Snark City Central

Can I sell you a fish in these trying times?

[ceruleanheaven]

i dont even know where the bit ends and i begin

[naturalpr3y]

My understanders will Understand me

[naturalpr3y]

and As Such . My misinterpreters will Misinterpret me . The price for speaking my truth .

[teaboot]

what annoys me about explaining evolution to people who don’t think it’s real is that everyone’s idea of how it works seems to be from this

Whereas the reality is far more like

[teaboot]

Was not expecting this many of you to resonate with Millennium Death Plinko

[sufficientlylargen]

One of these days the horse is gonna come out of pinko with opposable thumbs, and then we're all in trouble.

[valtsv]

I love your "they ring the same bells for weddings and funerals" tag bc I work as a bell-ringer at one of the few churches in my city where you still have to ring the bell manually. and we do ring the same bell whether it's a wedding or a funeral! but ☝️ we also ring it if the local sports team wins at sports (the secret third thing that is neither a wedding nor a funeral)

the three universal human experiences: love, death, and sports

[short-for-melancholy]

[horsefigureoftheday]

Nova's tips for beating the heatwave:

1. Check that you have good access to shade trees, a shelter custom made to fit you and all your friends, and plenty of good airflow

2. Find the hottest, sunniest, and least windy part of you pasture and lay down

3. Make sure you look as much as possible like you have died of heatstroke

4. Get your friends in on it

[prince-of-goths]

A horse's biggest purpose in life is to make you think they died

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[turgidturnip]

You don't even need to be a journalist, experts LOVE answering these kinds of questions. I, a regular-degular idiot, recently contacted the Smithsonian asking what kind of ink to use on mineral paper for maximum longevity, and I got a very detailed response in under 48 hours.

[inatungulates]

Mustang Equus caballus

Observed by colocritters, CC BY-NC

[apoemaday]

On the Fifth Day

by Jane Hirshfield

On the fifth day the scientists who studied the rivers were forbidden to speak or to study the rivers.

The scientists who studied the air were told not to speak of the air, and the ones who worked for the farmers were silenced, and the ones who worked for the bees.

Someone, from deep in the Badlands, began posting facts.

The facts were told not to speak and were taken away. The facts, surprised to be taken, were silent.

Now it was only the rivers that spoke of the rivers, and only the wind that spoke of its bees,

while the unpausing factual buds of the fruit trees continued to move toward their fruit.

The silence spoke loudly of silence, and the rivers kept speaking, of rivers, of boulders and air.

Bound to gravity, earless and tongueless, the untested rivers kept speaking.

Bus drivers, shelf stockers, code writers, machinists, accountants, lab techs, cellists kept speaking.

They spoke, the fifth day, of silence.

[kragehund-est]

problematic rage gap. one partner tries to bring nuance and understanding to a tough situation. the other wants to blow up the earth about it.

[dogpuppy]

[nineteenyearoldmeblog]

im fucking crying

[throo]

Wh-what do you mean it’s from a birthday cake

[throo]

We could have been eating him

[valtsv]

me: BRING OUT THE DEATH RAY!!!

*my henchmen wheel a large glass tank containing a tiny stingray into the room*

[valtsv]

captive hero: aww!

me: QUIET! this is the deadliest ray known to man. one milli milli milligram of poison from its sting is enough to stop a grown man's heart in under a minute! and he answers only to me! behold your DOOM!

stingray: *nudges my hand*

me, getting down on my knees in front of the tank so i can look him in the eyes: Mortimer, please. i'm trying to be intimidating here.

[valtsv]

you will

[supreme-leader-stoat]

"Hm, I've already established that this nation in my story has a lot of sunflowers as a background detail, I should take five minutes real quick to see what those can be used for."

🎶You can eat the stalks! You can eat the leaves! You can eat the petals! You can eat the seeds! You can eat the tubers! Turn 'em into booze! Go and plant some sunflowers! If you don't you lose! 🎶

[hst3000]

They’re also one of the few plants which can reclaim fallout.

[supreme-leader-stoat]

They also scrub radiation and heavy metals from their environment, yeah.

[supreme-leader-stoat]

Target audience reached.

[asteroidtroglodyte]

There are no “Wild” Sunflowers. There are feral colonies of Sunflowers that have escaped containment or are leftover from vacated farmland, but Sunflower is/was a fully domesticated plant.

[asteroidtroglodyte]

If you’d like to know more:

Eastern Agricultural Complex - Wikipedia

Eastern Agricultural Complex - Wikipedia

[asteroidtroglodyte]

If you liked that, I have exciting news for you about Citrus

Citrus - Wikipedia

Citrus - Wikipedia

“Domestication of citrus species involved much hybridization and introgression, leaving much uncertainty about when and where domestication first happened”

[firagasoap]

Broccoli Knuckle Duster by David Delahunty

[ma-gpie]

[cryptotheism]

I love the hagiographies that are like "St. Christopher was 12 feet tall and frost giants helped him build an abbey out of the bones of a giant pig, which were gold"

And then you Google the abbey and it's clearly just French and made of slate rock or whatever.

[thegreateyeofsauron]

pig giant bones turn slate and french after a few years

[cryptotheism]

that makes sense

[laterkiss]

i have this deadly sickness called remembering

[catball]

all my haters become cicaders when i enter the summer of success