have a love/hate relationship with home

complaints about home

[podcastwizard]

hearing the john mulaney “do my friends hate me or do i just need to go to sleep” bit is the best thing to have happened for my mental health because every time i’m afraid my friends hate me it’s around the time i should be going the fuck to sleep

[bladesandstars]

I read somewhere “if you feel like everyone hates you you need to sleep and if you feel like you hate everyone else you need to eat” and it was honestly world-shattering and I wish I’d heard it years ago!

[copperbadge]

My mum taught me HALT – “Are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired?” which is a fairly standard quick self-assessment – but she also taught me that if you are both angry AND lonely you are probably actually Hungry or Tired. 

[whitepeopletwitter]

[alexseanchai]

[image: tweet by BeardedGenius: “Fact we’re in the ‘Twenties’ sounds so weird. It’s so synonymous with the 1920s. Sounds like a bygone era when women were still fighting for their rights, the upper classes were living a life of hedonism whilst people starved & the world was on the verge of financial ruin and war”.]

[gotsickofmyoldurl]

i hate when people vilify psychiatric pills as ‘mind-altering drugs’

like

yes

that’s exactly what they are

they are for mental illness

mental

if i had a kidney-related illness, i would hope to have kidney-altering drugs on the market

[thebkwyrm]

Also, people like to say “well you wouldn’t give diabetics shit for taking insulin” and I am here to tell you, as the mother of two T1 diabetics, the same people who are giving you shit for psychiatric medication are also giving me shit for keeping my kids alive with insulin.

Why don’t you switch to keto (because restricting food for kids is a certifiably Bad Idea and they will still need insulin).

Why don’t you just not feed them sugar (because they’ll die - they NEED fast-acting sugar when their blood glucose goes too low).

Why don’t you feed them okra/cinnamon/essential oils/vegan/low carb/no carb (because they’ll still need insulin and that crap doesn’t work anyway).

There will always be someone who will give you shit for doing ANYTHING that’s not “natural” to make your life better - even if what’s “natural” is for you to be dead.

[lauramkaye]

Even if what’s “natural” is for you to be dead.

I think, subconsciously, for a lot of those people this is not a big but a feature.

[labelleizzy]

I think a lot of people lack imagination to the degree that they literally CANNOT CONCEIVE of someone else who needs different things than they do, who has a different life than they do, different struggles, different injuries.

Moreover I suspect that the people who can’t imagine it certainly can’t feel compassionately towards those people with a different life experience. Thirdly, I suspect that they’re terrified that their “control” over their lives and health might be a …well, a LIE. Because if they can’t control All The Things and the world is Chaotically Indifferent to them, then Anything’s Possible.

And THAT’S TERRIFYING. If you never imagined that the shit could hit the fan, you have no coping skills for when it DOES.

Denial is easier, and reassuring. If The Bad Shit hasn’t happened yet, some people want to continue believing Bad Shit Simply Won’t Happen.

(That didn’t work out for me, (clearly) and nowadays I tear denial down as soon as I recognize I’m doing it, because I need to SEE WHAT’S REALLY THERE so I can hopefully dodge the fan-splattered excrement.)

[zooophagous]

Video killed the radio star. Internet kills television. Internet creates the podcast. The internet killed video and brought the radio star back to life.

[alicenginger]

The radio star eats man, women inherit the earth

[starship-goldfish]

The economic realities of Baby boomers versus Millennials 

[c-bassmeow]

that comment has had me thinking for days… like im reblogging this shit a week later from my likes cus its the PERFECT analogy 

[myfatfuckingface]

Been watching Star Trek: The Next Generation and tbh my favorite episodes are the ones about gender/sexuality

Bc it’s mostly cishet white male writers trying to envision a utopian future society where Gender Equality has been realized

So the Gender Equality is still awkwardly binary and jarringly essentialist and oddly patriarchal

And then sometimes they have episodes where the Gender Equality society discovers a new world where they have Gender Inequality

And the writers trip all over themselves trying to impart some Egalitarian Truth like “sexism is Bad bc if the womyns were in charge they would make men dress in silly queer-coded outfits 😭😭😭”

like it’s all based on such a shallow understanding of gender and sexuality but it presents itself as being a radical, mindblowing take

U just have to Laugh, they are like little babies, it’s so cute

[myfatfuckingface]

This meme is relevant

[awed-frog]

adults pretending to be teens in us shows

adults pretending to be teens in european shows

[rushman2-0]

Via @prettyaveragewhiteshark

[sweetgrassbraids-deactivated202]

the tenderness…. 

[bright-eyed]

the whole quote is very heartwarming:

“And we are not the only animal that has to teach our young. Old lobsters show their migration routes to young ones by holding claws, the way we hold hands, and walking the long miles together. A kitten without a mother to teach her may not ever learn to hunt small mammals. Such cats will let mice run all over them—though once they are shown, they never forget. A bee coming home from her first pollen run will be stroked all over by the other bees in praise and encouragement, even though she’s probably carrying only one-tenth of what she will learn to in a few weeks. Beavers held in captivity without flowing water don’t know how to make dams—that knowledge was passed down through the generations until humans interrupted their process of enculturation.”

[vix-at-home]

okay so i haven’t had much to vent about in a year. it is mostly because about a year ago i actually got a stable job. and guess what, even if it is part time and i still live at home, things got better. Unless my parents are out on vacation. but let’s not get into that here. Let’s just say i get stressed out by my sister when that is the case.

i’m happish at my job: its fast food and its not the worst but definitely not something I want to be doing in even three years, which is approximately how i think of jobs at this point in my life with how gigs go in industries i would most likely to be hired in. i have a stablish home & few money problems. my parents want me to have more responsibilities with how i spend my money, but honestly i get it. I just don’t want to because i want a stash of cash to grow when economies of scale say i’m not too much to feed and house. since i work a minimum wage kind of job, even though they pay me pretty well out the gate (most of a dollar over minimum), i still don’t get paid enough to actually live on my own honestly. well i could, but the results wouldn’t be pretty. i still have college loans to pay, and if i had to add actual living expenses i would drop into actually no money in a couple of months. I know most of one of my 2 paychecks a month go to my loan, so having another paycheck to cover expenses like the roof over my head and food wouldn’t quite cover it. i’m okayish with my family and friends. i wish my old high school friends invited me to hang with them, my college friends lived closer, that i had time off that aligned with other’s more readily. my immediate family seems extremely strained but i’m not sure if it is me or what. granted my mom seems to have cooled in some ways in others it feels like she is throwing even more shade my way. toss in my dad’s seemingly shortening temper and something here is going to have to give. here’s to hope its me getting a job that i move out to move back in with my college roommate (who lives local-ish, if we consider an hour away local). 

there are too many ish’s here. though doesn’t that sound about average everywhere.

[vix-at-home]

injured hands

i have a part-time job at a hospitality service (read: hospitality temp jobs) and I also take commissions as an artist. 

i just finished a several day string at the same job as a dishwasher. and my hands are cut up and stiff as hell. I can barely hold a stylus without my hand shaking too bad. 

[vix-at-home]

I'm actually kinda sad that I've spent most of the evening the past two days working on my commission information. No drawing, nothing particularly relaxing. Going from job hunts to the commission information, then to bed. And it might be leaving me more exhausted than I should be. Though I might be better today just because I wrote a long thing on why a specific type of circumstances may be permitted, as I do have some very specific things that break my typical opinions.

[calendiles-archive]

The last person you texted, the protagonist of the last TV show you watched, and your icon are now your companions during the zombie apocalypse

Are you gonna survive?

[vix-at-home]

Permission to do one thing is NOT permission to do other things

My dad often does system updates and things like that to my computer when he know it needs it. He asked me to do that and I said fine. Now my dad either thinks I'm an idiot or just doesn't care what he does, so when he uses my computer I often check the history and things like that. Now normally he's fine looking at whatever tickles his funny bone at the time and things like that. But this time he was going through my emails in the middle of waiting for an update. Like that is a huge no-no. That's the kind of shit that if I wasn't financially in need of him, I'd be in his face and pissed. Instead I have to be passive-aggressive about it if I make any reaction. Because this is shit. Like I hate this. Never did I keep a traditional diary or anything like that so I never really got the whole how it feels to have parents invade your privacy beyond going in your room thing. Like, thanks asshole. But this is worse than that. Correspondence not relevant to you. You are not the recipient and seriously with a few of these companies if I was any farther in the job process, I could get into some strong legal problems because contracts. Also, dad you can potentially get into some hefty legal trouble yourself due to how privacy fucking works. Also again, contracts, specifically confidentiality ones, are very frequently in industries I can work in. You can't do this kind of thing. So get used to me lying or just not talking about things, because I can't. Get used to me not wanting to talk to you because you are breaking my trust of how you interact with me and my things. Because you might be putting my jobs on the line.

[vix-at-home]

Bug killer, don't ask the neutral for help

My sister has been killing bugs all day today apparently. She tried getting me to kill things, but I’m like “I’m shorter than you and it’s on the ceiling.” Also only she cares but I’m not going to tell her that part.

Her official score for the evening: sister 2, bugs 1.

[vix-at-home]

I am so confused

I am currently scratching my head at my current mystery. Last week there were a total of four laundry baskets, two of them being my sisters and my parents, one of them being the one assigned to me when I am home and another being the one I brought home with me. So where did the one of them go? Like one of them just straight disappeared. No, really, where is it?

[vix-at-home]

Dad, you really don’t have to prove my thought process I am not welcome anywhere just by existing. You are literally yelling at me for getting applesauce and filling the dishwasher. For existing in your house, breathing your air, and not being up in my little corner, out of sight and out of mind. For making noise of any sort even if it might help with the little chores. 

Now I’m sitting in another room trying not to cry. But failing desperately. And that makes me feel even worse, because I was so happy to finish my larger piece today....

[vix-at-home]

Sister, your guitars and ukulele are ticking me off because I so badly just want to play a harp right now just to feel strings under my nails. 

but I have no access to my favorite instrument so I am just going to be mad that we have 7 instruments all in reach but none of them ones I enjoy playing.