Snark City Central

Can I sell you a fish in these trying times?

[animentality]

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

they killed him for this

[di--es---can-ic-ul-ar--es]

ME AND WHO

[shieldfoss]

#why do they call it the little death if not to remind you to do a post mortem.

lmao

[closertotheheartofthesunrise]

no no @nogoodhorsethief, you have something here

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Chickens love to peck at hard things to make a variety of interesting sounds and my new ladies have just discovered The Tin Fence.

[beka-tiddalik]

They're also a big fan of Chipped Ceramic Plate if you feel like experimenting

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Ooh I have some leftover floor tile fragments, I should give them some of those.

[nipple-brains]

I've seen people give their chooks kids you xylophones and they love them!!

[welcometothejunkpile]

Mine are a big fan of sealed plastic bucket of water sealant paint that we haven't moved yet.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

My old hens loved Window and every day I feel blessed that my new ones haven't discovered it yet.

[spinachwrap]

Mine have an old mirror, parrot toy with tiny bell, metal toy pan. All of these things make fun sounds when pecked 👍

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I should get them a wind chime

[ladydei]

Idk you may quickly regret Wind Chime

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I regret my chickens every day

[astercontrol]

TIL any chicken coop can be an entire all-percussion orchestra bangin out the tunes

[snat-snailcat]

Reblogging this a second time bc my baby girls got a new xylophone and I have to share it with the class

Banging out some tunes fr

[kedreeva]

Spoiled? What makes you ask that

[kedreeva]

Mantis had been standing bedside me biting me and making annoyed noises because I was not pestering her, so I got more annoying

[kedreeva]

#important question ✋ are they Soft#bc like chicken are kinda soft but not kitty cat soft yknow. and i assume they must be like chicken feather texture#Are The Peas Soft 🎤 (via @sentienceoverload-29)

Practically every single person who has ever pet one of my peafowl has softly exclaimed "Oh, they're so soft!" so I feel safe in declaring that they are, indeed, soft, or at least that they feel very soft to many people.

But, there are definitely chickens who are softer than others, like a rooster is not soft a rooster is smooth, but has Textures because you can feel the shafts of the feathers, or because the iridescence is structural and that structure has Texture. A big, fluffy cochin hen is going to feel different than a cemani hen or a silkie hen or a frizzle.

If you pet a peahen down the back, she is Incredibly Soft. 11/10 can recommend. Her neck is smooth with very soft bumpy texture as you go over the scallop feathers in front.

If you pet a peacock down his neck, it is like petting a wire-haired dog that has been rolled in corn starch. 0/10 petting experience. Same for his train. But his back and wings are all smooth/soft, and the butt fluff is downy soft.

So it really depends on where you are petting them and which bird it is.

[kedreeva]

#she's enjoying it so much#i mean. i assume. i assume there would be discontented peahen noises otherwise (via @schwazombie)

If she didn't like it, she would simply walk away from me! They do have distress noises, but they're usually either warning noises or panic nosies during restraint. I am seated in an Adirondack chair, with no way to force her to stand there or tolerate me annoying her, and even when petting her I am not restraining her movement. They have a 1200sq/ft flight pen + a, 8x24' coop, and my chair is in one corner, opposite the coop so I'm basically as far away from anything central as I can get. They choose to come over and interact (or sometimes they don't, and we just hang in different areas of the pen), and Mantis often chooses violence (biting me over and over again) to get my attention and get pet.

You'll also notice that I ask for permission twice- once when I hold out a finger and once when I hold out my hand palm up. Both of these are gestures that, for us, mean "May I pet?" and you'll also notice that she holds still when I do those gestures- that's permission, waiting for me to pet. This was a while ago; we're at the point now that when she comes up looking for treats I will say "Just pets" and she'll stop looking for treats and hold still to get a beak rub. You can see her at the end reaching for my hand with her beak, that's her trying to ask me to keep going (hence why no asking permission first there).

These are, despite what some people think, intelligent birds. They have social structures and rules, and some form of communication that humans can participate in if they are patient and observant.

So yep! She is definitely enjoying the interaction- she initiated it and is having a great time getting what she wanted.

[hearteyesmcgarrett]

what if we were both cowboys. and we were both gay. and this town was big enough for the two of us

[only-cat-memes]

[forgwater]

[kedreeva]

Mantis is SUCH a pretty bird, and because Bug raised her, she's also the best of both worlds- wants to be pet by humans, easily hangs out with the other birds. Lets me put 4-leaf clovers on her head like a hat so I can take cute photos of her.

[kaenith]

Felt compelled to draw this magical scene <3

[kedreeva]

#A peacock named Mantis!!#I am living two lives!#Mantis is beautiful!! (via @ambermantis)

you're living three lives. I call her mom "bug" as a nickname but her name name is Amber. the world is small and full of love :)

[spaceboytoy]

Hello bisexual community

[spaceboytoy]

Begin killing

[tartrazeen]

[kygerbearr]

mid-conversation I toss a pistol onto the table not to suggest or imply anything but just to change the situation a little

[rylandsgrace]

This is cinema actually

[cinematicnomad]

#I love how ali looms as a threatening force the entire video #and she does try to commit murder suicide #absolute cinema (via @dragoonthegreat)

[farmgf]

IT’S SPRINGTIME YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. PASS THE INSTRUCTIONS ON NOT GIVING UP BY ADA LIMÓN

[farmgf]

IT’S THE GREENING OF THE TREES THAT REALLY GETS TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!

[powerbottombrucespringsteen]

The thing with amateur local theater is it is almost always bad BUT keeping it alive is the most important thing

[powerbottombrucespringsteen]

The joys of artistic expression cannot be limited to talented people everybody needs it to survive

[parkchanwoohoo]

The facial expressions of everyone trying not to lose it are killing me

[gunsandfireandshit]

This is painfully American

[dirtbaby2016]

Americans be like it is totally normal for an entire stadium (including military members) to stand at attention while a fast food clown mascot sings the national anthem

[unstablebill]

when we say "it is functionally impossible to parody Americans in a way that will actually insult them" this is the sort of thing you're up against. is your sick burn funnier than corporation burger clown sing national anthem baseball game? no?? of course it isn't.

[heartofaspen]

i love it and hate it when a character in a story is so obviously created to be cool and awesome and then i do think they're cool and awesome. like fuck, yeah, ok, they're fucking epic. swag as hell. you got me you coolbaited me ok? i'm coolbaited.

[bloodstainedgauntlet]

my knight you have to live you have to get up you have to put your hand over your wound and hold it there. you have to keep walking and walking and walking because you cannot lay down yet, it’s not time. wipe the blood off your breastplate and look up into the sun. lean on your sword if you need to. lift one foot after another. get up. get up. this would be a pitiful grave.

[safety-data-sheet]

“This would be a pitiful grave” is now my new go-to when I’m sad or upset. God that’s fire