Ok so here we go I guess… aka big rant and dumpster fire life update
As you guys may have noticed, I’ve disappeared from here for a while, except for a couple hellos here and there. The last few months have been pretty hard if I’m being honest. Between exams and family issues. And… basically I now find myself with absolutely no income. I could go into a very long rant about how this wasn’t what I expected to happen and how much I hate society and how much I really hate having to post this but I think this post will be long as it is…
Long story made slightly shorter: my ex is still a shitty person and has not given me child support since august and who knows when/if he plans on ever giving it ever again. That’s basically a 900€ hole in my account that I’ve been trying to make up for by using my small savings to get by with the income I had during my course (I was earning about half the minimum wage here for a full time course so not a lot but I’m used to being on a tight budget).
The course is now over so I’m not getting any more money from that, I have no job yet, no more money saved and no money coming from the unemployment place that was supposed to give me a minimum allowance to survive for the time between the course and the future job income… and I just don’t know how I’m going to pay my bills, buy food for me and my kid. I don’t know anything. My rent payment went through a couple of days ago and my bank account is so in the red it’s scary. Especially knowing that I have no way to make it better. I have all my bills in monthly transfers so I have no way of controlling that, it’s just money going out until my bank finally decides to block my account because I keep going under my overdraft limit. And I really really wish to avoid getting to that point but I just don’t see how to avoid it with how things are going.
I mean, at least it’s not anything medical or life threatening, I know people have it worse than having no money. But being in financial crisis and not knowing how or when i’m going to be able to make things better… well, i didn’t expect that since I took the course to move toward a better life, not a worse one.
All that rambling to say that I’m putting my pride aside and posting this in the off chance that maybe anyone feels like donating to help, that would be really really appreciated. So if you ever appreciated the stories I’ve written, the gifs I made, or all the events I organized over the years, maybe you’ll consider helping out if you can. I mean, now would be the perfect time to save my sorry ass.
I have no real clue how to do this. I don’t have venmo since it’s not available where I’m from. I do have my Kofi account which seems like the simplest available option? I don’t know about fees though, fees are my enemy because I’m at a point where every cent is very much welcome and needed, I’m just clueless.
I hate that I don’t really have anything to offer in return. I don’t know if I can offer to take prompts for ficlets or photoshop and actually have the focus and energy to follow through any of that because I’m pretty burnt out from the course/internship/exams and now this, I never feel creative when I’m exhausted and worried so I don’t want to make promises I can’t keep.
Sooo if you’re still reading after all of that, thank you, it makes me feel a little less alone. Obviously I know that most people are also in financial need and my problems aren’t extraordinary so I don’t really expect a thousand dollar miracle donation that would solve all my worries. But at least I got it off my chest and that’s already something…
Reblogging to add that I’ve come to learn that PayPal has a family feature to avoid fees! No idea how it works but it’s there so I can give my address in private in case anyone wants to help out.
I’ve received a couple of asks about the winter event, so I’ll just reblog my personal post here and add that I’m very sorry to say that as of right now I am not in the mental headspace to give the time and energy needed to deal with the organisation of events.
I’m sorry this year has been a mess in terms of events, but I do love the sterek fandom dearly and I hope and know that you guys will continue creating and keeping the sterek love alive even decades after the show.
I’m not leaving for real, sterek is always where I mentally come home to when I’m better but I’m just taking a backseat for now.
Sorry again ❤️
