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@violet-t-9
The most important question, indeed
So.
Yeah.
That stream, huh?
Still processing it even now, but just wanted to drop my two pennies on Shadowgast.
I slept through the actual section of the stream where they're said to actually get together?? So I don't know exactly what was said.
But reading a bit, I can get a good idea of whatever it was Liam (and/or Matt) said.
I think it's a fitting end to this chapter and the start of the rest of their story for them.
And hearing that Essek was confirmed to be Demi to some degree? Having just recently started identifying as Demiromantic?
I cried reading Matt's tweet.
I can so see Essek and Caleb having a quiet, PDA-less relationship full of whispered sweet nothings, book giving, study tours, gentle arm touches, soft & quick forehead kisses and long, adoring gazes.
Two professors sharing a cottage full of books and cats together, maybe never marrying in the official sense, but wearing a ring on the marriage finger that fits the other's aesthetic?
Caleb and Essek teaching each other their preferred magic styles, going on trips to Aeor and similar magical places of historical importance, making up new spells together.
They don't dance or kiss in public, but when The Nein meet up they hide in a corner and hold hands, leaning on eachother, whispering to eachother and laughing faintly, grinning at eachother.
It's not exactly shyness, but that's a part of it, though for them it's more than that.
They know they love each other to hell and back, that they are eachother's world and that screaming their love to eachother isn't necessary as it's already so loud to them.
Maybe they don't fuck 24/7, maybe they don't have petnames for eachother, maybe they aren't always gushing about eachother.
Maybe their students gossip and argue over if they're dating or just good friends, maybe the Nein aren't 100% sure either.
But does that matter when they both know the truth and live it everyday?
Sometimes love is loud and messy and vibrant.
Sometimes love is quiet and neat and soft.
Sometimes it's both, sometimes it's not quite either.
Who are we to decide if one couples' jam is strong enough for them to actually be a couple or not?
If they love eachother and both willingly and consentingly call themselves a romantic couple, as Matt and Liam have both openly stated that they are/were, then they are indeed a romantic couple.
And I support them all the way, both as a Demiromantic person myself and as a fan who likes subtle stories.
Sometimes, the less said story is better than the more detailed story as sometimes too many details can be smothering and may clash.
And remember, no 2 relationships are alike and not everyone has the same love language as each other, just because you expect one thing from your partner doesn't mean everyone else does and to say their love isn't real because it doesn't match yours is not only really self absorbed, but it's offensive and hurtful to everyone else who loves differently than you do.
Maybe they have unspoken relationship trauma?
Maybe they have sensory issues that make physical affection uncomfortable?
Maybe they just don't see love like how it's most commonly seen by other people?
And in reference to them separating over the lifespan stuff? I get that.
I can see Caleb being the type who doesn't want to become the "that human who broke an Elf's heart when he died and made it so the Elf could never love anybody else ever again" guy and would try to avoid it.
He has a massive guilty conscience and that would haunt him forever, alive and dead, should it even become close to happening.
Whereas Essek knows he'll outlive Caleb if nothing else happens first and may want to protect his own heart from such a world shattering heartbreak that is losing your closest and most loved.
Maybe they talked about altering their own lifespans with magic? Or about a "you die, I die" pact?
But realised they didn't want to change themselves like that? Or curse the other to die before their own time?
Because they love eachother as they are? And the pact thing is so dark and horrible?
Idk, but I imagine it is a mutual decision and that, even if they stop acting romantically towards each other, they still love eachother very much and continue living together?
Essek helping an older, less mobile Caleb when it gets later on and Caleb's body starts to slowly but surely fail him?
Caleb reassuring Essek and helping the other man prepare for life after Caleb's death?
Idk guys.
I just really love the softness of them and their non-traditional but very real love.
And seeing all the anti-aspec and even anti-neurodivergence stuff is really depressing as a Demiromantic nonbinary person who is neurodivergent.
Ah, feel free to ignore this, I just needed to get this shit off of my chest after seeing all of the fucking discourse.
Gods, I'm so tired...
BUT anyway!
Let's remember to love eachother! Please stay safe & take care, everyone! And may the universe be kind to you!
Happy Pride Month! š³ļøāš
Bidet! š
im thinking about professor widogast, in a tweed coat with patched elbows, grading papers with a cat on his lap, his door always open to any student who needs it.
about a living room cluttered with books and paper and all manner of components, two wizards passed out on top of each other on an old sofa after finally cracking that one arcane equation.
about essekās disguises subtly showing age, mirroring calebās, so they can still walk together arm in arm through the city.
Iām thinking about a shipās wedding, tables piled high with sweets, and orly officiating. A green cloaked figure appears in the back, and later guests argue over whether it was really there at all.
about the home for orphans they build in nicodranas, which takes in, loves, and protects every child who comes through its doors, so none of them ever feel disposable.
about how the stories of captain tusktooth spread, and turn to legend, and every version includes the blue skinned she-devil who loved and fought by his side.
im thinking about a new baby on Vethās hip, dark skinned and curly haired, and the proud, frantic message to Caleb after Yeza walks in on her magically making the flame of a candle dance.
about a family apothecary, underneath a large apartment, which almost blows up about once a week until someone (Yeza) decides they need somewhere else for their experiments, and they invest in a warehouse down by the docks.
about Grandma Veth in a rocking chair, brown braids now grey, delighting small children with exciting, gory tales of daring adventure, which she will tell at any opportunity.
im thinking about a cottage somewhere beautiful, which always smells like fresh baking because Yasha is learning. Before too long, her bugcakes become legend for miles around.
about nights that arent so good, when Beau comes home late after a frustrating day or Yasha wakes from a nightmare, breathing heavy, and how one of them will hold the other close until they wake in the morning to a new day that doesnāt feel nearly as hopeless, because they know they have eachother.
about a wedding in the blooming grove officiated by caduceus, and decorated in wildflowers. As soon as the ceremony ends, the sky goes grey, and everyone runs inside except for the brides, who stand kissing in the pouring rain.
im thinking about a caduceus who spends his days doing what he loves the most, tending the earth and occasionally exploring the world, splitting time between his two families.
about an old pirate king who ventures inland as he feels himself dying, asking the Clays if he can be buried in the blooming grove, because he trusts them not to let anyone mess with his body, and, besides, he wants to be buried among friends.
about the graves that slowly fill, each in their time. Generations of Clays know to keep the ninth one empty until, centuries later, an old elf takes his place.
iām thinking about the Nein, the Nine, and how their journey all together may have come to a close, but the rest of their lives are still to come, and those lives are bright.
iām thinking about how each of them, in their own ways, will leave the world better than they found it.
Ok but Essek appearing in C3 as a odd, shady individual, heās a wizard but nobody really knows where he lives or even what he does, or even if itās the same person.
In one city, thereās a high elf magic teacher with a soft voice and an attitude for floating while he gives his lectures. Heās a bit aloof, but well loved. After twenty years, he disappears. A couple of his brighter students put on a perfect poker face when theyāre asked if they know anything.
In another city, forty or so years later, another elf with a soft voice, this time his tan skin is speckled with freckles and his hair a mane of red, presents a magical theory with tests and proof. It might change the way magic is understood worldwide. He offers to teach the other wizards about it and find out possible applications. Once eyes begin to turn again on him, suspicious, he vanishes again.
Sometimes, a drow elf with a parasol appears in the Blooming Grove. Hugs Caduceus and Clarabelle. Goes to the circle of tombstones that mark the resting place of the mighty nein. He spends hours talking to the one marked with fiery, orange flowers, going through his theories and finding the gaps in them because Ah, of course you would make me see the missing piece, Caleb, youāve always had a better eye for detail.
Often he has updates on the kind of cupcakes that are popular in the biggest cities, and leaves half of one among the blueberry bush marking another grave. He eats the other half.
Then he stretches, picks up a pair of work gloves with pink flowers, and tends to a patch of the garden that has become his favorite, being a bit more shaded from the sun.
Thereās also a tower. Not a stone tower, fixed in place, but a magical one filled with cat servants. The light inside is a mixture of purple and orange, and stained glass windows depicting nine people adorn the entrance. Many arcane practitioners found their way there, as well as friends and companions. Itās a place to learn, to discuss, to be together and form bonds. The door to the tower is never in one place, but as long as Essek of the Mighty Nein knows where you are, he will lead you inside.
You donāt need to knock, there are chimes on the door.
Sprinkle when Frumpkin is released
You know with a lot of focus being on Caleb's romantic relationships right now I've been thinking that the way Liam approached it reminds of the ending of Crazy-Ex Girlfriend. In that show the character's mental health issues caused her to fixate on romance being an endgame, believing it would fix all her problems. She thought her partner would complete her and make her happy. But by the end of it she realised that what she needed to do was focus on herself before thinking about any kind of romance. One day she could find love but it was no longer a priority for her.
In comparison, Caleb never thought he could find love again and it was never a goal. But he inadvertently fell in love and it did change him. However, he was content to keep it a secret because he didn't want to drag her down. By the end of the story it still takes him time to recover and focus on his own healing before getting into a relationship with someone new, but he understood that it was never the end goal or something that needed to be his priority.
Both characters had very different outlooks on love, and how it affected their story arcs. They both had several LIs that were equally as meaningful but in different ways. But they both came to the same conclusion. Love can change us, help us and be a wonderful thing in our lives but it's never the end goal. It's something to be cherished, for however long it lasts, but it's just as important to heal and come to terms with who you are in whatever form that takes. To pursue your own goals and dreams, even if that means you have to move on from someone. That it's ok to move on because it doesn't make any of the time you spent with that person a waste of time or less meaningful. It was wonderful when you had it, and good that you can remain friends after. It's a very different view on love that is often not found in media, but it's an important and very real one I think.
It takes time. Building a future together for as long as it lastsš§”š
āIf nature and history has taught us anything, eventually, thereās just one left.ā
All I can think of is Calebās life now.Ā
He stepped through the doorway
Now he spends his weekdays teaching transfiguration, his lunchbreak writing scathing editorials, every third weekend getting thrown in jail for being a hair away from treason, but heās too well connected to stay behind bars. He has friends on the Talādorei Council you know. Vacations he teaches summer camp and visits Yussa to mess with the Happy Fun Ball.Ā
Bringing yet another cat home and introducing it to Essek who laughs, eyes filled with love. Heās long known Caleb Widogast has a penchant to take in strays.Ā
Gets to know his godson and teach him magic and has to use his ring of evasion to dodge Lucās sneak attacks.
Able to visit his parents grave. Continues to write them letters.Ā
And of course Teleports whenever his friends need him.Ā
One day on the ocean with three seafaring adventurersĀ
One day on the coast drinking wine and telling old stories to a boy whoās old enough to hear them now
One day in a blooming cemetery where heās always welcome for tea
Often to a little house in the city where he and an Expositor go over their notes to weed out corruption while listening to the gentle music of a harp.
Even sometimes to an empty hillside. No grave marker is there, but no body is there either.Ā Ā
And there are still bad days. But Caleb is good at keeping track of things. He has a very good memory.Ā
He knows that thereās more good days than bad.Ā
Still crying over the āand soon Caleb will be an old man⦠and essek will beā¦. Essekā
cannot stop thinking about some Solstryce Academy freshman in 10-20 years being like,Ā āā¦and for Transmutation 101 I have Widogast. He seems kinda dry, lecture-wise, but there was a cat on his desk the whole time so, like, pretty good?ā
āOh hell yeah!ā says the other student in the cafeteria.Ā āYou got Widogast? Iām so jealous. I heard he nearly gets fired or even arrestedĀ like every other year for treasonous rhetoric.ā
āWhat.ā
āYeah! Also, the cat. He has like three I think.ā
Having Professor Widogast as a teacher must be wild
Ok but consider, shadowgast Aeorian adventure one-shot where another cast member is the DM and Matt and Liam play Essek and Caleb. My life will be fulfilled.
Celebrating canon shadowgast with some late thumbnail art <3
For my next trick I will now devour an entire clown shoe, ripping it asunder like a croissant as I think long and hard about wizards snuggling amongst a host of cats
i have a lot of thoughts so i am going to get them out of my gay little brain because they're like worms
i've been hearing people call shadowgast queer baiting and i bet everything i know that a lot of it is due to the fact there was no blunt and visible confirmation right then and there, no big "i love you" moment or passionate kissing or mention of living their life together right then
but you need to understand these people do not love in big ways, nor are they going to express it like so, plus caleb is a very closed off and subtle character and in the moment, he was still broken, both of them were broken he most likely couldn't deal with being with another just yet, not until he healed enough to accept itā as matt put it ;
"Two very complicated, broken people finally able to find love after healing as individuals can take time (and perhaps not at the speed some may wish), but their romance is another step to that healing."
there was love there, there always was that love, and in the moment, there was love from both of them in their words, and their actions
"If heāll have meā, āHe willā.
"If essek is open to it" "essek is very open to it"
"I grab him by the arm and give him a kiss on the cheek."
their love is and always will be subtle, in their words, and their actions, it will never be shown in big or loud ways
their love is soft touches and light kisses behind closed doors, late at night while they sit in the bedroom of their old wood house and read stories together as they wrap themselves in blankets to keep close
their love is gentle and it is kept away from the attention of others because these are broken people who never much liked the attention of others, or eyes on them, they spent their lives running from others and avoiding others gaze, why would they want it now, in their most vulnerable moments?
their love is holding hands under the table and running calloused fingers along worn skin and it's reading together in run down ancient libraries under candle light in the aisles of books and it's late night walks under moonlight where Nobody can see them and it's little glances of love across the room, no words spoken directly to one another, because all the words are in the look of love they give
it's quiet, and beautiful, and they are damaged people who need time, and they learn how to love again slowly with each other.
* plus it was confirmed by matt on twitter n that was most likely influenced by the fact people completely missed the love that was already there n instead complained about it :/
This, all of this, their relationship is beautiful
Some thoughts on the CR finale last night:
The Mighty Neinās ending was, for me, very satisfying. I love that it was tonally different to Vox Machinaās. It should have been. Where VMās ending was bittersweet because they had to say goodbye to one of their own, the M9ā²s ending wasā¦full of contentedness. They didnāt have to say goodbye to anyone. Not the way that VM did. Instead, they got to say hello to a new friend, got to settle down and live happy lives, everyone doing their own things but always being there for each other and always coming back. Because they found their family. They found the love and acceptance that they all needed so desperately, and they realized that they could still have that love, that connection, even when separated by great distances and doing their own thing.Ā
Each and every one of them got to have their happy endings. There was no sorrow. Only happiness and love and support for one another as they all went their own ways, knowing their bonds would never be broken.Ā The fact that so many of them could get closure on top of that? It was beautiful. It was exactly what they deserved.
Veth could finally settle down and be with her family.Ā Beau and Yasha could be with one another without the worry of constantly being in a life-or-death situation, instead focusing on the things that they both love: being an expositor and gardening respectively Caduceus got to garden, got to cultivate his beloved grove, and got to show his sister what it means to live as an adventurer. Fjord found the freedom he so longed for in the open sea. And he found the love of a great woman. Kingsley got to decide who he wanted to be, free of the obligations or chains of a past life that he doesnāt remember.Ā Calebā¦Caleb found peace. He found acceptance. He may have the sorrow that comes from losing his parents the way that he did, but heās grown past his need to rewrite time. And he found a love that he chose. Jester? My delightfully chaotic, leetle blue tiefling? She found that she was badass in her own rights and that she could do things without having to rely on Artagan. She found love in Fjord, found adventure in the open sea, found a home again in Nicodranas. Found herself.
Their endings were all so beautiful and perfect, and while I will miss them and miss their adventures, Iām happy and content with knowing theyāve led the lives that they deserved.
Also, fuck Ikithon. He got what he deserved.
The mighty Nein, the mighty Nine
Firsts and Lasts
I love them