ミ☆ synopsis: who thought it was a good idea to be in a band with your sworn enemy? that’s right. absolutely no one.
ミ☆ pairings: seokmin x female reader
☾ you were beautiful ❀⋆ˊˎ-
ミ☆ genre: social media au, strangers to lovers, humor, fluff, a bit of angst
ミ☆ synopsis: a modernized cinderella au
ミ☆ pairings: joshua hong x female reader
☾ fated by the stars (collab with @sunlightwoo) ❀
ミ☆ genre: soulmate!au, angst, humor, fluff
ミ☆ synopsis: with the soulmate system implemented, all that you wanted was someone that you could love naturally, without having to be bonded to a complete stranger that you’d meet inevitably. however, fate works its wonders in the collection of stars that you managed to end up with two soulmates, not knowing who you truly heard the bells for.
ミ☆ pairings: female reader x joshua / female reader x jeonghan
☾ remember us ❀
ミ☆ genre: slice of life!au, angst, fluff, humor
ミ☆ synopsis: it’s been four years since you last saw jun, and you made it a mission to block out all your memories with him. it worked, until you ran into him on your first day at university, finding out that he’s one of the four most sought after bachelors on campus.
ミ☆ pairings: junhui x female reader
☾ to my youth ⋆ˊˎ-
ミ☆ genre: slice of life!au, fluff, humor, angst
ミ☆ synopsis: in a world where everyone finds out who loves them within a 10 meter radius through the app love alarm, confessing your feelings without the use of the app is no longer considered normal. however, you refuse to download it in hopes that you’ll be able to fall in love without being dependent on love alarm.
ミ☆ pairings: wonwoo x female reader
☾ keeping up with seventeen
ミ☆ genre: reality tv!au, humor, fluff
ミ☆ synopsis: thirteen chaotic men given their own reality tv show? more common than you'd think!
ミ☆ pairings: an ot13 series, no pairings !
☾ from winter to spring (collab w/ @sunlightwoo)
ミ☆ genre: time travel!au, semi-college!au, angst, some fluff, some humor
ミ☆ synopsis: ‘all good things come with a cost.’ mingyu was warned from the beginning of your marriage as it somehow led to your divorce. so at the cost of him divorcing you, what did it mean for him if he found himself going back in time to see your life without him?
ミ☆ pairings: mingyu x female reader / wonwoo x female reader
ミ☆ synopsis: you’ve waited a millennium as a grim reaper to take revenge on soonyoung, then came the day where he had finally reincarnated. with revenge on your mind, you don’t realize that him receiving a second chance at life might have you questioning your own promise.
ミ☆ pairings: soonyoung x gender neutral reader
★ SEUNGCHEOL
☾ the truth untold ⋆ˊˎ-
ミ☆ genre: highschool au!, hidden relationship, humor, fluff
ミ☆ synopsis: you’re the smartest person in your grade, and choi seungcheol is the track star of the school that everyone has an infatuation with.
☾ hurt road
ミ☆ genre: breakup! angst, bit of fluff
ミ☆ synopsis: in which your boyfriend of three years breaks up with you, and the memories begin to resurface.
☾ neither interested nor afraid requested ! ❀
ミ☆ genre: badboy!seungcheol, fluff, humor
ミ☆ synopsis: in which your bad boy boyfriend is jealous of anime characters and likes to enter your house through your bedroom window rather than use the front door like a normal person.
☾ nobody knows
ミ☆ genre: mafia!au, assassin!seungcheol, suspense, humor, fluff, some angst
ミ☆ synopsis: in which seungcheol is ordered to kill you, the secret daughter of his boss’s rival.
★ JEONGHAN
☾ two missions
ミ☆ genre: humor, fluff(ish), suspense (blink and you’ll miss it), undercover agents jeonghan + y/n
ミ☆ synopsis: in which you and jeonghan go on an undercover mission to a gala.
☾ two missions [REMAKE]
ミ☆ genre: in which you and jeonghan go on an undercover mission to a gala to get info on one of south korea’s largest drug cartels.
ミ☆ synopsis: undercover agents!jeonghan and reader, previous assassins!jeonghan and reader, humor, some fluff, some suspense
☾ lavender ❀
ミ☆ genre: angst, fluff, happy ending!
ミ☆ synopsis: it was a cold winter the year you met jeonghan. now he’s all you think about when it snows.
☾ daisies ❀⋆ˊˎ-
ミ☆ genre: angst, some fluff, some spice
ミ☆ synopsis: the best type of revenge is to hurt the person that means the most to them. aka, in which jeonghan is in charge of making you fall in love with him, just to break your heart.
☾ kiss later ⋆ˊˎ-
ミ☆ genre: enemies to lovers!au, humor, fluff, slight spice
ミ☆ synopsis: by you putting jeonghan into a chokehold over him taking your banana milk, you and him were assigned to clean the classroom for two hours after classes ended. it doesn’t help that jeonghan is your sworn enemy, now does it?
☾ euphoria ⋆ˊˎ-
ミ☆ genre: best friends to lovers!au, slice of life, fluff, some humor
ミ☆ synopsis: in which you fail to greet your best friend happy birthday right at the stroke of midnight.
☾ pacman ❀⋆ˊˎ-
ミ☆ genre: best friends / to strangers / to lovers!au, angst, fluff, some humor
ミ☆ synopsis: being best friends, you and jeonghan know all there is to the disastrous effects of developing feelings for each other. that’s why you both make a sleep-deprived promise at 5 am to never fall in love with the other. however, jeonghan begins to question everything when he tasks himself with making you and the new transfer become a couple.
☾ between the fading moonlight [ jeonghan’s backstory in: i will go to you like the first snow ]
ミ☆ genre: royalty!au, strangers to lovers!au, royal!reader, thief!jeonghan, angst, some fluff, some humor
ミ☆ synopsis: you never intended to find love. arranged to marry your childhood friend, there were one too many words left unsaid to the person you truly loved. if only you weren’t from two different worlds.
☾ to live again ❀⋆ˊˎ-
ミ☆ genre: time travel!au, childhood friends to lovers!au, slow burn, angst, some fluff, some humor
ミ☆ synopsis: it’s been years since your last milestone birthday; a time when everything still felt right in the world with youth and ambition. now that you’re older and times have changed, would you dare take a chance to save someone else in the past at the cost of your own future?
☾ dear dream [ sequel of : to live again ]
ミ☆ genre: established relationship!au, fluff, some humor
ミ☆ synopsis: jeonghan never would’ve imagined that he’d get to where he was today, especially with you and his friends by his side. with this next milestone in his life, you vowed to yourself to throw him the best birthday party ever. however, you weren’t even sure where to start; what did he even want to wish for this year?
★ JOSHUA
☾ when you love someone ❀⋆ˊˎ-
ミ☆ genre: soulmate!au, best friends, fluff, angst, humor
ミ☆ synopsis: at the age of eighteen, the name of your soulmate appears on your wrist. good thing you and joshua have the same birthday, right?
☾ winning team requested !
ミ☆ genre: fluff, humor
ミ☆ synopsis: in which you and joshua singlehandedly carry your team on your back for capture the flag. oh yeah, the boys also don’t know that you two are dating.
☾ pinky promise ⋆ˊˎ-
ミ☆ genre: spiderman!joshua, action, fluff, humor
ミ☆ synopsis: who knew that your crush of two years also happens to be your friendly neighborhood spiderman? not you! and who thought that you’d find out he’s spiderman through you two being paired for a group project? absolutely neither of you.
☾ swindled ❀
ミ☆ genre: poker!au, gambler!au, fluff, humor
ミ☆ synopsis: you’ve discovered you have a knack for the game of poker, and you’ve earned the title of femme fatale at the casino you go to. when you hear of another casino in gangnam where the stakes are higher, you obviously go. however, you have to watch out for the guy who has earned the title of, swindler.
☾ third of december
ミ☆ genre: slice of life!au, uni!au, fluff, some humor
ミ☆ synopsis: i still remember, third of december. me in your sweater, you said it looked better on me than it did you. OR: in which joshua gives you his sweater on the first snowfall of the year.
☾ in a span of three months ❀⋆ˊˎ-
ミ☆ genre: strangers to lovers!au, terminally ill!reader, angst, fluff, some humor
ミ☆ synopsis: in which you teach joshua how to live.
☾ wildest dreams ⋆ˊˎ-
ミ☆ genre: best friends to lovers!au, fake dating!au (kinda), fluff, humor
ミ☆ synopsis: it’s your last year of school forever, and you’re about to meet the most horrifying chapter of life: the real world. now worrying about your life’s lack of spontaneity, you decide to get married to your best friend in vegas for 24 hours.
★ JUNHUI
☾ always you
ミ☆ genre: light angst, some humor, some fluff
ミ☆ synopsis: there’s one rule when it comes to friends with benefits, don’t catch feelings. however, you and your best friend jun were never that good at listening, now were you?
☾ 3:28 am requested !
ミ☆ genre: angst, fluff
ミ☆ synopsis: in which junhui is a failing musician and just wants what’s best for you.
☾ stay with me requested !
ミ☆ genre: alternate universes, fluff, humor
ミ☆ synopsis: in which you open your front door to reveal your favorite manga character who wants to change the ending to your story.
☾ can’t help falling in love requested! ❀
ミ☆ genre: first confessions, fluff, humor
ミ☆ synopsis: jun’s parents got a divorce over a year ago and his mom is getting married again. you notice that he’s nervous at the reception, so in an attempt to calm him down, you ask him for a dance.
☾ despite everything, it’s still you
ミ☆ genre: best friends to lovers!au, angst, some fluff, some humor
ミ☆ synopsis: in which you only have eyes for your best friend, but he sees everyone else.
☾ close as strangers
ミ☆ genre: spiderman!jun, strangers to lovers!au (kinda?), angst, some humor, some fluff
ミ☆ synopsis: in a world where everyone forgot who wen junhui is—you remembered. [ based on spiderman: no way home ]
★ SOONYOUNG
☾ prom dress
ミ☆ genre: humor, fluff
ミ☆ synopsis: in which your dates ditch you both at prom.
☾ the time for us requested!
ミ☆ genre: primarily angst, fluff
ミ☆ synopsis: in which you and soonyoung broke up six months ago and you run into each other at the club.
☾ cotton candy
ミ☆ genre: first confessions, fluff, humor
ミ☆ synopsis: in which you and soonyoung go to an amusement park just to eat the food.
☾ how to flirt ❀⋆ˊˎ-
ミ☆ genre: best friends!au, humor, fluff, hint of angst
ミ☆ synopsis: in which you teach your best friend how to flirt, but all soonyoung knows is gross pick up lines.
☾ stranger ❀
ミ☆ genre: breakup!au, post breakup!au, angst, brief fluff
ミ☆ synopsis: with just one word, you can forget all the memories you have with someone.
☾ to your heart’s content
ミ☆ genre: trainee!soonyoung, trainee!reader, first meetings!au, fluff, brief angst
ミ☆ synopsis: in which you end up meeting soonyoung up on the rooftop after a rough day.
ミ☆ synopsis: in which you decide to tell your old high school bully that your roommate you’ve been pining after for the past eight months is your boyfriend.
ミ☆ synopsis: you and wonwoo are the best assassins in south korea. what will you do when you’re hired to kill him?
☾ and they were newlyweds requested !
ミ☆ genre: newlyweds! just pure fluff, a bit of humor
ミ☆ synopsis: in which wonwoo builds the ikea couch, but something... doesn’t look right.
☾ bookworm ⋆ˊˎ-
ミ☆ genre: high school!au, jock!au, humor, fluff
ミ☆ synopsis: who knew that the cute guy you met at the library is one of the best players on the football team? literally everyone but you.
☾ in the spring ❀
ミ☆ genre: angst, some fluff, some humor
ミ☆ synopsis: in which you suffer from a car accident and have amnesia when you wake up. wonwoo is your current boyfriend, but you keep remembering your ex. [inspired by the numerous tiktoks i saw with this prompt]
☾ love in the rain ⋆ˊˎ-
ミ☆ genre: crush!au, fluff, humor
ミ☆ synopsis: you’re acquaintances of a sort through mutual friends, but have never really spoken. when you suddenly get caught in the rain, who’s to say things won’t happen when he offers to walk you home with his umbrella?
☾ wanna be yours
ミ☆ genre: childhood friends to strangers to loversish!au, uni!au, angst, some fluff, some humor
ミ☆ synopsis: you thought that growing up as best friends meant you’d stick together for as long as you could. you never thought of that exact chance for you and wonwoo until entering university, where you were nothing but his driver when he was out partying for too long. so why do you still pick up the phone when he calls you if he’s the one who left first?
★ JIHOON
☾ three times a charm ⋆ˊˎ-
ミ☆ genre: fluff, humor, first confessions!
ミ☆ synopsis: in which it takes three attempts for jihoon to finally tell you he loves you.
☾ beautiful feeling ❀⋆ˊˎ-
ミ☆ genre: soulmate!au, fluff, humor
ミ☆ synopsis: in which jihoon doesn’t believe in soulmates until he hears the bells himself one fateful day.
☾ tastes like cola
ミ☆ genre: fake dating!au, humor, fluff
ミ☆ synopsis: in which you force jihoon to be your fake boyfriend in order to finally beat your cousin at something.
☾ what kind of future ❀
ミ☆ genre: post breakup!au, angst, some fluff, some humor
ミ☆ synopsis: what kind of future is to come before us? even if the heavens don’t give us an answer. until the end, i’m too stupid. so i don’t know the answer.
☾ catch me
ミ☆ genre: best friends to strangers to lovers!au (kinda?), spiderman!woozi, action, angst, some suspense, some fluff, some humor
ミ☆ synopsis: jihoon didn’t want any weaknesses, he couldn’t afford to have any. that’s why he ended your guys friendship. he couldn’t risk your life because of how dangerous his lifestyle is, but everything seems to crumble the moment he saves you for the first time.
★ SEOKMIN
☾ somewhere only we know ❀
ミ☆ genre: humor, fluff, hidden feelings
ミ☆ synopsis: in which you and seokmin go to your hidden spot. laying under the night sky, you both catch sight of a shooting star.
☾ areum ⋆ˊˎ-
ミ☆ genre: first meetings!, artist!reader, pure fluff
ミ☆ synopsis: in which you’re trying to draw out a scene in the park, but end up meeting a lost, gorgeous, dog. who just so happens to have a cute owner with a beautiful smile to match.
☾ when the stars align ❀
ミ☆ genre: reincarnation!au, soulmate!au (?), angst, fluff, some humor
ミ☆ synopsis: four different seasons, four different lives, and you meet seokmin in each and every one.
☾ one spring rain
ミ☆ genre: childhood friends to lovers!au, slow burn, humor, angst, some fluff
ミ☆ synopsis: the rain had its ways of bringing you to him, whether you needed a shoulder to cry on or just to be your friend. you two were as inseparable as the clouds that were constantly looming in the sky for every downpour; years of knowing one another from the inside out, bests and worsts. you knew that college was inevitably going to be the years where things were going to be different, but you didn’t think that your relationship with him would be amongst those changes.
★ MINGYU
☾ the less i know the better
ミ☆ genre: humor, some fluff
ミ☆ synopsis: in which you perform a demon summoning ritual as a joke not really in an attempt to get a boyfriend.
☾ kiss, kiss, fall in love!
ミ☆ genre: humor, fluff
ミ☆ synopsis: in which you and mingyu have been dating for a month but still haven’t kissed.
☾ made their way home ❀⋆ˊˎ-
ミ☆ genre: post breakup!au, angst, fluff, humor
ミ☆ synopsis: in which you haven’t seen each other in three years and reunite at jeonghan’s birthday party.
☾ the bakery
ミ☆ genre: stripper!yn, suggestive, fluff
ミ☆ synopsis: in which minghao and seokmin take mingyu to a strip club to celebrate his 22nd birthday, but why are they standing in front of a bakery?
☾ love and warmth ❀⋆ˊˎ-
ミ☆ genre: fake relationship!au, editor-in-chief!reader, assistant!mingyu, humor, fluff, some angst
ミ☆ synopsis: in which you blackmail your employee, mingyu, to marry you in order not to get deported back to canada due to your expired visa. [inspired by the proposal]
☾ baby, all i really want is your attention requested ! ⋆ˊˎ-
ミ☆ genre: enemies to lovers!au, high school!au, studious!reader, bad boy!mingyu, humor, fluff
ミ☆ synopsis: you and mingyu have been academic rivals since the beginning of your high school career. having always aimed for the #1 spot, mingyu would beat you without even needing to study. now dedicating all your time into studying at the local library, you find yourself wondering who keeps neatly packing your things and waking you up each time you fall asleep while studying.
★ MINGHAO
☾ lowkey ⋆ˊˎ-
ミ☆ genre: mainly just humor, some fluff, y/n is a dummy, minghao is a softy
ミ☆ synopsis: in which you’ve been pining after your fellow dance member, xu minghao, and he helps teach you the choreo one night.
☾ underneath the cherry blossom trees ❀
ミ☆ genre: pure rotten fluff
ミ☆ synopsis: in which minghao proposes to you underneath the cherry blossom trees.
☾ since we were eighteen
ミ☆ genre: kinda angsty, some fluff
ミ☆ synopsis: in which you break up with your boyfriend to confess to your best friend, but he brings another girl to the party.
☾ first snowfall
ミ☆ genre: best friends to lovers!au, pure fluff, some humor
ミ☆ synopsis: if you’re out in the first snowfall of the season with someone you like, true love will blossom between you.
☾ better with you day 29 of a tct summer collection !
ミ☆ genre: summer fair!au, best friends to lovers, fluff, humor
ミ☆ synopsis: in which you only agreed to go to the fair if they didn’t force you to go on any scary rides, but jun knows minghao can change your mind.
ミ☆ synopsis: in which jun and jeonghan pick out a book titled, Second Life, and find a message written to someone on the title page. it’s only then that they learn the untold story of two lovers who met at a library 35 years ago.
☾ all for love requested !
ミ☆ genre: hanahaki!au, angst, some fluff, some humor
ミ☆ synopsis: when you cough up the petals, you’re left with two choices. undergo the surgery where you’ll lose the love you have for the person that caused the disease, or tragically die with your love unrequited.
☾ war of hearts ❀
ミ☆ genre: mafia!au (kinda?), strangers to lovers!au, angst, some humor, some fluff
ミ☆ synopsis: you had one mission: find out who had been the cause of your father’s downfall. after a year of finding him, however, is when things get complicated. because how were you supposed to know that his son was someone that you got acquainted to very easily? (based on the kdrama: my name)
★ SEUNGKWAN
☾ macarons ❀
ミ☆ genre: fluff, some humor
ミ☆ synposis: seungkwan just wants to try the macarons at the popup shop in the mall, what he ends up getting is a new crush and a blue penguin from the claw machine.
☾ liquid courage ⋆ˊˎ-
ミ☆ genre: drunk confessions! fluff, humor
ミ☆ synopsis: in which you get drunk to muster up the courage to confess to seungkwan.
☾ pretty u
ミ☆ genre: lifeguard!reader, humor, fluff
ミ☆ synopsis: in which vernon and chan come up with the brilliant idea to drown seungkwan in the wave pool to get your attention.
☾ i wanna know you
ミ☆ genre: strangers(?) to kinda lovers!au, unrequited love!au (in hs!), coach!seungkwan, teacher!reader, humor, fluff, some angst
ミ☆ synopsis: everyone has a dream. to seungkwan, volleyball had been everything to him, and almost everyone in high school knew that—especially you. so why was it so strange to see him years later working towards anything but that?
★ VERNON
☾ there for you ⋆ˊˎ-
ミ☆ genre: humor, fluff, smol angst, best friends to lovers
ミ☆ synopsis: in which you can’t admit you’re in love with your best friend, vernon, so joshua takes matters into his own hands.
☾ what was once beautiful ❀
ミ☆ genre: angst, a bit of fluff
ミ☆ synopsis: in which you helped vernon become sober, but now you’re broken up.
☾ prove it ❀⋆ˊˎ-
ミ☆ genre: slice of life!au, fuckboy!vernon, humor, fluff
ミ☆ synopsis: in which the university fuckboy does whatever it takes to prove that he genuinely has feelings for you.
☾ they were pretty
ミ☆ genre: soulmate!au, fluff, some humor
ミ☆ synopsis: the moment you lock eyes with your soulmate is when the world will become bright and colorful, but it’s only when the two of you hold eye contact.
☾ say you love me (i love you) ⋆ˊˎ-
ミ☆ genre: best friends to lovers!au, slow burn(ish), fluff, humor
ミ☆ synopsis: three heavy words. you’re so used to saying this to the one person that’s always been by your side, because you know that he’s your other half; platonically. these words have always held some sort of meaning whenever you say it to vernon, in hopes that maybe one day he’ll say it back to you.
★ CHAN
☾ see you again ❀
ミ☆ genre: fluff, first meetings, bus ride tings!
ミ☆ synopsis: in which you fall asleep on the shoulder of a guy you hardly know but think is rather attractive .
☾ chocolate hearts ❀
ミ☆ genre: highschool!au, fluff, humor
ミ☆ synopsis: in which chan confesses to you on valentine’s day.
☾ cafe chuu requested ! ❀⋆ˊˎ-
ミ☆ genre: barista!chan, fluff, humor
ミ☆ synopsis: in which chan works at a cafe and you come in everyday asking for him to make you a surprise drink.
☾ the best surprise
ミ☆ genre: established relationship!au, fluff, humor
ミ☆ synopsis: you and chan have been together for the last four years, and he has failed to surprise you on your birthday for each and every one.
☾ memories that resemble you
ミ☆ genre: strangers to lovers!au, angst, some fluff, some humor
ミ☆ synopsis: the people that you’ve met are meant to be there in your life, on most occasions. however, the person that you’ve set up your whole life with is one where you know they’re irreplaceable. with every flashback that you may encounter comes hope for the upcoming future, and that was the reason why you were always looking forward to meeting him.
omg plEASEE thank you for your support <333 i’m a bastard who’s undergoing my tenth wave of writers block i fear… so we will see when i’m able to write a story again… LMAO
okay as a way to procrastinate working on my finals i finally decided to make a top 10 list of my fave fics... but remember that top 3 is lowkey interchangeable depending on when you ask me >:D
i based this tier list off of the fics i'm most proud of and the fics i still find myself enjoying now kekeke... tier list under the cut!
to live again
what can i say... i worked hard on this one. i think the message is super important, and it took me a long time to write :p
2. i will go to you like the first snow
i do wish this got more reception because i am so proud of this series. i poured a lot of effort into it, and i overall just worked really hard.
3. in a span of three months
the message to this was important, and it's also one of my first super long oneshots that i posted so it's dear to my heart.
4. pacman
this was angsty and i enjoyed writing it... think i wrote most of it in the depths of the night...
5. daisies
what can i say... i like to write angst about jeonghan. however! this was one of my first angsty fics and i still hold it dear to me.
6. war of hearts
i really liked this one! i had just finished watching my name and was super inspired, and i ended up being more proud of this fic as time has gone by.
7. all good boys
eric sohn. catboy. ex childhood friends to fake lovers to real lovers!!! i eat that shit up for bfast lunch and DINNER!!!
8. say you love me (i love you)
this was based off how my bf and i started dating! i think this is one of the fics where i was able to capture one of the member's pretty well, so i really enjoyed writing it! i sometimes reread it while kicking my feet forgetting that i wrote it LMAO
9. wildest dreams
this was a quick story to write, but i ended up really liking it! i think it's sweet and silly, and though it deserved a spot on the list LOL
10. to my youth
this. this series. i hated it at first no lie, but as time has went by, i'm no longer as hard on myself over it. it's silly, funny, and has a pretty good message! it deserves a spot on this list for sure, especially since everyone really liked this series :)
OMG HIIIIIIIIII ARE YOU BAAAAACK???? LIKE BACK BAAAACK?
HIIIIIII !!!! TBH … I DONT KNOW LMAO
to be transparent, that seungkwan fic i released took me like a year or two to finally finish JGDJDHS i wrote a majority of it within two days when a random urge to write hit me (which i haven’t had in two years 🥸)
ihave like three other fics drafted but not finished cause i haven’t had the urge to write since then… and when i do try… i can only manage a sentence before closing the doc…
so frankly i’m cooked. i’m also about to start finals week in grad school so i’m extra doomed… but we’ll see :,))
ミ★ synopsis: everyone has a dream. to seungkwan, volleyball had been everything to him, and almost everyone in high school knew that—especially you. so why was it so strange to see him years later working towards anything but that?
ミ★ genre: strangers(?) to kinda lovers!au, unrequited love!au (in hs!), coach!seungkwan, teacher!reader, humor, fluff, some angst
ミ★ warnings: sexual innuendos (very brief), so much cursing (i’m sorry), one kms joke (from beomgyu)
ミ★ word count: 18,653 (i need to be put down)
ミ★ pairings: seungkwan x gender neutral reader
ミ★ notes: heyyyy… it’s been a very long time. i know. i’m so sorry. i’m going straight to hell, i know. tldr - i graduated undergrad in 2023, got a full-time job 2023-2024, and then i started my first year of grad school in sept. of 2024!! wow!!! this fic has been in the works since like… end of 2023 prolly… i suddenly got a burst of wanting to write so that’s how i finally was able to finish this fic ?? crazy. anyways, i hope you guys will enjoy this fic that took me actual years to finish <3 please give seungkwan lots and lots of love :3
ミ★ synopsis: everyone has a dream. to seungkwan, volleyball had been everything to him, and almost everyone in high school knew that—especially you. so why was it so strange to see him years later working towards anything but that?
ミ★ genre: strangers(?) to kinda lovers!au, unrequited love!au (in hs!), coach!seungkwan, teacher!reader, humor, fluff, some angst
ミ★ warnings: sexual innuendos (very brief), so much cursing (i'm sorry), one kms joke (from beomgyu)
ミ★ word count: 18,653 (i need to be put down)
ミ★ pairings: seungkwan x gender neutral reader
ミ★ notes: heyyyy... it's been a very long time. i know. i'm so sorry. i'm going straight to hell, i know. tldr - i graduated undergrad in 2023, got a full-time job 2023-2024, and then i started my first year of grad school in sept. of 2024!! wow!!! this fic has been in the works since like... end of 2023 prolly... i suddenly got a burst of wanting to write so that's how i finally was able to finish this fic ?? crazy. anyways, i hope you guys will enjoy this fic that took me actual years to finish <3 please give seungkwan lots and lots of love :3
You tiredly stumble into the convenience store, having just finished your last eight hour shift at the school before spring break. Typically, you would’ve gone straight home after work, but you had a craving.
A craving that could only be fulfilled at the convenience store.
You walk straight to the ramen aisle and grab the shin ramyun off the shelf, before heading to the freezer to grab a cup of ice and a bag of tea. A little smile forms on your face at the image of you eating your favorite ramen in a few minutes, and you hurry to the cash register to speed up the process.
Placing the cup of ramen onto the counter and the drink you got, you glance down at your bag and prepare to pull out your wallet when the cashier speaks.
“That’ll be $8.”
You blink at the familiarity of the voice, and slowly lift your gaze until you lock eyes with a familiar pair.
“Boo Seungkwan?” You murmur in surprise, and the blonde blinks at the sudden mention of his name.
He tilts his head and points at himself, “Me?”
“Well, I’m not Boo Seungkwan.” You respond, to which he bites the inside of his cheek in embarrassment. You tap your card on the reader, hearing the familiar ding that signals your payment went through. You slip your card back into your wallet, feeling your cheeks flood with warmth at the awkward silence that has fallen over the two of you.
Curse my dumbass mouth, you think to yourself.
“Here’s your receipt.” Seungkwan says, holding out the piece of paper with a curious look on his face. You give him a tight smile and bow your head in thanks, taking the receipt from his grasp and turning to practically sprint out of the store.
It’s when you’re about to rest your hand on the handle of the door that his voice rings out from behind you,
“Do you know me from somewhere?”
You shut your eyes tightly, wishing that you could just act like you didn’t hear him. Except you can’t, because you practically froze when he asked you the question. Letting out a breath, you slowly turn to face him with a small, albeit strained smile.
“We were in the same graduating class in high school. You were class president of our class, and the captain of our school’s volleyball team.” You explain, the sound of your heartbeat becoming more apparent at how mortified you are at this interaction. The blonde stares at you for a moment, before his eyes flash in recognition.
“Yn Yln, right? You were always in the Top 3 for exam scores.” Seungkwan says, and your eyes widen at the fact that he even knows your name.
You were always quiet in school, not really stepping out of your comfort zone until your undergraduate years. Your high school graduating class only knew your name because of your high exam scores, but your face? Not so much.
You’re pretty sure everyone only found out what you looked like when your name was called during graduation.
“Yeah, that’s me.” You respond with a smile, and the blonde grins softly. Biting the inside of your cheek, you lift up the unopened shin ramyun, and with a sudden wave of courage you ask, “If you’re able to, do you want to join me outside for late night ramen?”
Seungkwan blinks in surprise at the invitation, glancing at the time to see that he’ll be off shift soon. He looks back up at you and nods his head, “I’ll be off work in 10 minutes.”
You let out a quiet breath of relief and give him a thumbs up, “I’ll prepare my ramen then.”
You sip on your iced tea, staring out at a flickering lamp post down the street as the city life starts to dwindle down. You take note of the different types of people who walk past the convenience store. There are office workers who just got off shift and are walking back home, college students stumbling through the streets after a fun night out, and some younger students who just got out of cram school.
You always wondered which group Seungkwan was part of after graduating high school.
“I got some extra sausage. I feel like you should always pair ramen with some protein.” His voice rings out, startling you from your thoughts.
A smile makes its way onto your face when you see the plate of sausage, looking up when he sits across from you. He lets out a breath, shivering slightly from the brisk night air as he breaks apart his chopsticks.
“Thank you.” You murmur, and the blonde waves his hand at you as if to say, no biggie.
Biting your bottom lip, you break apart your chopsticks and remove the lid of your ramen, practically salivating at the sight of the spicy noodles. The two of you start to dig into your ramen without another word, showing how hungry you both must have been as you each eat in silence.
It’s only when you reach out and take a sausage that you manage to glance at Seungkwan, noticing the dark bags under his eyes. You place the sausage into your mouth, looking back down at your ramen as questions start to arise in your mind.
Where did you go to college? What have you been up to? What are you doing working the night shift at a convenience store?
What happened to your volleyball scholarship?
“Are you a teacher now?” Seungkwan asks suddenly, startling you out of your thoughts once again. You look up from your noodles to see the blonde looking at you with a curious gaze, and you tilt your head at him, “Oh? How’d you know?”
“You’re still wearing your lanyard.” He tells you with a smile, and you look down to see your smiling face looking back at you. You let out an awkward chuckle and take off your lanyard, placing it onto the table. “I work at a private school right now. I’m a first grade teacher.”
“That’s super cool! I bet it’s hard work too.” Seungkwan tells you with a grin, and you nod your head while letting out a whistle. “You can say that again. Sometimes they can all be such little shits and it drives me insane, but I also love them all dearly. Is that crazy? Is this a toxic relationship?”
“I think those are valid feelings to have when working with children.” He says, and you smile softly.
“What about you? What have you been up to since high school?” You ask, and the blonde just shrugs his shoulders as he nonchalantly replies, “Graduated from SNU and now I’m working two jobs in order to pay off the student loan.”
“Oh yeah? What’s your other job?” You ask, not ignoring the fact that he strategically didn’t mention his volleyball scholarship.
“I’m the volleyball coach for our old high school. Our old coach retired after I got into college, so the principal hired me immediately once I graduated.” Seungkwan explains, and you nod your head, now understanding the dark bags under his eyes.
Slurping up a noodle, you ask, “You didn’t want to join the National Volleyball Team after you graduated?”
Seungkwan freezes at the question, and when you don’t hear him respond, you slowly look up to see him staring down at his ramen with a faraway look to his eye.
Oh no. I shouldn’t have asked.
“It… seemed like too much pressure. I thought it’d be better to just be a coach, that way I’m still part of the sport.” Seungkwan says carefully, and you bite the inside of your cheek at his answer.
He’s not telling the full truth.
“That makes sense. Does that mean your school is also starting Spring break?” You ask, choosing to ignore your curiosity as you slurp up the last of your noodles.
The blonde nods his head, halving the last sausage so that you both can have a piece. “Yeah, I was planning to pick up extra shifts from the convenience store so that I can make some extra money.”
You purse your lips when a thought comes to mind. It’s an impulsive thought, if you will. A thought that’s always been like a faraway dream to you since high school, one that’s never been within reach.
Until now.
You suck in a breath in an attempt to gather the courage that took over you earlier.
“I don’t really have any special plans for Spring break. I was thinking of just going with the flow, but do you want to hang out during our week off?” You ask in a quiet voice, already wincing at the thought of incoming rejection from the pretty boy. Silence falls over the two of you, and you’re too scared to look up to see his reaction, so you continue to have a staring contest with your empty cup of ramen.
“Why?” Seungkwan asks softly after a moment, a question you weren’t prepared to answer. Trying to act nonchalant, you shrug your shoulders while turning your attention to the flickering convenience store sign.
Your heart is racing within your chest as you answer truthfully, “I want to get to know you.”
Seungkwan stares at you for a moment, but you continue to avoid eye contact as you stare down at the table. The blonde lets out a breath after a moment, and holds his hand out towards you. Your eyes trail up towards his hand, before finally looking up at his face.
“Let’s exchange numbers.” He says, and you almost exhale a breath of relief. A small grin makes its way onto your face and you nod your head, pulling out your phone and placing it in his hand. You watch quietly as wisps of his blonde hair flow along with the gentle breeze, and you fight the urge to reach out and pat them down into place.
He looks up at you after hearing the notification from his phone, and he hands you back your phone. A small smile escapes you when you see the tangerine emoji in his contact name, “You’re from Jeju, right?”
“Did the tangerine make it obvious?” Seungkwan asks with a grin as he takes a bite of the sausage. You shrug your shoulders with a teasing smile, “Maybe a little bit.”
The two of you chuckle, before continuing to eat your late night meal. The full moon shines down onto you both as you fill each other in on what’s been going on since high school graduation. Quiet laughter and conversation fill the silence on the first night of Spring break, a night that feels like a small beginning, something neither of you expected.
“Boo Seungkwan! You killed it at last night’s game. Are the college scouts coming to the next one?” You glance up from your desk to see a group of boys from the other classroom surrounding the class president. Your eyes linger on the bright smile that graces his face when one of them ruffles his hair fondly, feeling your heart thump against your chest at the sight.
“I think so, there were a couple that came last night too. Yonsei University’s scouts talked to Vernon and Mingyu after the game last night.” Seungkwan tells one of the boys, eliciting a chorus of ohh’s from them.
“Isn’t your goal SNU? When is their scout coming?”
“They’re coming to Friday’s game.”
You turn your gaze away when the boys start excitedly rooting for Seungkwan and asking him how he feels about the upcoming game. Glancing down at your journal, you start to write the date and subject of the upcoming lesson at the top of the page to try and distract yourself from the noise around you.
Your pencil freezes at the top when the sound of Seungkwan’s laugh rings in your ear, and you find yourself stealing a glance at the popular boy once again.
He has a big smile on his face and shrugs his shoulders, trying to act nonchalant as he says, “I’m a bit more nervous since this game means a lot more to me, but I’m excited. I’ve been preparing myself for this moment since I was a kid, so you guys better come to cheer me on, alright?”
He’s glowing, you think to yourself as the guys around him let out a chorus of cheers. The sunlight peeking in through the windows casts a warm glow over his face, making his smile look a little bit brighter than usual. His black hair reflects a pretty shade of brown underneath the sun, complimenting the warmth of his skin.
Feeling the corner of your lips quirk upwards, you turn your head and look out the window of the classroom. Your gaze follows the single white cloud in the bright blue sky, and you close your eyes at the feeling of the sun hitting your skin.
You silently root for Seungkwan, hopeful that he’ll perform well at Friday’s volleyball game.
“Yn.”
You keep your eyes closed, wanting to bask in the warmth from the sun a little bit more.
“Yn.”
You refuse to open your eyes, but there’s a frown on your face now, starting to grow a little bit annoyed at the pestering.
“Yn…”
You’re about to open your mouth to tell the person to fuck off, only for them to cut you off with a loud call of your name,
“YN!”
You gasp awake at the shout, turning with wide eyes towards the source of the sound. You let out a little groan when you see your roommate, Beomgyu, glaring at you from your doorway. You reach out to prepare your pillow, “Why are you waking me up so rudely?”
“Cause you told me last night that if you aren’t out of your room by 10:30, to wake you up as rudely as possible.” Beomgyu responds, amusement present in his voice as he watches you struggle to keep your eyes open now that you’re awake.
“I don’t recall the as rude as possible part of that request.”
“I could’ve been a lot meaner by pouring a bucket of ice water on you, but I chose kindness today.” He says, and you fight back the urge to roll your eyes. Letting out another groan, you roll over, your back towards Beomgyu as you grab your pillow. He squints at you, “No way you’re about to fall back asleep after bitching about me waking you–”
Beomgyu’s cut off by you chucking your pillow, making direct contact with his face. He sputters and falls backwards onto his ass, eliciting a cackle out of you. He sits up in shock, pillow in hands as he stares at you with a look of betrayal on his face.
“You bitch bastard.” He says quietly, and you smile.
“Good morning~” You greet warmly, and his eyes widen. He shakes his head, “You cannot act all sweet and like an angel after chucking your pillow at my face! What if I died?! What if I fell onto my head, broke my neck, and DIED?!”
You sit up in bed and stretch your arms over your head, feeling very refreshed after attacking your roommate with your least favorite pillow. Reaching out towards your bedside dresser, you grab your phone and check your notifications.
seungkwan🍊: what time did you want to meet at the beach?
You practically shoot up out of bed at the text, quickly typing out a response as you step over Beomgyu who is still laying on the floor. The brunette turns his head, eyes following you as you hurry towards the bathroom.
“Are you going on a date?!” He shouts out from the floor, and you shoot him a glare as you squeeze toothpaste out onto your toothbrush.
“Fuck off.”
“Please try to dress nice! Don’t dress like you usually do.” Beomgyu calls out as he finally gets up off the floor. You pause at his words, sticking your head out of the bathroom to squint at him as he starts to go through your closet.
“Now what do you mean by that?” You ask, to which the brunette just steps out holding an outfit he quickly prepared for you.
Beomgyu has your white t-shirt and sage jersey jacket in one hand, and your favorite pair of wide jeans in the other. He gestures with his chin towards your white sneakers by the door, “Wear those with this fit.”
You purse your lips, curse you Beomgyu for your good fashion sense.
“Okay.” You state, not wanting to compliment him on anything after his jab at your current fashion sense. However, the smirk on his face says that he knows exactly what you’re thinking. Biting the inside of your cheek, you point your toothbrush towards him, “Shut the fuck up.”
You shut the bathroom door afterwards, letting out a small smile when you hear his loud laughter through the door.
“You know, for some reason, I was really hoping you’d bring a beach towel.” You say as the two of you sit on the hot sand, staring out at the people swimming in the cold ocean water. Seungkwan turns to you, a small smile playing on his features, “I was hoping you’d bring one too. I usually mooch off my friends for their beach towels when we have a rare beach day.”
“Damn. You’re just like me.” You joke, and the blonde lets out a short chuckle with a shake of his head. He pats the sand beside him, “Now we’re both sitting on this hot sand. Absolutely rawdogging it. Sand getting in crevices where the sun doesn't shine.”
You bark out a loud laugh, making Seungkwan laugh alongside you. That wasn’t something you ever expected to hear him say in your life, particularly the word rawdogging has you doubling over in laughter.
His laughter dies down shortly after, but you’re still giggling to yourself as it keeps replaying in your head. You even wipe away a stray tear that fell down your cheek, and you turn to look over at Seungkwan, just to see him already staring at you with a small smile on his face.
You blink in surprise, letting out a slight cough into your elbow and standing up from the hot sand. You try to brush away all the particles of sand on your legs, and Seungkwan looks up at you with a curious gaze.
“Well, we’re at the beach. Shouldn’t we go and swim?” You ask and point over to the glistening water, a mischievous smile on your face. Seungkwan raises an eyebrow at you, “Neither of us are wearing swimsuits.”
You squint, “You’re wearing shorts, and I’m wearing shorts–”
“We’re both wearing jeans.” The blonde deadpans, but you continue while waving him off.
“That’s basically swim attire to me!” You exclaim, and Seungkwan stares at you like you’ve grown two heads. Without waiting for a response, you bend down to fold your jeans up to your knees, and then make a b-line straight for the ocean.
“Yn? Please be serious!” You hear him call out from behind you, but you ignore him, continuing to head towards the ocean with a look of determination.
Is this crazy? Yes. Is it disrespectful to go into the ocean wearing a pair of wide leg jeans? Absolutely.
Are you going to stop?
…
No. You’ve already gone this far, how could you back out now?
“They’re crazy.” Seungkwan murmurs to himself when he sees you make it to the water, and he stands up in shock when you step into the ocean without hesitation. “Oh my God.”
The blonde bites back a laugh when he hears you let out a squeal from the cold water. He watches as you go further into the water, but not far enough for the tides to reach your folded jeans. He’s about to call out for you to come back, only to feel the words die in his throat when you turn to face him.
The sun is glistening over the ocean, causing the waves to sparkle as they crash ashore. Your hand is raised up to shield your eyes from the bright sun, and there’s wisps of unruly hair blowing all over your face from the wind. The folded part of your jeans are beginning to get wet and you’re struggling to keep your balance, but there’s a big smile on your face as you call out to the blonde.
“Seungkwan! Come join me!”
The blonde blinks, as if pulled from a trance, eyes still fixed on you as you wade deeper into the water. He doesn't move at first—just watches as you try to keep your balance amidst the waves. He takes note of the way your laughter carries over the wind, the way the sun lights up your face despite the strands of hair whipping wildly around it.
For a moment, he doesn’t answer, unsure whether to interrupt the stillness he’s caught in. Then you start waving again, more animated this time, and he shakes his head, no, at you. A small smile tugs at his lips when you let out an exaggerated sigh, before he braces himself, because the cheeky smile on your face tells him that you’re definitely up to something. He wonders what mischievous thought you have stirring up in your head when you suddenly call out:
“Don’t be a pussy!”
Seungkwan’s jaw drops at the vulgarity of your statement.
He can admit that he may be a lot of things! To list a few: loud, slightly sensitive, perhaps even a little bit… silly.
But Seungkwan is not a pussy.
“Hurry up! Live a little!” You shout towards him, and he presses his lips into a thin line. You watch in delight as he starts muttering to himself, bending down to roll up his jeans and slip off his shoes before walking over to you.
“I can’t believe you’re making me go into the water fully clothed.” Seungkwan grumbles when he’s now standing in front of you, arms crossed as the water barely touches his ankles. You tilt your head with a sly smile, “You could’ve said no, you know? You have free will.”
“You called me a pussy! I practically had no choice in the matter.” He whisper-shouts, eliciting a chuckle out of you. Pursing your lips, you reach your hand out for him to grab, and he glances down at it with a frown.
He looks back up at you, “What?”
“Hold my hand. You’re barely in the water, you should at least get the bottom of your jeans wet.” You explain with a wave of your hand, and he shakes his head with a little laugh.
“I’m good staying right here.” The blonde answers as he raises his hands up for emphasis, and a quick exchange with your conscience occurs.
If you reached out and grabbed his hand to pull him deeper into the water with you, he would certainly get mad at you. And it doesn’t help that this is the first time you’ve ever hung out with the guy you may have secretly admired in high school. This would make a spectacularly bad second impression.
However, you’re standing alone in the water, hand still outstretched towards him like a fool as you get openly rejected. Is it embarrassing for you? Perchance. Are you willing to have him get mad at you in order to not be standing alone in the ocean in wide leg jeans?
Absolutely.
Without a second thought, you grab his hand and yank him towards you. He lets out a loud shout of surprise, eyes wide as he trips onto you, causing the both of you to fall into the water.
You jump out of the water with a gasp that quickly turns into a snort when the blonde practically leaps up from under the ocean. He lets out a cough as he pushes his wet hair back, before turning to look at you with a combination of both shock and pure, utter betrayal etched onto his face.
“There is no way you just did that.” Seungkwan states as he coughs out some more water, and you simply shrug your shoulders, trying to fight back the laugh that’s threatening to escape, “I definitely did.”
The blonde blinks, takes a glance down at his soaking wet attire, and cringes slightly at the feeling of his wet jeans. Letting out a breath, he looks back up at you and tilts his head, “Do you regret it?”
You stare at him for a moment, taking in the way the sunlight spills across his face. The leftover water droplets clinging to his skin catch the light like tiny sparkles, and you find a smile making its way onto your face as you shake your head at him.
“No, I don’t believe I do.”
Seungkwan’s eyes bore into your own, and before he can get distracted by your pretty eye-smile, he lets out a sigh and turns away from you. He stretches his hands out and cracks his knuckles, then attempts to crack his neck by tilting his head from side to side.
Your smile falters slightly at the implication of his sequence of actions, “Oh neptune.”
“Oh neptune is right,” Seungkwan states after he finishes warming up, and you’re already starting to put some distance between the two of you when he lets out a maniacal laugh, “You better run bitch.”
You’re laying on the beach towel that you had bought after Seungkwan chased you around in the water for an hour, staring up at the sky that’s starting to get painted with different shades of pink and purple.
After you yanked Seungkwan into the water with you and the blonde attempted to murder you as revenge, you had bought both of your beach towels at the nearest convenience store as an act of apology. Whereas Seungkwan had bought you each ice cream as a sign of a truce, and now the two of you have been sunbathing for the last few hours, allowing the sun to dry up your clothes.
“That cloud looks like a butt.” Seungkwan points out, breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen over the two of you. You follow his pointed finger to find an orange cloud slowly floating away, and your eyes narrow at the sight, before agreeing with the blonde, “That’s an ass if I’ve ever seen one.”
You hear him chuckle at your comment, eliciting a small smile out of you as you turn your head to look at him. However, you’re quickly distracted by the beach volleyball game that’s going on, and you sit up on the towel to watch more carefully.
Your eyes follow the ball as it bounces back and forth over the net, and the corner of your lips tilts upwards when it finally hits the sand, watching as the team that scored a point let out a chorus of shouts. Nudging Seungkwan with your knee, you glance down to find him already looking at the volleyball players as you say, “You should join them.”
The blonde stares at the ongoing volleyball game in silence, and you’re about to repeat yourself when he suddenly turns away to look back up at the sky as he mutters, “No thanks.”
You blink at his answer.
In high school, Boo Seungkwan would never turn down an opportunity to play volleyball. It was almost as if the sport was a need for him—just like food, air, and water. Whenever the chance to play volleyball arose, he was always the first one to join.
And his team was always the one to win.
So now here you are, 8 years later, staring down at Seungkwan in surprise after hearing him turn down a game of beach volleyball.
“Why not? Whichever team you join would win since they’d have you as their teammate.” You say with a small smile, but the blonde just shakes his head, continuing to stare up at the sky with a faraway look to his eyes. A slight frown takes over your features at his indifference, and you press your lips into a thin line as an awkward silence settles over the two of you.
“You seem like a different person.” You murmur after a moment, trying to decipher what emotion is hidden beneath his gaze as he lets out a breath.
Seungkwan doesn’t turn his head to look at you, but he quietly asks, “What kind of person was I before?”
You stare at him, watching the way his eyes trail from side to side as he follows the clouds while you think to yourself.
From the dark eyebags he’s worn each day you’ve seen him, to the slight limp in his step after running with you in the water, and his disinterest in the sport you watched him fall in love with all those years ago.
“Right,” You mutter, turning away from him as you look up at the sky yourself, “I must’ve been mistaken.”
Silence falls over the two of you, and it lingers up until you go your separate ways. There’s a promise to reach out once you each make it home, a promise that is later fulfilled as soon as you enter your apartment. Your phone buzzes shortly after your text is sent, and a small smile graces your features when you glance down at the screen.
seungkwan🍊: good
just made it home too
i’ll see you tomorrow ?
You quickly type out a yes, before making a b-line to the bathroom in order to take a shower. However, as you lather your head with shampoo, your thoughts continue to stay on the faraway look to the blonde’s eyes.
You carry the full trash can towards the garbage, letting out a little grumble as you try not to get anything on your uniform. Making it to the bottom step of the stairwell, you turn the corner, just to let out a squeak and turn back around to hide behind the wall.
Heart pounding, you cautiously peek your head out to make sure your eyes aren't deceiving you. But they aren’t. Your jaw drops when you find Seungkwan standing in front of a girl from another class, her face bright red as she holds out a letter towards him.
“I just wanted to throw out the trash.” You murmur, wondering how you’re supposed to walk past them without getting noticed.
Biting the inside of your cheek, you peek at them again to find the girl’s letter still in her hands, but tears now flooding her eyes as she stares at the boy in front of her.
“I’m sorry,” Seungkwan finally speaks in a soft voice, and you hold back a gasp at the scene unfolding before you, “I don’t think I’ll have time to be in a relationship once we graduate. I’m honored that you like someone like me, but you’ll find someone better.”
You watch as her bottom lip quivers, and you almost feel terrible until she cries: “But I only want you!”
Your jaw drops in horror when she starts bawling, quickly snapping you out of your stalkerish behavior. Seungkwan reaches out to comfort her, and you find that this might be your only chance to sneak past them.
Grabbing the trash can tightly, you quickly start heading towards the garbage and recycling, only to freeze in your tracks when you suddenly hear:
“Yn!”
Your head whips around, watching in both slight horror and awe as Seungkwan jogs over to you.
“He knows my name?” You whisper to yourself in shock. Your eyes stay wide as he suddenly appears in front of you, and before you can even find your voice, he’s already reached out and taken the heavy trash can out of your grasp.
“I almost forgot that it was my turn to do the trash today. You didn’t have to take it out on your own!” Seungkwan lies with a pleading look to his eyes that absolutely does not match the smile he’s forced onto his face. He has an expression that is screaming: Please save me.
The corner of your lips twitches upwards as you attempt to use your best acting skills, taking a step forward to guide him in the direction of the trash can, “It was way too full and everyone was starting to complain. I decided to be a good natured human and take it out since you weren’t in class.”
Seungkwan almost lets out a sigh of relief when he finds that you’re going along with the lie. He chuckles and tries to look apologetic, “I’m sorry. I’ll buy you a treat after to make up for my forgetfulness.”
You let out a soft smile as you turn to look at him. You’d like to say this smile is a part of your act, but you know it’s not true. When the two of you finally make it to the trash can, you sneakily glance back to see if the girl is still there, and feel a bit of relief when you see that she’s gone.
“She’s not there anymore.” You tell Seungkwan after he throws the trash into the bin, and he practically collapses to his knees. He claps his hands together and looks up towards the sky, “God, I may not be religious, but I am asking you to let me finish my senior year without having to reject anyone else like that.”
You giggle at his dramatics, “What a privileged prayer to be making. Do you know how many guys are praying for the exact opposite of what you just asked for?”
Seungkwan snorts at your statement, and he starts leading the way back to your guy's classroom. You grin and follow after him, ignoring the way your heart is thumping in your chest as the two of you walk side by side.
This is the first time you guys have ever talked.
“I feel like it should be common knowledge that I’m only interested in both academics and volleyball. I always feel bad when I have to reject someone’s feelings, especially when they react like that.” Seungkwan explains, and you nod your head in understanding.
You and the class president have been in the same school since middle school, and you’ve watched his skills and passion in volleyball evolve over the years. You’ve admired him from a distance, always rooting for his ventures in the sport.
“That makes sense. It’s also a more stressful time for you since you’re getting scouted now, aren’t you?”
Seungkwan nods his head, letting out a short laugh, “Yeah. It’s around the time players will start getting offers from universities, so I keep frantically checking both the mailbox and my email whenever I can.”
You both pause outside of your classroom’s doors, having not realized you’ve already made it back to class during your conversation. Turning to look at the class president, you see the slight furrow to his eyebrows as he stares at the closed door of your class.
You don’t like seeing him look so anxious.
Biting the inside of your cheek, you nudge Seungkwan’s shoulder. He turns his head to look at you, “I’m not sure how much comfort or reassurance this will offer you, but they would be crazy to not scout you. You’re the best player on our team, and they chose to watch you at our games for a reason.”
Seungkwan stares at you for a moment, and you feel a bit of relief when you see the furrow to his eyebrows slowly melt away.
He eventually gives you a small smile, one that reaches his eyes as he softly says, “Thank you, yn.”
You nod your head, ignoring the warmth to your face as you raise both your fists up and say, “Fighting!”
“Here’s your latte.” You’re snapped out of your daydream once your coffee is placed in front of you, and you look up to give Seungkwan a smile, “Thank you.”
He nods his head and sits across from you, taking a sip of his iced americano and grinning in satisfaction. You find yourself frowning at the sight of the battery acid he’s drinking, “I can’t believe you like iced americanos.”
“Why? Do you like hot americanos instead?” The blonde asks, and you shake your head as you take a sip of your latte, “I don’t like americanos in general. It’s an espresso shot and water. That’s a recipe for me to shit my pants.”
Seungkwan lets out a chuckle, “Says the one who gets a latte. That’s an espresso shot and milk. Aren’t you lactose intolerant?”
You press your lips into a thin line and turn away from him, “I am not answering questions at this time.”
The blonde guffaws at your answer, and you have to bite back a smile to keep up your serious persona. Turning to glance at him, you take another sip of your delicious latte and grimace when he takes a large gulp of his iced americano. You point to it, “You don’t even add at least one sugar? You just get the espresso shot and water?”
“And I’m proud.” He answers with a sly smile, and you shudder in disgust. You set down your coffee to raise both your fists up and go, “Fighting!”
You watch as his eyebrows furrow slightly at your action, tilting his head as he leans back into his seat to look at you. You raise an eyebrow at him, “What?”
“Nothing. I just felt like that wasn’t the first time I heard you say that.” Seungkwan says, still trying to search his memory as he takes a sip of his coffee.
A small smile takes over your features at the distant memory you were just reflecting on, and you shrug your shoulders, “It’s something I say pretty often.”
The blonde stares at you for a moment longer, before nodding his head and seemingly letting go of trying to remember. There’s a loud ring of laughter that echoes through the cafe, and you both turn to find a small group of high schoolers joking around as they try to evenly split a cake slice.
“Can’t believe Spring break is almost over.” You mutter. It’s the fourth day of your guys break, so you only have three more days of freedom before getting back to work as a teacher. Seungkwan nods his head in agreement, letting out a low whistle.
“Tell me about it. I’m not ready. I want to continue sleeping in for another week.” Seungkwan responds with a sigh, and you grin, “What should we do with our last three days of freedom?”
The blonde thinks to himself for a second, before turning back towards you, “I’ve been interested in sourdough these days.”
“Sourdough.” You repeat, having not expected that answer at all.
Seungkwan nods his head, “I’ve been getting a lot of sourdough starter and sourdough videos on my timeline, especially in the middle of the night when I’m doom scrolling. Safe to say that it piqued my interest.”
You snort and lean back into your seat as you take a sip of your latte, “Alright, Shakespeare.”
“What? Is it a crime to use the word pique?”
“It’s a bit silly to hear it in the same sentence as sourdough and doom scrolling.” You say with a giggle, watching as the blonde lets out a smile. He waves a hand at you, “So are you down to bake sourdough?”
You grin and nod your head, “Yeah. Actually, my roommate also fell down the rabbit hole of sourdough starters and sourdough videos, so he made his own sourdough starter.”
“Woah, is it alive?” Seungkwan asks, and you nod again, “Yeah. He named him Soobin for some reason. I think it’s because he discovered that punching and slamming the dough onto the table is good for it, so he named it after his friend.”
“I know a Soobin,” Seungkwan states as he taps his chin, “I don’t think I would punch or chokeslam the Soobin I know, though.”
“Beomgyu and Soobin have a love-hate relationship.” You say, and the blonde’s eyes widen, “Wait. Is your roommate Beomgyu? Like, Choi Beomgyu?”
You nod with a smile, “Yes, why? Do you know him?”
“Yes! I met him through Soobin back in college. Soobin and I were both on SNU’s volleyball team.” Seungkwan explains, and your eyes widen in disbelief.
“Choi Soobin? Tall and cute, but not a sliver of an athletic bone on his body… on SNU’s volleyball team?” You clarify, and Seungkwan tilts his head at you in confusion.
“Soobin’s really good at volleyball.”
“But I’ve never once seen him make a basket when the boys played basketball?”
Seungkwan gives you a deadpan expression, “Volleyball and basketball are two very different sports, yn.”
“Okay, yeah! But how can you be super good at one ball sport, and terrible at another?!”
Seungkwan sips the last of his iced americano and places his glass down onto the table. He reaches out to tap your forehead with his pointer finger, and you swat his hand away with a glare.
“Come on, let’s make sourdough out of Soobin.”
“Bamgyu~ your best friend and perfect roommate is back home.” You call out in a singsong voice, stepping out of your sneakers and putting on your slippers. Seungkwan gently closes your front door and locks it, before slipping out of his own shoes.
“Yn! You’re lucky I just fed Soobin last night. That greedy fucking bastard. You know, this is the type of greed they warned about in the bible—Boo Seungkwan?” Beomgyu rounds the corner and pauses mid-rant when he looks up from the floor to see Seungkwan standing behind you.
He glances between you and the blonde, before he lets out a dramatic gasp, “Oh! Is Boo Seungkwan the one you went on a date with the other–AH!”
You run up in horror and immediately put him into a chokehold, cutting him off from finishing his sentence. The brunette slaps your arm that’s now tightly wrapped around his neck, and you gently lower him to the floor. Seungkwan lets out a small smile, seemingly unphased by your violence as he waves at your struggling roommate.
“Beomgyu! Long time no see!”
“H-Help… help me…” Beomgyu chokes out, gasping for air as you give Seungkwan a big smile from the floor. You nod your head in the direction of the kitchen, “You can go wash your hands in there~”
The blonde gives you a thumbs up and heads over towards the kitchen. You watch until he’s behind the kitchen island, and finally release your roommate from the chokehold. Beomgyu gasps for air, letting out a cough as he clutches onto his neck and puts distance between the two of you. He points at you in horror, “What the fuck?! I almost died—you fucking rat bastard!”
“You’re the one who doesn’t know how to watch your mouth?! I had to do what was best to save myself.” You whisper-shout, and Beomgyu continues to stare at you with wide eyes. He waves his hands around, “You could’ve, I don’t know, told me to shut the fuck up like a normal human being?!”
“Don’t act like you didn’t like it, you freak.” You state as you stand up from the floor. He opens his mouth to argue, but you point at him with an accusatory finger, “I saw your likes on Twitter before they went private. Don’t forget that we used to read the same manga, too.”
You watch as his mouth slowly closes, and he clears his throat. He nods his head, and takes your outstretched hand, allowing you to help him stand back up.
“Noted.” Beomgyu says, and you bite back a chuckle before the two of you head over towards the kitchen. You turn the corner to find Seungkwan staring at Soobin the sourdough starter with a look of awe on his face, and your roommate lets out a smirk.
“I know, pretty sick.”
“Does Soobin know that you named a sourdough starter after him?” Seungkwan asks, and Beomgyu shakes his head, “No, I think he’d kill me if he knew that I beat him in dough form.”
“Ah.” Seungkwan states, and you have to hold in your laughter. You nudge the blonde, “Is there a specific recipe that you were looking at? Or should we just go for it?”
“You guys know that the dough will need to be proofed, right? Seungkwan might need to sleepover and you can finish baking Soobin in the morning.”
Your mouth drops open slightly, having not known the intricate process of baking sourdough. Seungkwan, on the other hand, nods his head, “Yeah, I’ve been watching a lot of videos. I don’t want to intrude by sleeping over, though. I didn’t even bring anything.”
“You can just borrow my clothes. We can all hangout and watch a movie, or something.” Beomgyu says, and you nod your head in agreement, “Yeah, you live pretty far from here. I’d hate for you to have to make that commute.”
The blonde purses his lips, before nodding, “Alright. As long as the two of you are okay with it.”
You and Beomgyu exchange a glance, which leads to you elbowing your roommate in the gut when he knowingly wiggles his eyebrows at you. He lets out a slight grunt, before you both turn back towards Seungkwan and give him a thumbs up.
“Okay, let’s get this bread.”
“Who knew beating the fuck out of Soobin would be such a stress reliever.” You say as you flop down onto the couch, and Beomgyu snaps his fingers in agreement. Seungkwan chuckles, “Maybe we should start saying Soobin the sourdough starter instead of just Soobin. A stranger might think we’re actually assaulting someone.”
You immediately sit up and point at Seungkwan, “I would never beat Soobin up. That’s my princess.”
“What about me?” You glance at your roommate on the floor in front of the couch, who’s cupping his face with his hands and batting his eyelashes at you. You grimace and push his face away, and he lets out a loud whine.
“You don’t love me the way I love you.” Beomgyu grunts, making Seungkwan grin as he sits beside you on the couch. Rolling your eyes, you pick up the remote and start scrolling through Netflix to try and find a movie to watch.
“Woah. They added Interstellar to Netflix?” Your roommate exclaims when he sees the popular movie, and you nod your head in surprise, “I guess so. Should we watch it?”
“Nah, we should watch something funny. I think Interstellar would be too damaging.” Seungkwan adds as he makes himself comfy on the couch. You nod in agreement, scrolling until you find the remote landing on the movie White Chicks. Your eyes fall on the red box beneath the movie poster, reading the words:
Leaving Soon
There’s a shift in the air, and Beomgyu slowly turns his head to look at you, as does Seungkwan. The three of you exchange a glance, and through impeccable team synergy, you all decide to watch the movie White Chicks without having to say a single word.
“I’d say it was a sign from God to watch the movie.” Beomgyu finally speaks once the movie starts, and you let out a snort.
You attempt to make yourself comfortable as the movie goes on. Shifting on the couch, you purse your lips when you take note of the seating situation: Beomgyu is sprawled out on the floor in front of you, and Seungkwan is right beside you—effectively blocking any chance you had of stretching your legs out. With a sigh, you draw your knees to your chest and rest your chin on top of them.
The blonde takes notice of your discomfort shortly after, especially since you kept shifting out the corner of his eye. He leans towards you and whispers, “Are you not comfortable?”
You glance at him just as Beomgyu lets out a loud laugh, and offer a small shrug, “A bit. I just want to stretch my legs, but I’ll live.”
Seungkwan takes a quick look at your surroundings, quickly understanding why you’re stuck in a pretzel stance. Without a word, he rests his feet onto the floor and pats his knees, looking at you expectantly. Your eyes widen at the idea of skinship and you quickly shake your head, no, but the blonde pats his legs a second time.
“Are you sure? I really don’t mind sitting like this.” You whisper, and Seungkwan shrugs his shoulders, “I’d rather you be comfortable than uncomfortable.”
The warmth that floods your chest is immediate. After a moment, you tentatively stretch your legs out and rest them onto his knees, trying very hard not to overthink your position. You try to turn your attention back to the movie, but it’s quite hard to focus when Seungkwan’s hands are lightly patting your shins in a rhythm far too gentle for your nerves.
Beomgyu, that little shit, turns his head to shoot you a smirk after eavesdropping on your whole interaction. You send him a death glare. He blows you a kiss, before turning back towards the movie and letting out a loud laugh. You fight back the urge to reach out and grab a handful of your roommate’s hair, instead taking a deep breath and focusing on the movie again.
You try your best to watch White Chicks like a normal human being after the whole interaction, you really do.
But it’s difficult when all your brain can focus on is the fact that your legs are resting on Seungkwan’s lap—and he’s been gently tapping his fingers on your shins for thirty straight minutes.
It’s only when the infamous fitting room scene comes on and Seungkwan finally stops the gentle patting that you feel yourself able to breathe again. The three of you laugh and joke throughout the rest of the film, and when the movie credits come on, Beomgyu lifts up the remote to return to the home page.
“I forgot how much I love this movie–” Beomgyu starts as he turns to look at you and Seungkwan, only to pause when his eyes land on the guy beside you. Raising an eyebrow at his reaction, you follow his line of sight, only to find Seungkwan fast asleep on the couch.
“Damn. He was laughing just a minute ago.” You murmur, and Beomgyu nods his head. His eyes trail down to find Seungkwan’s hands still resting over your shins, and he takes a moment to take in the sight, before turning to you with a shit-eating grin.
“Shut the fuck up.” You state, and his shit-eating grin turns into an expression of mock offense, “What the fuck? I didn’t even say anything!”
“Your stupid face says enough.”
“I can’t win in this household.” Beomgyu mutters as he stands up from the floor and stretches his arms over his head. You take this moment to slowly remove your legs from Seungkwan’s lap, with Beomgyu helping you transition off the couch.
You let out a breath, crossing your arms as you look at the blonde fast asleep. You tilt your head at the same time the brunette tilts his head towards you, “He didn’t even brush his teeth or change into the pajamas we offered.”
“Should we wake him up?”
“No… let’s just place the pajamas and toothbrush on the coffee table and adjust him on the couch so he’s more comfortable.” You answer, and Beomgyu nods his head in agreement. You walk away to grab the spare toothbrush and clothes, while Beomgyu goes to get the pillows and blankets.
You return with the toothbrush and clothes right as Beomgyu finishes fluffing a pillow and draping a blanket over the couch. Stepping carefully around the coffee table, you crouch down and place a hand gently on Seungkwan’s shoulders, guiding him slowly onto his back.
“I’m surprised he hasn’t woken up during any of this,” you whisper as Beomgyu moves to lift Seungkwan’s legs onto the couch. The brunette handles him with care, cradling each leg as if he’s done this before. For the first time, Seungkwan stirs—his brows knitting together as his body shifts on the cushions.
You watch closely as his legs move slightly into what looks like a more comfortable position, though the frown on his face remains. Biting the inside of your cheek, you tentatively reach out and carefully rub the crease between his brows until his expression eventually relaxes.
Beomgyu lets out a low whistle, “I tried to be careful with his leg, but I guess not careful enough.”
You pause mid-motion, blinking, “His leg?”
Beomgyu glances at you, nodding as if you’d just asked whether the sky was blue. He takes the blanket and places it over Seungkwan, then steps back with a soft sigh. But when he turns and sees the confused look still etched on your face, his expression falters. He blinks. Then blinks again.
“You don’t know?”
“What am I supposed to know? Seungkwan and I only reunited a week ago, and before that we had spoken a total of like… two times.” You explain, and Beomgyu presses his lips in a thin line. He turns to look at Seungkwan once more, before turning to you and pulling you towards your room.
He makes you stand in front of your bedroom door, gestures in the direction of where Seungkwan is sleeping, before stating, “Frankly, it’s not my story to tell–”
“Bitch. You pulled me aside just to say that?” You ask with a deadpan expression, and the brunette shushes you.
“As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted,” he gives you a pointed look, “It’s not my story to tell, so I’m only going to tell you the gist of it. Seungkwan tore his ACL in his senior year of volleyball at SNU, and it completely ended his volleyball career.”
Your heart sinks.
Boo Seungkwan? The same Seungkwan who lived and breathed volleyball? Whose energy lit up every game you ever watched?
Flashes of him come back in an instant—his bright smile whenever he played, his excited shouts when his team would successfully run a play, his laughter that echoed off the gym walls, the loud cheers from the crowd whenever he’d score a point. All that joy, that purpose, gone in a moment.
“He… he what?” You whisper, almost to yourself.
Beomgyu just shakes his head gently, “That’s all I should say. The rest is his story to share, not mine. I’m just happy to see him smiling again at least.”
The brunette stares at the look of something akin to both horror and sadness etched onto your face, and he can only fondly pat the top of your head. He squeezes your shoulder, “You should go to sleep. We have important business tomorrow. As in, baking Soobin tomorrow morning.”
You can only muster a tight-lipped smile, and Beomgyu turns and heads towards his room. Your eyes trail over to Seungkwan’s sleeping figure once more, unable to believe what your roommate just told you.
You saw the signs in the time the two of you have spent together, but you’re still unable to believe how harshly Seungkwan’s dream was ripped from his grasp. The late nights working at the convenience store, the dark circles under his eyes, and the detachment he showed when watching the beach volleyball game—it all makes sense now. All the signs were there.
But you still can’t quite believe it.
The dream he’d built his life around, ripped away without warning. The thing that had shaped so much of who he was, and now it’s gone.
A sharp ache lodges in your chest, and you shake your head, trying to push the weight of it all away as you step into your room.
You carefully weave through the crowd to get to your seat on the bleachers, and you let out a big smile when you see one of your few friends, Mark, waving you over. Hurrying to your spot, you plop down into the seat he saved for you, and hand him the bag of candy he asked for.
“Oh hell yeah! I’m glad they didn’t sell out of the gummy clusters, they’re usually the first to go whenever we have a home game.” He tells you as he opens the bag, and you nod your head in agreement as he holds out the candy to you.
Taking a piece, you toss it into your mouth as you explain, “Just so you know, I almost fought for my life getting you that candy. I didn’t think it would be that busy since it’s about to be the fourth set, but holy shit.”
Mark laughs and pats your head affectionately, “Well, thank you for going head first into battle for my favorite candy.”
“It’s only fair since you saved us seats earlier.”
“Well, it’s the last home game of the season. I figured you’d want to see the love of your life playing his last home game–”
“Shut your whore mouth?!” You whisper-shout, and your friend guffaws at your reaction. You have half the mind to start choking him out, but you do appreciate having at least one good friend in your school who you can confide in.
“I told you that in secrecy, and it was only told because you caught on to my heart eyes.”
“Yn, anyone can catch onto your heart eyes if they just glanced at you whenever the man called us to stand for the morning greeting.”
“You know what? I don’t need this right now. The fourth set is about to–” You’re cut off by the sound of cheers, and you immediately snap your head towards the court. Your heart practically leaps out of your chest when you see Seungkwan walk out while laughing with his teammate, Mingyu, before going straight to his position.
“Exhibit A.” Mark whispers into your ear, and you blindly slap his stomach, making him double over.
You watch as your team gets the first serve, and with bated breath, your eyes remain on the ball as it successfully gets served to the other team.
You watch in fascination as the game goes on, feeling a smile form on your face whenever Seungkwan lets out a cheer from a successful play. The crowd gets noticeably louder as your team wracks up points over the rival team, and you’re sure your heart rate is in the 100s from how close the game is.
Your eyes follow Seungkwan across the court, completely entranced by how his passion radiates through every movement. He plays like he’s part of the game itself—from the unwavering focus in his gaze, to the way his smile lights up whenever he scores, to the joy in his voice as he cheers on his teammates even when he’s subbed out. There’s no mistaking how much he loves this.
Your heart swells watching him—class president, volleyball captain, the sun around which so many orbit.
The crowd gets louder as the ball is kept alive longer than expected. You and Mark are on your feet now, having just watched your team’s libero dive over a table to save the ball. Hands clasped over your head, you brace yourself as the opposing team sets up for a block.
“Shit, shit, shit,” you mutter under your breath.
Then, just as quickly, everything shifts. A feint. A fake spike. And suddenly, Seungkwan is high above the net.
For a breathless second, time seems to stop. The noise of the crowd fades. The bright lights of the gym are shining onto the court, and all you can see is the way the lights illuminate Seungkwan’s form suspended mid-air, arm raised as the ball is passed to him. He strikes.
The ball slams into the floor untouched. Point.
25–20.
The scoreboard confirms it, but the deafening roar from the stands says it first. You and Mark jump and scream, pure joy coursing through your veins. Your eyes immediately search for Seungkwan, finding him at the center of the court, his smile wide and bright as his teammates pile onto him.
“Exhibit B,” Mark grins beside you, nudging your arm. “You practically have hearts shooting out of your eyes.”
You don’t even bother defending yourself this time, a warm smile on your face as you watch the team toss Seungkwan into the air in celebration.
Because all you can think is: he’s so happy, and he is so dearly loved.
And that’s more than enough for you.
Your eyes slowly open, the sunlight shining in through the cracks of the curtains. The corner of your lips quirk upwards, warmth lingering in your chest at the fond memory. Letting out a yawn, you roll over to check the time, only to pause when you hear the sound of laughter coming from the kitchen.
“You’re telling me that this whole time I’ve known you and Soobin, that Soobin actually won that League game?”
“Yeah. I think since my frontal lobe is developing, I’ve decided to be truthful.”
You roll your eyes at Beomgyu bringing up that League game once again. In the years you’ve known him and Soobin, it’s brought up at least once a month.
Grabbing your phone, you step out of bed and open your bedroom door to find Seungkwan and Beomgyu carefully putting flour over the dough.
“Well, well, well. Look who finally decided to wake up. We’re about to score Soobin, yn.” Your roommate calls out when he glances up from Soobin the dough, and Seungkwan looks away from the dough at the mention of your name. You watch as the blonde’s eyes scan the room before landing on you, and you feel your heart thump against your chest at the warm smile that appears on his face.
“Good morning, yn.” Seungkwan greets, and you smile, “Good morning.”
“Good morning Beomgyu, my favorite person in the whole wide world.” Beomgyu interrupts in a high-pitch voice, clearly trying to impersonate you, and your smile turns into a death glare, “Awe~ thank you, yn. You’re so kind to me.”
“You’re insufferable, you know that? You should definitely know it. You absolute son of a bitch. ” You deadpan as you walk over towards the bathroom to brush your teeth, and the brunette lets out a cackle before chatting with Seungkwan again.
Grabbing your toothbrush, you start to brush your teeth and head over to the kitchen to watch them score Soobin the sourdough. You stand beside Seungkwan and sleepily lean against his shoulder as the two of you watch Beomgyu whip out the blade.
You fail to notice the small smile that graces Seungkwan’s face from your initiated skinship.
“Do you trust Beomgyu enough to do this?” The blonde leans in to ask, and right before you get the chance to answer, your roommate lets out a maniacal laugh at the thought of scoring Soobin.
Soobin the dough.
You shake your head, no, and the blonde chuckles.
You stand together in a comfortable silence as your roommate seemingly locks in and starts etching a design onto the top of the dough. You have to hide how impressed you are at the delicate design Beomgyu scores into the dough. You didn’t think he had it in him, but then again, he’s already baked quite a few sourdough loaves.
As you try to reflect on Beomgyu’s previous loaves of bread, you almost inhale all the toothpaste foam in your mouth when Seungkwan suddenly rests his head on top of yours.
Beomgyu lets out a satisfactory smile once he finishes the score design, and turns to look at the two of you for praise, just to freeze at the sight resting before him. You’re still frozen as well, but even moreso now that you feel like you just got caught.
He stares at the two of you for a moment, before that sly smile you dread makes its way onto his face.
“Well, this is cute.” Your roommate states quite matter of factly as he gestures between the two of you. It takes you an egregious amount of energy to not spit the toothpaste foam directly onto his face as you instead step away to go and rinse out your mouth in the bathroom.
“I should just kill that guy.” You mutter to yourself after drying your mouth with a towel. Stepping out of the bathroom, you walk over to the kitchen to watch as Seungkwan places Soobin the sourdough into the oven.
“Wow~ I hope Soobin tastes good.” Beomgyu says in a singsong voice after the blonde shuts the oven door. You bite the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from laughing at the other way you can interpret that statement.
Seungkwan chuckles, however, and corrects your roommate, “Soobin the sourdough.”
“Tomato, potato.” The brunette says with a wave of his hand, making you roll your eyes before realizing that Seungkwan is wearing the sleeping clothes Beomgyu offered, “Oh! You’re wearing pajamas. Does that mean you woke up last night?”
Seungkwan glances down and laughs as he nods his head, “Yeah, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling gross in my jeans. Thank you guys for helping me lay down and stuff…”
But you barely catch the end of his sentence.
Your gaze has already drifted to the long surgical scar resting along his knee. It cuts sharply against his skin, a quiet but jarring reminder of everything Beomgyu told you.
Your chest tightens.
It’s not fair. Why him? Of all people?
“Yn!”
You jolt, immediately looking up to find both boys staring at you, “Sorry! I completely zoned out, what was that?”
“Seungkwan asked if you wanted to go pick up coffee at the place downstairs so we can drink it as we eat Soobin.” Beomgyu explains.
You bite the inside of your cheek, silently hoping that the pretty blonde didn’t notice you staring at his surgery scar. But when your eyes meet his, you know that he did.
He gives you a small smile that doesn’t quite match his gaze, “I can go by myself if you guys want. I just wanted to treat you guys for being such great hosts–”
“No!” You cut off, making Seungkwan and Beomgyu pause at your sudden outburst. Clearing your throat, you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear and gesture towards the door, “I can go with you. I wouldn’t want you to carry Beomgyu’s gigantic diabetic drink by yourself.”
“Okay–what the hell. I just breathed.” The brunette says in offense, but you don’t even shoot him a glance as your eyes stay on Seungkwan.
The blonde lets out a breathy chuckle and gives you a thumbs up, “Sounds good. What drink did you want though, Gyu?”
You shoot your roommate a pointed look, already knowing what his ass is going to ask for. He seemingly ignores your gaze as he reaches up to scratch the back of his neck, looking up at the ceiling as he mutters, “Cinnamon shortbread latte. Extra vanilla syrup… please.”
You slap a hand over your mouth to fight the laugh that threatens to escape, and he raises his hand to flip you off in response. Seungkwan bites back a laugh as well, turning and heading towards the door, and you follow after him.
As you slip into your slippers and grab your keys, Seungkwan steps into his sneakers and throws a jacket on. The two of you leave the apartment in a silence that feels heavier than it should.
Inside the elevator, you finally speak, “Did you sleep well?”
“Oh—yeah. Your guys’ couch is very comfortable so I practically slept like a baby.” Seungkwan answers with a small laugh, and you exhale in relief as you give him a smile.
“I’m glad. Beomgyu and I were surprised to find you fast asleep as soon as the movie ended.” You say with a giggle as the two of you step out of the elevator. Seungkwan chuckles and nods his head, holding the loppy door open for you before falling into step at your side.
“Yeah, I guess I didn’t realize how tired I was.”
You nod, but hesitate for a second, “Will you be okay for your shift at the convenience store tonight? I almost forgot that you’re working the night shift.”
Seungkwan waves it off, “I’ll be alright. Nothing I’m not used to, don’t worry.”
You bite the inside of your cheek, but decide to let it go.
At the café, you order and sit side-by-side on the tall stools by the window as you wait for your order. Despite the light conversation, you find your thoughts drifting to the long scar you caught a glimpse of, and everything Beomgyu told you last night. You have to force yourself not to look at Seungkwan’s leg, and instead stare out the window.
“What are you thinking about?” Seungkwan asks in a soft voice, snapping you out of your thoughts. You turn to look at the blonde, “What?”
“It’s just, you’ve been frowning since we sat down. Are you okay?” You press your lips into a thin line at the fact that he noticed. Feeling a bit embarrassed at how you’re not able to hide your emotions, you just shrug your shoulders, “I’m okay.”
“Are you sure?” Seungkwan presses, and you nod your head. However, you seemingly couldn’t get the slight frown to leave as the pretty blonde sighs and reaches out, gently rubbing his thumb over the crease between your eyebrows.
“You’re not very good at hiding your feelings, you know?” He teases lightly, and a small smile escapes you at that.
You’re about to joke with him when the sound of your order number is called, and you move to hop off the stool, but Seungkwan stops you, “I got it.”
You freeze mid-scoot when you see him actively trying to be careful as he steps down from the high stool, favoring his leg. Your eyes dart to his scar, unintentionally this time, and your breath catches in your throat.
“I got it,” you say quickly, already moving. “No worries. Just… stay here.”
Without waiting for his response, you walk over and grab the drink carrier. Giving your thanks to the barista, you turn around and head back to Seungkwan, coming to a slow pace when you see the hard expression on his face.
“What?” You ask in a quiet voice, and he stares at you in silence for a moment. His eyes are unreadable as he looks at you, and you can’t help the feeling of guilt that washes over you.
“Seungkwan, what is it?” You ask again, and he just lets out a sigh, turning away to scratch the back of his neck in frustration. Without a word, he takes the drink carrier from your grasp, and heads for the door. You trail behind in silence.
Outside, the air feels heavier than it did before.
“Seungkwan?” You call again, softly.
He stops in the middle of the sidewalk after you call his name once more, and he turns to you, frustration etched across his features.
“Just because you found out about my injury, doesn’t mean you need to pity me.” Seungkwan tells you, anger laced into his voice.
Your eyes widen, “I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant to do at all–”
“Well, that’s what you did,” he snaps. “You embarrassed me there, you know? I’m still physically capable, so I can get my own coffee. I don’t need your pity.”
His voice isn’t loud, but it cuts through you. You take a step back, eyebrows furrowed as you stare into his eyes.
“Why are you being so hostile over this one thing I did?” you ask, voice rising. “You’re not even giving me the chance to apologize or explain.”
Seungkwan shakes his head, “I’m not being hostile.”
“You totally are!” You scoff.
Silence stretches between you. You're both too annoyed to even attempt to hear the other out.
After a moment, he finally lets out a breath and hands you the drink carrier, “You can have my drink. I’m going home. Tell Beomgyu I had an emergency or something—I don’t know.”
“What the hell? You’re going to leave over this?” You ask, and he gives you a dry chuckle.
“You were right. I should rest before my night shift tonight, so yeah. I am leaving over this. I’ll see you tomorrow, or something.” Seungkwan says, before turning around and walking away without looking back.
And you’re left alone standing in the middle of the sidewalk with three coffees—one normal, one diabetic, and one that tastes like battery acid—and a sharp ache blooming in your chest.
“Chat, am I the asshole?” You mutter on Beomgyu’s floor, holding his plushie to your chest as he plays League on his computer. You hear him insult Soobin through his mic, before shooting you a quick glance.
“I don’t think you’re an asshole, per se. I can see where he is coming from, though.”
You sniffle, “What does Soobin think?”
Beomgyu lets out a breath, before quickly fixing his settings so that Soobin’s voice comes out of his pc’s speakers instead of his headset, “Yn can hear you now, Soobin.”
“I don’t think you’re an asshole, yn.”
You can’t fight the pout from forming on your lips as you actively hold back the tears threatening to spill.
High school you could never imagine fighting Seungkwan like that—let alone fathom being close enough to hurt each other like this. Friends who sometimes feel like something more… but you won’t let yourself go there right now because:
you don’t want to be delusional
you’re still a bit mad at him
why the hell would Boo Seungkwan, your first love, ever feel something for you?
“Princess, am I going to hell?” You ask, feeling a bit more sad at your trail of thoughts as you clutch the plushie tighter to your chest. Beomgyu and Soobin answer in perfect unison, “Of course not, yn.”
“Shut the fuck up Beomgyu! I was talking to Soobin! You already know he’s my princess, not you!” You cry out, flopping backwards onto the floor. Your roommate bites his bottom lip, visibly holding back a retort. You’re sad over fighting with your first love, so he should be nice to you. Probably.
Still, he mutters under his breath, “I should just fucking kill myself.”
“I think you guys just need to talk it out,” Soobin says gently. “It was a bit of a silly fight, so you guys should be able to resolve it as long as you talk.”
Your pout deepens at his words, and you sniffle. The sound of a potential cry incoming causes Beomgyu to freeze.
A tear finally does escape past your eye, and Beomgyu immediately dies in the game.
“Ain’t no way you just died like that.” Soobin says.
The brunette doesn’t respond. He turns to look at you, eyes wide as he takes in the sight of you trying to hold back tears, and ultimately failing. He feels his own lips form into a pout at the pitiful sight.
“Yn,” Beomgyu says gently, “Soobin’s right. You guys just need to talk, okay?”
And that’s it.
You just about start wailing at your roommate talking to you in a gentle tone. Beomgyu flinches back in horror, and you hear Soobin start panicking and asking if you’re okay in-between a chorus of:
oh shit! son of a bitch?! beomgyu what the eff i need support?!
Your roommate rushes off his gaming chair and sits on the floor beside you, patting your head as you cry it all out. He’s practically holding back tears of his own, feeling like a strong empath at the moment, you suppose.
“I-It’s just not fair? How can the universe rip Seungkwan’s dream right out from under him like that? That’s so not fair! He of all people deserved to fulfill his dream!” You cry, voice cracking, and Beomgyu turns his head away so that he’s not looking at you while continuing to pat your head.
“It’s not fair. You’re right, yn. It was probably the most heartbreaking thing to watch him go through during that time.” Soobin agrees, and you almost start crying even harder as you reflect on your argument, realizing that you have been pitying him.
You hiccup through another sob and turn to your roommate, looking at the back of his coconut-shaped head.
“I am the asshole.” You whisper through your tears.
“I think you’re both the asshole. Asshole is kind of a strong term though. Maybe you guys are more like, I don’t know… baby bastards.” Beomgyu suggests, still facing the white wall as he pats your head.
“Listen,” Soobin continues, “it’s not my story to tell. But yeah, Seungkwan went through a lot. It still hits him emotionally to this day, so I’m not surprised that he reacted like that. You guys just need to talk.”
You sniffle, clutching the plushie tightly in your arms as you think of how to even start that conversation.
“He’s working the night shift right now, so I don’t think I’ll be able to talk to him until tomorrow.” You state, feeling your pout deepen at the fact that you might have to wait until tomorrow.
“Why not go visit him during his shift?” Beomgyu suggests, still facing the wall. “That’s how you guys reconnected in the first place, anyways.”
“That’s a good idea! You should do that, yn.” Soobin voices his support, and you snap your fingers as a lightbulb figuratively appears above your head.
“I can bring him his half of Soobin since he didn’t get to try him today!”
The moment the words leave your mouth, Beomgyu’s head snaps to you right as Soobin goes, “You can bring him his half of huh?”
You and Beomgyu freeze as your princess on the other end goes quiet.
Your eyes widen in horror. Beomgyu’s eye twitches.
You glance at Beomgyu, mouthing the words: I’m so fucking sorry.
He can only let out a deep sigh, reaching out and wiping the tear tracks off your cheeks with the back of his hand.
“Did you say bring him his half of me?” Soobin asks slowly. “Like… me, Soobin? Choi Soobin. Me?!”
Swallowing the lump in your throat, you gently place Beomgyu’s plushie back on his bed, and stand up from the floor. You step over towards the mic, “I’m going to go get ready to talk to Seungkwan. Thank you for your help, Soobie my princess.”
“Anytime, yn… but seriously. What did you mean by bring him his half of me?”
“Haha, that’s crazy. Reception is so bad here. I hope y'all win your next game!”
“Reception? We’re calling on Discord.”
Without responding, you turn towards your roommate. You raise your fists up towards Beomgyu, who is in a state of fear, and go Fighting! before practically sprinting out of his room.
Beomgyu stares blankly at his screen, already wondering what picture of him his parents will use for his funeral.
“Beomgyu… what are you doing with my name?” Soobin asks, and to one with an untrained ear, this is a simple question. To Beomgyu, however, this is a matter of life or death. He gulps and slowly stands up from his bedroom floor. He carefully walks over to his gaming chair and sits down.
“So… crazy story…”
Holding Soobin the sourdough in a tupperware, you walk in the direction of the convenience store where Seungkwan works. The late evening spring air is warm, just enough to hint that summer is slowly starting to settle in.
It’s 1:00 AM. You’d spent the latter half of the night groveling in Beomgyu’s room over Seungkwan—until the brunette, in an incredibly rare instance of genius, suggested you go visit him at work.
You pause your walk, “Does intruding during his shift make me more of an asshole?”
You think for a moment longer, before shaking your head and continuing towards the convenience store. You had already made it this far, you can’t back down now.
Your mind drifts to memories of Seungkwan in high school, and how you had admired him quietly from a distance. Back then, you wished nothing but the best for him. And now? That hasn’t changed.
But as the gentle breeze brushes past you, you realize that perhaps you idolized him too much. You only ever expected the best from him, because that’s all you saw growing up. From his perfect grades, his charisma, to his genuine love and passion for volleyball. You only ever pictured him fulfilling his dream of becoming a national athlete, loved by fans all around the world.
But life doesn’t always follow the plans we make, and success doesn’t only come in one form.
The convenience store finally comes into view, and you pause when you see the blonde staring at his phone with a furrow to his eyebrows. You watch quietly as he presses his lips into a thin line, and starts typing something into his phone. He stares at the message for a moment, before seemingly deleting the text and resting his head onto the counter in frustration.
Biting the inside of your cheek, you carefully walk up to the convenience store and push the doors open.
“Welcome in–Yn?” Seungkwan’s eyes are wide when he looks up to see you standing there, clad in only a t-shirt, thin jacket and jeans. You give him an awkward smile and raise Soobin the sourdough towards him as you take a step forward, “I brought you your share of Soobin the bread. It wouldn’t be fair if you didn’t get to try your hard work.”
Seungkwan watches as you gently place the tupperware on the counter, before taking a step back and staring at him with a slightly nervous expression on your face.
“Thank you, yn… I was actually just about to text you.” Seungkwan confesses in a soft voice, one that drips with a tinge of remorse. You blink, suddenly realizing that what you saw a moment ago was him working up the nerve to reach out to you. The corners of your lips tilt upwards, and you gesture towards the ramen section, “I can go buy us ramen and wait for you outside?”
The blonde stares at you for a moment, before a small smile graces his own features. He nods his head, “Yeah. I’ll get on my break and buy the sausages.”
You grab the cup ramen the two of you like and prepare it after paying. After transferring the first cup of ramen outside, you quickly head back into the store to grab your ramen. Carefully holding the second cup, you walk out the convenience store and place it on the table before sitting down. A cool breeze blows past you, making you shiver as you break your chopsticks.
“Guess it’s not exactly summer, yet.” You murmur, starting to regret not bringing a thicker jacket. Rubbing your chopsticks together, you’re about to check on your noodles when you suddenly feel something get draped over your shoulders. You turn your head to find Seungkwan settling into the seat beside you, only wearing his sweatshirt and convenience store vest as he breaks his chopsticks apart.
“Thank you, Seungkwan.” You say softly, already feeling warmer by the affectionate act. The blonde just gives you a smile before gesturing to the sausages he bought, and you grin before digging into your late night meal.
The two of you eat in silence, but it’s not uncomfortable or tumultuous like it was earlier in the day. This silence is comfortable, as you both feel remorseful for what happened.
It’s only when you each slurp up the last of your noodles, and the container of sausages is empty, that Seungkwan finally breaks the silence.
“It happened during my last volleyball season at SNU, right before I was supposed to join the national team—I tore my ACL.”
You turn your head to face the blonde, and feel your chest tighten at the familiar sight of the faraway look to his eyes. He presses his lips into a thin line, avoiding eye contact with you as he continues.
“It was a big game. We were playing against our top rival, scouts for the national team were in the crowd, and my team was in the lead.” Seungkwan explains, letting out a shaky breath before continuing, “And I had landed wrongly in trying to save the ball. Most people assume that I would’ve only remembered the searing pain I felt in my leg. Yet, all I remember at that moment was the feeling of my heart breaking.”
You feel tears flood your eyes at his vulnerability in retelling this story, your own heart breaking within your chest at the pain he must’ve felt. The blonde bites his bottom lip at the memory, and lets out a dry laugh, “For some reason, I just knew at that moment that my dream was over. Of course, I fought with my doctor and my surgeon. I worked my ass off in rehab too because I just didn’t want to accept it. I knew it was true, but I couldn’t bring myself to acknowledge that.”
“I just,” Seungkwan scratches the back of his neck, still refusing to meet your eyes, “I just couldn’t believe it—all my hard work, the blood, sweat, and tears I poured into my passion for the sport—just gone in a split second. It was my dream to play on the national team. Volleyball was all I knew, and I was good at it. So when it was taken away from me, I felt like I wasn’t worth anything anymore. It put me in a really dark place, if I’m being honest.”
“Since I couldn’t play the rest of the season, my volleyball scholarship had to be revoked. My coach and team fought for me, but we lost. I had to take out a loan and work outside of school in order to pay my tuition. I’m towards the end of my loan payment now, so I guess it’s fine. I was only lucky that I had a strong support system at the time, because I don’t think I would’ve been able to get to where I am today if I endured that alone.” Seungkwan explains, and you can only stay silent as you stare at the blonde.
You stare at the boy who made your time in high school shine brightly. The boy you once admired for his effortless charm and athleticism, unraveling before you—burdened by a dream that was suddenly out of reach.
“Rehab was hard, and I still occasionally have to see a physical therapist. Once you tear your ACL, it’s incredibly easy to tear it again. It’s changed the way I live my life, but I’m stubborn and like to think I can still live the way I once did. That's why I was so sensitive with you today when you were just worried. And for that, I’m sorry, yn. I shouldn’t have been so hostile towards you.”
“No, no. I’m so sorry, Seungkwan.” You interrupt, and the blonde finally turns to look at you for the first time since starting the conversation. His eyes widen at the sight of the tears in your eyes, and he reaches out to rest his hand over yours, “Yn, why are you crying?”
Your bottom lip trembles, but you suck in a deep breath to keep your tears at bay. You shake your head, voice shaking as you begin, “It’s not just what happened to you that hurt. It’s that… you of all people, didn’t deserve it. Not after everything you worked for. When I think of you, I remember how serious you were about volleyball. How much passion you had–even back in high school. You were always so sure of yourself, always chasing something bigger.”
You glance down at his hand over yours, willing your voice to stay steady, “So hearing what you went through, and seeing it in person–it hit me. Maybe because I saw your love for the sport, and the love you were shown. Maybe because… back then, you were this source of brightness in a place that didn’t always feel bright to me. And to know that even someone like you could have something like that taken away, it just made the world feel cruel.”
Seungkwan stays quiet, an indecipherable emotion in his eyes as he stares at you, and you offer him a faint, tearful smile.
“It wasn’t fair for me to change the way I acted around you as soon as I found out what happened. The last thing I would ever want to do is make you think that I pity you, or that you’re not capable of doing something just because of your injury. I don’t ever want to belittle you, or make you feel small.” You explain, and the blonde bites the inside of his cheek at your honesty. He gives your hand a squeeze and nods his head with a close-lipped smile, “It’s okay, yn. I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry too, Seungkwan.” You tell him softly. The two of you stare at each other for a moment longer, a weight being lifted off both of your guys’ shoulders after communicating. Seungkwan turns away and lets out a sigh, “Maybe I should’ve bought us beer instead of sausages. I didn’t expect to pour my heart out like that.”
A laugh escapes you at his joke, and he grins at you, before reaching out and adjusting his jacket over your shoulders so that you’re fully protected from the cold air. Feeling warmth flood your face at the affectionate action, you turn away and look up at the stars as a comfortable silence settles between the two of you.
You turn towards the blonde a moment later, finding your gaze drifting along his profile under the streetlight. His features are cast in a soft gold, and for once, there’s no heaviness in his expression. The dark circles beneath his eyes have faded since the first day you saw him again, no longer etched so sharply into his skin.
Your eyes catch sight of the roots of his hair just beginning to peek through, the dark brown growing in against the light blonde. It’s a gentle contrast, a quiet sign of time moving forward, or something coming back into bloom.
Though the streetlight is not the most flattering light to most, it lays on Seungkwan’s features softly—highlighting the gentle curve of his cheekbones and the warmth in his eyes as if the night itself were conspiring to make him glow.
“It must’ve taken a lot of courage.” You suddenly speak, and the blonde turns to you with a raised eyebrow. The corner of his lips quirks upwards, and he just scoffs, “To what? Get an injury so severe that it made me ineligible for the national team?”
You shake your head, and he tilts his head at you, awaiting your response.
You can see how deeply the struggle has affected him, and you can’t help but admire the strength it must have taken to let go of something he loved so much.
“To give up on your dream…” You pause, trying to find the right words, “That took courage, Seungkwan.”
Seungkwan stares at you as your words soak in, unable to respond. He blinks slowly, before turning away from you and looking up at the sky. You look away and up towards the stars as well, your breath catching when you feel him gently rest his head on your shoulder a minute later.
For a while, neither of you speak, the quiet weight of the moment settling between you.
You stay like that until Seungkwan’s break is over, shoulders touching as the world outside of this moment fades away.
You glance down at the small bouquet in your hands, making sure the SNU logo in the middle of the flowers is perfectly centered. Letting out a small smile, you adjust your graduation cap on the top of your head, and turn to your parents, “I’ll be right back! I just need to drop this off.”
“Okay honey, but try to hurry! We have the reservation at the restaurant soon!” Your mom shouts after you, and you shoot them a thumbs up as you hurry towards the school building.
You pass by many of your classmates, congratulating them on also graduating as you do so. There’s families and teachers everywhere, big smiles on everyone’s faces as you walk through the building.
It’s only when you finally make it to your classroom for the last time, that you almost let out a chuckle at the sight that lays before you.
“Guess I’m not the only one who wanted to leave him a gift.” You murmur as you walk up to Seungkwan’s desk, seeing the numerous boxes and candies left on top and on his seat. Biting the inside of your cheek, you place down the bouquet of flowers in the last empty space on his desk. You quickly fix the position of the attached noted you had written,
Congratulations, Class President. I’ll be rooting for you.
Taking a step back, you smile to yourself at the sight of all the love shown towards the boy you admired throughout all of high school. You let out a breath, and take one last look around the class. Your fingers trail over your desk and cubby as you walk by, until you reach the doors of the classroom.
Smiling softly, your eyes linger on all the gifts laying on Seungkwan’s desk, before nodding your head in satisfaction as you turn around and walk down the hallway of your high school one last time.
Goodbye, my first love.
You smile to yourself at the memory as you prepare your lunch bag for work. You never would’ve thought you and Seungkwan would reconnect, especially not like this. However, the smile on your face soon drops when the bane of your existence breaks the silence.
“I can’t believe I’m losing my roommate to the workforce once again.”
“Beomgyu, I am choosing peace instead of violence, and asking you to shut the fuck up.” You respond without even shooting him a glance, and the brunette lets out a whine from the couch.
“Can I not mourn the loss of you returning to work and me not waking up to already made coffee and breakfast?” Beomgyu asks, and you squint, “You only care about the meals I made, not my actual presence.”
“Well, yes.” The brunette answers like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, and you let out a sigh. Reaching down, you grab your slipper, and before he can react, you chuck it right at his forehead. You turn around right when you hear your slipper reach its target, a satisfied smile forming on your face when Beomgyu lets out a cry from the floor instead of the couch.
Placing your lunch into the refrigerator, you let out a yawn and check the clock on the microwave, seeing that it’s almost time for you to sleep.
“You don’t love me the way I love you! And after all I did to make you and Seungkwan be #endgame!”
“We aren’t dating, Gyu.”
“Right… didn’t you guys start casually holding hands three days ago? And have continued to do so everyday after that?”
You pause your journey to your bedroom, and slowly turn to glance at your roommate. You squint at the sight of his knowing smile, and he starts making kissy noises that trigger you to imagine throwing your other slipper at him.
“We’re just… holding hands. You and I have held hands!”
“If you’re counting the times I had to grab your hand to stop you from choking me to death, then that does not count.” Beomgyu says with a deadpan expression, and you purse your lips.
You cannot refuse nor deny that statement, unfortunately.
The brunette lets out a sigh, stands up from the floor at your silence, and tosses your slipper in your direction, “Have a good day back at work tomorrow, and have fun with your boyfriend~”
“He’s not my boyfriend! It’s only been a week!” You immediately exclaim as you slip back into your other slipper, and your roommate just waves a hand at you as he walks off in the direction of his bedroom.
“Potato, tomato. Either way, I expect to be the Best Man at the wedding.”
Feeling how warm your cheeks are at Beomgyu’s teasing, you quickly shout goodnight! before stepping into your room and shutting the door. You let out a breath, and plop down onto your bed. Raising your hands up to your face, you feel slightly more embarrassed from how warm your cheeks are compared to your hands.
“That bastard.” You murmur to yourself with a small smile. Shaking your head, you reach for your charger to plug in your phone, just to pause when you see the notification you missed.
seungkwan🍊: have a good day back at school tomorrow ^^
are we still on for after school?
you: have a good day back too seungkwannie~
and yes of course!
seungkwan🍊: yay
i’ll see you tomorrow <3
you: night night <3
Plugging your phone into its charger, you place it on your bedside table, and roll onto your back. You stare at your ceiling in silence for a moment, feeling your face warm up again from the interaction. Biting your bottom lip, you roll over and shove your face into your pillow, letting out a squeal as you kick your feet.
At the end of the day, you’re still 16 year old you at heart.
“Hi! I’m here in the teacher’s office. I had to greet everyone first.” You say into your phone, and you hear Seungkwan chuckle from the other end. “I’ll be there in a second. Don’t let Mr. Kim rope you into a long conversation or else we’ll be late to practice.”
“I would never. Not intentionally, at least.” You joke, and the blonde laughs before telling you he’ll see you soon. Hanging up the phone, you glance around the teacher’s office, feeling incredibly nostalgic at being in your old high school.
“Yn!” You turn your head at the call of your name, and a smile graces your features when Seungkwan walks over to you from the doorway.
“Oh~ who would’ve thought I’d see this pairing in my life?” Your old homeroom teacher says in a singsong voice, causing the other teachers to start giggling. The sound of your old teachers giggling and commenting happily at the sight of you and Seungkwan together has heat rushing to your face.
You’re about to laugh it off when suddenly you feel Seungkwan’s warm hand encompass your own, and you turn your head to find him giving your old teachers a small smile. “We have to head to volleyball practice now–the students are waiting. We’ll see you guys later!”
Your old teachers start cooing at the sight of your intertwined hands as Seungkwan turns and leads you out of the teacher’s office. You can’t help the shy smile from forming on your face, and when you spare a glance at the blonde, you catch sight of his ears that have turned a soft shade of red.
Your heart thumps against your chest when the blonde turns to give you a smile as he leads you down the hallway. The two of you pass right by your old classroom, and you give his hand a squeeze as all the bright memories from high school flash past your eyes.
“Are we also going to hold hands in front of your students too? I think our old teachers are having a field day in the office right now.”
Seungkwan lets out a short laugh and nods his head in agreement, his thumb brushing lightly over your knuckles. “Probably shouldn’t, but I would if you wanted to,” he teases, but there’s a tenderness to his voice that lingers even after the joke fades.
The two of you walk in step through the quiet hallways, with only a few students remaining in some of the classrooms for the after-school program. There’s a distant echo of laughter and the sound of sneakers squeaking against the gym floor growing louder with each step.
When you’re finally standing in front of the doors to the gym, the two of you let go of each other, and Seungkwan gives you a shy smile, “Just to warn you, these kids can be a bit… you know. Teenagers. Think they’re the shit and try to act like adults, but in reality their mom is paying for all their stuff. You know, it’s a canon event. When you get to know them though, they’re really great. Trust me. I’m pretty sure a few of them are getting scouted for SNU and Yonsei in the upcoming games.”
“I know what you mean, don’t worry. Do they know how lucky they are to have you as their coach?” You ask with a grin, and he fondly nudges his shoulder against yours, before pushing open the doors. He picks up his whistle and blows into it, immediately capturing the attention of the young students who were simultaneously messing around and stretching.
“Coach Seungkwan! We’ve been waiting for you!” One of the boys exclaims with a big smile, and you feel warmth flood your chest at the affection that drips from all the students’ expressions as they look at the blonde.
“I’m sorry for being a bit late! I had to bring my classmate here to meet you guys. Everyone~ say hi to teacher yln.” Seungkwan gestures in your direction, and you wave your hand at the students who eagerly smile and wave at you. “Hi! I’m a fellow alumni from Coach Seungkwan’s year. You guys should know that you’re very lucky to have this guy as your coach.”
“Was he really the best on his team like he always brags about?”
“Woah, woah, woah. I never claimed I was the best on my team!” Seungkwan intervenes, and you have to hold back your laugh at the sight of his wide eyes and red ears to match.
“Then who claimed it?” You tease, and the students look towards the blonde expectantly. You giggle at how flustered he looks as he tries to come up with an answer, and the kids start laughing and exposing him. You smile at the sight of Seungkwan waving his arms and trying to shush them as you start to walk in the direction of the bleachers.
“Alright, alright. I hope you guys had your fun ruining my ego in front of teacher yln.” Seungkwan states with a fake glare towards the students, causing them to laugh and high five. “Anyways, since we have a special guest here, I expect you guys to put in 110% effort into today’s practice. Afterwards, I’ll treat you all to some snacks for tomorrow’s practice. Deal?!”
“Deal!!” The students immediately answer, and you giggle as Seungkwan raises his arms up in celebration. He shoots you a wink, before turning back to the students and blowing his whistle, “Okay! Let’s start with warm-ups!”
You sit down on the bleachers as Seungkwan starts directing warm-ups, and you feel yourself become entranced as you watch him from afar.
His voice is firm, but kind as his presence grounds the whole gym. You watch as he moves along the sidelines, the detail in his instructions. You watch as he demonstrates some techniques, and calls out encouragement to the kids. Even when there needs to be something corrected, he does so with a gentle hand on a shoulder or a few clear words that make the kids focus.
And you sit there, tears flooding your eyes as you watch him, having not thought you’d see him like this again in your lifetime. Even though he’s not the one on the court, jumping high above the net—he still shines as brightly as you remember him.
You feel it in the way the kids look at him–the admiration, trust, and respect in their gazes. Through his posture, his quiet confidence, and the pure love that shines through his eyes and actions. He’s still leading, still burning with that light that once made your high school years feel a little less dull.
You find yourself smiling to yourself as you watch Seungkwan laugh with one of the students, feeling a tear escape your eye when you catch sight of his beautiful smile as he ruffles another one’s hair for serving well.
The volleyball practice eventually ends with laughter and a dramatic dive for the ball that sends one of the students skidding across the floor. Seungkwan blows his whistle, claps his hands, and announces that practice has ended. The students shout, thank you! before bowing and cleaning up the gym.
You watch as the blonde joins them in cleaning up, even helping some of the students carry away the volleyball nets. There’s sweat dripping from his forehead, and his hair is a little messy from the practice, but he’s smiling in a way that makes something ache in your chest.
When the gym is cleaned and the locker room finally quiets down, Seungkwan jogs over to you, chest rising and falling as he catches his breath, “Sorry that took a while. They’re a bit loud and yap a lot, but they’re great, right?”
You nod your head slowly, watching him with something unreadable behind your eyes, The blonde tilts his head at your silence, before letting out a nervous laugh, “Shit. Did you have any critiques? Should I have been tougher on them?”
“No,” you quickly interject, and Seungkwan bites the inside of his cheek, afraid of what’s on your mind that has you so speechless. He’s about to ask you if something’s wrong, but the words die in his throat when you softly confess, “You were great out there.”
He looks at you like he’s not sure how to respond to that, sensing that your words carry more weight than the simple compliment.
Then, quietly, almost like you’re not sure if you should say it, you do.
“You haven’t changed.”
He blinks at your sudden observation, remembering the day on the beach.
“Why not? Whichever team you join would win since they’d have you as their teammate.” You say with a small smile, and Seungkwan just shakes his head. He stares up at the sky, watching the cloud slowly move past his gaze. He can’t bring himself to tell you the truth, not when you remember him in such a pure light.
He can’t help but feel bitter at how his life turned out as you stare at him in silence.
“You seem like a different person.” He hears you murmur after a moment, and his heart pangs against his chest. Swallowing the lump that’s built up in his throat, he lets out a breath at your statement.
Unable to look at you due to the fear of seeing disappointment or pity in your eyes, he quietly asks, “What kind of person was I before?”
Seungkwan feels your gaze on his face, but he continues to stare up at the sky as he waits for your answer.
“Right, I must’ve been mistaken.” You mutter, and the blonde can only watch the cloud drift further and further away from him as silence settles over the two of you.
Seungkwan bites the inside of his cheek as he reflects on that day, remembering how bitter he felt when he watched those guys play volleyball. He was hurt when you said what you did, but he didn’t want to let it show. It wasn’t fair to you when you didn’t even know the story.
Letting out a breath, he asks, “What do you mean?”
“You always made people feel like they belonged… you still do.” You explain, trying to come up with the words to make sure you’re conveying your feelings right. “You didn’t lose the best parts of yourself when you had to give up your dream, Seungkwan. You carried them with you.”
He stares at you after you finish. His lips opening and closing like he wants to respond, but not able to find the words. Instead, he swallows the lump that’s formed in his throat, and lets out a shaky breath.
“I didn’t know if I had,” he begins softly, “for a long time after my injury, I didn’t know if there was anything left of me outside of volleyball.”
You bite the inside of your cheek at the sight of tears pooling in his eyes, before reaching out and encompassing his warm hand in yours, “There is. There always has been. I saw it today, and honestly? I think I always did, even back then. You always shined so brightly, and you still do. You shine even brighter than before.”
Your words linger in the air afterwards. You’re not even sure if he’ll believe you, but you meant it. Every word.
And Seungkwan just stares at you, like he’s trying to memorize every detail of your face at this exact moment.
Then, a small, wet laugh escapes him—half disbelief, and half something else entirely as he gazes at your surroundings.
He shakes his head and looks at you, “You’re going to make me cry in our old high school gym. It almost makes me feel like I peaked in high school.”
You let out a loud laugh and squeeze his hand, “Trust me, you didn’t. Beomgyu, on the other hand? He’s bordering on that.”
Seungkwan laughs at your joke, shaking his head as you giggle along with him.
“Come on,” he says after a moment. He picks up your bag on the bleachers and gives your hand a gentle tug, “I’m not getting you locked in here with me overnight. Our old teachers are already having a field day over what happened earlier—they’d definitely go into cardiac arrest if we’re found here together after hours.”
You smile and let the blonde lead you towards the exit, the quiet hum of the gym settling around you like an old blanket. As you walk towards the doors, Seungkwan doesn’t let go of your hand, and you don’t want him to.
The gym lights above flicker once before shutting off behind you, the echo of your footsteps fading as the doors close.
Outside, the night air is cool against your skin. And the world feels slower, somehow. Almost suspended.
Seungkwan glances over as you step through the school gate together, watching as you turn back to look at your old high school one more time.
He gives your hand a squeeze, causing you to turn to look at him, “Thank you for coming today. Really.”
“Thank you for showing me.” You say with a soft smile, “I think… I really needed to see that.”
Seungkwan hums in agreement. A comfortable silence falls over the two of you as you walk hand-in-hand towards the bus stop, allowing yourselves to just soak in this moment. The weight between the two of you is lighter now, easier.
You glance at the pretty blonde, the boy you once watched from across the classroom and gym bleachers, never once daring to imagine a moment like this. Back then, he felt worlds away, like a star that’s bright and unreachable. It felt right to just watch him shine from a distance.
But now he’s here beside you, fingers laced with yours, walking home with you under the same stars.
And you silently think to yourself, maybe you’ve both found something better than what you first dreamt of.
hi my <3! wherever u are & whatever u are doing rn i hope its going well & you’re happy! i’m sending this random ask bc i was rereading my old fav fics and yours was one of them hehe so i kindaa miss u (so cheesyyy i’m sorry lol pls forgive me)
anyways, hope u are welll <3
-sincerely, ur old inactive moot hehe (;)
omg hi 🥹🥹
this is such a sweet message </33 thank you for your lovely words :((
to my old inactive moot, i hope you’re also doing well and that life is treating you kindly <3
but yeah i guess we can officially call it a hiatus 🥲 i’ve been so busy the last few years so here’s a bit of an update!!
shortly after posting to live again in 2023 i graduated from uni with my bachelors degree!! yippee!!!
then during my gap year i a full time job working at a school from 2023-2024~ then got accepted into my masters program (it’s a 3 year program so ill be a student again from 2024-2027) 🤓🤓
fun fact for everyone who has been with me through the beginning of my tumblr career!! @sunlightwoo and i were finally able to meet in person in march of 2024!! we were able to spend our 22nd birthdays together 🥹🥹🥹 she also helped me write my grad school apps and was there to see me get accepted into my program </333
and we will be together again this summer <33
now i am currently in my first year of graduate school!! i’m about to finish up spring quarter and then i’ll have the summer off yAHOOOOooooo
but i’ll have to get a job. i will never truly be free.
but yeah that’s what i’ve been doing during the time i’ve been gone 🥹🥹
i truly did try to write during that time, but i honestly lost all my motivation to write for so long. whenever i tried to sit down and work on a fic i had thought of, i could only really write like 1-2 sentences before shutting off my computer </33 writers block hit me like the pentagon
i’m not sure if this is the type of update everyone wanted and i’m sorry 🥹 i just wanted to provide some clarity for why i’ve been gone so long </3
remember us is seriously one of the best things i've read on this app and i actually am in love with all of your writing. the detail and the style of writing is just so nice and I JUST LOVE IT SO MUCHKF JSKFJL also the minghao hanahaki one really made me sob IT WAS SO WELL WRITTEN AND ALSO WAR OF HEARTS ARGHF THE PLOT LINE AND THE ENDING YOUR WRITING IS SOSOSOOS GOOD and ilysm :')
im crying this is a terribly late response and im so sorry im going to hell but :,))
thank you so much for your love and support </333 and for writing me such a kind ask </333 it truly means the world to me and i’m so glad you liked my fics 🥹🥹
LILA OMG idk if you rmbr me at all i forgot how we even became moots or interacted BUT ITS SO NICE TO SEE YOU BACK 🫶🫶 LITERALLY ONE OF THE BEST WRITERS OUT THERE
OH MY GOD VAE IM SO SORRY I NEVER RESPONDED TO THIS JFHDKDHD IM GOING STRAIGHT TO HELLLLL
i also forgot how we became moots 🤓 but it’s okay 🤓 you’re so sweet thank yoU GAWDDD </333
