hello please ignore the state of this blog it is a WIP
first snz blog i am terrified to be here wow the idea of being seen is horrifying but also everyone is so talented and i want to be friends with people and write stuff and read stuff
truly i am here to be feral and reblog everyone's fics with an unholy amount of tags and hype people up
MINORS DNI
fic list that someday i'll be cool enough to deserve (and specifically caters to my interests)
untitled - wolfwood allergy in the jeep, fet!vash
flicker - vox sneeze, fet!val ... idk what happened 2 me
more untitled - sorn from baldurs gate, 2nd person narrator w/ fet
reactions & afflictions - sci fi ocs vesen(alien) & jin, allergies, fet!jin
painkillers - sci fi ocs vesen & jin, request jin w/ a cold
strawberry scones - sam from s/stardew allergies, fet!farmer
playing chicken - wolfwood allergy on back of a thomas, fet!vash
h/alsin b/g3 allergy, kink tav, 2.1k
for those not familiar with the fandom: enormous kinky beefcake bear-coded druid who is felled by nothing wanders off into the woods to sneeze without disturbing his companions
for those familiar: pls enjoy astarion being an absolute bitch about it for .5 seconds
regular goodies: allergies, vouyuerism, partner with the kink
extra flavor: giant man, giant snz, formerly indomitable force meets pollen, forced politeness, h/alsin being a sap tbh
THIS IS JUST FOR ME I WROTE THIS FOR ME OK SORRY YOU HAVE TO SEE IT
“And here I thought druids were supposed to appreciate all of nature’s many charms.”
Astarion’s musical voice drips with amusement. Tav picks up on it outside his tent as the lithe shadow of the elf passes over the sun drenched silk of his doorway. Just behind him, Karlach’s larger figure marches diligently along the same path.
“Oh, he’s appreciating them all right,” she snorts.
Tav rubs his eyes and rolls over. It’s morning, or at least it feels like it from the ache in his spine and the slightly cool air whisking over from the lake. He picks his head up and tries to follow the thread of conversation. His companions are talking about a druid, so they must mean Halsin. Tav hasn’t seen him since the night before.
Memories come warm and sticky like honey. Halsin’s hazel eyes fond in firelight. A low chuckle. A massive hand settled onto the small of Tav’s back. His heart quickens just at the thought.
Outside, Karlach sighs with a note of sympathy. “Never heard anyone sneeze so much in my life.”
Tav’s heartbeat nearly catapults out of his chest at that. His fingers fist in his blankets before he tears them away and scrambles up. Despite wishing to burst free from the tent like a demon, he tries to make his movements as unhurried as possible. It’s with great effort that he emerges from his sleeping arrangements without appearing impatient and affects a bored glance over at the others as they settle around the warm embers from last nights campfire.
“Morning,” Tav says and makes a show of scrubbing his eyes.
“Good morning to you too, darling,” Astarion purrs, “And aren’t you looking lovely?”
“Heya, soldier. You sleep okay?” Karlach waves.
Tav nods. His patience has limits, however. “What were you guys talking about?”
Karlach gestures back over her shoulder towards the tree line, “Halsin. Surprised you didn’t hear him earlier this morning. Poor guy was sneezing his head off before he crawled off to the woods to do it in private.”
The warm flooding of pleasure in Tav’s stomach doesn’t stop his momentary concern. “Is he alright?”
Astarion’s eyes glitter with amusement, “He says it’s the flowers growing nearby setting him off.”
The vampire looks positively delighted to be delivering said information, as if he knows what it’s doing to Tav. Tav knows that’s impossible, and Astarion is clearly just tickled by the irony of it all, but it still makes his cheeks flush with unexpected warmth.
“A druid with allergies! Ha!” Astarion claps his hands once, “You can’t make this up.”
“I should go see if he needs anything,” Tav chews the inside of his lip. His body feels like it’s full of needles.
Thankfully, he has a well-known weak spot when it comes to Halsin. His abrupt need to go to check on him isn’t exactly out of the ordinary, nor is it any cause for suspicion. Astarion merely waves him off with a delicate hand and Karlach nods sagely. “Tell him he can come back any time, big guy’s too hard on himself.”
“I’d rather he stay out there,” Astarion balks, “I’d like to preserve my hearing, thank you very much.”
Tav leaves them to squabble and heads for the tree line where Karlach indicated. He knows he should probably change into something other than the clothes he slept in but he’s too warm already and the thought of delaying getting to Halsin makes her skin feel even more prickly and sharp.
—
Given how familiar he is with the volume with which Halsin can expel an irritant, Tav has some idea of what he’s getting into. Even still, the first far off sneeze he manages to catch once he’s in proximity stuns him with its power. The druid still has to be a few hundred feet off but Tav hears it clear as day. It's an unrushed, heavy thing with so much of Halsin’s voice in it, his knees go weak.
It only takes him a matter of moments to close in on his lover’s position. And when he does, the sight there unravels him completely.
Tav has never seen Halsin at the mercy of anything that wasn’t his animal form. That particular loss of control has always been wickedly erotic to him as well, just for the sheer rarity of it. It's not something Halsin enjoys succumbing to, however. The first time it happened when they made love, he’d been apologetic about it. Sheepish, even.
Halsin is a man who is undaunted by much of anything. It’s not surprising that the few things able to bring him to his knees are difficult for him to come to grips with. Tav thinks surrender must be a strange concept for a man who has burdened himself with nothing but crippling responsibility for over a millennia. When is the last time Halsin let himself truly be vulnerable to something? Does he remember how to surrender?
Tav would argue that yes, he does, because that's the only word that describes what’s happening here.
Halsin’s sitting under the cover of a tree on a large stump. He’s clearly been in the throes of this fit for some time, true to Astarion and Karlach’s report. Evidenced by the redness of his nostrils, the tears slicked down his tattooed cheek and the limp handkerchief laid open in his massive palm. The man appears breathless, panting with indulgent, open-mouthed gasps as his nostrils swell. He doesn’t even bother to open his eyes as he lets another clockwork sneeze take him.
“huh’uRRSSCHHHH’HOO!”
if he’d been using the handkerchief before, he’s abandoned it now, optioning to simply sneeze down in its general direction rather than try to contain any part of the expulsion. And Tav can see why. There’s hardly any point. Halsin's sizable chest swells with one, languid breath and whatever fire’s been stoked within his sinuses catches again and he sneezes without reprieve.
“hh’RRRAAAASSH’UUE!”
He still hasn’t opened his eyes. Tav wonders how long he’s been stuck like this, in an endless cycle of chest-clearing sneezes with barely a breath between. The idea of it being more than a few minutes is deeply intriguing to him, but also a little worrying. How much can one man possibly sneeze? He’s never seen Halsin like this. In fact, he can count on one hand the number of times he’s seen the druid sneeze. Tav has, after all, been paying attention.
“hh’RrrRSSCHH! hh? Hh! Hh’hhRRUSSh'SHOO!”
Halsin teeters on the edge of a third, eyebrows bunched together, an allergic tear sliding down his cheek. He hangs on the precipice for an agonizing moment before roaring with the ferocity of a bear into the final one.
“Hh’hhRrAAASSCHHH’uHH!!!”
His shoulders tremble with the force and Tav’s vested interest in the display finally makes room for guilt. He steps forward, purposely landing hard enough on the foliage underfoot to snap a twig and announce his presence.
“Halsin?” He calls.
The druid tenses. He straightens up and his eyes flash over to the treeline, surprised and a little guilty. He attempts a smile as color rises to his cheeks.
“Ah, my heart! I did not hhhea—excuse mhee’hh’WHFFHSHH!” He turns away promptly and smothers the harsh sneeze into his handkerchief, cutting the volume in half.
The propriety he insists on in front of Tav makes Tav’s legs feel like jelly. Moments ago he was sneezing with reckless abandon into the open air without a care in the world, but now he insists on sparing his lover from the display for a reason Tav can't ordain. They've seen each other bloodied and spent a thousand different ways before. How is this any different?
Halsin twists away from him further, his massive shoulders swelling as he ducks into the handkerchief again. “H’hWHHFFSSShH!"
“Seven Hells, Halsin,” Tav murmurs. He lays a hand on the man’s back, “Bless you.”
"My thhha-"
Tampering back those massive sneezes seems to make them vindictive, and Halsin can’t even get a proper thanks out before he's flinching back into a reflexive fit of them, once more trapped in his sodden handkerchief.
“wFFHSCHH! H’tSSCHh!”
Halsin lifts his head and gasps desperately. Tav feels an odd sense of relief as the druid eschews a sense decorum for a cleansing, powerful third.
“hhrh’RRSHHH-SHOO!”
“My thanks,” he murmurs directly after, but tends to his nose quickly before turning back to Tav. He sniffles unproductively and Tav notices his nostrils sharpening as they flare in an effort to stave off what he’s sure is another impending sneeze.
Tav gently tucks a lock of auburn hair that’s come loose from a braid behind Halsin’s pointed ear.
“Bless you,” Tav frowns, “How long has this been going on?”
Halsin looks dangerously close to another sneeze, but blinks furiously until the need abates. His auburn lashes look darker with irritated tears. He sniffs as delicately as he can, which Tav can only assume is incredibly unsatisfying, and gives a weak smile.
“The better part of the morning, I fear.”
“You could have woken me,” Tav murmurs, stroking fingers through his long hair.
Halsin chuckles, “I thought I might have, given the racket I was m—ma—ah, oohn...onnce more, apologies—“ He turns away and clamps the handkerchief over his nose and mouth. “h’WHFFHSHH'uhh!"
His lungs fill and he dips lower towards his lap.
“hh'RrSCHH!”
“I believe that was twice,” Tav teases, despite feeling his trousers getting uncomfortably tight.
Halsin lifts his head just enough to try and find a dry edge of the handkerchief. It doesn’t happen in time. His hazel eyes go narrow, unfocused, and he sneezes across it and his knuckles.
“Huh’uSSHH’HOO!”
“Gods, Halsin.”
Halsin gives an experimental sniff. When he's certain it's not going to lead to another sneeze, he sags slightly and tilts his head back.
"Oak Father preserve me."
Tav's delirious at this point. He crouches down to get to Halsin's eye level, his hand lingering on the druid's knee.
“How long does this usually go on?” Tav asks, worries for both of them at this point.
Halsin sniffs hard and finally finds the dry edge of the handkerchief, using it rather anticlimactically to dab at his raw nostrils. He blows his nose once while shaking his head.
"Truthfully, I'm not certain. It hasn't been this bad in some time."
"Would changing shape help?"
Halsin chuckles, "Then, I would be sneezing as a bear."
"Is that more pleasant?"
"Perhaps for some," Halsin's eyes shimmer with sudden mischief beyond the allergic tears.
Tav blinks. He takes a moment to process, then gapes. He smacks Halsin's knee and the druid gives a chesty laugh.
"You bastard, how long have you known?" Tav asks.
"My heart, you are many things, but subtle is not one of them," Halsin knuckles at his reddened nose and gives a warm smile that makes Tav melt on the spot.
"Look, it's not like I meant to enjoy your suffering, I--"
Halsin holds up a hand, "When have I ever given you the impression that you need apologize for your desires?"
Tav blushes. Halsin continues sniffling and tugs him forward by the hip. As he stumbles closer, Tav reaches for his face. His thumb clears away the track of an allergic tear from Halsin’s scarred cheek.
"I do feel bad that you're miserable.”
“If it brings you pleasure,” Halsin says, his voice low, “Then I am not miserable.”
Tav lowers himself into Halsin’s lap. The druids hands dwarf his waist as he supports him, and also prevent him from worrying at his nose as he starts to lose himself to into the persistent tickle once more. Halsin goes to raise an arm but Tav captures it, lowering it back to his hip.
Halsin, to his credit, doesn’t even stop to question it. He lets the sneeze take him over fully, though habit still makes him turn his head as it barrels through him.
“h’HHRRUSSCHHH!”
Now that he’s seated astride him, Tav can feel the way his body clenches. Halsin has to be three hundred pounds of solid muscle, and each one of them turns to steel as he surrenders himself to the sensation. His chest quivers under Tav’s eager hands as he waits torturously for a second and his other hand reaches around the small of his back, holding the smaller man in place as he--
“uh'Hhh-!...huuh...eh'HUHH’ESSH’SHOO!”
Spray dapples in the sunlight from a break in the canopy of trees above. Tav's almost unseated from the man's lap with that one but certainly has no complaints. He's beaming as Halsin sniffles blearily once more and dips close to kiss at Tav's throat.
"Tell the Oak Father I said thanks," Tav murmurs in bliss.
That earns him a sharp pinch from Halsin, but thankfully no fewer kisses.
Everyone liked the clip so much I went ahead and made some gifs about it. Please only reblog to kink blogs ❤️ (so I remain unseen outside of this lovely community)
Couple in the midst of a bitter divorce being summoned to an appointment with their lawyers. A has moved out of state and is not happy to have to return, but they do, arriving just the night before. They have however forgotten that it's the height of allergy season there and their allergies are horrible. They're just pissed at having to see their ex in person, and their allergies really act up during the appointment and they're furious about it because damnit, this is the last situation they want to appear all messy and lacking control. 😈
your idea sounds cool if i didn’t live in a small town where everyone knows each other i would try the same thing! you could try it once
AHH THANK YOU!!!!!! and thank you to the others who have reached out privately abt this too i really really appreciate it)
i think I’m going to try it! like you said, at least once? i won’t know until I do it and if i hate it then i dont ever have to try again that’s free will baaabyyyy
also maybe i’ll ~blog any experiences i have like a fuckin Julie & Julia thing except snz fucker version so anyone following the saga can tune in lmaooooo
Would you be willing to write one more V/ox snz fic again?
MY SWEET ANON!!! i’m so honored you liked that one i did at all???? it was so random for me and i was such a bystander in the fandom i’m tickled someone actually enjoyed it
i’m slightly hesitant to write any more simply because I legit have not watched it in like ??? seven? eight months?? at this point?? and i kind of forget everyone’s voices and the VIBE yknow
but i could probably do like a lil scenario if you ever had a specific request or something? its easier for me to write to stuff like that when i dont have a scenario in mind already
JUST!!!! CAVEAT THAT!! if i write it it will probably not be as awesome as the amazing cool people who are currently making h/ax in stuff and have been consistently because I’m a SHAM and a fraud
thank you for being here ToT i'm returning deep back into VW fandom world after your latest fic and can't stop goin crazy!!!!! pretend i'm playfully shaking your shoulder and cheering like yaaaayyy!!!! hope this msg make sense :D
SHUT UPPPPP (affectionate) you are my favorite writer ever i can’t believe you i am taking ur hands and swinging you around fr THIS IS SO SWEET
would never have started writing them had i not been a VORACIOUS consumer of your work in the shadows for such a long time lmao i am so so honored to even be here ok and that i can bring some VW back into these trying times
they just always go down so smooth 😫 love them so bad
IT ABSOLUTELY MAKES SENSE AND IT ALSO MADE MY WHOLE DAY THANK YOU
you precious talented incredible fantastic person i hope you know how great you are WAH
weird personal sexuality stuff under cut because i just wanna type it out
the ‘tism has made it hard for me to connect with people and Trauma makes it hard to be intimate
I don’t ever have a problem GETTING dates or people interested in me but i am never interested or if i am, i have a legit phobia of things progressing to the physical aspect of the relationship so i ghost
big ol virgin at 31 which is even more terrifying because god now i feel OLD and so inexperienced like everyone else is already leagues ahead of me
also also kink is ??? a big thing for me and i think i probably can get off without it but it’s harder so idk maybe it’s more a fetish
ANYWAY i’m so sick of being afraid of it and being miserable and being like wow I’m worthless and gross and a robot and unfit for human interactions
And then had this jimmy neutron brain blast last night about: making a tinder that’s specifically stating i only am looking to explore ~sexy times
not looking for relationships or anything else
and just … find people to do it with as a scientific experiment lmao
AND since i will not likely see these people again or talk to them, telling them upfront about the kink and seeing if they are down? because like worst they can say is ew no you’re a freak but —I don’t really care about your opinion of me if you’re not a reoccurring character so ??? whatever?
ideal scenario here: I finally have sex / do stuff and find out it’s not scary, i actually have fun and incorporate kink stuff and have a really nice time, i end up not being fucking terrified of this entire realm of life and then can pursue a real relationship without this hang up someday when I’m ready
Worst case scenario: i get murdered, or i get severely traumatized further by trying to rush into sex
BUT??? the alternative (trying to wait until I’m comfy enough with someone) isn’t working for me so like … i am out of options yall this is the insane circumstances i find myself in
i thankfully live in a big city so anonymity is easy and i could def do this without like ever running into someone again but ???? IT FEELS STRANGE
But then again i also remember i have free will?? and I am a. Grown ass adult
YOUR VASHWOOD FIC WAS SO GOOD. I am literally so starved for Trigun content that I cheered when the fic appeared on my dash. If you were to hypothetically make a nsfw part 2 I would owe you my life. All up to you though!! Just needed you to know some little Trigun freak is now obsessed with your fic.
NOOO stop this is so sweet?!? I’m so glad honestly i had that in my drafts for SO long and i was like MAN I HOPE THESE DWEEBS ARE STILL COOL???? i should have known snzblr and their exquisite taste would never let me down
oooohh i was not planning to but tbh the idea of them parking the thomas around the other side of the rocks and it just standing there like 🧍♂️while woowoo and vash get absolutely FREAKY nearby is sending me into orbit so ???? ITS NOT OUT OF THE REALM OF POSSIBILITY
i’m so so so so genuinely honored you enjoyed it though thank you so much for reading and also sending this message it made me smile SOOOO BIG
