HEY I’M LOOKING FOR AN EDITOR ! YOU LIKE KYLO REN? DO YOU LIKE FANFICS?
Hey guys, I know it’s been a minute on here HOWEVER I am in the process of my new (it’s been a year, but still new) Kylo Ren vampire AU! I wanted to do it in time for the spooky season. With that being said, I am on the hunt for an editor for this fanfic! If you love Kylo Ren, or vampires and or fanfiction, this is the job for you! I will have a list of requirements/potential pay made for any candidates. Please feel free to DM me on here and we’ll get it started.
I’m back! What’s new? - New fics, platforms and more!
Hi everyone!
Its been a while for sure. In that time, there has been a lot of real life events, moments, and projects I have been working on.
Life is But a Dream - FINISHED
Yes everyone, this fic is done. I will be posting the last chapters on here. I will be including an epilogue sometime in December to finally wrap up this story. Doing this fic for close to 3 years has been a treasure, and I will forever love Spike Spiegel and this fandom.
See you cowboys and cowgirls, someday, somewhere!
NEW FIC! NEW FIC! Vampires, a life story and an old flame?
Our Hearts Condemn Us - A Kylo Ren Vampire AU
You are a writer for a local paper, desperate to find your big break. Given a new assignment with a high paying client, you are whisked into the presence of the mysterious Mr. Ren, a man whose power holds no bounds.
Sessions with him are secretive and tense, with certain questionable habits that only urban legends can come up with. But he's charming, a bit of an asshole and somehow, he’s bringing down your defensive walls. You don’t know about this connection, but it feels right. You never had such handsome eyes that look upon you endearingly...you think.
But there is something about him, that seems so familiar. But you just can't place it…
This is a brand new fic set in an alternate universe, with included Star Wars characters. This fic is also 18+!
[I DO NOT OWN THE STAR WARS FRANCHISE OR CHARACTERS]
I haven’t posted on here in a hot minute, but with that being said, I’m probably not going to be on here all together in the upcoming future. My platforms have changed and I may come back, but it’s not a top place for me to post.
If you want updates, fics and more, my platforms are now Ao3 and Wattpad. My twitter may open, so keep an eye out for that.
For those who have been here for the fics and fun, thank you. Its been a while, but I appreciate every single one of you. <3
Chapter 24. Before We Go - Life is but a Dream (Spike Spiegel x Reader)
Word Count: 4.5k
Warnings: none
[A/N] well, its the beginning of the end of this fic! We got a lot to get through though, so don’t go nowhere. Enjoy!
“You think or you know?”
“I know. An old dog still knows her way around.”
You and Spike crept into a small alleyway full of boxes and trash. It reeked of the materials that were thrown away, only a little illumination was shining through from the street lights. You looked out in front of you, noticing that familiar car in front of you.
The way the car was cruising, it was almost like it wanted you and Spike to catch up to it. You had to admit, having this place close to each other wasn’t that smart, but knowing the law in town, you really felt like they weren't too concerned about it. You really hope that you weren’t falling into a trap.
You walked on the tip of your feet, the small pap of your feet could be heard against puddles and pieces of trash. But from where you were, you doubt that he could’ve heard the creeping investigators on his back. From the outside, it looked like a warehouse, in the middle of nowhere. Brown, rusted. Broken down. The doors looked ragged. It looked like it had no business holding what you think it had. You remembered this place very clearly.
There he is.” You barely whispered, your lips just mouthing the words.
“Ah, you gotta be shitting me.” An old soldier, the one you always hated. Annoying, creepy, didn’t know anything about personal space.
“You know him?”
“Unfortunately.” You mumbled. “Perv.”
All the buildings surrounding were closed, no lights in their windows or the streets. Without a doubt, the syndicate bought them all out. Not suspicious at all.
You looked at the man as he stepped out and swung the door open, the door closing behind him with a loud ca-thunk.
“We’re going to wait this out.” You said, turning to Spike. “I still know how to get in.”
“Its been a while since you’ve been here, are you sure you do?” He asked. “For all we know, this place could be surrounded by traps. We could be in one as we speak.”
“I thought the same thing. But how could they know, Spike?” You said, putting your hand on his chest, your brows furrowed. He put his hand over yours and kept it there, looking at the hangar and back at you.
He sighed. “If he is not out in the next hour, we are gone. Understand?”
You nodded, your eyes searching your surroundings. It didn’t take long at all, to your delight. To get this done, and for you and Spike to be on their merry ways to Lou’s and back to the Bebop. The door opened once more, and the man stepped out. He grunted, stuffing his keys back into his pocket and climbing into the car. Now it was time to get all of this over with.
“Good, I thought he was never going to leave.” Spike mumbled sarcastically, looking around the corner as the car drove away.
You purse your lips and made the first move, creeping into the shadows and towards the entrance of the warehouse. Your hands, thimble and quick, began to work on the lock. Spike swiveled on your back, hand on holster.
“For something so secretive, this is a flimsy lock.” You stated.
“Shouldn't it be open by now?” Spike said lowly again, looking over his shoulder at you. “Aren’t you an expert?”
“Working on it. You need to give me a second.”
“We don’t have any, (Y/N).” He mumbled, his eyes darting around.
You could tell he was a little anxious about this, or agitated that you both were still in Yun in the midst of enemies and danger. To have another situation ending with a shootout, or either one of you getting badly injured, would be another disappointment. You wanted to shake off the thought, but it had to be taken into consideration as you tried to break into the warehouse.
Spike was not too keen that the both of you were still stuck here. Just having to leave the streetlights into the deep darkness of this unknown city put him on a higher alert than ever.
He remembered just how hurt he was before. While he tried to process your lie, he realized that he was so focused on it that he completely forgot how he got into his ship. Mid air, he gripped onto his controller and tried his best to meditate on it. And it took him all day to process it.
Waves of emotions echoed in the small red ship, from anger to hurt, to sadness and somehow, back to happiness.
Anger from having something important kept from him.
Hurt from the aftermath, and dealing with the thought that it was out of love that this secret was kept under wraps. And the fact that you both almost died.
Sad that you were sad. If you kept something as big as this as a secret, would you be sad? No, no. There was no way that you were unfeeling. Spike had clearly seen every single one of them from you. A comm from Jet pinged in, confirming his latter belief.
[Jet] Told her. She is a mess.
And lastly, there was happiness. Why? Because you were feeling. You were not cold, or uncaring. Every fiber of your humanity was intact, thriving with every kiss, every punch, every tear that fell from your eyes.
From the beginning, this mission felt like a step further closer to the edge. You both were close in finding a way to keep the syndicate off of your trail. How long could you hold them off? What would damage them so badly, that there would be no syndicate at all. He knew there was something you were trying to prove, something to close the past for you forever.
If it was destroying just a fraction of what there was, the rest could follow suit. As much as it annoyed Spike about history and that “Art of War” crap that Jet sprinkled into morning conversations, he could remember something about the fall of Rome. It only took one little push, and the domino effect went into place. All fell, and the recovery was harder to conceive.
In this day and age, it was very easy to. Guns, armies, power. That’s all it took to annihilate life. You may have not had any of that right now, but…there just had to be a one, tiny, little push.
He loved your determination. He loved the way you put yourself out to fight for what you believed in, even if it scared him. Oh god, he didn’t want to say it again, but it was true. He was scared for you.
Conflicted in the beginning of your time together, whether it was right to fall in love again, or if to push himself away again. That was his fear when finding himself in love with you. It was the fear of losing you. He cringes at the thought, not wanting to imagine the moment and aftermath of your death. How lost he would be without the light in his life.
The close encounter on Earth shook him to his core. Your bloodied body sent shockwaves, feeling as if everything was going by so slow. The response from Jet and Faye could have been milliseconds, but for him it felt like eons. He reminded himself that his fear was the reason that he was here with you, by your side.
So he swallowed his fear and straightened himself out.
“Did you get it?” He gently said this time, reaching a hand on your thigh as he had his back turned on yours. A hum came from you as you fiddled with it even more. The clanky jingle of the lock becoming free and dropping to the side confirmed this, and the short chuckle from you.
“There we go.” You pat his side, looking around. You turned to Spike and pushed his hat down further on his face, fluffing up his coat. His skin shivered at your cold fingers, but he let her do whatever she wanted to him. Maybe skin to skin was better than a cigarette to calm his nerves. “I’m going in for a minute. Only for a minute.”
“Do you want me to come?” He asked, tilting his head as his eyes bore into yours.
You shook your head. “It won’t take me long at all. Its just a quick look around, but until then, you know what to do. Stay hidden, and stay quiet. Understand?”
Seeing you give demands, as serious as it was, turned him on. Wasn’t the best place to have a feeling, but the way your tone was and just how beautiful you looked, he couldn’t help it. As you turned to open the door, Spike whisked you back to face him, his arm around your waist.
“What, what’s wr-“ you began, only to feel Spike’s wanting lips on yours, his arms just holding onto you. Oh how he kissed you. It was hungry, full of emotion and want. You couldn’t help but moan softly from how it felt, being kissed so sweetly by Spike.
You found yourself gripping onto his coat, almost sneaking yourself into his coat. Opening your eyes, you found a hazy gaze staring right back at you, a smirk growing from Spike’s lips. You breathed hard, shaking your head softly.
“That was for luck.”
“Well, umm….” You began as you tried to catch your breath. “I-if you keep doing this, we may just have to go on more missions together.”
“Stay in my room tonight and I’ll show you more.”
You pressed your lips together, getting mad at yourself for not focusing on the task at hand. You really hoped there was nothing to look at so you could make it back to Spike quicker. Would be a waste of time and resources, but fuck it.
On your heels, you opened the door slowly. The inside was barely lit, with a few lights illuminating the corners of the warehouse. You put your sunglasses on, with your gun out. Holding it by your side, you crossed over the threshold.
You bent your head down, eyeing the odd shapes that were single filed lines in front of you. You just needed a closer look.
The platform along the walls of the warehouse creaked, causing you to jump.
The main floor, if you could remember, only held cars and ammo. Nothing bigger than that. A few ships were in tow, but even that was a lot.
Your ventures never left Mars, and if they did, it was on bigger missions with more supplies that you think you could’ve lived without.
Despite it being chilly outside, there was a deep mist in here, floating all throughout the air.
That was odd.
You squint your eyes as you take baby steps in, taking note of the multiple boxes of ammo and equipment that was just ready to be unveiled and used on any poor soul. That was normal.
You walked down the initial platform you were on, to the main floor below. Those were machines? They were so small though…
But a closer look revealed a lot more. Sheets covered the weird shapes, cloaked in obscurity. You pulled one back, observing the details of what laid before you.
Their shape was just so odd. Circular, single rider. Multiple machine guns built on both sides. You noticed black bars on both sides as well. God this looked so well made, it looked like it would have cost a fortune just for the one. You took out your wrist scanner, allowing it to take a glance over the small carrier. Once downloaded, you back up.
This was a lot different from the modes of transportation from your day.
But…there is absolutely no way this was in their budget. Machine ships with such care and quality. Then you backed up, onto the platform. Single filed lines…more than you can count. From the outside, the warehouse looked a lot smaller, but inside, it was as big as a football field.
In the darkness, you could see there was more than you thought there was. Machines of death and destruction, waiting to be used at any given moment. This wasn't what you remembered, it was worse. There was something far sinister that they had in store. You knew they were just finding an excuse to use these things, to test out their damage. You breathed heavily, and rushed to the door.
This syndicate was bigger than you thought it was. And they were ready for any war, at any time.
A message was already sent back to the Bebop, notifying Jet of what you had seen. Immediately, he was on the job. “Did you find what you needed?”
“And more.” You spoke, shaking your head softly. “We’re making a pit stop and we’ll be back soon.”
After showing Spike what you had seen, hastily as you both rushed away from the area around the warehouse, he shook his head. You both spoke in hushed tones about what it was all for. You had your theories, as well as he did. But one thing was absolutely clear.
You had to get thinking. And quickly.
One step ahead.
Avoiding bringing the Bebop even near any settlement that was remotely close to Yun was a first. Staying in your own lane, not bounty hunting for a while. Running from the past, and the past catching up to you seemed to be a running trend nowadays.
This was going to be a group discussion for sure.
With a goodbye, you and Spike approached the diner closer, his careful gaze searching the area. “Are you sure she’s here?”
The lights outside of the diner were shining as bright as they did so long ago.
The outside, although shrouded by more buildings and trees, was still the same. Some corners were withered, but with character. The inside was lit, the open sign flickering. There was Lou, flipping the window shutters closed. You could feel your heart beam in happiness, wanting to just run inside and hold onto her. You noticed the hours were shortened.
She is someone you need to talk to, especially now. You smiled, seeing now that she had never changed. She was still perfect to you. “Uh-huh.”
You both glanced at each other before heading up to the entrance. You turned to Spike, fluffing up his collar again and brushing the hair from his ears. “There we go…nice..”
“What are you doing?” He asked, his eyebrows lifting as he trailed your hands over his face and coat, smoothing them both out.
“Making you look presentable.” You said flatly, taking another look over. You brushed his eyebrows with your thumbs, feeling the deep rumble of Spike’s mumbling against your chest.
“Does my rugged appearance not charm you?” He mumbled, his deep tone gravel as he pouted. “My character is built off of it.”
“Mother figures don’t like rugged, they like straight.” You replied, winking at him slyly. Puffing air out, you took that as a gesture of understanding your little tease. From behind, you could hear him fiddling with his collar. Opening the door to the diner, you stepped in first, head down. Your sunglasses covered your eyes, hiding most of your face.
Spike followed suit.
“Hello, hello.” You heard from the waitress as you both walked in. She sighed rather loud, setting the rag she was wiping the counter with on the shelf below.
You saw Jeanie, older than she was many years ago. Her hair was still pinned back in a bun, her face weathered by time and still, sharp. You could feel her attitude from all the way outside of the diner. Somehow, as offstandish she was to you, a smile from her was just as good as a hug.
Distracted with putting plates up, and cleaning the counter, she spoke with her eyes down, distracted by her closing work. “What can I get you lovebirds today?”
“I’m not too sure. What are your specials today?” You asked, your voice low. “Afraid I only have this much today.”
You threw a couple of woolong coins on the counter, the loud clatter of the metal bounced off the diner, echoing. Wincing at the sound, you looked towards the waitress, who scowled at the rude gesture. Wasn’t too nice to have the same done to her all those years ago, but maybe it would help her remember.
She took one look at the coins, and huffed. “That isn’t even enough for a plate.”
“But its all I got.”
“Sorry, no can do.” She insisted. “The door is right over there…” She took a glance at you, and took a double take, her face dropping. You smiled, taking off your glasses.
“Oh, oh my god.” She said breathlessly. “Oh my god, (y/n)!” She yelled. She ran around the corner of the counter and threw her arms around you. You were surprised that she could even show this type of affection towards anyone. Happily, you hugged her back, chuckling. “Lou! Get your behind out here!”
Spike gave a small smile, happy to see that you were. He put his hands in his pockets, and stepped back for this reunion to play out.
“What?” You heard. “What's going on?” You pulled back, looking at the entrance of the kitchen doors, your face lighting up. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Jeanie turn off the neon sign and lock the door. The lights on the outside were off, and so were the ones in the cafe, except for a few. Something told you that Jeanie knew about the trouble of being here, and of being caught.
Out came Lou, her apron off and the front strands of her hair pulled back. She never changed. She was just as beautiful as the day you left. She put her hand over her mouth, tears welling in her eyes. Remembering that you were in front of her, she held out her arms, and you jumped into them. Her hug was warm, her hands holding onto her shoulders tightly.
It was just like how you remembered.
“This is a face that I thought I’d never see again.” She said softly, planting a tiny peck on your head.
“I’m so glad to see you again.” You replied, smiling big.
“Me too, sweetie.” She wiped away the tear from her eyes, chuckling the same as you. “I shouldn’t cry, I got makeup on.”
You all laughed, putting your arm around her. “And who is this young man right here?” She asked, raising her eyebrows. She gave a knowing glance, her face telling you all she wanted to ask. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, and held out your hand to Spike.
“This is Spike. He and I are together.” You said, your heart beating even more as you said that. To say it to someone you knew, it made it official. “Spike, this is Lou. She helped raise me since I was at the orphanage.”
Spike knew how to make this sweet. He took off his hat, and held out his hand. “How are you, miss?” He said, giving that signature sweet smile.
“Gosh, miss. Haven’t heard that in a minute. ” Lou said, giggling. She took his hand gratefully, shaking it. “I’m doing well, Spike. “Oh, (y/n), you picked out a pretty one. Good hair, really nice smile.”
You raised your eyebrows, at Spike, almost like you were saying, “what did I tell you?”
“Oh no no. He picked me.” You glanced at him, who gave you a small wink. After all this time, you could’ve crumbled right there in front of all of them.
“Now, I have to ask you. What brings you back to Yun?” Lou said, folding her arms. “I mean, I haven’t seen you since all of that went down.”
You sighed softly, hoping that she had enough time to hear what you had to say. “You got some coffee?”
“Plenty of. That long?” She asked. You nodded.
Sitting down, you started from the moment that you left. Planet after planet, bounty after bounty, hiding from Red Jack’s. Those moments where your ship was not worth looking through, the voices echoed on Mars of the syndicates on the rise. You went into great detail of trying to build yourself back up, getting your own ship and having your own home.
Even though it was a distant memory, it was a very special marker for you. Independence, finally being on your own and at peace.
“And now.” You said, sighing, preparing yourself for what you were about to say. “The reason why I am here is that they found me.”
Lou’s eyes widened, her hand on her chest. “Because you left?”
Nodding, you continued. “They found me. There was a shootout on Earth not too long ago, and I almost died.” You pulled up your sleeve and showed the scar of where the bullet had grazed you. Lou winced, shaking her head. “Had it not been for Spike, I would not be here.”
“I’m glad you were there, honey.” Lou said to Spike, patting his hand. “So glad.”
“So now, we are here to find out what exactly Jo has in store. We found something, but I’m not ready to set off alarm bells just yet.”
“I have plenty to say about that horrible woman.” Lou grumbled, taking a sip of her coffee. “I just didn’t know it was going to get this far.”
“Me either.” You replied. “Either way, I just want you to be on the lookout in case anything happens. You didn’t see anything, you didn’t hear anything, and you didn't speak anything. Even me being here is not the best, but I just had to you both.”
“I don’t care. As long as I know you’re alive and well, that is all that matters.” She nodded. “Now, tell me about this one.” She pointed over to Spike, humming to herself as you beamed. This ought to be good.
Spike listened intently, sitting at the booth beside you as you began to talk about your first meeting with him.
“Well, you’re not going to like how we first met, I will say.” You said, taking a sip of coffee.
“Try me.” Lou replied.
Spike sat back, crossing his arms. This ought to be good.
“Don’t worry, sweets, I’m not going to spill every detail.” You reassured him. Lou and Jeanie laughed, giving your hand a light smack. “I was chasing a bounty that had a large sum of woolong included in the reward. I was creeping up on the ship, when someone, not naming any names, threatened to take me out.”
“Take you out? Well why is that so bad-“
“No, Lou.” Jeanie said firmly, making a gun gesture with her hand. “Take her out.”
“Ohhhh. Oh.” She grimaced, nodding. “Okay, I see now.”
“We talked it through, and had some ups and downs.” You said, flashing back to all the times you had first argued and avoided each other. To the times you had spent sleepless nights in his room, wrapped in his embrace. Finally, now. Forgiveness, and moving on from the nightmare that overcame the both of you. “And here we are.”
Lou smiled. “Well I’m glad you’re happy, darling. I really am. I think that was something you needed all along.”
“What, a boyfriend?”
“No. Love.” She said. You both shared a knowing look, dating back years.
It told you the struggle you had been through, from how the love you first perceived at both the orphanage and from Jo was not true. It was just a ploy, another step in their scheme. Even if you didn’t love yourself in that period, or even now, it was still there. From Lou, a motherly love was unlike no other.
And from Spike…that was the love you always wanted. Someone who understood you, stood by your side when times were rough, and was willing to go to the ends of the galaxy to be with you.
Spike couldn't help himself. His admiration for you felt like it was going to burst out of his chest. Loving you was so easy, so peaceful. For a moment, he forgot where you both were and why you were in Yun. It honestly felt like meeting her mother and sitting down for some coffee, like normal people do. He just loved you so much.
He leaned over, planting a kiss on your cheek. His lips lingered for a moment, a smile enveloping in his kiss.
“Well isn't that sweet?” Lou said. “Oh, those were the days..” Lou sighed dramatically.
“She says that, like she doesn’t have a boyfriend of her own.” Jeanie added. Lou elbowed her softly, pressing her lips together. They both began to bicker, insults thrown between the both of them. You and Spike just watched as they both laughed from their shots from one another, your hand reaching for his.
“Ready to go home?” He whispered in your ear.
“I’m already home.” You whispered back, looking deep into Spike’s soul.
Your home, where you belonged, was right beside you. Holding your hand.
“Now these pancakes..” The red haired woman spoke through bites, nodding. “These pancakes are always delicious. No matter the day.”
She took a sip of her coffee, and let her utensils clank against the plate. She dabbed at the corners of her mouth and hummed. “I tell you, Lou, you are just the best.”
Her bodyguard that stood behind her was still, like he was a mannequin. Lou took notice of how quiet it was besides the hums of the refrigerators and the oven in the back. She also noticed just how hot her face was, and the grip on her cleaning rag.
“I’m glad you liked it.” She took the plate and put in a plastic bin, her back to Jo just a second. “Anything else I can get you?”
Jo had her hands clasped in front of her, one of those polite, unnerving smiles on her face. Her red lips were pressed together as she just stared at Lou. It was like she was frozen, just holding her gaze on her for so long. The seconds ticked by slowly, neither of them moving an inch.
“You know…some chocolate pie is nice.” She finally said. “And another moment of your time.”
Lou nodded, grabbing a slice and setting it in front of Jo. She carefully placed a fork next to her on a napkin.
“Any troubles?” Lou tried to grin as happily as she could, but it was damn near impossible. She already knew what she was going to ask. “I’ve been told I could be a good therapist if I wanted to.”
“I sure hope so.” Jo said, twirling her fork against the plate, small scraping sounds heard as she did.
When I was younger, I thought about who my parents were.
I would tell Uncle Owen about it all the time. Sitting in my room, holding onto my blanket as he would tuck me in at night. When I would ask, he would stop, give a small sigh and turn around with a simple but sad smile on his face.
“I will tell you when you are older.”
And he would leave it at that. As I grew older, I asked more and more. Aunt Beru would allow Owen to take over, saying the same thing. One day, frustrated and annoyed at trying to fix a house droid, I asked again. Of course, I didn’t read into the situation.
“Do you really know who my parents are?” I peeped, watching as Owen blew air through his teeth.
“Do you really want to know?” I nodded yes.
“A spice runner from the Outer Rim, who only cares for crime and credits. A criminal, Luke.” He said, his lips into a thin line, shrugging his shoulders.
I looked elsewhere, trying not to cry. That couldn’t be true, there was no way. The idea of who my father was someone like Owen. Strong willed, heroic, caring. The short description of him satsified me enough. I didn’t dare ask about my mother.
As old as I am and with knowledge of who my parents really were. A Queen turned Senator of the Old Republic, a person for the people. And a former Jedi Knight turned into traitor of the Order, and the leader of the vicious Empire. That’s what Owen and Beru would have told me about them, I feel. In the short time that they met them, that was the conclusion that they had come to. But then I wonder…
Who really were my parents?
How did they meet? How did they speak to each other? What was their favorite meal to share? Did they go on dates like normal people do?
These questions can’t be answered.
How much did they love each other?
I asked Ahsoka one day, while the temple was under construction. She beamed from ear to ear, and crossed her arms, eyes soft. It was as if she was looking back into the past, looking my parents themselves. “Now that I see it, they loved each other very much. It was hard for your father to hide his feelings for Padme Amidala. There was a strong sense coming from him whenever she was around. We all thought it was just the feeling of childhood friends, but…well you know the rest.”
My father. A jokester, a brave knight, and a strong general. When I think of my father now, before he was Vader, I feel troubled. His idea of parents and family was that of his mother, and Ben Kenobi. He had no one else, until my mother came into his life. Conflicted as he was with the Jedi Order, his idea of fearlessness and easiness with others was admirable. A skilled pilot, I feel that maybe we would’ve bonded over spacecrafts and teaching me how to fly. Stories of his racing days on Tatooine were talked about, his speed and agility admired by. During that time, that was when he met my mother.
Told by Ahsoka, she recounted the times that they would be in public, not together but in a close vicinity. The passing glances, the brushes of her dress skirt against his leg. Or a helping hand out of a cruiser and to a senate soirée. It was the little things, the little details. Now this did help feed into what I always wanted to know. It gave me some comfort to think of a time where there was just them and the world, with no threats of harm against them both. It was only a dream, but it was nice to think about. I wonder what kind of tone he would use when talking to us, whether it be good news or scolding us.
“Your mother and I..”
Leia didn’t want to hear of our father. To think that someone that was a part of her genetically brought destruction and grief to her with no remorse, it was understandable to feel her anger. Those conversations would end rather quickly, and I didn’t press on. But about our mother…
Warmth. Sunshine. Bright, beautiful colors.
Its what I always imagined her. Kind and understanding, standing for to all beings in our galaxy. Skilled with her words in important council meetings, putting on a brave face in danger when her planet was under attack, it truly was admirable. I feel that was a driving factor for Leia, an inspiration in light of all that she went through. She prospered, she loved. She cared. Everyone I asked about her said the same thing. And I’m glad that I felt that, ever since I was young. My permanition of who she was, was right. I wonder how she would bandaged a scraped knee, or run her fingers through my hair, telling me how long it is and I would need to cut it soon. Or if she would get mad at my father for letting me drive a speed racer.
Knowing that the Jedi could not have families or relations as such didn’t shock me. What did was how long they kept their love secret, away from the rest of the galaxy. I believe that if such code was broken, perhaps both of my parents could still be alive. Ashamed and shunned, but I think their love shone through it all.
This is the part where I try not to get emotional. Jedi are not supposed to be emotional.
Ah, damn it.
I knew that they loved me. Padme Amidala loved me as a mother should in the short time I got to have with her. She wished the best for me and Leia, for her children to thrive in a world where there was no mercy. Anakin Skywalker loved me, even though he did not meet me until his death.
As I looked into his eyes at his death, I could see remorse. Lost time was all I could think about, taking him far away from what he had been for 20 long years. But it was not meant to be. Vader was to be dead, and Anakin Skywalker was to be free. But he loved me. And that one moment with him is something I will keep with me forever.
The legacy of my mother is passed down through her echoed words and speeches. Leia carries her voice, her shared ideas over her principles and morals. If someone’s kindness is felt well over time, then their time in this galaxy was something to behold. Tears in eyes, many could remember what kind of person Padme Amidala was. She was my mother, through and through, looking at me beyond this mortal plane, her presence is still felt.
In love, and loved.
Those were my parents. And that is how I choose to remember them.
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[A/N] obviously I was on TikTok watching the vids of the Anakin actor at Star Wars Nite staring longingly at Padme and the multiple cosplayers (my soul was wounded that I could not be there). This was made on a whim, so I may or may not have done my research lol. I hope y’all enjoyed! <3
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