1) Why did Ardyn back out on asking someone out?
Because he couldn’t find the stars-courage to do it.
2) What do you call Ravus’s prosthetic?
A Royal Arm.
3) What do you call an angry Amicitia?
Madiolus.
4) What do you call a sad Amicitia?
Sadiolus.
5) What do you call a happy Amicitia?
Iris.
6) Did you hear about the fruit farmer that lost his daemon stock?
He no longer sells Tonberries.
7) What do you call the ooze that comes from a starscourged cactus?
Cac-Tar
8) Why did Noctis take out his rod during the meeting?
Because he was fishing for compliments.
9) Did you hear that Ignis got triggered?
He was having an episode.
10) How does Ardyn always know where to find Noctis?
He actually just finds Noctis by chance-llor.
11) What do you call a dragoon horse?
An Ara-neigh-a.
12) What do you call a sad tonberry?
A blueberry.
13) What do you call a commander that has left his position?
Away-vus.
14) How did the chancellor get to his appointment?
He drove his Cardyn.
15) Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Luna.
Luna who?
Lu-not alot of screentime.
16) What do you call a memeing mechanic who loves almonds?
Cindy’s Nuts. (HA! GOT EEM.)
17) What’s the strategist’s favorite animal?
A Piggy.
18) What do you call a journalist with an extinct career?
A Dino-saur.
19) Did you hear about the Glaive who failed to protect his king?
Oh well. Better luck Nyx time.
20) What do you call an angry glaive who fills in the blanks?
A Mad Lib.
21) How come the mad scientist looks so old and ugly?
Because he was the Verst-of-all.
22) The prince wanted to find his way home, but he was Noct going to get back so easily.
23) What did the photographer use when he became a cheerleader?
Prom-poms.
24) How come the messenger always tackles you?
Because she keeps wanting to Genti-on-ya.
25) What do you call the messenger who starts expressing their anger to you?
A Vent-iana.
26) What do you call a messenger that you’re begging forgiveness from?
Repent-iana.
27) What do you call the messenger when she obeys the oracle?
A Servant-iana.
28) What did Prompto say to Ignis when they needed to distract the MTs in the city?
“Les-stall-um!”
29) Why did the marshal get hit by the ball?
He didn’t have any hand-eye Cor-dination.
30) Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven got turned into a daemon.
31) Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Kings of Lucis.
Kings of Lucis who?
Kings of Loose-his keys, so please open up.
32) What did the messenger dogs have to do before they got married?
They had to sign a Prynap.
33) What’s black and white and red all over?
A newspaper about Ravus’s death.
34) Why did the artist add Ignis to the portrait?
Because it added character.
35) What do you call a phony fish god?
You-lie-athan.
36) What do you call a sad French fish god?
A le-cry-athan.
37) How did the bird make bread?
With choco-dough.
38) How many princes does it take the save the world?
Depends on the universe.
39) How comes Ignis never goes to the ocean anymore?
Well, it’s not like he can sea it anyways.
40) What event was the chancellor late to?
Ar-dynner.
41) What do you call Prompto hitting people with his camera?
A slapshot.
42) How come the bird wasn’t let into the candy store?
Because it was choco-late.
43) What did Regis call his video game party with his old friends?
A King’s Knight.
44) What happened when Ignis tripped with his pasta?
It landed las-on-ya.
45) What did the Amictia use to remove her pencil marks?
An Iris-er.
46) What’s Libertus’s favorite bird?
A Crowe.
47) How comes Ignis didn’t need his glasses to fight Ardyn?
Because he had crystal-clear vision.
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