❛ ACE ;
when ace acted upon his IMPULSIVE behavior, he didn’t think of others —- & often; he didn’t THINK of the impact he would inflict on his own being. his stomach tightens up & the saliva in his mouth seems to disappear – GUILT: an emotion he has never experienced before until now, until he can see your eyes with his own. he quickly drops his gaze so he doesn’t have to witness the amount of DAMAGE he’s given you – his constant self-sabotaging actions not only RUNING himself but others. usually, he doesn’t possess such emotion to care, but this time … he’s created an attachment unlike he’s ever before & he finds himself unable to deal with what he’s done.
he’s quiet, his feet shuffling, before he takes your hand from his jaw & into his own. an apology is ITCHING to leave his lips, but he’s unable to say such words – to place himself in such vulnerability, so he remains silent.
❛ it’s okay. ❜ & the words are out of his mouth before he can reconsider the very notion of FORGIVENESS. perhaps someone braver, someone less DEPENDENT ------------- perhaps they would have slammed the door, worn a brave face, or at least given him HELL for trying to get away with what they did. vos can’t do that. as he studies & examines his hand in the others’ ( where his own marks a faint tremor ), it’s his plain INABILITY, an unalienable characteristic that has him accepting ace again with open arms & a place already set at the table. of course, there are labels for placating acts such as these ; some like weak, pushover ---------- but he’s also never been one to particularly CARE, either. he’d take years of being a coward & have ace than any life without. he needs to be closer, so he withdraws their linked hands, pushing forward into the other’s personal space & HOOKING his own arms around the other’s waist in an embrace ----------- a true, physical proof of the other’s tangibility. when he speaks, his voice is thin & rough ; crying, he presumes. ❛ it’s okay. i’m glad you’re ----- you’re HERE. ❜
