair is literally getting shorter from being blonde!

How was my anniversary you ask?

We went to the movies and CHEESECAKE FACTORY! oh and drank two bottles of wine :) My kinda night.

Xoxo V

[venus-west]

I :( you. That is all.

What does that mean?

[venus-west]

TIGHTS

I just want to point something out...

I have a fat ass

And you know what else? I think it is absolutely NOT okay to wear patterned leggings IF YOU HAVE  BIG ASS

now if you have a small bum, go right ahead! you look cute

Those girls with stretched patterns that went from cute to seriously disturbing... people need to STOP.

Okay their is an exception to my rule... if you're wearing a tunic that covers your ENTIRE ass.. it's okay, but usually if you have a big ass.. your upper legs are a bit bigger... so just try to avoid this!

Trust me I'm a leggings whore and it kills me I can't wear these cute patterns! 

[venus-west]

[venus-west]

BIOTIN BIOTIN BIOTIN!!!

I dyed my hair blonde MONTHS ago.

My hair is dead... gone... slowly shortening , I'm just so obsessed with being blonde it's taken over my life!

But Alas, I must go back to brunette :( Just for the winter.

In the meantime while I'm hibernating and sulking, I'll be taking 5,000 mcg of BIOTIN. I vow to only straiten my hair when I go out ( which is never ) and purchased hot rollers! DAILY spray in condition, so hopefully by the time summer starts I'LL HAVE LONG HAIR AGAIN!!!... Seriously it's shoulder length and it used to be passed my boobs!

SCREW YOU NATURAL BLONDES!

just kidding ... but seriously...

Xoxo

V

[venus-west]

SOON babbess

[venus-west]

APPROACH ANXIETY

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WHO INVENTED THESE! Best workout undies EEEEVVVEERRR!!!!

[venus-west]

Society

Sitting here, on a Friday night, watching painfully addicting reality TV shows....Just thinking about how messed society is!

Why do we wear ( not me) dresses, skirts and shorts that pretty much show goodies that are not supposed to be seen? I'm so sick of seeing girls crying over how much guys only want them for sex when they are wearing a NAPKIN!!! 

Want respect?

Cover up a bit! I'm not saying be a Nun but seriously.. I really don't want to see your vagina when I'm out trying to have a good time.

HUGE fake boobs?.. we get it. Your tits look like they're about to explode, and not in a good way!

If you want a little bit of respect from a guy then dress a little more respectable? 

Now guys...

Why are most of you pigs?

Touching a girls ass then winking at her as you pass bye.

OH YA BABY!!!! 

no... no no no a million times NO

Take your wink outside and never open your eyeball again! lol

I'm so happy I'm dating someone who still opens the door for me.. honestly.. it's the little things that give me that flutter in my stomach!

PLEASE LAWD MEN AND WOMEN!!! respect yourselvesssssss 

hey we all go through a "slutty" time in our lives... but lets wrap it up in our twenties people!!!

Xoxo 

-A

[venus-west]