PLEASE NOTE; this art is NOT mine. The artist is stroke_fish on tiktok all credit goes to them please credit them if you’re using these they have every right to contact me to take these down btw. 
Please only credit me for making the images transparent as it took a while to do.
AGAIN ALL ART HERE BELONGS TO STROKE_FISH ON TIKTOK!!!
There will probably be a part 2, with pngs of the actual in-game model taken from screenshots.
𓂃v | valentin viljoen ₍ so pretty but you're so deadly ⁾
⠀⠀⠀ ﹙warnings: minors do not interact. established relationship. gender neutral reader. talk of murder. would you guys believe my fake article link .﹚
you hardly remember it now ─ a time when you had built a persona off lies, when you believed you would not live to see the next day. it felt like a fever dream; to think that a secret could very well be what causes your death, your circumstance unbelievable then, and now.
but you're alive ─ and you found something special in that group chat full of serial killers, not only friendships you cherished, but him as well ─ v, your boyfriend, the shockingly gentle man who loved you so sweetly. the means of becoming official with him weren't ideal, nothing about your relationship and the build up of it was. but you don't regret anything, and you're sure that if given the ability to go back in time, you wouldn't change anything.
to outsiders of your relationship, those who didn't know, v could very well be considered the ideal partner. ─ he remembered everything: birthdays, anniversaries, schedules and all the small things too; the temperature you preferred the thermostat at, your favorite mug, even your changing, monthly favorite order at the restaurant around the corner. he was supportive about all your endeavors, he read the books you published, and sometimes even filled in as your proofreader, giving honest feedback and criticism that helped you. he'd wrap you in blankets and help you to bed when you stayed up too late, and buy you groceries when you forgot to go shopping for the month.
it was all so mundane, simple ─ the way your life remained even when he became part of it.
so could anyone blame you, when you forgot who he was? when you forgot that the hands that held you close at night were stained with blood; that the man who whispered praises as he lay with you in your bed had killed many who he deemed unworthy of the world.
─ it's not your fault the domesticity you felt with him made it easy.
he tells you about it sometimes ─ not the whole details, just about a new target he needed to focus on. he'd give short details on what they've done to gain the vigilante's attention. he'd explain why he was more quiet, what he was doing before you called, why he had to turn down coming over a few times.
but there are times where you are reminded of what he did, of who he was ─ sometimes harshly, sometimes sudden, sometimes both all at once, and sometimes it's neither. (but you like to believe you've long since gotten used to it.)
and then when it was over, when his target was on the news and he could finally give all his attention back to you before he targeted someone new, he'd show up at your door, sometimes with flowers, sometimes with the chocolate he knew you liked, an apology for giving you less attention than normal (although you'd argue that it really wasn't as bad as he thought it was; you were never upset with him).
this time was no different ─ only he showed up with a bruise on his face and a bleeding lip rather than flowers.
“you need to be more careful,” you scold lightly, closing the freezer after you've grabbed an ice pack. you approach where v is standing at the kitchen counter, leaning back against the marble. standing in front of him, you grab his face, careful of the dark bruise along his cheek, and tilt his face towards you. when you press the ice against his bruise, he flinches instinctively, almost curling away had it not been for the way you held his face.
v doesn't argue with you, only sighs and nods the best he can in his position, reaching up to grab your hand not holding the ice, lacing his fingers with yours and placing a kiss on your knuckles; “you're right, i apologize my love, i will be next time.”
you squint your eyes at him, but the sincerity in his expression makes you give in, and you huff, “good,” before taking the ice off the bruise for a moment to look at it.
you're interrupted when your phone buzzes, vibrating against the counter insistently, and you can already guess it's from a certain group chat of killers. keeping the ice pack pressed to v’s cheek, you grab your phone, tilting your screen towards you and clicking on one of the incoming messages to take you to the conversation.
goreboy
www.article.death of corrupt official: was it….
@.k9 you've been busy
hitmeuppp
was it really him????
awww he never tells us anything
Angelic
well he doesn't have to
felicite
he was very creative this time
LUCA_IS_SO_COOL
awh yeah dude!!! the vigilante strikes again!
goreboy
@[user] where's the man of the hour
v takes the ice pack from you as you hold up your phone so he can read the conversation as well, his phone back in his bag in your bedroom. when ronin tags your user, you pause, glancing up at v and the annoyed look he fails to hide. when you respond to the text, v makes a sound, somewhere between a grunt and a laugh.
[user]
how should i know
goreboy
oh?
well you are his partner, shouldn't you know?
trouble in paradise?
that gets another annoyed look from v, to which you sigh and shake your head.
[user]
stuff it ronin
he's with me and ignoring you
hitmeuppp
was it him tho??? i gotta know for sure
you look back up at v and ask, “want me to answer?”
v sighs, shaking his head while he sets the ice pack aside, and taking your phone from you. you let him, pursing your lips and watching him type.
[user]
yes. no more questions. bye. -v
hitmeupp
BOOO
vvvvvvv come baaack
v choose to ignore anymore questions misaki asks him, instead he suggested the two of you begin to get ready to turn in for bed, with it being so late, and you agreed, never passing the chance to have your boyfriend curled up next to you.
you ignore the onslaught of messages from the group chat, even when they change the topic from v's recent murder. instead, you click the link ronin had sent, while you sit back in your bed waiting for v. the article goes into more detail than what v would've told you, how the official used what power they had to get away with illegal and taboo acts and how he was killed.
v had gotten a little more creative this time, felicie was right. the article speaks of what little of the autopsy was revealed to the public, and how the coroner believes they were killed not by a weapon or object, but by the attackers bare hands. but you're not too surprised, v is no stranger to violence without help from a weapon. the official was missing their hands, and you can guess that v might've fed them to his animals back home.
you turn your attention away from the article when he finally joins you, plugging your phone into its charger on your nightstand while v gets comfortable under the sheets with you. you wrap your arms around v, and he does the same, letting you rest your head on his shoulder while the two if you lie back.
you sigh, feeling the beginning of sleep start to linger at the edge of your mind. but you don't give in just yet, turning your head to prop your chin on his chest, staring at his face. ─ his split lip doesn't look so bad now that it's been cleaned, but the bruise on his cheek stands out, as the edges turn purple and blue.
but you find, even with the obvious bruise on his face and the cut along his lip, he's still captivating to you, your favorite sight.
his arm around your waist tightens, holding you close, his eyes closed for a moment, before he opens them to look down at you, catching your stare. he blinks at you, curious, and a little concerned, "is something wrong?"
you hum, "what?"
"you're staring."
you tilt your head in your best ability to nod with the position you're in, "nothing's wrong."
"but you are thinking of something, what is it?" v asks, brows furrowed, and his hand not curled around you reaches up to brush a stray hair out of your eyes.
"i was just thinking'," you adjust yourself to rest a hand on chest, pressing your ear to his shoulder, "you're just really pretty, like a flower."
"oh," he clears his throat, and you find it both funny and endearing, how he still gets a bit flustered with your compliments, "thank you."
yes, so pretty ─ as pretty as the most dangerous of flowers. those that caught attention, but proved harmful. (but you think you might have an immunity to this deadly flower, for when you touched it, you were never poisoned.)
(I’m not ignoring people’s asks, I see them, and my goodness, some of y'all cooking in my inbox. I now have a list of fics I need to write)
✧ Pierro – his Khaenri’ahn mask
It was the early hours before dawn, and the first rays of sunlight had yet to breach Snezhnaya’s somber skies. You were awake, silent, and devoid of sleep, even when the bedchambers were cloaked in darkness. Since boredom stirred you away from bed, you cleaned up and refreshed yourself. Seated by the coiffeuse, you were still in your sleepwear, brushing your hair.
Your gaze adjusted in the twilight, observing the little accessories on the polished surface: your earrings, Pierro’s cuffslink… and his khaenri’ahn half mask. Elegantly placed as always on its stand, a piece your beloved rarely parts from. In the dimness of such hours, the intricate golden lines almost fused with the black enamel.
With curiosity beckoning to reach forward, you carefully picked up his mask. You inspected its edges, your fingers tenderly touching it as if your beloved face was in your palms as usual. The mask looked bigger in person, an illusion of the sharp edges that stood ominously upright. As you were about to gently place the mask upon your face, a familiar voice cleaved the silence, causing you to jolt.
“Sleepless at this godless hour, my divine one?”
The Jester’s familiar form, barren of his mask yet still hidden in the shadow of the bedroom, walked towards you. You haven’t heard a sound of his stirring, embarrassed to be caught with an item so personal to his being. Yet the Director shook his head, never urging you to apologize. He watched your reflection in the vanity mirror, bringing his mask gently over your half of the face, while his chest pressed onto your back.
“Do not feel ashamed for your curiosity. It’s been centuries since my visage went unmasked. But for you? I'd let you take it off me anytime, should you ever wish. Though perhaps not while we're in public. Some mysteries should stay intact…” – He watched your reflection for a long while, before setting the mask back into your care, his lips landing on your shoulders reverently before drawing away.
“Come back to bed, my dear. It’s much too early, and your warmth is lacking.”
✧ Il Capitano – his Fatui coat
In the howling winds between Mondstandt and Dragonspine, Il Capitano’s hand remained your only anchor of safety as the two of you traveled. Who knew even Mondstandt had its colder days, especially in late November months. You, in the meantime, had discovered the truth far too late, underdressed for the less-than-welcoming chill.
“I would say I have told you so, but I know you would lie and insist on being fine either way. My cherished, you’re shivering.”
Indeed, your teeth were chattering, but you wanted to shake your head, steadfast to keep moving and never complain. But with The Captain, seasoned by the many harsh expeditions and knowing his beloved better than anyone, he saw through your pretense. He swiftly took off his massive coat and draped it over your shoulders, the black feathery fur swallowing your entire face, tickling your skin. The clothing was clearly oversized on you, but warmth quickly seeped into your limbs.
His familiar scent enveloped you. Through the veil of fur, you glanced up at him, concerned for his exposure to the cold.
“No, keep it. I won’t stand seeing you shivering while we walk. Though forgive me, my love. My coat may be… slightly large on you. Can you walk?” – He asked while fixing the buttons on you.
A fair question, you thought. Bundled as if you are wrapped in duvet covers, you attempted tentatively by taking one step, two steps… And you plummeted face-first onto the grass. At least the Fatui coat was so dense that it cushioned your fall.
The Harbinger stifled a rare laugh behind his helmet, an invincible smile gracing his lips. With a renowned determination, he gathered you up in his arms and carried you. You fit against him as if his arms were built to hold you, though you resembled a child in an oversized blanket, warm and cozy, but swaddled to immobility. Your head found its place on his shoulders instinctively, while his hands cradled you closer. Maybe it wasn't the coat that provided you with that familiar warmth.
“Hmph, don't chuckle at me now. Your steps were doomed from the start in that fortress of my clothing, even if you look dangerously endearing. Besides, we're almost there. I shall take the honor of carrying you.”
✧ Il Dottore – his vial earring
You stood before the wall lined with masks: iconically sleek, intricate, and ominously beautiful, all crafted for the upcoming Segments. Each one bore the unmistakable touch of its creator, the perfect symmetry, the sharp tip, and the cold color in lieu of Dottore himself. Behind you, the Harbinger busied himself, ensuring the final touches as he padded away at a screen of information: cognitive functions, visual preceptors, all energy systems were online. You, in the meantime, inspected the small details that made every segment related to Dottore – the mask and the vial earrings.
“A little easy on touching the masks, dear,” – came his voice, absorbed as always, yet unerringly aware. He didn't turn towards you when you touched the familiar yet new mask for an Omega Segment. “This is a new prototype device, and the masks are not for mere decorations.”
You nodded in quiet understanding, but your eyes darted to something else. The earring with a cyan blue vial was neatly placed in a box. The design of the earring never changed between any iteration of segments, regardless of their look or age. And you couldn't deny that your Dottore looked good with the single ear accessory.
The Doctor, ever the inspecting, noticed your gaze of awe. He set his devices aside and stepped behind you: “Hm? Did this little trinket catch your eye? Come here,”
With a punctilious touch to your jawline, The Harbinger turned your face towards him. He reached for one of those ear accessories, clipping the vial earring on your right earlobe. In the meantime, you observed how his one reflected a faint cyan against his skin – “Surely this simple jewelry didn't catch your fancy so much? If you wanted matching earrings, I would've always designed something far more intricate.”
The vial was lighter than anticipated, a cool weight that swayed by your ear. Naturally, you couldn't help but ask what the shimmering liquid inside the vial was.
“Cyanide,” – His answer reverberated without hesitation just as his grin. “Think about it, if you and I have matching earrings, and all the world goes against us, then in the worst case, we can use it together as our final–”
You quickly shook your head in horror, ready to hand the earring back, only to conjure a scoff from Dottore as he sighed with disappointment. And here he thought you looked adorable wearing a piece of him.
“I'm jesting, dear. It's a beacon to locate and communicate with other segments. I won't give you something so macabre. At the very least, I would design something far more befitting your lovely face.”
✧ Scaramouche – his hat, of course
Have you ever struggled with unexpected May showers? Perhaps, you left home in an ideal outfit only for the sky and rain to betray you? Or maybe you just detest the blowing wind breaking the flimsy handles of your umbrella.
Fear not! With an ancient Shogunate ingenuity developed many centuries ago, you may now stand next to your beloved Balladeer and voilà! His wide-brimmed Ichimegasa hat is suitable to shield you both. All you need to do is crouch down a bit and get under the translucent veil of his hat. Safe and dry, the best of umbrellas!
You may notice this sentient umbrella often grumbles and complains when you do that. No need to worry! This high-tech umbrella not only provides coverage, but also warmth if you simply hug it. It easily heats up against your embrace, despite the glares. The attitude comes as a decorative feature within your beloved. The Harbinger may shield his gaze, but he'll ensure his arm finds your torso and pulls you closer against his chest. Comfort and coziness, even against the harshest of weather.
But wait, there's more! Have you ever desired to start jogging in the fresh air while still staying dry from the drizzle or wind? You came to the right place. For starters, locate your beloved boyfriend, the 6th of the Fatui Harbingers. Simply yoink the magnificent Ichimegasa hat and claim it as your crown on your head. You now possess a portable, hands-free weather shield. But be aware, an aggressive Harbinger may run after you. This will provide ample motivation for you to start your cardio program and run for your life. Side effects may include: a bolt of electricity coming to zap your behind if you slack off. This way, you can now work out ambitiously while staying perfectly dry!
Get your Inazuman Harbinger with a Big Hat™ today!
Warning: results may vary depending on the user. Including but not limited to: violence, dramatic yelps, pouting, and being tackled to the floor by a Harbinger, no more treats from your boyfriend, accidental romantic tension. Proceed with caution.
✧ Tartaglia – his red button-up shirt
Ajax, at his core, was but a man with uncomplicated desires. What sight could rival the hushed rapture of waking up only to find your sweetheart adorned in nothing but your button-up shirt? Tartaglia would recline on his side while you slept beside him in bed, his gaze appreciating the gorgeous silhouette of your figure. His shirt is slightly oversized, yet the color is warm against your skin. You look alluring with his clothing on, regardless of whether you did this on purpose or merely to cloak yourself after a night of passionate abandon.
There was just one blaring issue, however. You haven’t returned any of his shirts for over a month.
Every time he makes sure his shirts are cleaned and folded, they’d vanish like mist in the morning, spirited away into your shelves. He required these shirts to prepare for work, yet the thought of denying you felt akin to harsh cruelty. A single glance at you and his resolve is turned into mush when you wear them, his heart forever pliant within the cusp of your hands.
Being practical, Childe decided to simply purchase newer ones for himself. Alas, that didn’t last long; you stole these as well.
“Darling, my sweetheart, love of my entire life. I beg you, can I please, please, please have my shirts back?” – He implored you one day, hands clasped together apologetically. You pretended to ponder the answer for a while, when an obvious no was still the verdict. “Darling, I need to take them and iron them before heading out. I even bought new ones, but even that wasn’t enough for you. I thought you were borrowing, not hoarding it like a greedy hilichurl.”
You sighed. After much divine consultation, you decided to mercifully give him one back (out of the seven you annexed as your own). You couldn’t help it; Tartaglia possessed an exquisite taste in simple garments. They were comfortable to the touch, and having his familiar warmth felt even cozier against your skin. You simply couldn’t decide whether you liked his smitten reaction more or his pleading for your mercy when you refused to give them back.
Either way, one early morning, Childe would find a clean and ironed shirt left for him neatly on a hanger by the dresser, his prayers answered. As such, whenever the Harbinger ventured out shopping to replenish his everyday wear, he’d buy the same item in pairs. One for himself, and one as an emergency for you. Not that he’d ever complain, seeing his and your clothes sharing the same closet in such a familiar yet domestic scene filled his heart with prideful giddiness disguised simply as love.
“You know, sweetheart, if you keep taking claim over my shirts, why can’t I borrow yours for a change, huh? What do you mean they won’t fit me? Bring it on, I want to try one of your sweaters anyway!”
As the leader of the Harbingers, Pierro takes his role seriously, and when he realizes how naive you are, his protective instincts kick in. He often shields you from the darker side of Fatui affairs, keeping you in the dark about the more ruthless aspects of their operations. He wants to preserve your innocence as much as possible, which is a rare sentiment from someone as cold and calculated as Pierro.
While Pierro is usually stern and emotionless, your purity softens him. He finds solace in your presence and enjoys your simple outlook on life. It reminds him of a time before he became the harbinger of destruction and chaos.
Pierro knows that you're easy to mislead, so he's always careful with his words. He makes sure to explain things in a way that won’t overwhelm you, but also so you don’t ask too many dangerous questions. You remain blissfully unaware of just how much blood is on his hands, and Pierro likes it that way.
Pierro would never admit it, but he goes out of his way to ensure you’re kept far from harm, even if you’re unaware of it. He’s constantly working behind the scenes to remove threats before they even come close to you. His protectiveness is subtle, often disguised as him merely sending you off on errands or encouraging you to remain in safer areas.
Your innocence reminds Pierro of a time long ago when he might have been less cynical, less ruthless. Though he’s a deeply strategic man, your presence softens his edges, even if only in private moments. Your belief in the good of the world makes him occasionally question if he could have chosen a different path.
Capitano
Capitano, a figure known for his strength and valor, finds your innocence strangely calming. His life is filled with battle and bloodshed, so your pure and untainted perspective offers him a rare moment of tranquility. When he’s with you, he can leave behind his role as a warrior and simply enjoy a more peaceful existence.
Capitano doesn’t need to say much to keep you safe. His mere presence is enough to intimidate anyone who might seek to harm or take advantage of you. He’s always watching over you, even when you think you’re alone. You might not understand why people give you a wide berth when Capitano is around, but that’s exactly how he prefers it.
Despite his intimidating appearance and harsh exterior, Capitano is surprisingly gentle with you. He’ll place a hand on your shoulder or give you a small nod of approval, small gestures that show he cares without overwhelming you. He knows you’re fragile in comparison to the life he leads, so he treats you like something precious and irreplaceable.
Capitano sees you as something pure that he must protect at all costs. Though he’s known for his unwavering dedication to his duties, your presence gives him a deeper sense of purpose. He fights not just for the Fatui but to create a world where someone like you can remain safe and untouched by cruelty.
Anyone who dares try to manipulate or harm you faces Capitano’s full wrath. He is known for his brutal efficiency in battle, but when it comes to you, that intensity amplifies tenfold. He won’t let anyone or anything threaten your safety or corrupt your innocence. You’re like a rare treasure in his life, one he will guard until his last breath.
Dottore
Dottore is utterly fascinated by your innocence, finding it almost incomprehensible. He often prods you with curious questions, eager to see how your mind works compared to his twisted genius. To him, you’re an anomaly—someone who hasn’t yet been tainted by the world.
Though Dottore cares for you in his own twisted way, he can’t help but toy with your naivety. He might tell you wild, untrue stories just to see your reactions, reveling in how easily you believe him. Despite this, he’s careful not to push you too far; he enjoys having you around too much to truly break your spirit.
While Dottore is amused by your innocence, he’s also fiercely possessive. He doesn’t want anyone else corrupting you, so he’ll make sure you’re always by his side or at least under his watchful eye. If another Harbinger tries to take advantage of your naivety, Dottore’s wrath is swift and brutal.
Dottore, being a man of science and curiosity, is constantly intrigued by your innocence. He wonders how someone like you could exist in such a ruthless world, and sometimes he treats your naivety like an experiment—observing how you react to various stimuli and situations. Though his fascination might be clinical, there’s an underlying protectiveness as well.
Despite his twisted nature, Dottore secretly cares about you. He might create devices or gadgets designed to keep you safe or unaware of the more gruesome aspects of his work. You might think his inventions are just fun toys or tools to make your life easier, but in reality, they’re carefully crafted to protect you from the darker side of his experiments.
Scaramouche
Scaramouche is initially confused by your innocence. Part of him finds it frustrating—he’s used to manipulation and cruelty, so your pure-hearted nature baffles him. However, over time, he begins to appreciate it. You represent something he can never have: a sense of untainted goodness.
Scaramouche, who is typically sharp-tongued and cynical, finds your naivety both amusing and endearing. He’s quick to mock you playfully, throwing sarcastic remarks your way when you fail to notice something obvious or overlook the harshness of reality. Yet, despite his teasing, he never crosses a line. There’s a strange softness in the way he treats you compared to others, even if he tries to hide it.
Despite his cruel nature, Scaramouche becomes fiercely protective of your innocence. He views it as something precious—something no one has the right to taint. While he may mock your naivety, he won’t let anyone else take advantage of it. If someone attempts to manipulate or hurt you, Scaramouche’s wrath is quick and brutal, leaving no doubt that you are under his protection.
Your innocence frustrates Scaramouche at times because it represents everything he’s lost—trust, hope, and belief in others. Yet, that same purity draws him in, creating a tension within himself. He doesn’t want you to lose your naive worldview, but at the same time, he’s terrified that one day, the cruel world will break you as it did him.
Scaramouche isn’t someone who shows open affection, especially not in front of others. However, when you’re alone, he’ll allow himself small gestures—a hand placed gently on your head or a brief moment where he’ll sit close to you in silence. It’s his way of saying that he cares, even if he’ll never say it outright.
Pantalone
Pantalone adores your naive nature, finding it endearing in a world where everyone else is driven by greed and ambition. He uses his vast wealth to spoil you, gifting you extravagant things just to see the look of pure joy on your face. He never lets you worry about the cost or where the money comes from—it’s all part of his plan to keep you blissfully unaware.
While Pantalone manipulates nearly everyone around him, he goes out of his way to shield you from the corruption that runs deep in the Fatui. He sees you as something too delicate for the brutal world he operates in and prefers to keep you in a bubble of luxury and comfort, far from the cutthroat politics of the Harbingers.
Pantalone ensures that no harm comes to you by leveraging his financial influence. If anyone dares to target you or tries to take advantage of your innocence, they quickly find themselves on the wrong side of his wealth and power. He’ll ruin them financially and ensure that their downfall is swift and complete.
Pantalone is a master manipulator, but when it comes to you, he keeps his darker dealings carefully hidden. He never wants you to see the ruthless side of his business, believing you’re better off living in blissful ignorance. He’ll go to great lengths to ensure you remain unaware of the moral gray areas he operates in.
Pantalone takes great joy in watching you light up when he surprises you with something extravagant, whether it’s a beautiful piece of jewelry or a rare collectible. He views your happiness as a reflection of his success, and he goes out of his way to provide for you in every possible way. Your innocent joy is one of the few things that can genuinely warm his cold heart.
Childe
Childe finds your naivety absolutely adorable. He loves to tease you, often making exaggerated claims or telling you about his exploits in a way that makes you blush or gasp in surprise. However, underneath all that playfulness, Childe is fiercely protective of you. He won’t let anyone else toy with your innocence.
Childe thrives on showing off in front of you, especially when he knows you’re easily impressed. Whether it’s through his combat prowess or his adventurous stories, he loves the way your eyes widen in awe. Your naive admiration boosts his ego, and he’s more than happy to be your hero.
Despite his love for battle, Childe would never want to expose you to the darker aspects of his life. He’ll always keep you far from the frontlines, ensuring you only see the more exciting, less dangerous parts of his adventures. In his eyes, you’re someone worth protecting at all costs, and he won’t let anything or anyone change that.
Childe finds it endlessly amusing when you ask innocent, naive questions about his work or the Fatui’s operations. He’ll often give you simplified answers, sometimes throwing in a bit of embellishment to make himself seem even more impressive. Your wide-eyed belief in his stories makes him feel like the most important person in the world.
While Childe’s real work is far too dangerous for you, he often takes you on smaller, safer "adventures." These outings are carefully curated so you never see the true violence of his life, but they’re thrilling enough to keep you entertained. Whether it’s exploring a quiet forest or pretending to train with him, Childe enjoys showing off his skills in a way that keeps you feeling safe and awed by him.
Capitano doesn't get drunk... until he eventually does.
drunk!capitano x wife!reader
Capitano is the type of drunk who mopes around when the person he cares for most isn't anywhere in sight.
You could literally see the rain clouds forming over his head as his shoulders sort of slouch.
To anyone else, he his scary, brooding, someone that one shouldn't go up to.
But you knew your husband well, so when you spotted him easily through the throngs of people, you had to keep yourself from laughing. He, to you, honestly looked like a kicked puppy.
Grinning to yourself, you walked over to him, your arms circling around his left bicep as you clung to him.
"And how's my husband doing this fine night?"
Your voice was playful as you leaned into him.
And, like a switch that was flipped, you watched as Capitano's mood did a full 180. He stood up straighter and lifted his free hand to encircle your hands that were holding onto his bicep. The fictional clouds that were over his disappeared, and he seemed like himself (to you) once more.
"Drunk."
His answer was simple as he held onto you fiercely.
"I can tell," you giggled as you leaned your head against his shoulder.
Capitano rarely ever got drunk, but when he did he was the mopey, clingy type who you would have to look real closely to know if he was actually drunk or not.
hi. yes. i want to write for genshin again, honkai, and probably zzz. I have been writing for lads a lot if you've noticed, because it's the only thing giving me motivation. and i don't want to give up on writing yet, so bear with me and take this even if it's very short. also there is spoilers about him if you're not caught up. contains sfw and nsfw
— He made it a habit to hold you in his arms every night, holding you tight against his chest or spooning you from behind. In times when he comes back feeling icky (you notice when he paces around and can't seem to stand still), you'll hold him for the rest of the night, that usually takes off whatever has been on his mind.
— you both spend quality time reading in the library, you would be perched on his lap sideways while reading your book, and he rubs your wrists in circles while reading another book of his choice.
— Is bad at flirting. Whenever he calls you beautiful while you fix yourself in front of a mirror, it's not his way of flirting, he just speaks his mind in the moment. (he's utterly in love)
— lets you braid his hair, only if you ask twice. (he would never let you beg too hard) also, it makes his hair wavy when you untangle it <3
— teaches you horse riding and self defense, a must when he isn't around for days.
— animal lover in secret. Idc what anyone says, he feeds the birds when he has time, and always feeds your cat every morning before he leaves.
— kisses any scars or stretch marks and teaches you how to love them, just like how you taught him how to love himself.
— picks out the most beautiful flowers everytime he returns home after days, and replaces the ones he got you last time.
— still feels insecure about his rotting flesh no matter how much you reassure him, he would make extra effort to keep clean.
— waters your plants whenever you forget to, since they're your 'babies' as you call them.
— kisses your ankles every time you ramble to him about your day, since you would be laying on the couch, and he'd be next to you, your legs on his lap.
nfsw part:
— loves to roll your nipples using both thumbs while kissing you slowly, intimately. It's his way of teasing, and overstimulating you while you grind yourself on his knee.
— rarely masturbates whenever he's away, he'd rather keep his load all inside you where it's meant to be <3
— free the bush :') this man's face will be pressed to your pussy anytime, shaved or not.
— more of a "makes love" rather than "fucking you" type of man. Unless... You ask how you'd like it, he's all about pleasing you.
— will cum on the spot if you call him by his name, "thrain" over and over.
— refuses the first time you offer to suck him off, but when you kept insisting... And when you finally got down on your knees while batting those eyelashes up at him as you struggle to take all of him... Boy does it make him try his best not to let those noises escape his lips.
author's note; bringing forth my soft capitano agenda with a short drabble
content notes; gn!reader, established relationship (married), you adopt ororon for a bit, mention of having children (as in raising them together), slight hurt/comfort, slight spoilers about capitano's origins
When you hear your husband's been injured in an altercation with the Pyro Archon, you were rushing out of the Fatui camp immediately. Multiple Fatui soldiers chase after you, telling you to return to camp.
"Lord Capitano will have our head if their partner gets injured! Move!" You hear one of the soldiers call out to their comrades. You ignore them. The only thing on your mind is to make sure your husband is alright. You know he's strong, stronger than you know, but it doesn't ease your stress.
In your focused state, you don't notice the man you're worried about approaching. You bump into his chest, almost tumbling over if not for him catching you by the shoulders.
"What are you doing outside of the camp, beloved?" He asks, looking down at you. You don't answer, your hands quickly moving about in search of his wounds.
"I heard what happened. Are you okay? Does it hurt? Where did you get hit?" You sputter out your questions, not bothering to let him answer.
"Excuse me..." A voice interrupts, causing you to turn your head. You make eye contact with a dark-haired male. He definitely wasn't a Fatui soldier, but his clothing reminded you of the locals.
"Who is this?" You ask, turning back to Capitano.
"A child from the Masters of the Night Wind. He assisted with my escape," Capitano answers. He readjusts his hand, leading you back to the camp with his hand on your back.
The male walks beside the two of you, interjecting whenever needed to explain himself.
Ororon is his name. You learn much about him as he spends time at the Fatui encampment. Whenever your husband is out, you find yourself making small talk with Ororon.
You learn about his garden. You smile when he promises to bring you some of his vegetables. He tells you about his family back home. He tells you that his granny will be especially furious with him when he returns home. You wonder what kind of woman his granny is.
As the days go by, you realize Ororon is a very sweet, young boy. You find yourself worrying about him more. When he goes out to search for herbs, you secretly tell the soldiers accompanying him to keep a very close watch of him. You always offer him an extra serving of food despite your husband's insistence that he's eaten enough.
"You're overfeeding him, beloved."
"It's better than underfeeding!"
When Ororon returns home for the first time, your husband notices your faltered state.
"You spoiled that child as if he was your own. I fear you have become too attached, beloved," Captiano remarks as he takes a seat next to you.
"Ah, I suppose so..." You admit. You chuckle soflty, resting your head on his shoulder. "We don't have any of our own, so I suppose I was just projecting."
"Children..."
"It's a silly dream of mine. Don't worry."
Capitano shakes his head. "It isn't silly at all. I suppose... I never believed you'd want children, especially with a man such as I."
That shocks you. You lift your head, facing him. "Why wouldn't I? There isn't anyone else I'd rather have children with."
You understand his hesitating. The curse he bears makes the future he once dreamed of almost impossible. You don't want him to believe that. He deserves a future as much as any other person.
"You'd be a wonderful father," You reassure, placing your head on his shoulder once again.
Having snowball fights with Capitano but it's just you throwing them at him.
It started with you accidentally throwing one at him. And after you did, you froze. The man towers over you and when he looked down from his coat where the snowball hit to the source, your heartbeat rose.
But he simply walked away.
You were his arranged bride and despite being complete strangers, he never forbade you from anything. He let you have your way and free will.
After that harmless encounter, you seemed to realize he wasn't completely harmless. It was hard to tell when a mask concealed his emotions.
So now whenever he passes through his snow covered garden, a ball of snow hits him out of nowhere. And when he looks back, he sees your snow covered hair and that cheeky smile, waiting for him to throw back a snowball.
But once again he walks away without any making any remarks.
All through winter this continued whenever he passed through the garden.
He would entertain your thoughts only to leave you disappointed by disappearing without a word.
Winter was almost coming to an end and the snow would disappear in a few days, you gave up your hope.
Thud.
Something cold and hard hits your back. You turn around to see the Captain standing. There was snow on your cloak.
Did he just throw a snowball at you?
You smile so big and giggle while throwing another one back at him.
All this time unbeknownst to you of course, he returned your antics with a smile hidden underneath the mask.
And seeing your big smile today, then and there, maybe it wasn't wrong for the Captain to be wanting to see you happy everyday.
Tw: this is a short crack fic. Please don’t end me.
A timeless puzzle, a true test of one’s utter commitment and fidelity. Except, of course, the saying was a mere trend that spread amongst couples. And the Fatui are no different for the everyday frivolities; the silly query reached the discussion of everyday folk carrying on their duty in the Zapolyarny Palace. The question is, would you be the one posing said question first, or a certain Harbinger?
✧ Pierro knew it was a matter of time before you’d ask him this question. Idle gossip travels swiftly, like frost on glass windows on a snowy morning; some fatui servants were chit-chatting, and the trend simply spread around. The marble walls of the Palace were not spared, so of course, you succumbed to curiosity.
And here you are, one day, knocking on his office door with that adorably inquisitive mile that the Jester oh so loved, asking: “Say, Pierro, do you have a minute? I was thinking about something and was wondering if–”
“Let me guess,” – he exhaled in his usual weary cadence and set the quill and paper down without so much as lifting his gaze. “You have been listening to some folk in the hallway chatting and heard the inquiry, “Would you still love me if I was a worm?”, correct?”
You blinked at him, your silly smile undeterred.
“So you came here, running to my office to curiously draw my reaction.”
Again, you just stared at him.
“The answer is disarmingly simple, my divine. I would revere the very ground bearing your steps, regardless of your form, puny or eternal. So yes, quell your weary heart, you know I love you more than there is sand in Sumeru’s desert.” – The Jester smiled faintly, returning to his duty, scribbling on some documents.
You, on the other hand, were hardly surprised by his words; he always knew precisely what you would like to hear. So with haste and enthusiasm, you got what you came for and bid your farewell: “Perfect! Okay, thank you, honey, love you too!”
Pierro chuckled as you scurried off, returning to the papers before him. What a ludicrous answer. The Fatui Director would sooner see the whole of humanity debased into worms than ever liken you to one. You would never have to crawl or find collapse in the gutter. He would ensure you stood above all, and should you desire to stomp on everyone else below you, then he would provide you so. Only so he and you can be the only ones left, looking down upon all.
But such morbid thoughts are better left unsaid. It was a ridiculous hypothesis from the beginning. The simple answer will always be that he just loves you, plain and simple.
✧ Il Capitano stiffened, his body locked on the spot. He was unsure if he even registered the question properly, prompting you softly to repeat yourself. You asked again, as if it were the most mellow discussion in Teyvat:
“Would you still love me if I was a worm?”
The Captain was still clueless. Could this be a trial? A riddle meant to probe beyond his physical and psychological capabilities. 500 years of wielding his sword, and nothing could prepare him for this.
“A… worm? As in the animal, not metaphorically?”
You nodded. Confusion waged war in your poor Captain’s mind.
“... Why would you– Who would turn you into such a thing, my cherished?”
You sighed. Capitano was the ever-earnest knight, too straightforward in his thinking. His tone, full of worry and tender concern, almost made you feel guilty for causing such a reaction.
“Ah, never mind, Capi. It was just a silly question, and I wanted to see how you’d respond.”
And thus, the two of you carried on with the usual tranquil rhythm of life – or so you assumed. In truth, The Harbinger stayed every waking moment haunted by the meaning of your words. Did he fail your secret test, he brooded while eating. Was a worm a code for something, he thought to himself mid-swing while training. Even when huddling you close to his chest as you napped, he did not recall any Khaenri’ahn alchemical tomes speaking of transmutation into earthly worms.
One night, as you were sleeping, no earlier than midnight, you felt a familiar hand gently coax you to wake up. With a soft grumble, you turned and heard your beloved knight whisper in the darkness of the room:
“My cherished, if someone has threatened to turn you into a worm, you must tell me at once. I would never allow such a thing, you are my only one.”
“...Huh? Wh- Capi, that was several days ago, you’re still thinking about this at two in the morning?”
✧ To everyone’s dismay, Il Dottore scowled. He was once again lost in one of his rants, an eccentric litany of loathing and obsession, uttering monologues of zealot ideas. For you, alas, this was an average Thursday afternoon, so you preoccupied yourself with a book while he paced back and forth.
“A worm,” – he declaimed. “Yes, worms, that’s what my next experiment in heresy will presume. I shall turn every living being into a measly worm, crawling aimlessly in the soil. And then, ooh, and then, I shall feed them into the hungry jaws of piranhas! Tossing buckets of worms and rendering every fool in this world as mere fodder. Do you understand what that means, my dear? Do you fathom how ideal that plan would be?!”
“Mhm, sure thing, dear. Riveting.”
“Because then… Oh, then, when only you and I are left to roam the land, when all meaning and constructs have perished, we will be the only beings left. Better still, no! You and I shall turn to worms. I will create the perfect terrarium for us, with shrubs and moss. An immaculate, little haven to us both when we will lose all our senses and return to the soil. Crawling, intertwining… in our own little world. Just you and I, at last.”
Dottore’s words caught your attention at last, and your eyebrows furrowed. You regarded him for a long while before finally asking:
“Wait, do worms eat coffee grounds?”
Dottore nodded quietly.
“Great, then maybe you can add some spent coffee grounds after brewing some.” – You turned a page in your book. “I heard it is pH-neutral and suitable for worm food. I wouldn’t like to miss some coffee if we’re both living as worms.”
The Doctor’s manic smile resumed; only you followed his train of outlandish ramblings. He took your suggestions and kept laughing in his iconic timber to himself while constructing the terrarium. With surgical precision, he used tweezers to adjust tufts of moss and little shrubs for the miniature ecosystem.
By the end of the week, the little terrarium stood on top of bookshelves with a suitable desk lamp, harboring two worm pets Dottore got – eudrilus eugeniae. Specimen A was named after you, and Specimen B was named Zandik. How romantic.
✧ With Scaramouche, things were refreshingly simple, if not brutally so. You one day approached him and asked:
“Hey, Scara, would you still love me if–”
“No.”
See? Very easy and straightforward. You, obviously, blanked out before huffing in exasperation – “Oh, come on. You didn’t even let me finish. You wouldn’t love me if I was a worm? Not even a little?”
“Why would I love a worm? Of course not, don’t be ridiculous.”
So you sulked; not even puppy eyes breached his disinterest when he crossed his arms and gave you his unimpressed look. Whining back and forth with the Balladeer did not work either, and thus, you resigned into fading silence. Your previous jesting had gone quiet, and Scaramouche clearly saw a hint of hurt in your gaze.
“You know, if you think about it, you’re already a worm.” – His hands rose to cup your face playfully with a smirk, fingers pinching both of your cheeks with cool but tender digits. “Slimy, wriggling, and hiding.”
“Hey-!”
“But a rather cute one. So I guess I already love you even as a worm,” – he added, voice softening as his thumb brushed your face. “Now shush and stop asking such silly questions. I love you for the way you are, not for what you could turn into, worm or not.”
✧ Today was not a kind one for your beloved Pantalone. Having a particularly tiresome day at work, it wore him thin. First, an irksome morning in which his hair refused to cooperate with the comb, followed by an endless deluge of financial disputes on Northland Bank papers. By dusk, the Harbinger teetered on the edge of exasperation.
Naturally, none would ever suspect a thing; his poise was immaculate and his smile unyielding. Only you can spot the faint cracks behind that polished veneer. So in the evening, when he was busy behind his desk, pen gliding hectically over papers, his voice broke the solemn silence:
“Darling, would you even love me if I were a worm?”
You blinked in bewilderment. “Huh…? You, Pantalone? Why would you-”
“A worm, darling, a worm,” – he repeated. “If I were a pathetic creature, with no Mora to my name, bereft of an attractive face or grand attire, if I were nothing but a little worm begging for your love, would you even look at me?!”
He was, indeed, about to lose it. You try to approach this matter delicately. “Well, honey, logically speaking, you’re not a worm. How can I fall in love with a worm–”
“Oh heavens, even my darling would not love me…! Am I so utterly pathetic?”
Now he buries his face into his gloved palms, the mask of composure finally slipping. You quickly panicked, never wishing to be the cause of his tears. You jumped from your seat and rushed to the Harbinger as he sniffled in self-pity. “Everything is wrong. A worm is more deserving of your love than I! And here I am, weeping like a beggar for your touch.”
“Oh no, dear… shhh, it’s alright! Just come here, you foolish man. What’s gotten into you?”
Pantalone’s head leaned onto your chest while you gently removed his silver-rimmed glasses and combed through his messy locks. His voice carried much fatigue, yet even when his vision was blurry from the lack of lenses, he knew he was safe in your soothing arms. He tried to calm down and tell you of his hectic days, filled with unsuccessful negotiations and many displeasing encounters with people. And you listened, never once stopping your embrace.
“Pantalone, honey, you know I love you. A bad day doesn’t mean you’re now a worm and I’m leaving you, okay?”
He sniffled, and the first, sincere smile of the day finally shone when he asked in a shaky breath – “...Really?”
✧ Tartaglia cracked his knuckles. This young man was beyond ready. He recently caught wind of a peculiar trend of asking your lover the fabled question: “Would you still love me if I was a worm?”. But to negotiate the delicate topic with proper wit, the responses required additional research. So who better to consult for advice than his own sister, Tonia. A connoisseur of romantics and modern quips.
The young lass happily came to aid, giving him the perspective of a younger person, and giving him various advice on how to romantically respond in the hopes of impressing you:
“First rule, don’t just blatantly say no! It’s a hypothetical question.”
“Tell them you will take care of them and give them lots of yummy food even if they turn into a worm.”
“Or better yet, don’t overthink the nuance. Just say you love them more than everything in the world, soldier!”
Childe was so ready, every response rehearsed for every situation. Except when he was back at home, brimming with confidence and grinning ear to ear, all he met was a weary silence.
“Uh, can I help you, Ajax?”
“Well…? Aren’t you going to ask me something, sweetheart?”
You inspected him with suspicion. “Ask what, exactly?”
“You know,” – Tartaglia crossed his arms. “Ask me if I would still love you if you were a worm. It’s all the rage now amongst couples.”
A tense silence hung between you two until eventually the house was filled with your laughter: “Why would I ever ask something so stupid? Why would you love me if I magically turned into a worm, dear? That’s just bizarre. A worm is a worm.”
Utter defeat. And to think the 11th Harbinger was so ready to impress you with romantic words of devotion. Instead, he fumbled like a little boy who said something embarrassing in front of his crush. Even if all his charming rehearsed crumbled, he still uttered sheepishly: “Well… I would still love you.”
“Why?! Why would I even turn into a worm in the first place? Isn’t that more important?”
“Listen, an expert told me not to overthink it! I just love you and that’s final!” – he replied indignantly back at you, his hands finding your shoulders to shake you passionately, your head shook back and forth. “Is it a crime for me to tell you that more often, sweetheart?”
“You could just say that without bringing worms into the equation!”
(realistically, Dottore would phrase it as: would you still love me if I were a brain in a vat like Hilary Putnam suggested?)
They would do it in a heartbeat because without you there is no world. They don't care if it's wrong, all they care about is you, so don't you dare think they would ever let something harm you. Screams were heard all around you, and it wasn't very pleasant, they could tell, so they held you close and never let go. The danger was gone, nothing could harm you now and you were safe, all is fine... They swore to protect you and they will never break that promise. "I love you more than you could ever imagine" They said, trying to make you focus on them and not the fire behind you, "I love you too"
--: SCARAMOUCHE, Xiao, Acheron, CAPITANO, Arlecchino, Raiden Ei, Aventurine + Your Favs
I would let you burn for the world
They love you, they really do, but their Hero of a heart can't just let all those people die, they can't do it. They would rather kill the 'love of thier life' than watch so many innocent die. They cry as they hold the sword to your throat, they cry so much you would've thought you were dreaming. But you weren't, and the pain was real, so very real and you couldn't even cry. "I loved you..." were the last words they heard before your lifeless body fell into their arms.
⌗cw : gn!reader, not proofread, lowercase intended, probably ooc.
he’s a gentleman, he doesn’t get jealous often because he knows for a fact that he has nothing to worry about. you’ve never done anything that made him feel as if he had to watch out and he’s certain that you never will. although he can still get annoyed at the sight of another man flirting with you. it was his insisting even after you turned him down that angered him the most. nonetheless, he doesn’t let such people interfere with his composure. he’ll act mature and take you somewhere else once he sees that the man has no intentions of leaving you alone. as soon as you both get a moment alone together, however, he won’t hesitate to plant a few more kisses than usual. just in case, y’know?
he won’t admit it, but he gets jealous often. he doesn’t want to confront you about it because he believes it’s embarrassing and silly to feel that way. i mean, you’re his and he’s yours. you love him so much, there’s no need to worry, right? yet, he still can’t help but fume at the sight of strangers complimenting you. he can’t blame them, but he still would rather for people to be blind if that meant that they’d leave you alone. he’s aware of how unfair that would be, so he just stays quiet, either sulking or glaring at those people as you offer them a kind smile until you’re both alone where he’ll be needing your utmost attention.
xiao, albedo, thoma, kazuha, kaveh, baizhu.
he’s jealous and he’ll show it. hit on his partner? right in front of him? absolutely not. he might try to keep his calm at first, but as time passes and this scumbag is still around, he won’t hold back. not to worry, he won’t do anything extreme (unless he’s forced to do so), he just wants to make things clear to this guy. he’ll keep it simple at first, simply making subtle comments until he actually starts going straight to the point. after a while, he’ll take your arm and walk away with you, now being angrier than before. the way that guy was talking to him, but especially you, has him furious. be prepared to listen to his angry rant about that random dude. be also prepared to shut him up, you know how.
this guy almost sees you as his property, his jealousy is unmatched. he won’t take anything lightly. if you’re trying to make advantages on his partner, then you’re asking for it. simple as that! he won’t let anyone think they might have a chance with you because you’re destined to be with him and only him. so obviously, he must make it clear to everybody to not even try. if someone is bold enough though, he’ll just stand beside you, piercing through this man’s soul with his icy gaze. thankfully, nothing ever escalated from that. not that he wouldn’t be capable of doing that, these poor souls simply knew better than to get against someone of that status and reputation.
ayato, dottore, pantalone, pierro.
⌗a/n : im not really proud of this, i might edit it once i have time. it’s 4am and i was supposed to be studying, but i ended up writing this instead. talk about procrastination 😪 let me know if i made any mistakes pls
you just KNOW you're at a disadvantage when you are dating someone taller than you...
it's funny how the universe is mocking you in the form of your huge lover (he's not a giant it's just an exaggeration).
trying to grab the cereal from the top-shelf? Here you go, he hands it to you and then places a sweet kiss on the top of your forehead. Need that book? He's already behind you. You can't see the concert from this distance because the crowd is blocking your view? He's already hoisting you on his broad and strong shoulders. "Don't worry love, I'll do anything for you" so he says with lovesick eyes.
"No! I would NEVER do that to you" where he tries to deny of ever teasing you because of your height. But you know he's just lying considering how he sometimes rests his chin on the top of your head or makes you his personal armrest.
bonus points if you're chubby or just inherently soft ! he will pick you up and spin you around and squish you, like a stress reliever if he's had an especially bad day at work. And will lay his head on your soft soft thighs.
your chest aren't safe either, he will either nuzzle in them or the crook of your neck. Inhaling your scent as if it's a kind of aromatherapy for him. in a nutshell, he's smitten.