devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes

victoria lambert. 23. studio art major. student #46. she/they.

[noahshreds-a]

INCORRECT QUOTES( ft @victorialambert​ & @jewelhqs)

[victorialambert]

noahshreds​:

this is the most fun that noah has had with victoria since their seattle date. cheeks sore from all the smiling a gentle reminder of all the reasons she actually liked spending time with victoria. before they added feelings into the mix they actually had a lot of fun together. “ oh we can make all of the vacationers so jealous with our little easels and things. ” she giggled moving a bit closer so she could help catch the piece before it tipped to the side. “ why would i deny it ? ” cocky as always she couldn’t help but take the bait. “ you and me both doll, i’ve always wanted to have a full blown swayze moment so you’re makin’ my dreams come true here. ” 

this and painting, they could definitely get behind and mostly it was just fun getting to know what else noah liked to do. “don’t get your hopes up, i don’t usually show anyone my pieces unless it’s for class of course but all my pieces in the gallery are under anonymous for a reason.” it’s a good thing that noah can’t see her directly, because the feeling of closeness, was making it harder on victoria, she couldn’t help the blush that appeared.  she laughed at her words, it was definitely something the blonde would say, cocky as ever. her eyes don’t leave the piece, watching the other take the lead. “don’t kill me, but i’ve actually never seen the movie, like of course i know what it’s about and i’ve seen like parts and i know this is a big part of it but i don’t actually knows why it’s so important.”

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[victorialambert]

noahshreds​:

her eyebrows raise at their comment tempted to ask more about it but she tucked it away for another day. “ sure ! ” she chirped lighting up at the idea of the two of them painting together. “ sounds like a good time. ” she ponders victoria’s logic in silence. in a way they had a point, she’d never thought they weren’t perfectly put together until she started spending more time with them, on the other hand she couldn’t help but wonder if that was her clothes or just her energy. “ a few classes and lots of hours of practice. ” she corrected using her knee to push their leg down on the peddle to pick up speed. “ this isn’t the first time i’ve been down here working on something or another. ” 

they’re glad that the blonde didn’t ask them about it, glad that their entire conversation is light and fun and nothing about how they are feeling, it’s like they can breath around noah again. “okay, just text me when you find time for me and we can set it up on the dock or something.” for someone who is trying to stay away and have some space, they sure are terrible at it. “still, you’re really good, you can’t deny that,” she cannot think about how the brush of her leg on bare skin makes her feel, there’s no doubt how attracted she feels but now was not the time for that. it was just a friend showing another friend how to work a messy machine that she’s sure is gonna ruin her clothes if she isn’t careful. “i’ve actually never been here so i didn’t really know what to expect but i’m glad you’re here to show me the way.”

[victorialambert]

noahshreds​:

of course the thought of sleeping with noah again was fine, they let them self give into temptation in the middle of the night but actually doing, that would be something they wouldn’t be able to go back from. sex with someone they didn’t have feelings for was just as easy as taking their clothes off for thousands of people on cam but sex with someone they did like, that wasn’t close to being the same. now that she was standing in noah’s room with her back to the door, she had much to think about but that left as soon as lips touched her neck and when they kissed again, her hand came up to the back of the other’s head. oh, god, where the fuck did that come from? "baby, please,” she leaned in, her nose glazing across her jawline to the shell of her ear, “i need you so fucking bad.”

[victorialambert]

noahshreds​:

glad they couldn’t see her eyes rolling at the mention of victoria and her brother together. trying to play it off with a small huff, “ you’d have better luck with cooper than keithan. he’s been dating the same girl since middle school. ” she’s not really trying to make them feel flustered. the last time she did that they wound up in her bedroom and for once she just wanted to be around victoria not take their clothes. “ sounds good then you’ll be stuck with me for even longer. ” she wasn’t even bad at painting she just wanted an excuse to see them more often. “ are you going to let me in on the secret meaning ? ” she whispers back always wanting to know the other sides of victoria. “ nope that’s perfect. ” grabbing their hands using the their hands to round out the top of the vase. 

“i was only kidding but um, no thanks, plus, i’m not into guys right now.” that does not mean anything, should not mean anything. “if you want,” they started nonchalantly, their voice a little lower than they would like, god it wasn’t like it was a date or something, “we could go painting sometime this week.” “there’s nothing much to it, if i look good, clean and boring on the outside, no one would think i have anything going on because if i look this put together then i’ll have to be on the inside too, right?” she’s not really asking but it come out into the universe anyways. “i’m jealous,” she lets out a laugh, her mind focused on the project in front of her when the clay come rushing under her fingers, “you’re this good after a couple classes?”

[glitchpaladin]

[victorialambert]

noahshreds​:

she spent a lot of years of her life feeling like a doll for her mother to dress up and play with if and when she felt like it. when she didn’t noah was put back on a shelf until she wanted her again. it left her with a raw wound that she bandaged by both completely giving up control, if and when she felt safe to do so, or taking control of someone else. there’s something very addicting about knowing that she could have victoria eating out of the palm of her hand. “ my place it is. ” she smirked as victoria grabbed their hand letting them lead her out of the library. 

the walk between the library and noah’s cabin didn’t seem closes enough and the stares don’t even bother victoria because they have an ache that the other can only fix. when they get to her door, she has her hands by her sides again, wondering when she lost all self control when it came to the blonde and if she thinks about it, she knows it’s before the library. she doesn’t say anything because it could ruin everything so they just wait until she’ll let her in and continue what they had going on in the library and she hopes that things don’t end there for them.

[victorialambert]

noahshreds​:

“ well look at us having things in common. ” she winked with a grin. she couldn’t help but laught at how surprised victoria was. maybe it’d only been obvious to her that they’d work together. “ only if i can come to you for help with the dreaded decorating stage of ceramics. i’ve never been great at painting, probably because i’m a perfectionist and you can’t start over with paint you just have to go with it and who does that ? ” there was an air of levity to her words though she was dead serious about her extreme dislike of painting. “ you don’t have to look completely together to be cute. ” scooting backwards to make room for victoria grabbing their hands to dip them in the nearby dish of water. “ you’re going to press that little peddle down there to turn the wheel. ” 

“that’s awkward, i was talking about your brother and i,” she teased a little bit, ”you definitely would still come in first place, if it came down to it.” how were they ever just gonna be friends when noah was driving them insane with everything she was doing? does she even know how hard it is to ignore the way she says and do things that make them feel light headed? “the thing about paint is that yes most of the time, you can’t have mistakes but if you do, there’s still some way to make it look even better at the end. we can call it a deal, i don’t mind showing you a few tricks.” it’s no secret that she use her clothes to hide things she doesn’t want anyone to see. she tells herself if she dresses the way she does, no one wonder just how much of a mess she is on the inside. “it’s not just to look cute,” she whispered, not daring to look up to the other. her hands are a little stiff when the other holds onto them to dip into the water. she slightly presses it watching the clay piece speed in a circle, “is that , okay? do i need to go faster?”

[victorialambert]

elijah-wilsxn​:

open starter ( @seasstarts​ )

“the next time i plan on drinking, make sure i don’t. my head is killing me.” eli grumbled as he rubbed his temples. 

“i think everyone says that and then continue to make the bad choice of doing it again but okay, next time, i’ll be more firm when you’re drowning the line of shots.”

[wordsnquotes]

I notice you, I want to say. Even when no one else does, I do. I will.

David Levithan, Every Day (via wordsnquotes)

@victorialambert

(via asherandrews)

[victorialambert]

ofsilvas​:

“you  can’t  stop  me  ,  i’ll  stand  here  right  now  and  shed  a  few  tears  .   “   he  joked  ,  bringing  the  straw  from  his  milkshake  up  to  his  lips  and  sucking  ,  drinking  some  of  the  chocolate  flavored  shake  he  had  ordered  .  usually  he  wasn’t  a  shake  guy  but  this  milkshake  really  was  one  of  the  best  fucking  milkshakes  he  had  ever  had  .  then  again  ,  maybe  it  was  because  he  was  high  off  his  ass  but  that  was  besides  the  point  .  leaning  his  head  back  as  his  back  was  pressed  against  the  railing  ,  cassidy  let  the  breeze  hit  his  skin  before  raising  his  head  back  up  to  look  at  victoria  .  eyes  on  them  as  she  let  everything  out  .  it  seemed  like  everything  came  tumbling  out  of  them  .     ⏤     pushing  himself  off  the  railing  ,  cassidy  walked  over  to  one  of  the  lounge  chairs  before  sitting  down  ,  his  legs  coming  off  the  side  ,  feet  planted  on  the  ground  .  patting  the  spot  next  to  him  on  the  chair  ,  he  looked  over  at  victoria  .   “   take  a  seat  in  my  office  ,  v  .   “   he  said  ,  giving  the  spot  a  few  more  pats  .  he  felt  like  she  needed  to  sit  ,  catch  her  breath  .   “ i  get  it  .  when  you  like  someone  and  you’re  sure  of  it  ,  it  doesn’t  feel  great  knowing  that  they’re  talking  to  other  people  or  that  they  aren’t  as  sure  as  you  .   “   he  began  ,  he’d  been  through  a  version  of  that  .  he  wasn’t  sure  if  it  was  exactly  the  same  but  no  matter  the  situation  ,  it  didn’t  mean  it  didn’t  hurt  or  fuck  with  someone’s  head  a  little  despite  how  innocent  all  parties  were  .  feelings  were  weird  like  that  ,  better  yet  ,  they  were  confusing  as  fuck  .   “   you’re  not  crazy  for  feeling  a  little  hurt  by  it  but  the  sucky  part  is  we  can’t  expect  people  to  be  as  ready  as  we  might  be  in  the  moment  .  sometimes  you  gotta  decide  if  you’re  willing  to  wait  and  be  there  as  the  other  person  figures  themself  out  or  if  you’re  not  willing  to  ‘cause  it’d  hurt  too  much  .   “   he  rambled  ,  unsure  if  it  made  any  real  sense  but  to  him  it  did  .   “   and  listen  ,  i  don’t  know  what  happened  with  asher  but  unless  noah  asks  ,  i  don’t  see  why  you’d  have  to  explain  yourself  ?  she’s  allowed  to  do  what  she  wants  and  you’re  allowed  to  do  what  you  wanna  do  .  if  she’s  figuring  things  out  ,  keeping  things  light  .  you  can  do  the  same  .  and  i’m  sure  she  would  agree  with  that  .   “   maybe  he  was  all  wrong  ,  only  knowing  bits  and  pieces  of  a  story  but  it  felt  like  victoria  was  holding  herself  to  an  impossible  standard  and  he  didn’t  want  her  to  beat  herself  up  for  it  .

it was nicer having a shake at this time of year, it was something they haven’t had for so long and the weather made it so that it didn’t melt as fast but they deserved a cheat day and honestly, they were too high to really deny them self of something so good. “you’re so dumb,” victoria said as they rolled their eyes but a second later they tired not to knock the table down as they made their way towards him, carefully sitting down beside him. “i love the new place,” they played along with a smile as the took a sip of their drink. “i just, i didn’t want to get hurt again so i told her i can’t have feelings for her anymore and i knew that if  we slept together the second time i wouldn’t be able to lie to myself and say that it wouldn’t mean anything but it does and i feel myself slipping back into this thing with her and it sucks because the last time i told her i liked her, it ended up in a fight and i’m just so fucking sick of fighting with everyone.” it was draining them of everything they had and it was just easier to give in and just do what they wanted, even if that means that they’re back to square one with noah and god, the part where they dont talk about each other’s feelings anymore really fucking helps. "the thing is, i can wait. i can wait months if that’s what she wants and if she’s just trying to figure herself out but if there’s other people, what am i really waiting for? what if i hold onto her and then she develop these deeper feelings for someone else? i don’t think i would be able to hold onto an idea of what could be,” she’s not asking for noah to just forget them, although, that would be nice butshe wants to know if she could see them as something long term or something serious. “with asher i just wished that all it had been was us being platonic. it’s kind of shitty but i told him to keep it from her so great minds think alike,” she let out a short laugh, “now i’m just feeling guilty about it because i regret it, mostly the almost sleeping with him part and i just want to tell her but she’ll probably hate me forever especially now that she’s acting like a lot nicer to me.” victoria still doesn’t understand where it’s coming from, like now when she had decided that she wasn’t going to have feelings for her anymore. “maybe it’s just the sex, i don’t know. okay, it’s probably just the sex.”

[victorialambert]

noahshreds​:

“ me either but my brother’s into painting and the only way i could get him to hang out with me when i was growing up was to paint with him but there was a while he had a thing for this potter. he made me go to a bunch of the guys classes as a buffer and i guess it just sorta became my thing… ” eyebrows raising as they piled their hair onto the top of their head. “ so you got all cute just to leave ? that’s a bit rude don’t you think. ” she teased with a wink before nodded them over. “ c’mere you dork. do you wanna help me finish this ? ”

“oh, i love painting, it’s one of my favorite hobbies,” they pointed out with a soft smile, now they’re picturing what it would be like if they shared each other’s hobbies, how it would be like to share their art with noah. “ceramics is your thing? does that mean i get to come to you for help?” they blushed a bit, “stop it, i’m not cute, it’s like the end of the day and my clothes probably look out of place.” she didn’t think of changing into fresh clothes because who would she see in there? now she regrets looking like a mess in front of the blonde. “sure but you’ll have to teach me, i don’t know how to work the wheel,” she removes her sweater, setting it down on the chair along with her bag before she pulls up her long sleeve and taking a seat in between the girl and the wheel.

[victorialambert]

noahshreds​:

holy shit that was beautiful. she liked knowing that she could elicit any kind of reaction from victoria let alone one that sounded so heavenly. pressing another kiss to their lips knowing that sound would play in her head for the rest of the day. when she pulls away her grasp relaxes just a bit though the pad of her thumb slow circles rubs against their throat a small grin tugging at her lips at the feel of their pulse under her grip. “ i didn’t say you couldn’t grind onto it. ” she teased with a grin making no attempt to move her hand. “ i have no problem with getting you all wound up but you’re not going to cum here for anyone to see. some things should be for my eyes only. ”

the thing was, even when they weren’t in control, they were in control or at least make it seem like they were but that little action had took them for surprise and it felt so damn good. the kiss was sweeter this time or maybe her head is clouded and when the other pulled away, their head tilted back until it hit the books in bliss as the other played with the skin there and it’s heaven, a hand came up to noah’s wrist, not to pull her hand away but so that victoria had something to grip on. she really wished that she didn’t say that because now that’s all she can think about, it would be so easy to just buckle her hips with a yes but victoria was not about to get edged only to make her way to the cabin. “god, okay, fuck,” it takes everything in her to push the other way. “your place,” picks up her bag as she grabbed the other’s hand and the lack of works probably gives away how turned on she is but she doesn’t care.

[victorialambert]

ofsilvas​:

because  of  their  previous  conversation  via  text  messages  ,  cassidy  knew  that  victoria  wasn’t  feeling  the  best  about  things  ,  about  themself  and  the  relationships  she  was  surrounded  by  .  he  also  knew  that  she  was  punishing  themself  for  whatever  reason  ,  that  she  was  struggling  when  it  came  to  what  was  going  on  in  their  head  and  what  she  felt  about  it  all  .  at  least  ,  that’s  what  he  had  gathered  from  their  text  messages  .  who  knew  ?  maybe  he  read  it  all  wrong  and  he  was  wrong  in  what  he  was  thinking  but  he  had  a  pretty  good  feeling  .   “   i  don’t  know  if  i  should  be  hurt  or  not  that  you’ve  forgot  all  about  yours  truly  .   “   he  joked  ,  a  laugh  leaving  his  lips  as  he  turned  around  and  leaned  his  back  against  the  railing  .  turning  his  head  to  look  at  victoria  as  she  began  to  spill  out  what  was  on  her  mind  .   “   so  you  have  feelings  for  noah  ?  like  actual  feelings  ?  not  just  a  crush  or  a  benefit  type  of  thing  ?   “   he  asked  ,   “   how  do  you  feel  about  asher  ?  do  you  like  him  too  ?   “   cassidy  questioned  ,  not  trying  to  be  nosey  but  trying  to  know  more  about  all  the  confusion  she  was  going  through  in  her  head  ,  to  help  understand  .

“don’t be a baby, casidy ” they said with a playful pout. she looked down at the shake, that was one third gone and she wondered if she should answer but who else can she talk to that can understand her besides him? “yes, i like her, i even told her but i think i was just feeling too much too soon and she just wasn’t where i was at yet. then she told me she liked me too but how can she say that and then go on flirting with other people? the moment i felt something real with her, i stopped whatever i was feeling for anyone else. and that had hurt me, like god, it was just bringing back things that i thought you had done to me and i didn’t want to repeat that so i shut my feelings for her off but a part of me was still attracted to her so i started sleeping with her because it seemed like that was the only way to not feel anything but that’s not working and now i did that thing with asher and i just know she would never forgive me for that.” i felt good to let it out but she was still feeling like there was nothing she could do now to fix it. “whatever i felt for asher before, it’s gone now. for me, i knew that he felt some kind of way for me but on my end, it was only just friendship, it was all of that was and i don’t know maybe i was caught in the moment. but now? i feel disgusted with myself just thinking about what happened the last time i saw him.”

[victorialambert]

you have something on your mind

“True, how much longer will this semester drag on?”

[victorialambert]

you're worried about something

“You don’t know me very well if you have to ask that.”