“But I don’t hate men!”
If there is any poignantly annoying indication of the necessity of feminism, it is the impulse of feminist-identifying women everywhere to declare that they don’t hate men. We have all had this conversation multiple times. So many times, in fact, that it seems to be one of the main conversations we have about feminism – and it isn’t even a feminist issue. To call yourself a feminist has become so distorted that the immediate conclusion drawn is that you are anti-men.
It is the new “F” word.
Let’s face it – feminism has been poorly branded. And we are not helping when we allow conversations about important feminist issues to be drowned out in a sea of defensive rhetoric. “Instead of saying, “We are dying, we are being beaten, we are being raped, we are not free”, we are saying, “No, no. We don’t hate men; we swear”. It is a tactic of the oppressor to force harmful definitions onto subversive movements. It derails by forcing activists onto the defensive”. Even further, it prevents people from openly identifying as feminists or even taking the time to find out what that actually means. It needs to stop.
I refuse to have this discussion anymore. I will not entertain reductionist arguments about why feminism is bad. It is not my job to convince anyone that feminism isn’t about hating men. I know that it isn’t, other feminists know that it isn’t, and anyone who cares to take the time to educate themselves on feminism and feminist issues will quickly discover this as well. I encourage everyone else to do the same. Don’t allow important discussions to be derailed with nonsense about what feminism is not. Drown out the ignorance with what feminism is.
