A big reason men have a problem with “fragile” masculinity is due to the over obsession with yaoi
I just saw a post of two guys play fighting. they compared their wingspans and the taller guy wrapped his arms around the other dude to swing him around all crazy. They seemed to be having a lot of fun and stuff. So i checked the comments and it was all girls saying thing like “Now kiss” , “i’m starting a rumor”, or like “ BL”. I find that so odd, in the first place men don’t do shit like that often. This is due to them not wanting to come off as “soft”, and when they do show that side people make it weird.
Imagine another guy with some sort of mindset where doing a lot of stuff is “gay” or “soft” to him. He sees the video then the comments, it’s gonna enforce his mindset.
Women have the grace and ability to be very affectionate with friends and it’s seen as very normal, but there’s such a stigma around men being affectionate towards each other. The way some women over fetishize or romanticize gay men makes that stigma worse for men who aren’t.
A lot of these women in the comments are the types of people to advocate for equality, the types to criticize misogyny and repost feminism. so i feel like they should be able to use some critical thinking to connect the dots of why men feel the need to be so gruff.
as known men have always been some of the biggest oppressors in history. They have been used to being the “bigger fish” (obv that’s not good). But in the last 100 years or so there has been such a boom in feminism and equality. I know our world is a fast changing one and it’s for the best they catch up. But there are so many people in the world that still have old ideals ,even progressive people. Sometimes these ideas subconscious, instilled in us from a long line of conservative beliefs. Seeing two guys be close can be something thats pointed out as an oddity. There lies that problem. Why do we wanna point it out? We shouldn’t point it out at least not as something that undermines or belittles that connection.
think of it like this; which is exaggerated.
“oh two guys being close and having fun and giggling? That’s not the usual. Hmm rather than acknowledging that we’re in a changing world. a world where men ARE learning their role in society as an equal where they can have fun and be close and be affectionate. (the same things women have normalized with each other for so long). I’m gonna comment and acknowledge that it’s a gay way of behaving.”
-i’m totally ranting here, i know what im saying isn’t put together and someone might piece some words together that don’t sound so great (Not woke of me per say). But the general gist of what i’m saying is Stop pointing out men letting down their guard as gay. i’m pretty sure you wouldn’t do that to a women. Feel free to educate me if i’m misunderstanding something. And educate me if you know more.
