helpless

When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability... to be alive is to be vulnerable. +

[numbcrboys]

HE INSTANTLY LEANS INTO her palm, chesnut eyes staring into her pretty hues as she spoke. nodding his head every now and then and although he could tell she probably thought he was crazy - that they were crazy, he still had some faith. just a tiny bit. he still wanted to be around her, still wanted to show her a good time, “thank you,” he breathes giving her a gentle smile before chuckling lightly, “yeah, we all balance each other out and help each other … it’s - yeah,” he sighs out not knowing exactly what to say or how to phrase his words. his lips part and he’s about to speak again when he feels pressure on his back and he turns his head to the side. seven’s frame leaning against him, arms going around his waist, “can i take a ba-bath now, eight?” the boy asks and eight holds back a sigh and shifts. some how getting seven under his arm and turning his body so that he was leaning into his chest. “yeah, i’ll get your bath set up in a minute alright?” seven nods against his chest, but refuses to move and eight knows it’s a comfort thing, it’s a mind thing. “are you sure you want to take a cab? you can - you can stay a little longer? or - uh, i could get his bath set up and then i could drive you … whatever you want.” 

[vulnxrables]

THEY WERE SHARING A moment in that instant that she wished would never go away. it had been the only true trice that either of them had shown affection towards one another. they had gone further than simply holding hands and complimenting each others appearance and nova loved that. it gave her a sense of relief that there was definitely a chance of them moving forward in whatever you would call their relationship. “you don’t need to be thanking me,” her touch had fallen from his cheek and found its way back to her side. “it can be dysfunctional but it’s more of a family than what most have. you all care for each other and i can see that even with all the violence.” the fact that something had gone on between all of them, something that they clearly all shared that brought them together was obvious. “i really don’t want to be a bother, you clearly have things to do now and driving me home would be completely in the way of all that, which i don’t want at all. i’ll just call for an uber or something.”

[lekxngs]

( &. between you & i by every avenue + vulnxrables. )

❝ between you and i, she could never compare to you. between you and i, i still keep your pictures underneath my bed – where she gives herself to me, where i give myself to you. ❞

[vulnxrables]

❝    why are you telling me this.. you shouldn’t be saying any of that, we broke up, you moved on. what we had is gone now. ❞ 

[nckopara]

        “that’s definitely it, she just changes the topic each reply. one moment she’ll be speaking about her dog, and suddenly she’s talking about the weather they had four weeks ago. i like talking to her because her replies just make me laugh, i’ll show you. she also uses an obnoxious amount of hashtags on facebook, so i’ll show you them. okay, i’m glad she doesn’t picture is in an incest type of way. i feel more at ease now that i know it’s a daughter-in-law type of thing. oh.. he snapchat’s other girls? well, i won’t be replying to him in future. is he just thirsty for girls? the only guys face i look at is yours, trust me. i barely even know what west looks like, it’s only you. i love your butt and your face, feel blessed. i don’t mind sleeping with all of your clothes on the bed, i think i’ve just gotten used to it, and the dirty sheets just stink of you which is acceptable.”

[vulnxrables]

       “at least she knows how to keep a conversation going! she’s trying to keep you updated on her life, thats what twitter’s all about. she seems like a doll, i think i might have to follow her myself. on facebook? do hashtags even do anything on there? yeah...thats kind of really gross. why are you going to stop snapchatting him because of that? he snapchats just as much guys as he does girls, who’s to say that he likes all of the girls he’s snapchatting...but then again this is west we’re talking about. what do you mean it’s only me? you trying to say something? wow, you better stop with all of these compliments, i can feel my head getting bigger right now.”

[recklcssblues-archived]

chloe: no you dont stfu chloe: tell them that and i will personally punch u in the face chloe: dnt k me chloe: YES DREAM COME TRUE BABY

[vulnxrables]

west: don’t tell me to stfu west: & you want me to go to the beach w/ you west: k! west: STOP BEING AN ASS

[fluoresccnt]

“– are you feeling okay? did you hit your head one something? am i even talking to the real west?”

[vulnxrables]

“yea, i’m the fake west, i  came to fuck with your mind.”

[numbcrboys]

EIGHT KNEW HE’D SCREWED up, he would never be in a successful relationship. he would never be able to handle a girlfriend and three unstable boys, hell he could barely handle himself sometimes. “it’s not fine though,” he whispers a bit hurt that he’d been so stupid and thought that it would be okay to drag her into this mess. “no, i want to take you home, i can take you home, six will be back in a bit and he’ll watch them.” he mumbles lowly knowing that six would get everything under control when he was away or at school. “you’re not a bother, i’m a bother … i - it’s hard to explain.” he breathes out, a desperate look of sadness and uncertainty in his eyes, “i’m like theyre big brother, we’ve … we’ve been through a lot together.” 

[vulnxrables]

SHE COULD SEE THEdefeat in his eyes as she spoke to him softly and she knew that he was beating himself up inside for everything. it definitely hadn’t been the smartest idea to bring her home with him to see what was going on but she would have found out eventually, right? she extended her hand to meet his cheek, cupping it and rubbing it gently with the pad of her thumb. “don’t worry about this okay. it doesn’t change anything at all, everybody has shit that they have to deal with and that’s just life. some of us have it easier than others but that’s not going to change the way i feel about you at all. sure, it isn’t exactly ideal to always have to cute our dates short but i still like you a hell of a lot. and you don’t have to explain any of this to me either, don’t stress over it. i’ll forget like it ever happened if that’s what you want. if you want to explain it to me, don’t do it now. you have too much going on and it should happen when you’re ready and not because you feel like you need to.” she took a breath, scanning the room around them before looking back to him, “and you’re an amazing big brother to these boys, they should feel blessed to have someone as great as you in their life.”

[numbcrboys]

SHE WAS TOTALLY GOING to hate him after this, be afraid of him, something along those lines. he pushed nine’s hair out of his face and rubbed his cheek with his thumb will nova was looking for it. “what did you do?” he whispers hurt, hurt that they were still hurting, that clearly nothing was okay, nothing was getting better. noticing nova, he took the baggy from her and placed it on his forehead - nine didn’t even flinch and that’s when eight knew he was gone. “nine - nine … kelly - nine look at me. come back to me. you’re alright, he’s not here. he’s not going to hurt you. that was six. six isn’t going to hurt you either. you’re alright, you’re okay i promise you’re okay.” he whispers, putting the lads head into his shoulder and rubbing his back, pinching him softly here and there to bring him back to reality. “we’re home, we’re in the apartment. just me you, six and seven. you’re okay, come back to me. don’t go there, don’t.” he whispers into his ear, soothing words, feeling nine finally shit and sigh softly knowing he was back. “go sit on the couch okay? seven?” he says glancing over his shoulder still seeing the younger of the four crying, “baby, go sit with nine okay? hold his hands and hold each other. you’re going to be okay i promise.” 

guiding the both of them to the couch, he sets them down and tosses a blanket on top of them, seven leaned into nine’s chest and nine resting his head on top of the smallers boy head. eyeing nova, he gives her an awkward smile and moves around her to six who’s still int he corner, crouching in front of him he stares for a minute, “hey . . six. haden, look at me. i’m not going to punish you, i would never do that. i’m not him. im not. you’re not his prince. you’re nobody’s prince. you’re my brother and i need you to come back too alright? let it go.” one thumb is rubbing his chin while the other is rubbing chest. “there you go, slow breathes, come back to me. you’re alright. it was just a fight, whatever nine said means nothing. you’re okay.” six snaps back the quickest out of everyone and slowly stands with help from him guiding him to his room, making sure to leave the door open in case he snapped again. “eight i wanna bath. i wanna bath.” seven cried reaching for eight and he gave him a sad smile, “in a minute.” he mumbles approaching nova again. his parts his lips to speak, but nothing comes out. 

[vulnxrables]

NOVA WATCHED IN AWE as he single-handedly took control of the situation and brought them all to a calmer state of mind. she had picked up on him referring to each of them as a number and she would be lying if she said that she wasn’t confused by all of it. she chose to keep that to herself as he clearly had more important things to take care of. nova stood and continued watching as adam went from boy to boy, speaking in hushed tones, calming them one by one. she gave him a warm smile as he approached her, noting that he couldn’t think of anything to say to her. “it’s fine, you don’t have to say anything. i could call a cab home if you want, i can obviously see that you have your hands tied up here and i really don’t want to be a bother or get in the way of anything.” she rushed, suddenly feeling out of place among them all.

[numbcrboys]

HE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE time to answer her because the minute the door is open, chaos is reaching his ears and the sight is mind bottling. “six, stop!” eight screamed at the blond, rushing over to him and grabbing him off nine who was laying on the floor shouting and cursing, seven in the corner shaking and crying. “chill out - stop it damn it - six.” he warned sharply holding him tightly in his grip and shoving him into a corner blocking him from moving at all. taking the hits and punches and curse words being thrown at him. screaming about something nine had said, theres blood coming from his lip and his blue eyes are dark and he’s so violent. eight is taking hits and shoves and he can’t take it as he grabs six by his hair, “sit down and shut up or i swear to go i’ll tie you up! do you want that?! do you want me to tie you up prince?” he has to, he use to trigger him, to get him to stop because six freezes and stares at him, jaw clenching and he knows he’s going to hit him. “sit down or i’ll punish you little prince do you understand?” it’s a mind game. a mind game he’d learned years ago, a mind game he sadly had to pull every now and then. 

thankfully it does work and six is leaned against the wall arms close to his chest, his wide and doe, completely different than before. “eight! eight, pl-please ma-make it - st-stop e-eight.” seven is crying reaching for the the older with grabby hands and eight knows he needs him. “shh, it’s alright, seven. it’s alright. calm down. you’re okay. they’re done fighting. they’re done, i promise.” he says grabbing his face in his hands softly, “breathe baby, breathe for me. you’re alright. deep breathes. six just got a little crazy and nine’s an idiot alright? you’re okay.” he isn’t even thinking about the girl at the door anymore, too focused on the scene before him. seven is wrapping his arms around eight and he holds him just a tight, “can you be a big boy and wait here? please?” he asks softly pushing some hair out of his face and seven nods gasping and he’s quickly moving to nine, “get up,” he says harshly grabbing him by his shirt, wrapping an arm around his waist and putting him inside a chair. eight is mumbling under his breath and nine is biting his tongue, but he can tell in his eyes that he’s slipping and six is trembling in the corner silent and seven is still calling out eight’s number, reaching for him and crying and finally his eyes shoot up to nova. “seven stop crying, it’s alright. it will be alright, nine – nova can you - can you please get some ice and put it in a baggy and bring it over here?” 

[vulnxrables]

NOVA KNEW THAT ADAM had a wild home life but the scene going on before her was something she had never imagined. standing uselessly at the door, the lanky brunette didn’t know what to do with herself as there were so many things happening at once with so many different emotions being thrown around. she debated on calling the police but changed her mind once she saw that adam had miraculously taken control of the situation. it was definitely a good thing that they had left their date early but was this something he really had to deal with constantly? she didn’t understand how he had gotten himself into such a mess but she couldn’t help but feel bad for him, whatever the reason might be. she was brought out of her trance by the sound of adam’s familiar voice calling her name. “oh   yea, of course.” she stepped inside the home, rounding the corner that she assumed would lead her to the kitchen. after a few confused moments she finally had found the kitchen and did as she was asked. with shaky hands, she brought the bag of ice over to adam, handing it to him as she tried to avoid making eye contact with any of the other men in the room. 

[recklcssblues-archived]

chloe: yeah if you say so chloe: tell them i think they r all ugly chloe: yES HOE chloe: please :((((((((((((((((((( westttt

[vulnxrables]

west: i do say so west: no ill tell them that you find them sexy af west: K west: fine holy shit

[numbcrboys]

EIGHT SNORTED AS HE climbed into the car and started it. easily starting the car and driving a bit too fast down the street. they sure as hell were a bittersweet lovely bunch. eight loved them, of course they did, he loved them deeply, they were his brothers, he took care of them before and he took care of them now. They took care of each other and he only guessed they relied more on him because of his age and relations with Andrew Evans. Clearing his throat, the car ride is about silent before he’s pulling into the small shared apartment, rushing to the door and throwing it open. 

[vulnxrables]

THE CAR RIDE WAS at a comfortable silence for the majority of it, the only sound being the radio playing quietly at its low volume in the background and the occasional sniffle or cough from nova. when they had finally arrived to his apartment adam was out of the car before nova even had her seat belt off and she was a bit confused as to if she should follow him in or stay in the car. she decided to go with the former and got out of the car, doing her best to stay close behind him with the heels that she had on. “are you sure everything is fine, adam?” 

[recklcssblues-archived]

chloe: uh yes i know u tf chloe: only sometimes but they all called me lame so ??? chloe: sHUT IT chloe: come w me :((

[vulnxrables]

west: apparently not all that well then!! west: they were just teasing jeeze west: NO west: HA no

[nckopara]

         “i’ve seen her tweet about her dinner, television, cat and post random pictures of her children. she’s the typical internet aunt, you know? she’d often randomly tweet me about her dog, or something completely random. oh my god, your cutie of a mom is going to make me blush. give her a hug from me, i miss her. she considers me her daughter, yet she wants me to date her son? that makes me nervous, very nervous. oh my god, no. they’ve all been his face, or just him shirtless. he’s never sent me freaky ones like that, otherwise i would’ve had you murder him. not every guy you know likes me, shut your pretty little mouth. i love your arms, it’s why i often have a tendency to feel them whenever you’re shirtless around me. it’s the same way your bed is mine, i do love your bed.”

[vulnxrables]

        “so basically a facebook status in twitter form, gotcha. does she use an excessive and almost obnoxious amount of hashtags in her tweets? aw, that’s cute though. she’s out of town right now but when she gets back i can definitely do that for you. yea but she means it in a daughter-in-law way not actual birthed daughter type of way. she’s weird but not that weird. alright! i’m just making sure! yea but then again he snapchats quite a few girls. yes they do but, again, you’re to oblivious and too busy looking at their butts to notice that. they’re not that great though. yea except my bed is always covered in clothes and probably hasnt had its sheets changed in a while.”

[numbcrboys]

LETTING OUT A HUFF of air, eight offered her a smile and a nod of his head. grabbing her hand and taking her to the car. he planned on having a long talk with the boys. explaining to them that he wanted his alone times and that they couldn’t rely on him every single time something happened. “no, i really am sorry, this always happens. if it’s not se - cameron freaking out then it’s kelly having an episode or haden fighting someone.” he muttered under his breath. he hadn’t wanted to expose her to his lifestyle yet, he still had to explain everything to her, explain why he was the way he was, why his roommates - more so brothers - were the way they were too. he knew you couldn’t just lay it on the table on the first few dates, maybe a few weeks in or even a few months. sighing, eight bit the inside of his lip and opened the car door for her. 

[vulnxrables]

SHE LET HER THUMB rub soothingly against the back of his hand, she could tell that he really was sorry sorry for their dates always being cut short by his roommates. this would be her first time meeting them and she couldn’t help but be a bit on edge after the description she was just given of them. “oh, wow, they sound...they sound like really lovely people.” and she said this with somewhat of a forced smile. obviously she knew better than to judge before she even met them properly but it seemed as though they were living in a mad house. she thanked him once he had opened the door for her, sliding into the familiar vehicle and waiting patiently for him to come around on the drivers side. 

[recklcssblues-archived]

chloe: no you don’t seem like the type chloe: sry u wish, you’re friends r gross chloe: pls how chloe: and u should still cuddle her ugly

[vulnxrables]

west: do you even know me???? west: no, you call them hot all the time west: ur saying fuck me but begging to hangout west: alright, have fun at the beach

[nckopara]

         “trust me, i know. i don’t think she realized it wasn’t for people over thirty, unless you’re famous. she asks why we’re not dating? that’s cute, really cute. you need to tell her we can’t risk our friendship, and the fact that we’re like siblings who share a bed. yeah, i know. i don’t know, maybe ask him? he’s sent me plenty of snapchats and he does text me a little, maybe he does like me. i don’t know, it’s weird having a boy like me. oh, i’ve certainly noticed you go to the gym. have you seen how good your arms look lately, park? you’re not annoying, shut up! you can sleep over whenever, my bed is practically yours at this point.”

[vulnxrables]

        “does she tweet weird stuff? i could picture her tweets now and i can’t stop laughing. yea, all the time, she’s so obsessed with you being her daughter and thats the only way how. plus she just thinks since we’ve been friends for so long that it’s mean to be. yea, i think she understands that but she still says stuff like that anyway. are his snapchats just his face...or something else, if you catch my drift. yeah, so weird, even though every guy i know does. i don’t go that frequently though, my arms are just that way from playing guitar. yes i am! this is very true.”

[espoielle-blog]

“you’re sweet but you’ve definitely ensured that if we  ever go out to some fancy ass place, i’m not asking your opinion as to what i look like. damn, if you had it your way, i’d be leaving the house looking like a hobo just so you can eat your food.” teddie hadn’t woken up in the  best of moods and that was mainly due to her being just as hungry as he was. “if not, we can always go back to  yours.” she yawned. “your bed is way comfier anyway.” 

[vulnxrables]

“i’m only being honest, you look good no matter what. you probably wouldn’t even look bad as a hobo, hell, you’d be the hottest hobo to walk the earth, babe.” she was right though, half the time he really didn’t pay much attention to what she wore, which probably wasn’t the best thing but he couldn’t help it. no matter what she wore she always managed to take his breath away. “i’m starting to think that you locked yourself out on purpose.”

[espoielle-blog]

her bright eyes were wide open once more and christian couldn’t help but smile. how he got so lucky, he wasn’t quite sure. anybody who met giovanna immediately noticed how gorgeous she was. he laughed a little shaking his head slightly and raising his eyebrows at how her list was much longer than his own. “those better not be cravings, you’re  acting like you’re pregnant up here with all that food.” he  laughed pressing another kiss to the side of her face. “but yes, the gym probably could be a good thing for both of us. sweat it out, keeping active.” 

[vulnxrables]

her grin grew at the sight of his, not wanting to wake up to any other sight but this one. she knew that the next two weeks would go by faster than they both would like it to but that would only motivate her to get them to do as much as they could together in the short span of time. because after the next couple of weeks they really weren’t sure when they would get to see each other again. sitting up, gi stretched her arms out before getting out of the bed completely. dressed in only an over-sized t-shirt and underwear, she decided it would probably be best for her to put on a pair of pants before her mother or father walked in to see her that way. “don’t worry, baby. it’s not those types of cravings.”