viktor

~ a vampire from outerspace // 17 // he/him | 5'5" | sw: 163lb | cw: 139lb | gw: 125lb

[viksvaporrub]

~ body check from a week or two ago ~

sorry for the poor quality. uwu’’ but i’ve returned to tumblr to get back on my bullshit, yeehaw.

[lilboreddev-blog]

reblog if u a lil ugly

[lloydlaflare]

10.8 million of us are a lil ugly.

[theaustralianaffliction]

I would say a lil ugly, I’d say 100% ugly

[lotusflowersfromconcrete]

I hate that mental disorders have turned into a competition. you cant discuss eating habits without someone saying how they survived off green tea for 3 weeks and weighed 4 stone. you can’t discuss your depression because another person has already tried to commit suicide 8 times and theyre only 12. you cant discuss self harm because you punch your leg till it turns purple whilst they slice their arm to the bone. you cant talk about addiction because someone else will talk about facing their crack addiction for 18 years. every god damn time you even come close to wanting to reach out you know theres no point because in other people’s eyes you’re never sick enough. there’s always someone worse off. that’s the problem with attitudes to mental health. this ‘oh suck it up you’re not as bad as me/them’ HAS to stop. you have no idea how much a problem affects a person because, okay it might seem like nothing to you but to them their entire world is breaking down and they just have to wait till they either figure it out on their own, or become so sick that people can’t deny it any more. and by then its usually too late.

[petals-n-all-dainty]

this is important.

[plsrxport]

and ed’s are so competitive by nature…like i’m listening to others talk about their issues with eating and in my head i’m like okay i have to match/beat that or else i’m just faking it aren’t i

[viksvaporrub]

everybody has valid issues, and we’re all struggling.

[photografya-deactivated20230917]

[nsfw-userboxes]

[viksvaporrub]

pretty much. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[viksvaporrub]

~ body check & daily ~ 5.4.20

* so i think i might just start recording my calories in a journal or something, because coming on tumblr everyday is a hassle, but i’ll continue to do body checks. anyways - 2″ off my waist from the last time i measured on 4.17.20!! ahh

[viksvaporrub]

FUCK MEEEEEEEEEEEE

okay, when? c:

[writingsforwinter]

The Morning After I Killed Myself

The morning after I killed myself, I woke up.

I made myself breakfast in bed. I added salt and pepper to my eggs and used my toast for a cheese and bacon sandwich. I squeezed a grapefruit into a juice glass. I scraped the ashes from the frying pan and rinsed the butter off the counter. I washed the dishes and folded the towels.

The morning after I killed myself, I fell in love. Not with the boy down the street or the middle school principal. Not with the everyday jogger or the grocer who always left the avocados out of the bag. I fell in love with my mother and the way she sat on the floor of my room holding each rock from my collection in her palms until they grew dark with sweat. I fell in love with my father down at the river as he placed my note into a bottle and sent it into the current. With my brother who once believed in unicorns but who now sat in his desk at school trying desperately to believe I still existed.

The morning after I killed myself, I walked the dog. I watched the way her tail twitched when a bird flew by or how her pace quickened at the sight of a cat. I saw the empty space in her eyes when she reached a stick and turned around to greet me so we could play catch but saw nothing but sky in my place. I stood by as strangers stroked her muzzle and she wilted beneath their touch like she did once for mine.

The morning after I killed myself, I went back to the neighbors’ yard where I left my footprints in concrete as a two year old and examined how they were already fading. I picked a few daylilies and pulled a few weeds and watched the elderly woman through her window as she read the paper with the news of my death. I saw her husband spit tobacco into the kitchen sink and bring her her daily medication.

The morning after I killed myself, I watched the sun come up. Each orange tree opened like a hand and the kid down the street pointed out a single red cloud to his mother.

The morning after I killed myself, I went back to that body in the morgue and tried to talk some sense into her. I told her about the avocados and the stepping stones, the river and her parents. I told her about the sunsets and the dog and the beach.

The morning after I killed myself, I tried to unkill myself, but couldn’t finish what I started.

By Meggie Royer

[hadia-35-deactivated20200629]

Why am I crying lol

[photografya-deactivated20230917]

[exhaustedborderline]

[viksvaporrub]

[pappicho]

aha can't be fat if i'm a fucking rotting corpse six feet under up top

[viksvaporrub]

literally this thought goes through my head every waking hour of the day, ahhhh.

[thespilledquotes]

Nobody ever really knows how much anyone else is hurting. You could be standing next to somebody who is completely broken and you wouldn't even know it. That's why you should always try to be kind.

[viksvaporrub]

~ body check ~ 4.25.20

[viksvaporrub]

~ body check ~ 4.22.20

[myreticentvale-deactivated20231]

Keep the flame going for those we have lost to suicide. 

[maddisonkennedy-deactivated2017]

Couldn’t scroll

[thy-devil-princess-deactivated2]

I don’t give a fuck if this doesn’t suit your ‘theme’ have a heart and reblog.

[cyndaquil17-deactivated20180822]

Keep the flame spread the tag.

[dizzzydreamzz]

Reblog it

[ursadgirll-blog]

✨tips to keep from eating✨

1. put in your retainer (if you have one) but don’t take the case with you, this was you’ll have to leave it in and it’s impossible to eat anything with it 2. craving something sweet? zero calories sweetener over literally anything fruit will help 3. binge on fruit and vegetables if you really feel the need to, 4000 calories worth of healthy food is way better than 4000 calories worth of junk food that’ll take way longer to get rid of 4. stop weighing yourself every five seconds. you’ll gain weight throughout the day because that’s how the body works; only weight yourself in the morning after you’ve peed and been up for a while. never at night, that’ll just disappoint yourself 5. DO NOT GO IN THE KITCHEN! there’s no reason to go in there for no reason, unless you’re filling up your water bottle or eating something you’ve planned out ahead of time, there’s no reason to go in there. that just leads to unnecessary calories 6. don’t drink your calories, this has been said time and time again but it’s the truth. water, green tea, and diet drinks are your friend. you don’t need to waste 110 calories on a gatorade, that’s just pointless 7. if you really need something, you can take one bite of it, this doesn’t mean a ridiculously large bite, get the smallest fork or spoon and put it on that and then eat it, but that’s all you get. same goes for drinks with calories, get a shot glass and you can drink that much of it but that’s all you get 8. there’s absolutely no reason for a “cheat day” go back to tip number 7 if you’re craving something. allowing a cheat day only sets you back and that’s the last thing you want.