DAMNED TO LOVING YOU
In a world of soulmates, you were the few that followed fate for love. Though you don’t know what you did to deserve finding them, your soulmate, making out with some girl in a bar.
Ace x Reader
TAGS: Gn reader, angst little to no comfort, no use of y/n, yah.
SONG: damned - Miguel
A/N: I wanted to make this a multi-character shot at first but I honestly had no other ideas besides one for him. Enjoy my FIRSTTT attempt at angst, please don’t beat the shit out of me.
_
The concept of soulmates had never been presented to you as a possibility since a kid, it was an absolute.
That was just your world, everyone has a person meant for them.
As a kid onward, grown ups spoke about it with soft smiles. It was described as a phenomenon of “Recognition”, the documented spike of dopamine, the temporary dissociation, the way the body would react before the mind could. It was the eye contact. And then, ink surfacing beneath skin, the name of your soulmate appearing somewhere on your body just to confirm it.
But people follow different paths. Some even marry and never meet their soulmate at all, which was a strong possibility. That was always the truth in finding a soulmate in the world, that it just might never happen.
But you didn’t want that, you wanted to know them, like them, love them.
Would fate allow it to be so simple?
—
People shifted out of your way as Luffy navigated to the bar table through instinct alone. The bar was a small zone of leftovers and half finished drinks from a small banquet you guys managed to get into. Surprisingly it was Zoro’s mess instead of Luffy.
You grabbed another cup, leaning slightly against the counter top while Luffy immediately went feral on whatever food he found first. Your job was to keep your captain out of trouble on this remote town.
But suddenly Luffy began to chew slower, his expression shifted, grimace. “..ew.”
You glanced up, almost surprised he was possible of being disgusted. “What?”
He swallowed slowly, the piece of meet still in his hand, he grimaced even harder till he turned his head to a different side of the kitchen. “I think I just saw my brother.”
You furrowed your eyebrows, recalling the name Ace from an old conversation. “That doesn’t sound bad at all.” You shrugged your shoulders. “It’s your brother.”
“I know, I know!” He whined facing the plate instead of anywhere else. “But he’s making out with someone, that’s just weird to see.”
Oh.
You guys stared at each other for a second, you tried your best to hold it in till you snorted, hard. “That’s what your face is about?”
“I didn’t expect it!” he defended immediately, gesturing vaguely with a piece of food. “He’s my brother, I don’t want to see that! What’s he even doing here!?”
You laughed properly now, the drink barely even stabilizing with how much you shook it.“yeah, that’s fair.”
Curiosity tugged at you before you even made the decision to act on it. You’ve heard of him before, you didn’t want to miss your chance of seeing him. You set your cup down, palm flattening against the counter.
“Where?” You asked, turning your body.
Luffy pointed with absolute certainty. “Near the bathrooms.. on the wall.”
Luffy’s voice faded into something distant before you even realized you weren’t hearing him anymore.
You leaned slightly over the counter, just enough to see past the edge as the all the heads walked by.
To be quick, you saw exactly what Luffy saw. Her fingers twisted in the fabric of Ace’s shirt, his body angled toward her as they breathed into each other.
You should’ve looked away immediately. You weren’t the type to watch things like that, it didn’t really turn you on or anything.
But something in your chest tightened instead of letting you move.
So you stayed.
It didn’t take long for you to realize what that gut feeling meant until Ace himself took a glance over in the same direction, like he felt the same thing.
You met his eyes.
It was impossible to ever think of looking away now.
It wasn’t a slow realization or a curious glance that turned meaningful over time. It was immediate, like the moment your eyes met something in the world clicked into place so violently it refused to be ignored.
He’s my soulmate.
Luffy’s brother is my soulmate.
Ace.
The thought was.. a good feeling at first.
The sensation people described your entire life finally became real in a way that textbooks never captured properly. It wasn’t the fireworks in your stomach that made it special, It was certainty so absolute it bypassed logic entirely, hitting something deeper than awareness.
The person you’d imagined in lonely moments was right there. The person you thought would feel like warmth and safety and inevitability.
For a fraction of a second, everything in you reached toward him, your heart and soul, who wouldn’t want to know their soulmate?
But it didn’t take long for you to take a huge step back, mentally. Reality finally caught up with the dreams.
Now, you were sort of.. mixed.
The girl tugged at his collar slightly, trying to pull his focus back on her with neediness, but he didn’t move right away. His eyes stayed locked on yours, softening for just a second.
The contradiction was pretty damn clear.
They’re your soulmate, the person since you were born was said to be for you.
But he was kissing someone else right on a wall of some dumbass bar, and said person is still in his arms playing with his fingers.
What if they were more than a hookup? God, you felt so guilty.
You couldn’t blame him for it, it’s not like he knew this would happen. No one is obligated to stay loyal to a soulmate they might never meet either.
It didn’t stop the sting of realizing you’d spent years imagining this moment differently. A lot more softer, something mutual between you two. Instead, you found him like this. You weren’t a mind reader, but watching his facial expression twist gave you some insight.
Was he sorry now? Is that it?
It’s fine, it really was.
You had a flashing thought you assumed couldn’t be possibly when meeting the person for you- unthinkable even.
‘I don’t want to meet him.’
No, even that wasn’t enough for you, nothing could prepare you for that thick feeling of envy for someone who wasn’t even thinking of you when he found her to makeout. So why were you so stuck on him?
Your hand slowly curled against the counter edge until your knuckles went pale. Luffy said something beside you— your name, maybe, but it didn’t fully register.
Ace finally looked at the girl with him on the wall with a distracted gaze, one moment that finally forced you to pull your own away.
You bit the inside of your cheek hard enough to relieve yourself. Luffy turned toward you, finally noticing your expression shift. “Somethin’ wrong?”
You opened your mouth, but there was nothing to say. “I should go,” you tried instead, pushing yourself off the counter, playing your knuckles. “I need air.”
Luffy blinked. “Huh? Why—“
But you were already stepping back. You didn’t see Ace push himself up from the wall, didn’t see his head turn sharply, finally realizing how utterly fucked up that was for a first meet. You didn’t care to see it anymore.
You only felt the touch of pushing the doors open with a hand, deep breath before sitting on the wooden steps of to the bar. The weight of something that was supposed to feel like destiny was crushing you.
The door creaked open behind you, it wasn’t hard, but urgent enough for you to already assume a certain person. Bootsteps on wood, he stopped just right behind you.
There’s a pause, checking if you’ll look first. You don’t, but he already assumed that. The night air feels thick.. salt and spilled ale still clinging to your clothes.
Ace nibbled on his lip before speaking, a hand tugging on his belt. “..Hey.” He said, voice low.
You let out a quiet breath through your mouth, just the idea of it becoming more and more embarrassing for you. “You don’t have to do this.” You say lowly, he could hear the scratch in your throat.
A second of silence told you enough.
“I know,” he says. And that almost makes it worse for the both of you.
You finally glance over your shoulder. He’s standing a few steps away, hat tipped back, freckles visible even in the dim lantern light. Attractive was your first thought, damn it. He wasn’t grinning the way Usopp described, didn’t act as cool as chopper said. But you still liked it.
He runs a hand through his hair, frustrated at himself. “It wasn’t like that.” He tried.
Well at least you knew you weren’t in the middle of a relationship.
You tilted your head back, hands clenched against the edge of the steps without meaning to. “Yeah. I figured.”
For a second, he steps closer, a urge in his body to just move. “I didn’t know you were there. I didn’t know it would be you.”
“Neither did I Ace.” you murmured, touching his name imbedded on your wrist. “But I really wanted to meet you anyway.” You took a breath. “But it’s fine, you don’t owe me anything. How would we know.”
“It’s not fine,” Ace said immediately. “That wasn’t fair to you."
Something in his tone almost cracks your resolve, but not entirely.
“I’m sorry,” Ace continued, this time you could feel how raw it was. “That wasn’t how I would’ve wanted to meet you.”
You shake your head once, steady even if your throat burns. “I don’t want an apology because it now means something.”
“It does mean something,” he insists.
“It didn’t look like it did five minutes ago when I watched from the counter of bar.”
He stayed quiet that time, which felt rare from him.
You look at him, really look at him. There’s something soft there, something that you probably could’ve grown to love despite the fact you pushed him away.
But you won’t be the second thought.
You finally stood up from your spot, taking your time stepping around him to head back towards the bar. “You should say hi to Luffy with me, he’d want to see you—“
Ace’s fingers closed around your wrist before you could pull away completely, not tight. Enough to make you look at him. “Is that it for us?” His expression was open in a way that made it almost hopeful. The kind of look that made your chest ache because you liked it. “It was just a kiss.”
But it wasn’t.
Because some stupid quiet part of you still had hope. Not that he was your soulmate, not necessarily. But that if he kissed someone, it would mean something. That it would be intentional. That it would be someone he chose carefully out of feelings.
Because if kisses were that simple to him.. then what were you waiting for?
You liked this about him, like that about him, you weren’t even given the pleasure of having a little anger towards him. No matter what you did, you would always fall right into his hands.
He said your name like it was question, he only knew it because it was written on his arm. That’s the only thing that kept you there.
Ace couldn’t understand the silence, but somehow he understood you. “Is there something else—“
But he didn’t understand enough of you.
“—It was the most embarrassing fucking moment in my life for me, Ace! That’s the something else.” You hissed, all of those conflicted feelings you had into a single yell of honesty. You blinked, you didn’t mean to. “Shit— I..”
It was silent for a good second, you palmed your glossy eyes, letting out a strained sound.
You spoke more calmly this time, or tried to. “I’ve always wanted to.. meet my soulmate, alright?” You forced a laugh at the last part, feeling how childish it was. “But I also don’t want your pity because I’m upset, I’m still old enough to understand.”
You couldn’t even look at him.
“I just..” you said slowly. “I just need time.”
Time is a concept for different people to grasp.
He didn’t understand you when it came to the idea of soulmates. You both lived in the same world, sure, but you both saw it differently.
Since the day Ace was born, he truly believed that his existence was not worth the cost of living. Too much history just to die.
He had grown up believing that just being alive was already an unfair burden. So the idea that somewhere out there was a person “meant” to love him? That someone would be bound to him by fate?
It felt wrong.
But you were different.
You looked at soulmates like they were hope, something worth waiting for. And when you spoke about it just now, voice shaking, eyes bright with humiliation and hurt— you weren’t angry because it was him.
You were angry because you believed in something he had never let himself believe in.
And he had treated it carelessly.
You weren’t asking him to be your soulmate lover. You weren’t demanding promises or binding words, you just wanted some saving grace.
Fate is such a cruel thing.
It gave him someone who looked at him like he was worth waiting for, and he didn’t know how to hold that without breaking it.
“I will.” He whispered, your name following softly right after. “I’ll give you all the time you need.”
Just please don’t leave me.
—
A/N: having to decide between salt in the wound or sunshine and unicorns in the next part.
