#ace life

[zed-sabre]

my muscles still hurt

[artikals]

current sickest and most lustful desire: cuddling while we're holding hands and letting all the bad thoughts go away

[trace-of-a-song]

Time Sometimes Gives Presents

I started writing music for Carmilla last May. Now as the episodes come out I'm listening to some of it for the first time since I tossed it to Tal. I think episode 5 was in June. That's 9 months ago now and a lot of life has happened since. I forgot So Many Things!

I forgot how sweet and innocent the love theme was when it started.

I forgot the weird carriage music.

I forgot how early on I got to hint at the sorrow and weirdness.

I forgot that part where the violin gets higher and higher until it umm... yeah... musical climax anyone? It's as close as my Ace heart usually gets.

This is a whole different kind of fun!

[ace-race-ace]

Do not get a French father talking about Monaco 🤣

I was just talking to him saying there’s 3 French drivers on the grid which is great and he goes “there’s four”

And I was like huh? Isack, Esteban, Pierre that’s 3.

“AND CHARLES”

He’s Monégasque tho?

“FAKE COUNTRY. CREATED ONLY TO MOOCH OFF THE TAXES OF HARD WORKING FRENCH PEOPLE. USELESS WASTE OF SPACE…*rants for 5 minutes*

Like ok fair but like I was just talking about nationality - wasn’t going that deep 🤣

“He’s French”

Ok 👍

[veryferaldistributions]

What it’s like to be ace, but also to have the humor of a 12-year-old boy:

[brasskingfisher]

FUCK THE PATRIARCHY!

Ok, I need to empty my brain of this. I've been seeing some discourse recently about misogyny and the patriarchy in regard to TERFs and radfems who seem to think that because AMAB people benefit from the patriarchy it's impossible for them to be directly harmed by it (if at all), or to genuinely oppose it. Well I've got news for you fucknuggets:

I'M A CISGENDER MAN WHO HAS SUFFERED BECAUSE OF THE PATRIARCHY!!

One perfect example is my mental health problems. Now I have depression and anxeity and got diagnosed in my mid twenties (though I'd begun to suspect I had some kind of problem much sooner). Now part of the reason I didn't get diagnosed sooner is because I was brought up with that traditional patriarchal idea that all men are inherntly stoic and can't/shouldn't show emotion and so I felt like asking for a psych referral because of my struggles was an overreaction. Now because I was never given space or opportunity to express or explore my emotions as a child I didn't have the vocabulary and understanding to talk to other people about my emotions and explain how I felt. The end result was that I had a tendency to bottle up and supress all my emotions up to the point I couldn't anymore and I either shut down and isolated myself or physically lashed out at myself or others. Now when that physical violence happened I almost invariably got criticised for not asking for help before that point despite not knowing how to and or being told I was weak/unmanly for needing/wanting that help.

It's also messed me up on terms of my sexuality. For context (and I've discussed before) I'm a bi/pan romantic asexual, but previously considered myself straight with a low sex drive (I just couldn't relate to this idea that regular sex was some kind of necessity, especially for men) since I wasn't interested in other men in that way and sex just never seemed particularly important. Because obviously you're either straight or gay. And obviously it's wrong to be gay or want to be with another man. It's only been recently as I've discovered asexuality and begun exploring queer spaces (and talking to other asexuals) that I've realised that my limited sexual experience is because I felt that I should want sex, or that providing sexual release for my partner was an important aspect of the relationship rather than I actually want to do the deed.

Now, this has left me with absolute metric fuckton of issues and problems which I'm still trying to unpack and deal with, and honestly, if future generations don't have to do this, I'd say that's for the better.

[acenerd95]

Coming Out

I don’t think anyone will see this, but I just needed to say it. It’s the first day of ace week and I’m not ready to come out in real life. I’m a bit scared to. So I’ll  come out as best I can, anonymously to the internet: Hello World. I am asexual.

[maniacwatchestheworld]

With how I play the Telltale Batman game, I'm pretty sure that my iteration of Bruce Wayne is either ace or hopelessly in love with Harvey Dent. And to be honest, I don't know which idea I like more!

Both maybe? Both would be pretty good! >.>