Nicky

🪷What’s life without whimsy? 🪷

[minsungsuwu]

[vielle-mnsng]

Light It Up For Me, Brighter, More Please.

It was supposed to be an ordinary day during Spring, when Han Jisung accidentally captures Lee Minho.

AO3

Tags: Romance. Drama. Slow Burn. Heavy Angst.Domestic Fluff. Friendship/Love. Soulmates. Non-Graphic Smut

I wrote this fic over a year ago, and I just thought I'd share it here. :) i hope you it. Please tell me your thoughts after hehe ✨️

[tokidokifish]

i found a ship tag on ao3 with 77 fics and 76 of them were by one person

be the change you want to see in the world

[protectingstucky]

when stray kids in 2 kids room said “i hope you won’t make yourself unhappy in order to make others happy, that’s my biggest wish” and when they said “when i think about you, i feel like i have another reason to live” and when they said “i’m not afraid to do anything when you’re with me” and when they said “they’re like twins, like real brothers” and when they said “so that’s what you think of me” “what do you even know?” and when they said “you’re weird” “no i’m not” “i like weird” and when they said “i was really tired yesterday” “yeah i joked around a lot to make you laugh” “you did that for me?” and when they said “don’t bottle things up, i’m always here to listen, you can tell me if you need an ear” and when they said "regardless of our friendship, you are someone i want to learn from" and when they said “you have the power to heal other people’s wounds with just a few words” and when they said “i listen to everyone, but i listen to you the most" and when they said “you’re my parents’ favorite” and when they said “thank you so much for protecting us, it’s not an easy thing to do” and when they said “because of you i am who i am” and when they said-

[hyunsung]

han jisung (23) bad at making eye contact

bonus: *panics*

[incorrectskzquotes]

[going to bed]

Jisung: I love you.

Minho: I love you too.

[awkward silence]

Jisung: We both love you as well, Hyunjin.

Hyunjin, in the middle of the bed: Thanks, I was feeling a little left out.

[stray-but-okay]

He’s always prepared

[jisungsjaistandjeekies]

[urheartsamess]

the hours, michael cunningham

[kurtstiel]

my favourite part of between us so far is that win doesn't try to convince or pressure team into sex. he might show up at team's room to give him food or drag him off to eat breakfast with him but he never pushes when it comes to intimacy. win makes the offer and then walks away and lets team come to him, he lets team decide whether or not he wants it and team knows he's free to walk away at any point

the ongoing consent check between them both has been a breath of fresh air to watch

[heretherebedork]

Win really did say consent is sexy and then just went ahead and seduced Team with sheer consent.

[williamrikers]

⬜ single

⬜ taken

✅ waiting for a smoking hot mafia guy to kidnap me, torture me to the brink of death, nurse me back to health, open up about his daddy issues, form a deeply unhealthy mutually unbreakable psychological bond with me, get shot in front of me after i keep him from killing himself, validating his kinks and promising not to leave him in the process, and tell me i am the most important person in the world to him while he's in recovery at the hospital a month later

[gunsatthaphan]

“You don’t like me?”

[sins-spookyboogie]

Let us pause and examine the range of emotions (and the believability of those) Build Jakapan gave us during the final EP.

The same way we are astounded by Bible's ability to bring us the most complex and unique character like Vegas with KP being his first role . We should be giving Build his due . Kinnporsche was his first major role in a series . He worked so hard to find Pete and deliver him to us.

Collage credit : kimaya-shekhawat

[tiedanklestotheocean]

[heretherebedork]

The connection of food and domesticity and abuse is a powerful one and it plays so deeply into the relationship that Vegas and Pete are slowly building and creating. It's a relationship that grows with them but also breaks with them and around them.

We see Vegas amuse himself by giving Pete a snack when he's watching him the first time, see him tease his knowledge about him and what he's doing. Food is a tease, a joke, a way of showing Pete that he knows but also of mocking Pete, the condom that he grabs out of the bag symbolic of his own amusement at this.

The first torture scenes we got in the safehouse were about Pete refusing to eat and asking for death, Vegas using the food as humiliation, as proof that he is less than human, barely even a pet. The slop was not made to be anything, was to do nothing but keep Pete alive so he could be tortured.

The first scene after we saw worry and a shared understanding was when Vegas brought the noodles and Pete ate and Vegas got frustrated that he thought he might be poisoned and showed him the food was safe.

That was the first time that Vegas smiled at something Pete actively did, the first time Vegas saw something in Pete that made him happy. Vegas takes a chance at providing something for him and it is the first thing that makes him smile after his exile and blacklisting. This is the first steps of Vegas realizing that he can take care of someone, of something, that he can do do things for other people and not be beaten down for it.

Then we get to the point that he's in the kitchen, watching a video about cooking, trying to make something exactly to Pete's taste, to make as a treat, to make it beautiful. Has Vegas ever truly cooked before? He's certainly never made food with care before. He's never decorated a plate before. He's never been proud of his food before.

And then his father destroys it. Not just destroys it but doesn't even care that he destroys it, doesn't care that he just proved to Vegas that he cannot take care of Pete. The cycle of abuse is still wrapped around his throat and he cannot break out, he cannot give Pete was he wants to give him and if he cannot then he cannot do anything.

He makes noodles but when Pete doesn't eat them he lashes out, he breaks down, because all Vegas sees in himself in the failure that his father has told him always is, is the food on the floor and ruined by his hand and worthless. The noodles were not the choice he wanted. Vegas was trying to choose Pete with his food and he failed and so he falls apart... only to see Pete fall apart in response.

Then we get the parallel scenes of them with their food crying, Pete back with the main family and Vegas knowing that he is back where he is safe, where he wanted to be, away from. Both of them are in agony, though, despite what has happened and despite having food in front of them that they would normally love.

Pete has the noodles, the same type that Vegas made, a taste now familiar thanks to memories he doesn't want but also desires and pain that sinks so deeply into him that he cannot avoid or pretend it isn't happening. Pete clutches his marks and he cries because he wants but he cannot accept.

Vegas has food spread in front of him as he sits at the foot of the bed he shared with Pete. Do you think he bothered to clean up Pete's blood? Is he sitting and staring at the stains that he will leave there forever, the marks of Pete's existence. Vegas cries because Pete has gone back and he cannot go back and he has food but he does not eat.

Food is one of the things that abusers very often control. Access, quantity, safety, type, when and where and how food exists.

Food started as a torture method, as a form of a control, as proof of where Pete existed in relation to Vegas. Then it became a form of affection only for that to be broken by the cycle of abuse, for what was trying to be a symbol of love to be destroyed and then to start the cycle again. And then food became a memory, a wish, a dream, something connected to the good moments and the painful moments.

Someday in the future, Vegas will be able to prepare a meal for Pete and he will present it to him and he will be so, so scared but Pete will smile and the food will be there, will be on their table and they will share in food that they prepared and they will be together and they will be safe and they will be chosen.

[myezblog]

Ep 13 KinnPorsche - What really broke Pete and Why it had to happen like this

What broke Pete

We saw Pete being electrocuted and what not, but he never lost his appetite, or his fighter spirit, or his talking to self comedy. Then, why so sad post s3x.

We ended ep 12 with Pete’s smile. He kissed because he realized he likes this man. He made love for the first time. And, he was happy to see his man being happy in his company.

We start ep 13 with a visibly depressed Pete. Scars have lessened. Bandages are gone. Lying position is different. Hands are handcuffed. Pants are different. Clearly, this is not a continuation. V X P have been having s3x. Yet, Pete is sad.

******************************

Pete’s perspective

Pete is falling in love with each passing moment. He should hate his situation, but he is finding himself enjoying it as long as Vegas is around. And, Pete knows this is not the right feeling he should have in this captive scenario.

AND YET this is not what broke him. 

What really pushed Pete over the edge was the feeling of falling irrevocably in love with someone, giving that person your everything, and making a fool of yourself. Because, that person does not reciprocate Pete’s feelings. Infact, from Pete’s perspective, that person just considers Pete as a mere object of s3x, a pet to seek comfort, a recipient of bipolar emotional outbursts. Pete is just a meaningless existence. And, this is heartbreaking. 

This heartbreak is not only driving Pete to feel worthless, but just making him feel disgusted with himself. All he is seeking in this episode is “I love you”, but what he hears is “You are sexy”, “You are a fool”, “i need you”, “don’t leave me”, “You are my pet”. “Don’t think you can say anything because we had s3x”, a noodle bowl which is not edible, start over but with chains

I do think had Pete gotten his heartfelt “I love you”, he would have stayed. His mood would have changed.

The sad part is.. in all those lines Vegas was indeed saying I love you

**************************************

Vegas’ perspective

You are sexy ( I have never felt anything like this before, and trust you me because i have slept with so many)

You are a fool ( my fool, how are you so different, you are too good for this world); Vegas’s smile during opening sequence is so giddy in love smile

I need you - but Vegas’ need is his lifeline.. not a time pass or need of the hour.

Don’t leave me - i can’t breathe..

And as we do find, Pete finally accepts Vegas the moment Vegas says “You can’t shoot me and you know why. I am sorry” … he knows Vegas is talking Love. He also knows that Vegas has risked everything to meet him. Vegas has come out of hiding to a place where Kinn’s men are (after all tankhun is here, Porsche is here.. but ofcourse there are bodyguards and security and kinn’s surveillance)

And from Vegas’ perspective … he is not here to say stay with me, accept me.. none of that.. he really does want to apologize… he wants to make sure Pete knows that he is not like everyone else for Vegas.. he is special.. he is the man Vegas fell in love with.. and Vegas can risk anything for him.

The lyrics on screen in their individual cryfest scene fit both of them very well and give their perspective. 

Vegas is in love but knows Pete does not love him back. Pete would prefer to not have Vegas in his life. He wants Pete to know that he misses all of it… and he wasn’t having s3x , he was making love

Pete is in love and thinks Vegas does not care…but he would like to be in clear…he can’t take the heartbreak and being made into a fool.. 

**************************

Opening Sequence

Both are in different places. They think they are being obvious, but they aren’t. Here, Pete atleast thinks it is a one sided emotion and it is making him miserable.

Vegas is full of admiration… a strong attraction he does not want to name.

A compliment from the one you love, but it hurts. “You are sexy” (lust, physical). The choice of words can be very hurtful depending on emotions. From Pete’s perspective, he gives a lukewarm “mmm”… (Right, I am after all here to just fulfill your physical requirements and desires. Who am I, a nobody)

While we get an expressionless “Mmm” from Pete…look at Vegas. He has just complimented the man he is falling for, he is smiling.. his feelings behind “You are sexy” are so different… you are alluring, i have never felt this way with anyone else (and believe you me because i have slept with many)

***************************************

Yok’s Bar - some details are just magnificent

The show is reminding you, Vegas hasn’t changed for the world. He HAS ONLY Changed for Pete (and i guess that’s the journey for his character to change for Pete and that means change for the world)