Xantcha's Legacy never misses.
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@vigilantsera
Xantcha's Legacy never misses.
My Trynn, Champion of Freedom told me Silvar, Devourer of the Free keep eating her 1/1 white Human Solder creature tokens so I asked how many 1/1 white Human Solder creature tokens she has and she said she just goes to the end step and gets a new 1/1 white Human Solder creature tokens afterwards so I said it sounds like she’s just feeding 1/1 white Human Solder creature tokens to Silvar, Devourer of the Free and then her player started crying.
emrakul x elesh norn
what if we touched each other's bodies and minds in ways that will leave us both irrecoverably changed. what if that's love
quit laying solitary eggs with penniless dregs and come lay healthy clutches with a wealthy duchess
I've been playing a lot of SOS limited and I noticed an interaction that I think you'd find amusing. I was curious what non-Pest creatures were in SOS to be potentially bolstered by Blech, Loafing Pest, 'cause I didn't think there were any. There are two, and one of them is Scathing Shadelock, who is both 1) a person and 2) a Silverquill. Do you think they would be offended by that counter?
“Blech, you…What are you doing!”
Dina hurried over to where her college’s mascot was busy accosting a naga mage in a Silverquill jacket. The second student managed to shake Blech from his fancy coattails, just as the Witherbloom dryad drew near to pull the pest away.
“I’m so sorry about that, Ambrose!” Dina yelped apologetically. “I have no idea what got into Blech, here. Is your jacket okay?”
The naga bristled as he shook the slime from the article of clothing in question. “It’s not beyond repair, but…This is my debate team jacket!”
“I’ll pay whatever it-”
Dina’s offer was interrupted by Blech turning again toward Ambrose and heaving repeatedly. Ambrose slithered back, just in time to dodge a slimy chunk of meat landing on the ground where he had been standing, much to his disgust.
“Good heavens! Is he intentionally trying to sully my suit?”
Curiously, rather than react with alarm like before, Dina now gave Ambrose a warm smile. “Oh! Ambrose, Blech likes you!”
“He…likes me? Then why is he accosting me?”
“He was trying to offer you food!”
“That is the most revolting…” Ambrose trailed off as Blech rushed over and nuzzled against his tail. He groaned, and begrudgingly asked, “So, he’s fond of me, you say?”
“Again, he’s offering you food.”
“…Food.” Ambrose drew a rapier from a scabbard on his hip and hesitantly prodded the partially digested meat. “Right…” he sighed.
“Hey, that’s a good meal for pests!” Dina laughed.
“And…” Despite the circumstances, Ambrose found himself smiling, albeit wryly. “You’re quite certain it’s gourmet? Because, if he’s regurgitating it…”
[Hey, that counter’s probably coming from a place of love, so where’s the harm in that, right?
And hey, there’s some synergy the other way, too! I believe the pest tokens from SOS are 1/1s, so Venomous Words might help them get in for either more direct damage or bigger trades. So yeah, that makes a lot of sense, actually!]
Commission for the lovely Darkq1
Part 1 of 2
I feel like I haven't picked up any interesting games in a while. If you're reading this and you have a moment to spare, please recommend a fucked up tabletop RPG that has fewer than ten ratings on itch.io at the time of this posting.
Posting a collected list of qualifying recs from the notes, both here and via Bluesky. Note that I have accepted only full games, not supplements ("system neutral" or otherwise), and that I will not be taking questions about what constitutes my definition of "fucked up" at this time:
BUNNYJACKS by PennyBlake
Burn and Again by Aster F
Chimera Girls by Sapphic_Flesh
The Concealment Society by Doug Levandowski
The Devil City & its Seventy-Seven Vicious Princes by Dukerino
Doll.Ball by curatrix-ribston
Don't Kinkshame God by Softie
Faith & Sails by Juilian Kay
How I Turned Into a Comically Busty Clown?! by Unishifter
Huit Mille Milliards of TTRPG by The Bit Bet
IN PURSUIT by quinnntastic
LIVING, BREEDING by devours-the-world
Meat Channel by glitterbandemissary
My Tongue Behind Your Teeth by Porter Goldfinch
Oneiroi by Sapphic_Flesh
ROCKS FALL by ImaginationSimulations
Seeking the Wisdom of the Scavenger King by Reizor
Thunder in Our Hearts by Marn S.
Trial By Heresy by TheDreadGazebo
Wet Grandpa by Melsonian Arts Council
YEARNING by Reyes Makes Games
I've had a couple of people ask for a digestible version of the whole "the real problem with Dungeons & Dragons is false advertising, not anything that's present in its text" thing I keep alluding to, so here's the bullet point version of that argument:
Dungeons & Dragons is owned by Hasbro. Yes, the same Hasbro that owns Monopoly and My Little Pony.
Hasbro wants D&D to be the only tabletop RPG that anyone plays.
In order to accomplish this, Hasbro needs D&D to be a universal entry-level game.
D&D is not a universal entry-level game.
All game rules are opinionated about how the game ought to be played, and as tabletop RPGs go, D&D's rules are more opinionated than most. This is not a flaw, but it's not what Hasbro needs.
D&D is also on the high end of complexity as far as tabletop RPGs go, and it's complex in a way that strongly rewards system mastery, so it's pretty far from "entry level".
Hasbro could produce a version of D&D that's at the very least less opinionated and more entry-level than it presently is, but they don't want to, because they've determined that certain rules features which run counter to both of those goals are critical to D&D's brand identity.
They also don't want to produce multiple versions of D&D tailored for different audiences, because they want every single D&D group to be a potential purchaser of every single D&D product; they'd be effectively competing with themselves for their own customer base if the published game was actually modular in any meaningful way.
So how does Hasbro square that circle?
Simple: they lie. They insist that D&D is in fact a universal entry-level game in spite of all evidence to the contrary, and back their advertising up with sponsored thinkpieces and podcasts and such to "prove" it.
Further, they've spent decades fostering a culture of play which conceals the gap between the game they're advertising and the game they're selling by ascribing any appearance that D&D isn't a universal entry-level game to the incompetence or malice of individual GMs.
The game the rules want to produce disagrees with the game the group wants to play? Nonsense – even the rankest beginner should be able to produce any experience of play using any set of rules, and if your GM can't, they're a Bad GM.
The game is hard to learn? No, it isn't – your GM is merely gatekeeping you. This wouldn't be a problem with a Good GM.
The upshot is that the published rules are more or less irrelevant with respect to achieving the desired experience of play, because they're operating within a culture of play which dumps 100% of the work of making that desired experience of play happen on the GM.
Indeed, much of what modern D&D presents as GMing best practices are really methods of working around the fact that the rules you're using disagree with you about what kind of game you're playing.
(It's not a coincidence that D&D's entrenched culture of play also insists that it's normal for GMs to be miserably overworked and treats GM burnout as a big funny joke, then turns around and loudly wonders why there's a constant GM shortage.)
The trick is, because you're still at least notionally using the rules of D&D, the fruits of all that GM labour are perceived as the product of "playing D&D", not of the GM's hard work.
In essence, Hasbro's business model for Dungeons & Dragons is selling you your own GM's labour with a D&D sticker on it.
It's a very neat trick, if you can pull it off.
Now, at this point some readers may be asking: well, sure, but not all GMs are doormats. What about "killer" GMs who do gatekeep and railroad their players and otherwise act like complete tyrants? I hear horror stories about them all the time.
That's the second trick: these are not opposites. The GM as human Xbox and the GM as tyrant of the table both represent the GM doing all the actual work of making the game happen. The latter isn't the outcome that Hasbro wants, but it's a logical conclusion of the position the want the GM to be in.
Winged Salvation: Ch.3
The third chapter of five of my Boros-to-Golgari transition fanfic is out!
You can also check out the first chapter here, or the whole series here.
Chapter Summary: After Petra gives the Golgari the intel needed to stop the Boros from destroying their village, she strikes out on her own to confront the Legion strike force in an attempt to stop hostilities before they start. After an unexpected encounter, things rapidly spin out of control…
goddamn the Et Al family are some smart motherfuckers
Transitioning On Ravnica Tales: Main Character Custom Cards
Since the stories involving all five guilds are now at least started; here's some fun custom cards showcasing the protags. All art comes from official cards; its not necessarily a 1:1 representation of the character.
I had originally envisioned transform cards showing pre-and-post transition versions of the character but then I hit on the characters becoming tricolor (something kind of new and out there on Ravnica) showing where they came from and where they're going. Felt like a more respectful way to portray them anyway.
Silvie from One More Form.
Slave from Paid With Interest.
Melody from It Can Be Fun to Experiment (probably the least accurate art but still a pretty cool piece from one of the secret lairs).
Echo from A Different Kind of Strength.
Petra from the currently in-progress Winged Salvation.
I've actually made literally thousands of custom cards but I don't usually post them anywhere; but this seemed like a fun time to do so since the stories are public!
Winged Salvation Ch.2
The second chapter of five of my Boros-to-Golgari transition fanfic is out!
You can also check out the first chapter here, or the whole series here.
Chapter Summary: The newly transitioned Petra awakens to find she’s been rescued by a sex witch. But now that she’s finally become a woman, will Petra realize the dark truths she was avoiding during her time pretending to be a man?
Winged Salvation: Ch.1
Finally got around to writing the first chapter of the fifth installment (originally planned to be final, but now I've got some other ideas) of Transitioning on Ravnica Tales; a series of trans-themed smutfics inspired by my post of the same name.
This one's got a lot more plot and angst to it than the previous four.
Summary: An elite Boros soldier and perpetual runner-up for a chance to be reborn as an angel takes on a dangerous assignment deep in the sewers of Golgari territory. After a run-in with shifter wasps, “he” discovers a terrible truth about his guild.
AITA for killing people for fun
she should have been a trans girl. i need her so bad