Slowly losing myself

When you have been a fighter your whole life like me, you save yourself, you learn that in the end you stand alone, so you must stand strong.

[awkwardbaberene-blog]

“They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you.”

— Philip Larkin

[secretpsychotic]

I wish my dad would’ve abandoned me when I was born instead of staying around just to fuck me up and ruin my brain. It seems like every time I realize a new problem I have, it always goes back to some horrible brain manipulation I suffered in the most impressionable first 18 years of my life. I have to unscramble my brain for life. Fuck.

[imperator-negasonic-blog]

People say “Get rid of the negativity in your life.” Well what if the negativity is coming from your dad? What do you do then?

[mimi-is-a-unicorn]

RIGHT

What a lot of people don’t seem to understand is that when you have a child, as well as being your child they are also a small human being. A small human being who has their own thoughts. Who has their own feelings. Who is three times as delicate as you.

So when you’re disciplining your child take into account that whatever you do will stay with them forever. Take into account that even when disciplining them you still need to think about their feelings. Take into account that THEY WILL CRY. No one likes being told off! Especially if you’re small and being screamed at.

Oh and if/when they do cry, DO NOT scream at them to stop crying. DO NOT tell them that they’re stupid. DO NOT tell them that there tears are worth nothing. Because that’s condoning the idea that their very feelings are worthless.

And Jesus Christ, please be careful because there is a difference between disciplining your child and being abusive. -If your child is crying so much that they can’t breathe; you need to stop. -If your child is genuinely scared of you; please stop. -If your child feels in any way that they are not safe around YOU! THEIR PARENT; please stop. -if your child is getting depressed by how you treat them; … you guessed it! stop!

Your child is a real person. With real feelings. They are not your play toy. They are not rubber balls they don’t just bounce back. Everything you do to your child will affect them in their future.

So my god, please don’t ruin them. They are the future.

- From someone with parents who meant well but caused me and my brother to be socially inept and afraid of opening up to people

[asdfghjkkzxcvbnm-deactivated202]

Dear Dad,

I’m tired of you always bailing on me. 

I’m tired of the lies you fed to me my entire life.

I’m tired of never seeing you.

I’m tired of pretending.

Now I’m almost grown up and it’s too late for you to start being my father.

Love, 

Your first “daughter”

[the-lost-book-thief]

Sometimes I just want my dad to turn up and give me a handshake and a hug. Other times I never want to see him again. And other times I want to walk up to him, punch him in the face and call him a ‘bloody wanker’ then walk away.

[falling-to-fly-away]

“Dear dad, Thanks for nothing..”

—

[iwontwrite]

“Being a father is not a part-time job that you can give up on when you’ve had enough.”

— m.t.//things i’ll never say out loud

[lettersandroses]

“I felt like a little girl lost in the woods most of my life. Every person trying to approach me, trying to be a part of my life, was trying to hurt me, to use me. Just like you did. Because if the person that shared my bloodline made me feel so unhappy all the time, why and how would someone else be any different?”

— What I’ll never tell my abusive father. 

[4am-reflections]

“Heres to the girls who’s hearts were broken by a man long before any boy got ahold of it. Heres to the girls who believe that they can’t be loved because the one man who was supposed to always love them didn’t. Heres to the girls who can’t stay in a relationship because all they were ever taught was how to leave one. Heres to the girls who are in an abusive relationship and don’t know it because it’s what they grew up seeing. Heres to the girls who can’t trust men because the man they were supposed to always be able to count on left. Heres to the girls who are scared to have kids because they never want their kids to face the same pain they had to endure. Heres to the girls who refuse to say they have a dad because all their father ever was is a man who helped create them.”

— You’re not my dad, you’re just the man who helped create me// 4am

[bintshamal-blog]

“It’s hard for me to trust men. It’s hard for me to trust that they won’t go, because if my own father couldn’t love me, how could a boy?”

— Thoughts Of A Fatherless Daughter

[teenagepics]

[suspend]

“I regret opening up to some people ; they didn’t deserve to know me like that”

— Gold-kushkloudz (via gold-kushkloudz)

[blurryclau]

[love-personal]

[aliive-but-not-liiviing]

I need to lose so much weight.

[aliive-but-not-liiviing]