āWill you be all right until Etain gets here?ā
Darman looks up from his datapad. Itās still a shock to see Bardan as he is nowāno robes, green beskarāgam, helmet under his arm. Heās gone a few days without a shave, cut his hair to a manageable length, and had Darman not known better, could have been mistaken for a born and bred Mandoāad.
āIāll be fine. Thanks, Bardāika.ā
āBe back in three hours.ā Bardan disappears behind the helmet, now a faceless Mandalorian. He pauses, and Darman looks at him, half-expecting him to say one more then. But then he turns and leaves, and Darman is alone.
He waits. Heād much rather have met up with Etain when she returned to the barracks, walked with her down the skywalk to take a transport to the apartment. Maybe hold hands like the couples heās seen milling around Triple Zero. But this is what they signed up for: a clone and a Jedi general couldnāt be together, so they had to meet in secret.
At least the squad knows. In fact, maybe too many folks are well aware of his and Etainās relationship. There is some comfort knowing they arenāt the only onesāAtin and Ordo had their respective partners, too.
Before long, Etain pings his datapad Iām here. And the door opens.
Darman crosses the room as Etain drops her bag and heads straight for him. They crash together, Darman scooping her up into his arms and lifting her off the floor. Her arms tighten around his shoulders, her head turns to pepper the side of his head with kisses. He doesnāt put her down, carrying her to the couch. They fall onto the couch and Darman pulls Etain into his lap. They say nothing for a good, long while, letting their kisses and hands do the talking.
āDar,ā Etain says, interrupted by another urgent kiss. āDarman.ā
It occurs to Darman that she may not be repeating his name out of desperation, and actually has something to tell him. His hands frame her hips, dark eyes peering up. āYes, Etāika?ā
She takes a deep breath. She seems burdened by what she wants to say. Her jaw tenses, her lips pressed together. He inhales, and she cups his cheek, an apology waiting in her wide eyes.
āEtain. Please.ā Darmanās heart starts to sink.
āDar, Iām pregnant.ā
His heart does something different, stopping for a beat. āWhat?ā
She blinks, the corners of her eyes are wet with tears. āIām pregnant.ā
āYes.ā Etainās eyes well up and she inhales sharply like the question punched her in the gut. āOur child.ā
āOh.ā Darman scrambles to hold onto reality. A child. Their child. Our child. āYouāre pregnant?ā he confirms, his voice lifting.
Etain takes his face into her hands. āYes, Darman. I am pregnant. With our child.ā
Darman looks down as if heās confused by the lack of any indication of the pregnancy on her person. āHow?ā He knows how. āI meanāwhen?ā
āIām twelve weeks along, which meansā¦ā Her face turns red. After a moment of reflection, Darman remembers where they were twelve weeks ago, too.
Darman breaks into a grin. Etain watches his face, still teary-eyed. āRight,ā he says with a faint smile. In war, pleasant memories come few and far between. His smile fades when he looks into Etainās fretful eyes.
āIām so sorry, Dar, I donāt know what happened. I thought I could prevent this.ā
Darman turns his face into Etainās hand and kisses her palm. Heās at a loss for words. His heart starts to pound in his chest as his mind works over the details. What are they going to do when the baby comes? Wonāt Etain get into trouble with the Jedi?
āDar, talk to me. Please.ā
āIām still trying toā¦ā A baby. Heās never interacted with a baby before, only seen them through glass. āIām in shock.ā
Etainās hands move to his shoulders, her fingers clutching red fabric. āIām sorry.ā
āDonāt be sorry.ā Darman pulls Etain close, wrapping her up in his arms and holding her against his chest. The future has always been uncertain for him and this is no different. All he knows is: āI love you.ā
āI love you, too.ā Etain sniffs.
āItās going to be okay.ā
Etain tightens her grip on his shoulders and he hears her hold back a sob. āI understand if you donātāwant thisābutāI do.ā
Her words punch him in the gut. āEtāika.ā
āI know it sounds crazy, but I can feel in the Force that this is right.ā
Darman rubs a soothing hand over Etainās back as he considers her words. How can it be right, when they have to hide their relationship? How can it be right, when Darman himself has no rights? How can it be right when in less than 48 hours, they would both be redeployed to fight in a war?
Heās asked and answered all of those questions, and he chose Etain every time.
āI trust you,ā Darman says. āIf you want this. If you think I can be a good father.ā
āOf course, Darman. Youāll be a great father.ā
Etain sits up and when Darman looks into her earnest eyes, he could be persuaded to believe her. He smiles. āWeāre going to have a baby.ā
