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EXPECTATIONS
oozey mess
almost home
#extradirty
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@void-my-warranty
— 𝐕𝐨𝐢𝐝𝐌𝐲𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐲 𝐍𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐏𝐚𝐠𝐞 —
CONTENT IS 18+
dinnertime <- official posts (fics, chapters, drabbles) are under this tag
CALL OF DUTY
SABRETOOTH
STAR WARS
Status/timeline of WIPs
My works on AO3 (comprehensive)
My works on Quotev (best of)
Writing Resources
Book/movie/fic recs
aftercare for posting on ao3
your fic was good you did grammar good you’re the kind of freak people like everything’s cool dude :^)
ao3 asking if i want to see mature content. do i want to see birds in the sky. do i want to feel the wind in my hair and the grass under my feet
when the sex is a character analysis
imo dick pics are okayyy… i’m not really moved by them..
but bulge pics when ur doing something casual or at work but you still want me to see how heavy ur packing for me is so slutty of you and i’m immediately pregnant looking at you thank you
> looking at a new popular collectible
> ask the people if it's objects or gambling
> they don't understand
> pull out illustrated diagram explaining what is objects and what is gambling
> they laugh and say "it's a good collectible sir"
> look up how to buy a collectible
> its gambling
> #wait are labubu's blind bags?!
Labubus are blind bags but they're also blind bags with some of the most insane dark patterns stacked on top. The online store for them has a thing where they tell you what you got the second you order it online so that you can immediately try again if you didn't get the thing you wanted.
There's also a shake feature that is designed to encourage you to buy more than one by narrowing down the possibility space on a crate of options so that if you're hunting a specific model you can verify that it's guaranteed to be in one of these three IF you buy all three right now!!!!!
You can read more about what dark patterns are and how to spot them here.
The original website about deceptive patterns (also known as “dark patterns”) - tricks used in websites and apps that make you do things tha
That is a fucking awesome site everyone should visit. Don't skip the Hall of Shame.
I just thought of this post, which was actually how I learned what Dark Patterns are, because I tried to cancel my Adobe Acrobat subscription, and it took much longer than I anticipated because several times throughout the process it felt like it was intentionally trying to trick me into thinking I'd cancelled my subscription when I actually hadn't yet.
Please read up on Dark Patterns and learn how to recognize them.
just found out you can do more than one thing each day. i was just doing the one
how to become good at everything no practice no effort no motivation no passion no talent fast free
Sometimes I randomly remember how the most important people of my life from like 6-7 years ago are not in my life at all anymore and that's sort of terrifying and also crazy to realize how you actually can survive loss beyond your comprehension and find happiness stronger and more suited for you if you keep going
if anyone wants a fic suggestion for könig that’s so fucking sexy and sensual and intimate and Hot UGH go give this a read
https://archiveofourown.org/works/56208457?view_full_work=true
from @void-my-warranty on ao3, i got so dizzy (the good kind) from reading it
You’re so sweet thank you!!
Handjob tips for ADHD
How to do handjobs when you get bored of it
Why handjobs so dry
Uncircumcised men near me
How to get someone to do their own handjob
me walking to the bathroom at 3am in a massively oversized shirt, using gay fanfic on my phone to light the way
tws: reader has vaginismus, loads of spit, oral, fingering, squirting, smut 18+
simon has no clue what heaven is like. fuck, he doubts he’ll even get in when he dies, but this? this seems like the closest he’ll ever get.
here with you.
legs spread open, pussy glistening with a mixture of his spit, and your glossy eyes looking up at him. he watches as your chest rises with each breath, and his mouth waters at the sight of your nipples begging for more attention. eyes trail down to where your muscles clench and usually end things early.
“gonna let me in tonight?” he asks, a simple question.
do you want to try adding a finger tonight? or was his mouth enough?
he’s fine with ending things here. the cum on his belly and stained sheets are enough to prove it. still, he likes to leave the door open for when you’re feeling up to it.
“let’s try it,” you nod with a sneaky smile.
“yeah?” he gruffs, repositioning himself so his mouth hovers over your pussy.
you wait until his eyes find yours, and while maintaining eye contact you reach to spread your lips apart for him and nod. time stops for a second and resets when you giggle at his frozen figure, his eyes glued to your tight hole.
and that’s how you find yourself whining simon’s name, clenching repeatedly at every attempt simon’s finger takes to tease your hole. each clench is met with a soft kiss on your clit, feather-like and soft.
“relax for me.”
his gentle words make you huff, but still you listen. you let your muscles go, let your body sink into the soft mattress, and let your thighs go limp around simon’s head.
“thats it,” he drags out the praise, holding his breath when his pointer finger pushes. the stinging sensation threatens to ruin the moment, but you shut it out.
he pushes until your muscles stretch around him, wetting his digit with your slick. he’s careful to wait it out. he waits for your cry, waits for your muscles to go stiff, waits for the familiar sniffle of ‘maybe next time,’ but it never comes.
instead, his weak ears pick up the faintest moan.
testing the waters, he goes deep until he bottoms out, makes the tiniest moves, and watches for your reaction. immediately, his cock stirs awake when your jaw drops in pleasure. fingers that focused on spreading your lips apart find their new home on the bedsheets, gripping tight when simon curls his finger inside.
“agai-n! fuck, do that again,” you breathe out until your head spins, not bothering to refill your lungs.
simon knows it.
“breathe for me.”
your wet gasp results with another curl of his finger, this time, simon pairs it with his tongue against your clit.
straying from your usual routine, your muscles clench with need and desperation. like you want to keep him inside, not push him out.
“fuck!”
your lower tummy tingles with the urge to cum, but it’s different. feels more intense, especially with the pressure inside your pussy.
“yer doing so good for me,” simon moans against your clit, petting the nub with his drooling tongue.
pressure builds with each curl and it isn’t long before you’re gasping out his name and rolling your hips to meet his actions.
“push out for me,” simon groans, loving the way your walls hug him.
he can’t wait until a finger turns into two, and two turns into three. maybe one day, you’ll be clenching around his cock, milking him until he can’t fuckin think.
and you do exactly what he says, letting go as you allow your orgasm to take over. the wet sounds of your pussy fill your ears, before you hear a wet splash.
rather than letting you ride out your high with his finger inside, simon pulls out, and replaces his finger with his tongue. pushing the wet muscle inside, and slurping up whatever he can with his wet mouth. the foreign muscle has your head spinning.
“ooh, my god,” you cry, and push his head when it becomes too much.
twitching from overstimulation, your pussy clenches around nothing, but the stinging pain never comes. not tonight, and it’s nights like these that make you hopeful
this goes out to the real ones w/ tight pussies. yall keep it real tight and i love that
whenever you take too much time to write something know it is because stephen king has been stealing your life force
Where’s the YA protagonist teen girl and her two boyfriends that are supposed to save us from this mess anyways
The dystopia books lied. The teen throuples aren’t coming to save us.
Save me teen dystopia love triangle
Teen dystopia love triangle save me
"Of course, I'm in a ponytail. I always wanted to wear a ponytail because the hours were so long and anything that I could to cut down and they used to bribe me by buying clothing that I wanted to wear if I would not wear my hair in a ponytail."
"So that was usually the agreement. So, if you see, like a really cool outfit with my hair down, you know it was a barter for it."
Sarah Michelle Gellar || Allure
