Among the stars

I return.

[jellycube-blog]

View this post on Instagram

[cutedessert]

!

[taintedjojo]

the 8th deadly sin, gaming

[lovetten]

gaming is a combination of greed (gamer money), gluttony (potion and munch), envy (friend gets epic loot and you don’t), wrath (nerd rage), sloth (all day gaming), lust (titty game), and pride (epic accomplishment) gaming is not the 8th sin, it’s all of them

[taintedjojo]

holy shit… signal boost

[justcatposts]

[deceiverofgods]

Click here to support Poe needs surgery. by Cassandra Dunn

Poe is my 4 year old ferret. He is my baby and he needs help. We took him to the vet because he was throwing up and heaving, which never happens to healthy ferrets. We were hoping it was just a furball, but ferrets don't cough those up unless cloged. He was walking funny and kept going limp. So...

Poe is my 4 year old ferret. He is my baby and he needs help. We took him to the vet because he was throwing up and heaving, which never happens to healthy ferrets. We were hoping it was just a furball, but ferrets don’t cough those up unless clogged. He was walking funny and kept going limp. So we rushed him to the vet. We waited for 6 hours until 3 am to bring him home. We were showed xrays where a tumor was spotted, they took blood work as well where they found that his enzyme level was really high. Just for that one visit to just examine him cost us $400. They gave us medication and sent us home. We are suppose to bring him back in a week for another specialist to look at him, which will run us another $400. Once we we get his opinion, we were told that its going to be extremely expensive for his surgery. We don’t qualify for pet insurance and we are barely getting by as it is, but I need my Poe here, he has many more years and i’m not ready to part with. We lost 3 chinchillas of old age and our dog Mitsey this year to old age as well… i’m not ready for my other baby to be taken. Anything helps. please share and donate.

[ferretix]

Guys, please help raise money to save this little guy. I know how hard it is to lose a pet and you can help save Poe. Please donate.

[let-it-go-brother]

I can’t stop replaying it

[waitwhatdidtheysay]

[captions]

[Adult beatboxes skillfully at the child]

[Child blows raspberry in response]

[ekjohnston]

This is one of the most delightful things I have seen recently.

[truantanchorite-blog]

viridismater replied to your post: 1 c4n7 w417 70 f1nd 0u7 1f 1m gnn4 h4v3 70 f1ll…

Paperwork?

y34h 1 317h3r h4v3 4 d35c3nd4n7 0r 1m g0nn4 4d0p7 7h15 fuck3r

[viridismater]

!?

[weloveshortvideos]

Her little sister is trying to pronounce the word “who”

[tetoki-deactivated20190401]

How I feel about my little sisters dating.

[angelrecipe-deactivated20180602]

Give me a heartwarming Christmas movie about Satan traveling around the world every Christmas to deliver presents to all the young kids and kids with learning disorders and disabilities who misspell “Santa” on their Christmas letters every year

[eccentricmisseclectic]

And Santa’s all like, “You know, I can handle a few spelling mistakes, I got this,” and Lucifer is like “They’re addressed to me, fuck off, I’m doing it.”

[incurablenecromantic]

Lucifer being protective of his fanmail is ceaselessly entertaining.

[pretentious-git]

Lucifer: hey big guy I need your list because I don’t know what these kids want for christmas and you’ve got all the info. Santa: this isn’t your holiday Lucifer: yeah well james here doesn’t fucking know that so give me the list, he asked for Satan

[pluckedanarchist]

@azraeldigabriel cain

[slimmetra-deactivated20250917]

reblog to hex any and all men who have hurt you

[cartoonnetwork]

Which Pearl describes your mood today?

[nubbsgalore]

“penguin was just a small, wobbly headed magpie chick when my son, noah, found her lying injured on the grass after being blown out of her nest. she was very lucky to survive such a horrendous fall but without immediate care would have died within a day.   

“we built her a simple nest and kept her warm with a tiny blanket. noah immediately named her penguin, due to her black and white plumage.  it is not easy to look after any injured wild creature [so] we undertook a great deal of research about magpies and were extremely grateful for all the specialist veterinary advice we received, especially in regard to penguin’s diet.  

“while getting penguin to eat was a real victory, her recovery remained touch and go. but over time she grew in both stature and confidence. 

“as penguin’s strength grew so did her curiosity. we never locked her inside any kind of cage so she was always free to venture outside the house. it didn’t take long before she started to forage for her own food in the backyard and it was clear she was becoming increasingly independent.  

“despite being free to leave she still chose to sleep inside the house for at least six months. fortunately there is a large frangipani tree in our yard that penguin always felt comfortable in, so that became her home. however if we ever leave a window open she’ll fly inside the house at sunrise and scamper down the hallway to one of the bedrooms and jump into bed.  

“australian magpies are known for their beautiful songs and penguin began singing short songs during the day from a very early age and would eventually sing for hours and hours at a time. whenever we’d pull up in the driveway she’d let out a loud and melodic warble to welcome us home then flap her wings with excitement and run straight to the front door to be let inside.  

“while she will always be a part of our family penguin does not belong to us. the world is hers to explore and she regularly travels elsewhere, sometimes for days at a time. we won’t see her for a while and then, without warning, she confidently walks in the door as if nothing has changed.” (edited for length)

[gauldur-amulet]

If I was in charge of a Pokemon gym it’d be all fire themed. Like there’s just fire everywhere. There’s probably a random person on fire in the background. You have your team completely stacked against fire types. Everyone you fight before me has fire types. You get to me. Expecting more fire types. You send out your first Pokemon, a water type. I throw my pokeball. You expect the expected. A vaporeon comes out. My team is actually entirely made up of vaporeons. I only own vaporeons.

[dualcolours-old]

im the leader after you.

my gyms water themed. yu do water level puzzles and fight swimmers and those kids with the floaties. everyone has water types. knowing the theme, yo bring a team half/half strong against fire and water, just in case because ofnthe last gym. you get to me.

my team is made entirely of gastly, haunter, and gengar, all named exactly 5 purple hearts. i just really like gengar.

the gym? you ask.

it was on sale, i respond.

i cant even swim. ive been here for 6 weeks.

[cailleachy]

I’m the third gym leader…by this point you know what to expect.

You walk through the soft meadows of my gym thinking what should I expect this time? Electric types? FIRE TYPES???? You cross over a beautiful field of daises and tulips, encounter trainers wearing flowers crowns and boasting a plethora of high-level grass and fairy types. Than, deep in the forest while you’re still wondering how the fuck I fit all of this into one building, you encounter a ring of mushrooms, a fairy ring. Inside the ring sits me, the gym leader. You step into the ring ready for battle.

I stand up, walking slowly over to you take you’re hand in mine and gently place something cold and hard into your palm. 

It’s the fairy gyms badge.

I’m not even a Pokemon trainer, I just respond to an ad on craigslist for a gym leader and was the only applicant. 

You walk away very confused…and slightly disappointed. 

[ohlookskeletons-deactivated2021]

I’m some kid you meet on the road just beside the gym. At this point you are questioning why you keep going.

I ask you a bunch of questions and help you out and even give you a special Pokémon. Then I ask you if you’ve been to the gym and talk about the gym leader. When you say no I push you in the gym.

You battle rock types and you are wondering if you’re even prepared to fight the gym leader. When you finally get to the leaders room, I’m there.

I strike up a friendly conversation and ask you what you think of the gym. I then say “Thanks, I made this myself. It’s still growing. So if you come back I can give you the badge then but it hasn’t come in the mail yet.”

At this point you probably don’t even want to be there anymore. I hand you a small pin that is in the shape of the badge but it’s definitely homemade and cheep. “It’s an I.O.U” I say.

You leave wondering if leaving home at 10 to battle all of these strange people was really worth it.

[lleuslll]

In the next town you decide to speak to the citizens first instead of heading straight for the gym unprepared. They live here, you tell yourself, they must know about this gym and how it works. A pleasant old lady informs you the gym leader is dearly fond of psychic types and is not known to stray like previous trainers. You believe her. Why would an old lady lie to you?

After stocking your team with dark types you take the gym head on. Battling your way through psychic trainers with ease, you finally arrive to a large room. There I stand. The battle commences and you defeat my first two Pokemon, Hypno and Alakazam, with ease. You laugh to yourself, after the hardships of the previous gyms this is like child’s play. I send out my third Pokemon, a beedrill. Dark is weak to Bug. “Something bugging you buddy?” I say with a wink as I decimate your team. You leave without a badge.

Fuck this region.

[lettuce-gremlin]

By the time you reach the next town, you’re wondering if this Gym challenge was even worth this. Maybe it would have been better to do Competitions. But you continue trudging along.

Supposedly the Gym Leader uses fighting types. She’s a body builder who wrangles Krookodile in her free time. You don’t know what to expect, so you bring a few psychic and flying types, and then make the rest of your team fairly diverse type-wise just in case.

You’re able to battle your way through the trainers and work your way through the Rock Smash puzzle with little difficulty. You meet me in a small room with wrestling mats on the floor and dumbells next to the walls. I’m working out on the opposite side of the room. I set down the weights as you approach. “I take it you are here to battle me.”

You nod. I flex. “Very well. If you want to receive my badge, you’re going to have to fight me for it. Literally.”

You decide maybe you just weren’t cut out for the trainer life.

[sazandorable]

“The Gym Leader just does her own thing, pretty much. She couldn’t pick just one type or theme, she just uses Pokémon she finds cute.”

Oh, yeah, I’m one of those. You-can-win-with-any-Pokémon-just-use-what-you-like. Whatever, that one multi-types douche from Kanto was pretty predictable, typical species, no tricky type combinations. ‘Cute’, huh? You switch in a few Steel and Poison Pokémon, expecting a couple Fairies. You remember that one Pachirisu story and bring a Ground type, just in case.

My Gym has zero trainers, but it’s full of bright colors and cheery pastels, cushions and stuffed Pokémon toys lying around on the plush carpet — and not in the creepy abandoned-kid’s-room way, just genuinely cute and playful. Feel-good. I greet you with a pleasant smile and offer you candy.

Ok, your expectations have been punched in the face every time so far, but you’ve actually got my personality pinned down, and there is absolutely no threat in it. You relax, and actually feel confident for once.

“I’m not particularly good, let’s just have fun!” I tell you cheerfully. 

I send out a Hydreigon.

[viridismater]

I have no been feeling well lately. I apologize for my absence.

[gleamblossoms]

[resting-meme-face]

is this Dark Water?

[truestoriesaboutme]

This is a Jack Handey quote, actually. People talk about certain writers shitposting before shitposting was a thing, but Jack Handey practically invented shitposting. He wrote these short nonsense one liners and they published them in the National Lampoon and played them on SNL in the 90s. There’s a shit ton of them and they all sound like shitposts. Here’s just a few:

“I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don’t just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.”

“Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It’s a shark riding on an elephant’s back, just trampling and eating everything they see.”

“To me, it’s always a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, “Hey, can you give me a hand?,” you can say, “Sorry, got these sacks.“”

“If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I’d say Flippy, wouldn’t you? You’d be wrong, though. It’s Hambone.”

“I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale.  They look and look, but you know what?  They never find him.  And you know why they never find him?  It doesn’t say.  The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide.  Then, at the very end, there’s a page you can lick and it tastes like Kool-Aid.”

“If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down?  We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.”

“If you’re an ant, and you’re walking along across the top of a cup of pudding, you probably have no idea that the only thing between you and disaster is the strength of that pudding skin”

“I wish I lived on a planet that had two suns—regular sun and “rogue” sun. That way, when somebody asked me what time it was, I’d say, “Regular time?” And they’d say, “Yeah.”  And I’d say, “Sorry, all I have is rogue time.”  It’d be fun to be a stuck-up rogue-time guy.”

“If you’re a cowboy, and you’re dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine.”

“I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you’re having a good idea but it’s just eggs hatching.”

“If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think it’s okay to feed some bits of your friend to one of the vultures, to teach him to do some tricks.  But ONLY if you’re serious about adopting the vulture.”

“If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you’ll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.”

“We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients.  But we can’t scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.”

[theoreticalconstruct]

There were so many of these, and they were all hilarious. Still are.

“It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.”

“The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.”

“I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye.”  

“Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someones neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing.”

“The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I remember we’d all pile into the car - I forget what kind it was - and drive and drive. I’m not sure where we’d go, but I think there were some trees there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called “Dad.” We’d eat some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home. I guess some things never leave you.”

[cat-government]

fluffball exposed

[theotheralice]