trying on a metaphor
Kiana Khansmith
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
#extradirty
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Jules of Nature
⁂
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
ellievsbear
almost home
dirt enthusiast
$LAYYYTER
Three Goblin Art
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Discoholic 🪩
Misplaced Lens Cap
Mike Driver
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ojovivo
KIROKAZE
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
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seen from Netherlands
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@vikdom
What my D/s looks like most work days …
Me in a stolen shirt, my dirty running shoes nearby, and my resident Sadist desperate to peel off work and just feel our connection.
In these moments, His greatest need is my submissive presence without Him having to do a thing. I become the touchstone of His Dominance. My submission becomes His refuge.
He is my rock, my world. Lovingly kneeling when He is just spent is literally the very least I can give back.
Dominance is not writing a post that appeals to the neediness of naive little girls, pulling their little heart strings.
Dominance is not finding a weak, overly dependent girl, and finding her weakness and feeling “strong” just because you can break her and hurt her and mind fuck her. You weak ass bitch doms who do this are beyond fucking pathetic. You are a WEAK fucked up little boy.
Dominance is not just the emotional vanilla things that OF COURSE you should have in any real relationship.
Dominance is not just being a decent human being that cares and loves for a girl. Seriously that is just the bare minimum of not being a fucking ass hole.
Dominance is not dumping your fucking emotional baggage on a weak girl and fucking her over.
Dominance is having your shit together.
Dominance is controlling the fucking beast within you, especially your temper.
Dominance is having a fucking job (remembering an @owlmansdead anon months ago who was a “dom” but sat his ass at home all day and didn’t try to find a job)
Dominance is finding a strong, independent submissive that even though you may be striving to be an awesome man, she gives you her submission and it is a gift you could never truly “earn”
Dominance is being a leader that always learns how to be a better leader and a better man.
Dominance is teaching your submissive life lessons.
Dominance is gently (and not so gently at times) reminding a submissive of your strength when she tests her boundaries.
Dominance is respecting a woman that allows you to do whatever is inside you that you need to do to her.
Dominance is controlled power that doesn’t go to your head and feed your ego at the expense of another’s suffering.
Dominance is making her a better person than she already is, better off for knowing you and being with you, not worse.
Dominance is a look that says 10,000 words.
Dominance. You either have it or you don’t. Playing like you have it when you don’t makes you look like a total fucking idiot.
Wolf out.
Rant over.
Nice rant. Well said.
Jumping up and down and yelling “HELL YA!”
fun at work
D/s Hierarchy
We’ve all seen some version of this. But here’s how I write it, with the most important at the top:
submissive needs Dominant needs Dominant wants Dominant whims submissive wants
Submissives First In my mind, this is the only way it works. The submissive’s needs have to be managed first. Without those met, the submissive cannot let go and submit. When submissives have to devote energy to managing their needs and their Dominants’ needs and wants, it’s too much. Submissives have a tendency to put their Dominants first (and often, everyone else). So in the end, they suffer. They cannot do it all. And when they try, they wilt. Dominants must understand and work to fulfill their submissives’ needs. Or the whole hierarchy falls apart.
But submissives have responsibilities here, too. First, they need to know what they need. Not want, but need. Second, they need to communicate about their needs—to help their Dominants check the gauges and rebalance when necessary. If you don’t truly know what you need, you can’t expect your partner to know.
…But Dominants First, Too The other thing is that I don’t think submissives should see their needs as coming first. In an ideal relationship, submissives put faith in their Dominants to care for their needs, and they focus on their Dominants’ needs. If you can’t let go of putting your needs first, then you aren’t really giving up power. Communicate. Share your needs, and have meta discussions about them. Then let go. Trust. Lean in with your submission by putting your Dominant’s needs first. Focus on what they need. Let that guide you at all times. With submissive and Dominant both putting one another’s needs first, the dynamic flourishes. It deepens, and it takes you places you never knew existed.
Why Whims Why do Dominants’ whims come before submissives’ wants? Why are they on there at all? At least for me, explicitly putting my Dominant’s whims above my wants is a reminder of what it means to be owned. And I need to feel it sometimes. I need to know that my Dominant has no need to justify decisions. I plug my ass in the middle of the workday when told. I drop what I’m doing to complete a task. I deny my orgasms at the last minute. That is what it means to be owned. No other reason required. I need to know that my needs come first, but I also need to know that my desires come last. Very, very last. This is what my slave heart needs—not just in theory, but I need to see it.
For me, this is the fundamental structure of a D/s relationship. Different relationships may structure it differently. M/s will likely be different from DDlg, and the hierarchy may shift as two people build their dynamic. But the hierarchy makes a big impact on the dynamic. It’s not just the stated hierarchy; it’s the hierarchy reflected in your actions. How do your actions reflect your priorities? And does that create a dynamic where both partners can thrive?
A Note to Minors:
I see a lot on tumblr lately regarding the defense of underage participants in a certain community, as well as the underage participants expressing anger that they are not welcome on NSFW blogs. As a NSFW blogger, as well as someone who has come to know various sex laws due to their career, I thought I would clarify some things:
1. It doesn’t matter what the age of consent in your state is. Age of consent refers to the age that you are able to consent to sexual activity only.
2. Even if you are able to consent at age 16 or 17, by law you are still a minor. Pornography cannot be sold or viewed by minors.
3. If you are under 18 and you post explicit photos of yourself, you can be charged with creating and circulating child pornography, as the images contain a minor.
4. It is normal to have interests in sex and kink, regardless of age. There are safe spaces on the internet to seek these out and ask questions regarding your interests. Spaces where you can communicate with other teens, that are well moderated and do not allow adults to freely graze and prey.
5. As a minor, showing purposeful disregard for another blogger or a website’s request that no minors be present on the site (and for some explicit material, 21 is the age for legal viewership) puts the owner of that blog and/or website at risk. No one wants to see awesome sex bloggers get shut down or sex friendly spaces on the internet get hit for having underage members. Think about more than just yourselves.
If you’re under 18, unfollow me. Don’t argue, don’t flame me, just unfollow. I’ll be the first person to high five you when you turn 18 and we can reminisce about how much it sucked to wait. Until then, peace out.
Yes 100 times yes!
I don’t do jail. Unfollow if you are underage!!!!!
Yes!!!!!!
If you are underage, please unfollow this blog and visit http://scarleteen.com.
To all of my Followers. If you are underage, then please unfollow me. No hard feelings at all. Just refollow when you are 18. And please do the same to all the other blogs that you are on. It is an action to keep our blogs safe.
This is a very important post and must be followed. If you are under 18 on our blog please unfollow. We know it sucks but do not jeopardize everyone else’s fun for your lack of self control. We all had to wait, so you must too!
Yes, PLEASE unfollow my blog if you are under 18.
No. Minors.
Thx 😊
Minors please unfollow
Sorry no minors allowed here 💀
Indeed. No minors!
I know it sucks guys. But you have to obey the law for us. We all had to wait and so do you. Just wait out the couple years and come back when you’re of age please. Without meaning to, you can get people into a lot of trouble.
How to get your Sub in subspace, a guide for beginners
Although everyone into the BDSM scene has heard of endorphins, actually very, very few people really understand what they are, how they work, what the “high” is all about and how one can correctly induce the body to produce them. This short primer will answer those questions, and serve as a guide for anyone topping another so that they may successfully send their bottom into a very deep endorphin stupor! (Also known as leaving them in a big puddle of quivering ecstasy!)
The endorphin high is caused by a bunch of natural, morphine-like chemicals the body pumps into your brain to reduce your sensitivity to pain (thus raising your pain threshold.) The fact that the body seems to release these endorphins in measured ‘loads’ is a key to understanding how to ‘play’ the body to produce these ‘loads’ and ‘release’ them into the body and brain region when the ‘load’ is ready. One has to keep in mind that another chemical – adrenalin – is also produced by the body in reaction to pain, and its behavior should be understood also. This is covered later more thoroughly in the section at the end on aftercare – which is a VERY essential element in guaranteeing the success of the effort, as you will see.
The endorphin ‘loads’ as they are available in the body are released in their entirety, and after a ‘load’ is released, it takes the body about ten minutes to generate the chemicals for another one. After the body has been induced to release (or ‘inject’) a ‘load’ into the system, you must then continue stimulating the body for at least ten minutes in some manner before the body will be ready to release another one. This stimulation can be just about anything – sensation play, light paddling or flogging, light caning, etc. – and it does not have to be intense or even nearly match the intensity of stimulation that had caused the release of the last ‘load.’
Once prepared, an increase in stimulation over a five minute span up to a measured ‘climax’ will trigger the body to release the freshly prepared ‘load’ (based upon the submissive’s current pain threshold, “measured” to push them over a new edge.)
So, armed with this information, what does a session look like from the top’s and bottom’s point of view? This should break it down for you.
When a scene first starts, there are no endorphins in the submissive, and even fairly light torment is very stingy, ouchy, and, well, painful! There is an endorphin reserve already in place that is awaiting release into one’s body in case of an emergency, and after just a few minutes of even relatively mild stimulation building to a mild climax, this reserve ‘load’ is released, and suddenly the pain threshold clearly rises and the subject can easily tolerate what earlier may have been pushing their limits, making them jump around and squirm, for instance. This new, more pain tolerant state is Level One. There is no altered state of consciousness yet – but there is an increased pain threshold.
Once this has happened, for the top it’s basically just about treading water for ten minutes and doing anything that provides relatively light but constant stimulation to induce the bottom’s body to prepare/create their next ‘load’ for release. This is a good time for sensation play, or light paddling, flogging or whipping – and since the only requirement is that it remain fairly constant stimulation, it is a chance for the top to relax for a bit, since the stimulation can be very mild and be easy and relaxing to apply during this time.
Once the ten minutes has passed, a build in intensity over a subsequent five minute period will excite the body to a peak, and a sudden 10–15 seconds or so of intense stimulation just beyond the person’s current pain threshold limit will trigger the body to eject its freshly made, current load into the bloodstream. Now the bottom will be at Level Two – with still no perceivable altered state of consciousness (beyond panting in relief that you, the top, have ceased with the intense bit!), but there is a considerable and noticeable leap in pain threshold now.
Following this, again, ten minutes of mild, easy stimulation to provoke the body into generating the next load as quickly as possible. Keep this well below the pain threshold you’ve now created, with just a little intense whack, etc. every so often, about a minute apart. This will keep the adrenalin build up to a minimum, for reasons explained later on. Take it easy, tops, relax, rest that arm and wrist a bit! Then, this relaxing ten minutes is followed with five minutes of building the intensity again to well above the previous level, as the bottom’s pain threshold is pretty high already now and they can take a lot more before the body interprets this as being 'in crisis’ and thus triggers the endorphins’ release. Finished off with 10–15 seconds (up to a minute) of a real intense, over the edge push, and the body will inject that next load.
Now at Level Three, the bottom will definitely feel a little bit 'woozy’ — exhibiting a “mildly drugged” state. Their eyelids should become heavier seeming, and they will fall into a more relaxed condition than before, with more low moans and groans, and with their inhibitions becoming more relaxed. Again, applying ten minutes of any relatively mild stimulation (don’t have to work hard, tops!), followed by a five minute build to a 10–15 second intense climax now that is WELL beyond the previous one, will result in the next endorphin “load” being released to push the bottom into a very nice Level Four head space.
At this Level Four state, there will be a very definite altered state of consciousness in evidence, and the bottom will feel clearly drugged and will be very compliant and submissive now. This is countered, however, by the largest charges of adrenalin they have received so far (from the intense climax just used to push them over this “edge”), so they are still quite communicative and their reaction time is still quick (even hypersensitive – a small whack with a paddle, cane or whip can now generate a huge amount of twitching or jerking of the subject’s body with certain bottoms.) Now, during the ten minute 'treading water’ period for the top, the moans and groans will be longer and deeper, the body often limp in it’s restraints, and the reactions to the occasional harder 'strikes’ will be obvious and even somewhat amplified. This is the tops finest time – they can still relax and obviously not be exerting themselves very hard, yet produce fine moans of ecstasy from their bottom with hardly any provocation! The pain threshold is high, even if the reaction time is increased due to the adrenalin, so harder occasional strikes are welcomed, and the reactions are certainly encouraging!
After this ten minute “endorphin replenishment” period, now it is important to be very sensitive to the limit levels crossed earlier, as you begin that five minute build in intensity that will end in the most intense limit pushing you might do with the bottom for this session (if you are stopping at level five). The bottom will have a very high pain threshold at this time, but also will be fairly groggy (in spite of the adrenalin-fueled reaction times) and less able to communicate their safe word – in fact, will now be so compliant that it is very UNLIKELY that they would use it even if they should do so! So, push this “grand finale” with finesse and sensitivity to what is going on with your bottom! At the other end of the 10–30 second climactic build in intensity – in a wonderful blast – this latest endorphin load will push the bottom into Level Five: a state of supreme ecstasy, docility, and the ability to take just about anything you could throw at them. They will become very limp and relaxed very suddenly – and be very clearly in an altered state of consciousness now.
This is the point most people end the scene and remove the bottom to cloak them in a blanket and begin the all-important aftercare … and unless you know your bottom extremely well, this is where the session should end. However, for those in that category of knowing their bottom’s limits and abilities quite well, the rules and timing are the same as with the earlier segments. Now, your 'mild’ stimulation could be fairly intense if you wanted it to be, and the bottom will become extremely submissive – and receptive – and accepting of any amount of stimulation you could lay on them. This is a dangerous condition, because there is NO WAY a person will utter a safe word in this condition – they can barely talk at all! So, it is best to keep the stimulation relatively intense but not too too (Note: the stronger intensity applied now will hold up the adrenalin levels, and the combination with the elevated endorphins levels creates a condition of intense excitement and of simultaneously intense ecstatic relaxation for the bottom, so they’ll be into receiving whatever is being doled out. More on adrenalin in a minute, though!) Again, finish off after the ten minutes with a building in intensity to one beyond that reached earlier, with a 10–15 second extreme point, and the next 'load’ will be released. So, now we have brought the bottom to a very amazing Level Six! (But, again, this should only be attempted with a bottom whose limits and abilities are already very well known! The top is working without the benefit of safe words being utterable, in most cases by this time, so care must be exercised this whole while.)
With all the adrenalin now in the body – as well as the complete release of inhibitions from the heavy dosing of endorphins now in their brain – behavior of the bottom can become unpredictable at this point, and you should be prepared to restrain against some wild thrashing and arm flailing that could take place (at least be out of harm’s way!) The person/bottom is going to be in such an intensely altered state of consciousness now that their reactions could possibly be of an extremely primitive nature, and they may be capable of only 'animal-like’ noises and reactions, and no or very little recognizable speech. So, watch out! Following this reasoning, approach the subject as you would a wild animal – very gently, talking soothingly and gesturing in a calming manner. Be prepared for sudden wild jerking, or seeming attempts to 'get away.’ And don’t take it personally! At Level Six, this person is totally ga-ga! Be assured, they are enjoying every millisecond of this experience! And a very long period of dreaminess is now in store for them – if their aftercare is handled properly!
So, why do I go on and on about the aftercare? The work of putting endorphins into the subject’s body is finished, right? Well, yes, but you have also succeeded in putting very, very large amounts of adrenalin into their system, and adrenalin is tricky stuff. Even at Level Four, aftercare is important now because of they way adrenalin burns off – it burns off very quickly – compared to endorphins, which burn off very slowly. At Level Five or Level Six, there is enough adrenalin in the body that it will take 10 to 20 minutes for it to burn off (even up to half an hour!), and during this time, the bottom very likely will experience a number of adrenalin 'crashes’ (similar in a way to coffee jags), and some of these can be very intense — and even quite frightening! They will need to be kept warm and be held and comforted AT LEAST throughout this period of adrenalin burn-off. My feeling is that if you don’t care enough for the bottom to enjoy cuddling and caressing with them for up to half an hour, you probably shouldn’t be taking them to any Level Six endorphin/adrenalin levels! (Or even perhaps to a Level Four!)
This adrenalin “crash” experience for the bottom is something many, many tops are unaware of, and they have no concept of the amount of harm they could be doing to someone’s psychological state by not performing adequate, loving, fondling and comforting aftercare during this time. All the bottom needs now is to be held and to hold you (or whoever you assign to perform aftercare) back – in order to be comforted by your presence, and to be allowed to make you become the entire focus of their awareness. No stroking, or massage, or other stimulus is needed or even desirable at this time. What is important is to keep in verbal contact with the bottom (not requiring words as responses, merely nods), instructing them every little while to relax. The adrenalin will have them in a very agitated state – high heart beat and breathing levels, etc. – and this situation is completely counter to the endorphin experience.Sure, they have a ton of endorphins in their system, but the adrenalin is presently holding them off from experiencing the full effect of them. The top’s guidance is extremely important at this time to help them relax through the adrenalin burn-off period.
The important thing to realize is that, if not actually 'talked down’ out of the adrenalin agitation, the person could easily never allow themselves to relax enough to even feel the massive content of endorphins that currently exist in their system! (Maybe you’ve all seen the bottom who, after 45 minutes to an hour of intense stimulation to the point of near-total collapse on the cross or bench, is released and – after a mere couple of minutes – is just mingling around and talking and mixing with people as if nothing ever happened. These people are floating on a self sustained adrenalin buzz. This not only is likely to be unhealthy, but these bottoms are cheating themselves out of a long, long stretch of total endorphin-induced ecstasy!)
Step-By-Step Aftercare Instructions
So, while gently holding the bottom and letting them hold you back, coo softly and comfort them, and tell them to go ahead and to let themselves relax. You will feel them do so as they comply to your wishes, as they are quite docile and compliant to receiving instructions at this point. But they will also slowly tense up again from the adrenalin. Keep reminding them to relax, telling them to give themselves permission to relax totally. As they begin to succeed at doing this after a while, some will encounter a frightening feeling, which some describe feeling as if 'falling off a cliff,’ and they will tense up a great deal from fright in that event. Or, they might encounter a feeling of intense 'blackness’ (as the endorphins get a chance to relax even their optic nerve) and they will freak out and pull back from relaxing again.
If they report such experiences (or even before they do) tell them not to fear that, but to let it go and pass through it – telling them to relax themselves through the sensation of falling or blackness with the understanding that this is quite normal and is a common experience. Once they do that, having learned to “relax through it”, they will be “in it” after that point, and will begin to relax very deeply, very often seeing colors and beautiful technicolor visions and dreamlike landscapes, spaces and places. How sweet!
Once this happens (which, again, will take at least 10 minutes — and up to a half hour for some, depending on the amount of adrenalin that they must burn off), then your bottom needs only a little more loving attention, and can then be left bundled in a blanket somewhere on their own to float in a happy bubble, very possibly for hours!
Tops should be mindful of the fact that if they had intended to have sexual play with their bottom, they should probably fit that in around level three or four, for after hitting level five, their bottom may be too floaty to be able to concentrate for long on what they are doing. Then again, that can sometimes result in extremely passionate and inhibition-free indulgence, resulting in heights of ecstasy and orgasm never before experienced. But, if your bottom drifts out on you or loses their erection, don’t say I didn’t warn you! There’s no telling which way they will go at level 5 or 6!
“Flying”
There is another factor that can produce an altered state of consciousness FAR FAR beyond even that of the most extreme endorphin experience. This is experienced by submissives whose intense focus upon their Master or Mistress (their Dominant) – and upon pleasing them – eventually leads to a hallucinogenic kind of altered state known commonly in the BDSM community as “flying,” having an almost mythological aura surrounding the word by now, though for very good reasons! It is probably the most profound experience one can have as a submissive. It involves a state of intense devotion towards the dominant (who is not just a mere “top” at this point!) that borders upon religious worship, with complete trust and a total commitment to please and satisfy them thoroughly. Through the attainment of a complete selflessness and focus on the dominant, a transformation takes place that is very, very deep, almost trance-like.It can become so profound as to produce an extended, hallucinogenic state that is very wonderful and blissful. Many have reported even seeing visions under the spell of this “flying” effect. All have attested to the profound sense of peace and bliss they have experienced while even near the “edge” of this state.
This “flying” state can be attained by some with very little endorphin content in their system (some say even with none, but I’m quite certain most folks have attained at least a level Three or Level Four endorphin high in order to trigger the total release of inhibitions which this psychological state seems to require, at least generally speaking.) With practice, the release into this “flying” submissive-space should come easier and easier, eventually with even a mere suggestion being able to trigger the effect for some with very little or even no endorphin content being in the picture. COMBINED with the level 5 or 6 endorphin head space, there likely can be no deeper state of ecstasy possible for the bottom — short of total enlightenment! Until such an experience of full enlightenment can be accomplished, perhaps the attainment of this interim bliss is quite acceptable, and certainly should be considered an attractive and enjoyable state to be in! The secret ingredients are intense focus; a commitment to please the dominant utterly; and complete and total devotion! These ingredients – with some endorphins in the mix – should produce a quite satisfying effect for both the submissive and the dominant!
(Disclaimer — I am not a medical doctor, I assume no responsibility for people who try to use this information or for the effects which may arise from the application of the information above. As resulting from my personal knowledge, research and experiences, I can, however, assure you that this information is completely accurate to act as a guide for those exploring these effects as part of their own BDSM explorations.)
This a brilliant, a must read for anyone who doesn’t understand fully how sub space works! What’s even more important is understanding the aftercare needed and why it’s so critical.
Of course this more relevant to the real life Doms out there
I am rebloging this now and I will reblog it on Wisdom Wednesday. This is fundamental information and should be a mandatory read for all Doms.
Wow wow wow! Yes! Now I understand this! 😻 and…. WOW! 😻
I’m like a Mario game, @surrender-2-reason. 😹 Just keep leveling up. 😽
Knowledge is good!
The more you know
i dont get offended at white people jokes even though im white because:
i can recognize white people as a whole have systemically oppressed POC in america, which is where i live
most people when they make white people jokes only mean the shitty white people and i am not a shitty white person
im not a pissbaby
my white friends that have reblogged this give me life
4. Sometimes I am a shitty white person and the jokes remind me to FUCKIN STOP
If ur white and like this post I fux with u
Why a dom shouldn't trust safewords:
Now before anyone freaks out, I’m not against the use of safewords. I may not always use them myself, but I always offer one, and always respect them.
I’m saying I have learned not to trust them. This is because not all subs can be trusted to use them when they should. Even if they are usually good with using a safeword, all it takes is one time of them going further into subspace than they usually go, and they won’t call uncle even if it’s gone too far. I’ve had it happen and it’s not fun.
There are a few reasons a submissive won’t stop things when they should:
- Trying to be too good of a good girl.
This is the most basic reason. It is most commonly run across when a dom is first starting out, and is common in very submissive girls with no experience. They can try too hard to please, and will be afraid of disappointing you by saying stop if it’s too much for them. This can cause stress for them and lead to them wanting to quit, because they feel they can’t please you how you want. The fact is you would be losing a very good girl that could be an amazing submissive if trained properly.
- They go too deep into subspace in general, or deeper than they are used to on an occasion.
The trance state is a state that can be used to eliminate pain to the point dental surgery can be done without the use of anesthetic. Subspace is an actual verified altered state that is somewhat similar to a hypnotic trance, but with a more extreme power exchange. Senses are altered, and everything can feel good. It’s easy for them to just not realize you are causing them actual damage and let you keep going. This can lead to the unwanted and incredibly awkward post bdsm accident hospital trip. Don’t be that couple….
- They are just that submissive.
Some girls are so submissve the idea of saying stop just never occurs to them. They will accept anything you give them. It can be because of abuse or they just go that deep into subspace naturally. They might always be in subspace, or they just have a very submissve personality type. Regardless, they will never be the one to stay stop, unless it’s gone way too far.
- Drugs and alcohol.
This is obvious. When intoxicated the senses are dulled, and they won’t respond the same as they usually do. Now the general rule is that one should never do a scene when under the influence of anything, but we all know it happens sometimes. If casual bdsm is your thing, then don’t do it. You won’t have had enough practice, or been able to get to know your partner as a sub well enough if it’s not a regular thing. However with total power exchange or more lifestyle focused people, it’s going to happen. However I’m assuming if that applies to you, then you are grown ass adults kink wise and should how to be responsible.
- Self hate, guilt and other life issues.
This is a difficult one. If you happen to have a submissve with mental or emotional difficulties, which is not uncommon, then extra care needs to be taken. The reasons to not use a safeword can be many here. Wanting to be hurt, wanting to ease the guilt, being afraid of you because of past abuse, the belief they actually deserve it, or even because they are just that numb. This is where really knowing who your sub is on the deeper levels is very important.
Regardless of the reasons, my point isn’t against use of a safeword. As a dom you have responsibly. They are giving all the power to you and trusting you with their body, mind and even heart. It’s very important to not rely on the safeword. The use of the safeword is simple and requires no effort from you as the dom. When you hear it stop, then take care of whatever needs to be taken care of. They have it, they can use it. It’s just there.
However, do not let yourself get too comfortable with this idea. Don’t just think you can let loose and they will tell you if it’s too much. They might not until it’s too late and real damage is done. You need to pay attention, get to know your sub and all their limits on all levels and be ready to be the one that says stop, this is not good.
Be prepared for your sub to be disappointed or even fight you on it. This is one of the most important times to remember you have the control. To remind them that what’s best is not up to them. Saying that at that time isn’t just a dom game in any way, but the truth. They could possibly have dropped deep into an altered state, and they actually might not be able to judge what is best for them at those times. What is actually causing serious bodily harm could feel good to them, and they may not understand the need to stop. Be firm and remind them that they gave the control to you for a reason.
If they pull any games and complain that you’re being too easy or aren’t “dom enough”, then a serious talk needs to be had. If they persist then you need to walk away. That is self destructive behaviour and needs to be stopped immediately. Do not let a sub manipulate you into participating in their self harm. There is never anything wrong with erring on the side of caution before going more extreme to make sure you know the lines to be respected. Nor does this allow a dom to be able to trust the sub to say if something is wrong.
Unless you are just a sick fuck and an asshole, no one wants a hospital trip. No one wants to go too far and cause real harm. This will break down the trust on both sides and leaves everyone feeling like they did something wrong. Pay attention at all times. Don’t wait for a safeword. Stop when they look like it’s too much. Then get their attention and some sort of thumbs up. Even if it’s just a smile saying, “don’t worry, I’m enjoying it". You can even just slow down to do this. And if it seems like any real damage is being done, stop. Make them stop. Then take a moment to make sure they aren’t actually hurt.
I also suggest going through the effort to learn how to read people. Study body language, micro expressions and other forms of non-verbal communication. They are invaluable to a dom in many ways. Regarless of a safeword, you shouldn’t need a special word to tell the difference between play and serious. There is a world of difference between, “no, please, stop…”, and “ow! Fuck! Stop!”.
Always use safeword. You can just know they are there to use. However, pay attention the rest of the time and don’t rely on them using it. The bottom line is they are trusting you in their hands.
Reblog this post with a picture of your tits or ass if you enjoy being objectified.
Those are some fat titties!
Reblog if your blog is hypnosis themed
It’s time we all found each other♥
Couldn’t agree more!
i dont get offended at white people jokes even though im white because:
i can recognize white people as a whole have systemically oppressed POC in america, which is where i live
most people when they make white people jokes only mean the shitty white people and i am not a shitty white person
im not a pissbaby
my white friends that have reblogged this give me life
4. Sometimes I am a shitty white person and the jokes remind me to FUCKIN STOP
If ur white and like this post I fux with u
^absolutely
5. It’s hard to be offended when white people jokes involve bland food/tourist dads in socks and sandals/white girls in yoga pants obsessed with pumpkin spice/suburban PTA moms and other harmless and mostly true stereotypes while jokes about POC involve them being called thugs/criminals/slurs/uneducated/illegal immigrants.
i fucks with u heavy if ur white and you reblog this
6. They’re usually really fucking funny and don’t perpetuate stereotypes that will ever affect me economically, politically, or cause me any true harm, let alone create risks that “justify” my murder and/or death
Waits for my white mutuals to reblog😌
yesyesyesyes
7. if I expect dudes not to “not all men” me how can I rly “not all white people” since it’s asking for the same exemption
