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we're not kids anymore.

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One Nice Bug Per Day
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@vvxrped
whereâs that video of the naked crackhead literally running the speed of a moving car and I use the term literally literally he was deadass keeping up with the car
Hi! Humans donât have an eye shine, so thatâs not a person!
đ¨
Thats a windigoâŚ.
Unnu have duppy a run yuh down inna miggle night!? What have you done??!
life gets so much better when you realize you can literally do whatever the fuck you want if you dont care what anyone thinks about you
via weheartit
itâs sometimes hard to believe rasputin was real. like thereâs no non-fucked up part of rasputinâs existence
did he do something problematic i thought he was just russiaâs greatest love machine
basic (true) story: fanatical russian monk who has almost never shaved or washed and smells like goats shows up at the russian capital with a creepy look on his beardy face and everyone just assumes heâs a prophet or a saint because heâs got a cult following that believes he can cure illnesses. his stans are sexually obsessed with him and he gets just a fuckton of russian pussy wherever he goes cause apparently he can cure his true believers of illness with god-given dick magic. russiaâs queen has him come stay at the palace and sets him up in luxury because she thinks he can cure her sonâs haemophilia with the power of russian goat jesus, and they (allegedly) become lovers, probably, âcause she craves that unwashed goat-scented dick like the rest of his cult which she now (allegedly) belongs to.Â
then the worst assassins in the history of assassinations try to assassinate him, because all of russia is slutshaming the queen he has too much power over the royal family and itâs helping revolutionaries turn people against the royals. so these idiots have him round for tea and cakes which are poisoned with cyanide, but he is magically unaffected by poison they get the dose wrong and he doesnât die, and then he drinks three glasses of wine, which are also poisoned, and he doesnât die, so they tell him to look at a crucifix and shoot him in the chest with a revolver when he isnât looking, and he doesnât die, but they think heâs dead so one of them dresses in his clothes and gets driven to his apartment to make it look like heâs gone home to hide the crime, and when they come back he gets up and attacks them, so they stab him in the side with a knife, and he doesnât die, and then he frees himself and runs outside, so they shoot him a few times more, including in the forehead, and they wrap his body up and chuck him in the icy river, and he doesnât go into the water, so his body is found on the ice the next day. and get thisâŚ. he diedâŚ. of hypothermia.
additionally, everyone who wasnt in the party of getting rid of rasputin was pretty bummed out when they found him and his miracle dick dead the next day and there was a pretty bangin funeral of which the royal family themselves attended. however after the tsar was overthrown a few month later they exhumed his body and burned it because the new leadership was very adamant about making sure there were no ties left to honor the old monarchy. however this dudes body had never been properly prepped for a cremation which meant that under the extreme heat his tendons and ligaments began to retract and shrink causing his dead body to move and twitch around as if still animate. according to some testimony his body actually sat up straight on the pyre, and at least one spectator fired a gun at the body and another may have allegedly died of shock.
Rasputin was an old god from times before humans
He is like a cleric gone wild
âdid rasputin do something problematicâ i am going to die
By Charlie Speeckaert
Breaktaking Design