vintage oceans

forever wishing to live oceanside in an old house, alone and content

[vintage-oceans]

someone tell me what my gender is

Thinking about my gender is so confusing for me. I wish there were some definite quiz, or something I could do to tell what I am. And I don’t know enough about gender or being trans to identify what I’m feeling. Someone help me. 

I don’t have body dysmorphia. I also have a fairly gender neutral body (boyish, straight figure. no hips. small chest. square face). I’m comfortable in my body. I love my body the way it is. But I don’t identify with my body. I was born a woman, but I don’t necessarily think of myself and my body as one. 

Is that what agender is? Identify with no gender? Feeling like you aren’t confined by the gender binary? Or is that non binary? 

I’m comfortable with she\her pronouns, but I don’t necessarily identify with them. I’m comfortable with they\them pronouns, but don’t feel entirely nonbinary. I don’t prefer he\him pronouns, but if someone continuously called me that I wouldn’t mind. I am who I am, regardless of what I’m called. 

The best way I can describe it is that my soul does not have a gender. When I think of me, I have no gender. When I imagine who I am, who I want to be - that person doesn’t have a gender. Who I am, what I am, the essence of my personality - these don’t have a gender.

Want to call me a woman? I don’t think I would, but I don’t mind if you do. Want to call me a boy? Fine by me too. I don’t care. Want to call me non binary? I don’t know if I am, but I don’t mind being thought of as that. 

I would be the same person no matter what body I had, and I don’t “identify” with any gender. I don’t feel attached to woman, man, or non binary. 

I just want to know what I am. Non binary? Agender? Genderfluid? Cis but confused?

[vintage-oceans]

I really wish people let men be asexual. 

It would get rid of so much anxiety for me. I love manly men! I would love to date one! But an asexual one. 

Men are taught from a young age to sexualize everything, and that the more people you sleep with the better you are. Fuck that shit. Where are all my asexual guys?? 

[vintage-oceans]

I don’t get what people don’t understand about asexual aesthetic attraction™

I have a type for sure. There are certain features I like, usually because I associate them with a personality I love (example: nice smile = friendly personality) but like...I don’t want to sleep with them because of it.

Cuddle with me! Hold me! Love me! Tell me things you love about me! Let’s be a couple and do all the relationship things! Let’s just skip the sex part. 

[quiet-nymph]

Fevonos on Instagram

[vintage-oceans]

This is a place I aspire to live 😍

[yourbasicblogger-deactivated202]

Saw this on Instagram and I couldn’t agree more.

[vintage-oceans]

Introducing the daily thought process of an asexual eighteen-year-old:

I’m asexual. But am I sex repulsed? I think so....but everybody else I’ve seen who says they’re sex repulsed also hate physical affection and kisses and I love kisses - forehead kisses, cheek kisses, a casual make-out session - and physical affection? Yes please! Cuddling, hugs when I’m feeling down, an arm around me when we’re walking; I want it all. Can I have all that and still find someone who doesn’t mind no sex? I don’t want sex. But everybody wants sex, right? So will I have to compromise to find a partner who will make me happy? The idea makes me so uncomfortable and I don’t want to but I do want to find a partner. How do I find a partner in the %1 of people like me? Is there anyone asexual who likes physical affection and is also a good match for me, personality-wise? Should I use a dating site? If I put my asexuality out there will I attract creeps? Maybe I’m just happy alone. I can be alone forever. I don’t even like people anyway. Yeah. For real. But I also kind of want a partner really bad and think about it every day. So I should probably just learn to pretend to be normal. Sex? Maybe I can do it? I feel sick thinking about it but maybe I’m just too young to understand, like everyone says.

I wish I were normal. 

[vintage-oceans]

forever waiting for the day when a rich and attractive person will fall in love with me so I can live on the beach in an old house with ancient knick-knacks and books and beautiful paintings and a forest in my backyard and an always green greenhouse and not have to work anymore and wake with the sun and be left alone by everyone (except for my very attractive and also asexual partner ❤️)