Once you were entirely committed: my young limbs was what you wanted to see grow and wilt with time. My sorrows were eased when you allowed me to believe that my mind was the source of enlightenment and enriched conversation that could sustain a million years and counting.
365 days felt like one week, every time you said goodnight without me, I kissed the screen like old times.
I built walls and I was the General, Commander and Chief. I defended, it seemed like no one was there to do it for me. God, I felt so much pity and I could say I was feeling sorry for myself, but I was becoming so malnourished - that I was finding it difficult to understand what was left of me to even feel sorry for?
I allowed the words to break down my forte, the commander was sleeping, the chief was throwing up and the general was barking back - screaming inconsistencies, hoping that you would comprehend that it was the hurt talking reverse psychology.
Nobody figured out the codes, the cries for help. I wasn’t the person of priority- I was the same person running home from school just to have 5 minutes of words. I learnt how to type fast, or it didn’t matter, as long as 3 ’ I love you ’ and ’ I miss you ’ eased the numbness and absence.
How you corrupted my mind and we joined forces, so many armies against us- and I built my walls thicker, arranged traps and stumbled quietly around. How irritating it must have seemed to witness a change of personality. I lost myself in the mess of the past, gained wisdoms and lost more weight. You were certain I lost my mind and I was certain I lost you.
How I ache and remember your body next to mine, folding together linen and flesh. I wake up and expect you there, but it’s just a pillow and a t-shirt I stole. Smells so attractive and alive that its just too hard not to press against it and let it breathe against my soy skin and broken taps.
Will you want others after this. Will you tell me that I'm destroying your freedom by preventing you from seeing other people? Am I foolish to believe that soul mates do exist and the beauty of passion, familiarity and intimacy takes decades to perfect? I want to know you, the real you. I know you think you have me all figured out to the exact measure, but my changes that are acknowledged are and will be exciting element to a lasting partnership. However you make sense of it, I respect your path, I just hope eventually you will be able to write me in it. Don't change who you are entirely, or at least, lets try together and make sense of the world in a civil matter..
kianamaiart
germansingergirl
origamiaround
titsay
