pairing: choi subong (thanos) x f!reader
WARNING the content written below contains nsfw/dark themes (unprotected sex, mentions of drugs) read at your own risk.
subong had unique ways of getting under your skin. he was sort of like an itch, one that you couldn’t quite reach.
he always knew exactly what words to say, choosing to whisper them softly into your ear as he trailed his rough hands along your soft, bare skin.
the relationship—if you could even call it one, that you had with subong was far from stable. he’d constantly weave in and out of your life, disappearing suddenly once he got what he wanted from you.
the first week without him felt like hell. since you had completely devoted yourself to subong, giving him all of your time and attention, you were left completely broken when he left.
your feelings didn’t matter to him though, they never did. subong was only in love with the idea of having you wrapped around his finger, not you as a person. so whenever things started to feel too real for him, he’d break away from you.
at first, he’d start replying to your texts later than usual.
then, those late replies would turn into no texts from him at all.
next thing you know, he’d be ignoring you completely, declining all of your calls and leaving you on delivered.
after about a month of no contact, you spotted him at a party and like a fool, you ran up to him excitedly, only to have him to brush you off and walk away, treating you like a complete stranger.
since that night, your self image has been shattered into a million pieces. you’d spend hours at a time staring at yourself in the mirrors of your own home, crying and wondering what it was that made you so undesirable.
even though subong ruined you, you couldn’t bring yourself to hate him. hell, you couldn’t even convince yourself that you didn’t care about him anymore because every time you tried to, a part of you ached. the same part of you that died when he left.
since his latest disappearance from your life, you’ve decided to move on and settle down with someone new. you've been dating your current boyfriend for six months, starting the relationship started only a couple of months after subong stopped contacting you.
you could finally breathe.
but whenever you sat down and thought about it, you realized just how meaningless this relationship was. it was nothing more than a distraction, nothing more than something you were using to take your mind off of subong.
the arms of your boyfriend wrapped around your waist from behind, pulling you closer into him as he lazily rested his head on your shoulder.
“goodnight, baby.” he drawled, moving your hair behind your ear and leaving a trail of faint kisses along your neck.
you tugged lightly at the comforter, pulling it up to your chin and just as your eyes shut, your phone began to ring. you let out a scoff as you lazily reached over the bedside table to grab your phone.
once your phone was in your hand, you brought it to your face, squinting slightly due to the brightness. once your eyes adjusted, your heart dropped.
you blinked a few times, unsure if you were seeing correctly. “no way.” you gasped, eyes widening slightly as they looked over the contact name that read “subong♡︎”.
right now, subong was the last person that you wanted to hear from, the last person that you needed.
seeing him call only reopened the wounds that you were trying so hard to heal.
as much as you wanted to decline his call, you couldn’t.
although you’d never say it out loud, you were still stuck on the “situationship” that the two of you had before, so you caved in. just he hoped you would.
you pulled your phone up to your ear as you answered the call, letting a quiet “hello?” fall from your lips.
“señorita, heyy, how have you been?” his voice was low, laced with an unsettling sense of warmth.
“i guess you’re not happy to hear from me then,” he chuckled. “you busy right now? let me come and see you.”
come and see you? no way.
you weren’t even home. you were at your boyfriends house, laid up underneath him in his bed.
there's no way he could come and see you right now.
"don't bother, i'll come to you." and with that, you ended the call before he could even form a sentence.
you then hopped out of bed, darting to flip the light switch on as you gathered your things.
“where are you going?” a sleepy voice mumbled.
“i have to go help out a friend,” you quickly lied, pulling his t-shirt over your head and dropping it onto the floor.
he sat up in bed, watching as you hurriedly changed into your original clothing.
“right now? it’s pretty late.” he whined.
“i have to go—” you turned away from him and he latched onto your wrist, making you pause and turn to face him.
“babe, do you really have to?” he questioned, locking his glossy eyes onto yours.
“yes, i’ll see you tomorrow. i love you.” you pulled him in for a light kiss, one that lasted no longer than a second, before breaking away and storming out of his home and heading to subong’s.
once you arrived at subong’s house, he let you in, greeting you almost immediately.
"you look..amazing." he complemented.
"you don't look too bad yourself." you replied dryly, making yourself comfortable on the couch.
"have you been alright?" he took a seat in front of you, leaning forward as he questioned.
his kindness nearly offended you. he was acting as if nothing ever happened between the two of you and this made your blood boil.
how could he be so calm after almost a year of no contact?
"wouldn’t you like to know," you scoffed, rolling your eyes as you did so. “it’s been so long, subong.”
“i know, that’s why i’m wondering.” he chuckled, averting his eyes on a cross shaped necklace.
“i’m wondering too,” his brows furrowed slightly as he looked up towards you. “wondering why you’d always leave, wondering why treated me like a stranger.”
“i’m sorry.” his eyes softened, filling with a hint of what seemed to be regret as they laid upon yours.
subong had never looked at you like that before, and he never said that he was sorry, ever. so why now?
“the first time that i broke contact with you, i never meant to come back.” subong spoke, breaking the silence. “there was something about you though, something that kept pulling me back. i didn’t know what it was and then i figured it out. i was attached to you.” he explained, voice shaking slightly.
“y—” as soon as you spoke, he cut you off.
“i don't want to be attached to you, y/n, that’s the problem.” he admitted with a hint of frustration in his voice.
“but why not?” your voice trembled as you questioned him.
"because i don’t deserve someone like you,” he finally looked at you. “you’re so sweet, so full of life, and i’m just…wasting away, popping pills and getting high everyday, shoving every drug that i can get my hands on into my system. i’d ruin you, y/n.”
after your words, an unsettling silence filled the room, and it quickly becoming suffocating to sit in.
your eyes filled with tears, blurring your vision slightly. subong rushed over to you, enveloping you into his arms as you burried your face into his chest and allowed your tears to fall.
subong pulled you closer, trailing his hand along your back while you shuddered in his arms, sobbing, and staining his shirt with your tears.
you pulled yourself away from him, missing his warm embrace as soon as you did, and stared up at him through your lashes. he grabbed your face in his hand, using his thumb to wipe away at the tears that sat on your reddened cheeks.
“i missed you so fucking much..” he murmured, caressing your cheek softly before crashing his lips into yours hungrily.
within seconds, you melted into the kiss, reciprocating his energy as soon as your lips met his. his lips curled up into a smirk up against yours as he slid his tongue into your mouth and grabbed onto your waist, pulling you deeper into the kiss, drawing a muffled moan from you.
you broke the kiss, pulling away with a pant, watching aimlessly as the string of saliva that connected you two broke apart.
instead of responding, he tightened his grip on your waist and pulled you onto his lap as he leaned into your neck, attacking it with soft bites and kisses.
one of his hands trailed away from your waist, slowly dragging across your skin as it went up your shirt, forcing a soft moan out of you.
your hips slightly bucked into him as his hand grabbed onto your boobs, making another soft moan slip from between your lips.
his hands moved quickly, guiding you into his bedroom and removing your clothes like his life depended on it.
his eyes, dark and full of lust, stared at your naked body with an unexplainable desire before he laid you onto the bed and spread your legs slowly, watching in complete awe as your pussy dripped.
wasting no time, he latched his mouth onto your clit, sucking and licking circles around it while he eased two of his fingers inside of you. your moans fell out, filling his bedroom as he lapped at your clit, sucking softly while he curled his fingers up into you at a brutal pace.
your fingers became tangled in his hair as you held onto it for support, hips bucking up into his face whenever he hit your sweet spot.
“fuck— i’m gonna..mmh-” you moan out, pulsing around his digits.
“not yet, baby.” he cooed, sliding his fingers out of your warmth.
the sound of his zipper could be heard, making you turn your gaze towards him.
your eyes watched desperately as he pulled his pants off, hooking his finger in the waistband of his boxers in a teasing manner before pulling them off as well.
his cock sprang up, grazing his lower abdomen before he took it in his hand, stroking it a few times before lining it with your entrance.
the tip of his cock glistened, leaking with precum as it rubbed your clit teasingly.
he then slid inside of you, filling you completely.
your moans synced with his, spilling out as soon as he thrusted into of you, giving you no time to adjust to his size.
your legs wrapped around him as he thrusted into you again, deeper this time. he paused, groaning into your ear lowly before his thrusts continued, quickening with each movement of his hips.
your head began to spin, thoughts becoming clouded as subong’s hips slammed into yours mercilessly.
his hand wrapped around your neck and squeezed tightly as he pounded into you.
your walls fluttered around his cock, tightening whenever the tip of his cock grazed your cervix.
that familiar knot began to form within your lower abdomen as you neared your orgasm.
subong loosened his grip on your neck, slowing his thrusts as he leaned into your neck, kissing and leaving a trail of hickeys behind.
“go ahead, baby.” he cooed in a whisper.
your lips parted, before closing again. you were unable to speak, only spilling out a string of short breaths, moans, and whines as subong’s hips stuttered inside of you.
your entire body jolted as you unraveled, allowing your juices to cover his cock completely.
subong’s moans loudened as his cock twitched inside of you. he quickly pulled out, allowing a low groan to leave his body as his warm ropes of cum covered your core.
your bodies inched together, panting, slouching, and glistening with sweat as you came down from your orgasms.
subong leaned into you, chuckling lightly as he pressed a kiss into your forehead.
maybe “situationships” weren’t so bad..
the idea of this fic was taken from and heavily inspired by @makeitworse ‘s “illicit affairs” ♡ ( go read it, it’s amazing :D ) ‧₊˚ ⋅ ౨ৎ ‧₊ .
