HELP sorry ive been working nonstop and just didnโt really have the energy or drive to write anything ๐ updates might be sporadic bc next week i go back to school + working so ill have even less free time
A/N: hi sorry for falling off the face of the earth ๐ค life has been hectic im so sorry im trying to get back into writing :( ily thank you for the anons and the patience ur all so sweet (send an ask or reply to be added to the taglist๐ซ)
i just wanna apologize for going ghost for the past month. iโm experiencing really bad burn out, just with life and adulting in general. iโm swarmed at work, and my mental health isnโt great right now and i donโt want to push myself to write or post when im not enjoying it at the moment. i have not forgotten about you, or maneater, i will continue to update. iโm not sure when, but soon, i promise. thank you for your patience and understanding, youโre all so sweet with the anons and the dms. see you soon! ๐ซ
A/N: iโm so sorry for going MIA im just so fucking exhausted ๐ญ and my mental health hasnโt been the greatest and my job is working me like a dog lmao. just please be patient with me, iโm trying to update as often as i can without completely burning myself out. sorry guys.
y/n swears she has never stood up so fast in her life. she felt a surge of panic run cold through her blood, the unreadable text messages from her younger brother flying through like he was on autopilot made her go into protective mode. in her eyes, in this very moment, nothing mattered more than riki. not even the futile attempt yudai made to call out to her as he watched her untangle herself from his arms and start frantically packing up her belongings. his pleas fell on deaf ears.
"y/nie, what's wrong, baby? is everything okay?" he stood up after her, trying to halt her chaotic movements. the boy grabbed her shoulders and turned her to face him before pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "talk to me, what's going on?" he quizzed, studying her facial expression. "it's riki. he needs me right now, i have to go." her words came out faster than she had intended them m to, so fast that they were almost incomprehensible. she turned back around, however, she didn't miss the small falter in yudai's attitude, almost like his mask was cracking slightly, unlocking glimpses of his true nature. he quickly shook his head, plastering tape over that very mask and tried to reason with her.
"baby, he's 18. he can't run to his sister for every minor inconvenience he faces. he has to be a big boy." yudai couldn't hide the annoyance in his tone. y/n was quick to rebuttal, already feeling on edge. "this isn't a minor inconvenience yudai. riki is always going to be my number one priority, we've had this conversation plenty of times and i refuse to talk about this with you again. if he needs me i'm there." she didn't want to believe he was that insensitive, that he was brushing off the feelings of the most important person in her life. she never told him of her mother's condition. she wanted to keep that private. she wanted one person in her life not to pity her. she chalked his insensitivity up to naivety and lack of knowledge on the sibling's situation.
"you're allowed to live a life of your own. to put yourself first, y/n." he started gently, rubbing a soft hand up and down her arm, in what seemed to be an attempt to comfort her on the surface but in all reality was him trying to convince her not to go. "you're spending time with your boyfriend, who you promised you would spend the night. now you're leaving so suddenly, because someone else needs you, as always." his arm circled her waist and his chin rested on her shoulder. she sighed, guilt seeping into her heart. "i'm sorry i have to leave so suddenly and i promise that soon i will spend the night with you and i will be all yours, but i won't apologize for why i'm leaving. he needs me." and with that, she pulled away from his grasp and clasped her overnight bag in her hands. when she heard him groan, she sighed once more, yet this time it was in agitation rather than guilt. "if you love me the way you say you do, you would understand. i wouldn't be able to sleep tonight knowing he needed me and i wasn't there. i'll text you when i get home, okay?" she stood on her tippy toes to plant a soft kiss on his lips before turning on her heels and making her way out of his room. she sent a wave to his roommate, EJ, as she slipped her shoes on and left without a word.
the girl was driving way over the speed limit. she was oblivious to how fast she was going until she heard a horn sound at her making her check her speedometer and see she was going 15 over the speed limit. she slowed herself down slightly, trying to avoid the mess of crying her way out of a ticket, knowing that would take up more time from her trying to get to her brother. the drive from yudai's dorm to the frat house was 20 minutes, needless to say, the girl sighed when she made it there in 10. she left her belongings in the car, her feet moving too fast for her brain as she nearly ran to the front door, banging on it in frantic motions. her knocks were relentless, not even giving time to whoever the receiver was.
when sunghoon swung the door open with a scowl on his face, she didn't even bat an eye, just shoved by him and welcomed herself in. she was so focused on finding her brother, she didn't even think about the fact that her and fuma haven't talked in weeks, nearly a month. so when she saw her best friend and older brother figure staring at her in shock before letting an awkward cough and turning his head, she couldn't help the pang in her heart realizing how long it's been since they'd seen each other in person. "can we help you? or do you just barge into everyone's house unannounced?" sunghoon crossed his arms over his chest, raising an eyebrow at the girl who once again, paid no mind to him. she ignored the boys lounged around the coffee table that was filled with devoured food and beelined for the bathroom that she knew riki was in. "what the hell are you doing?" sunghoon questioned her, watching her silently chaotic actions, irritated that she was ignoring him. y/n knocked on the door softly, a complete contrast to how she nearly busted down the frat boy's door. "ki, it's me. unlock it." she whispered to the other side, and almost immediately she heard the click of the lock making her quickly open the door to slip inside, just to shut it and lock it again.
the sight of her baby brother curled into a ball on the floor with tear-soaked cheeks, red eyes, and labored breath shattered her heart into a million tiny pieces. "oh bub." she cooed, sitting down on the floor with him and pulled his head onto her lap. "i don't know what's happening to me-" riki stumbled over his words, coughing a bit from his lack of air. she felt helpless, knowing that their dad was the direct cause of it made her feel defeated. she couldn't protect him from their parents. "you're having a panic attack, ki. i know it's scary because you've never had one before but it's okay, we're gonna get you through it, okay?" she ran her fingers through his hair gently, walking him through breathing exercises and finger taps, coping mechanisms she learned from fuma when he helped her through her panic attacks.
after about 20 minutes of talking him through it, he was finally able to regulate his breathing, yet she let him take his time and just silently continued to run her hands through his dark hair while she waited for him to be ready. "i'm sorry." he whispered, his head still turned away from her line of vision and although he couldn't see her it didn't stop her from shaking her head before he even finished speaking. "don't ever apologize for needing me, riki. i've told you since you were a baby, you call i come running, okay? you did the right thing. i wouldn't want you going through that alone. now, i can ask fuma if you can spend the night in his bed if you don't want to have to walk past the boys, or i can bring you home with me? or back to your dorm? you tell me what you want to do." she planted a kiss on his head, waiting patiently for his response. "you." is all he had the energy to say.
"okay, let's get you home then, yeah?" she spoke as she helped him up to his feet. the way his shoulders slumped and how puffy his eyes were broke her heart, and she was going to make sure he was comfortable tonight and slept peacefully, hoping for a better day tomorrow. as the pair made their way out of the bathroom, she tried distracting the boys from riki's state as he put his shoes on. "when are we meeting next for this charity event?" she asked, twirling her keys around her fingers. sunghoon rolled his eyes, "as soon as you're done being so busy with your boyfriend." riki patted her shoulder signaling he was ready.
"oh blow me. stay mad, stay bitchless. see ya'll later." she nodded her head in the direction of the door, waiting for riki to follow her as she heard a choir of 'bye's' from their friends. when they settled the car, riki rested his head on the window with tired eyes and his sister placed her hand over the top of his, with a comforting smile. "i got you, kid. i always got you."
when she had gotten riki settled into bed, and knew he was sound asleep, she fumbled with her phone for a few minutes, and while she ignored all of the angry text messages yudai was bombarding her with, as her finger hovered over the unblock button. she swore she would never allow them to contact her ever again but when it comes to her brother, she would protect him from the entirety of the cruel word if she had the chance. she took one more glance at his sleeping figure, his arms wrapped around a pillow he had tucked to his chest and his messy hair falling over his eyes. she watched the way his chest rose and fell slowly, giving her flashbacks to just hours ago when he couldn't catch his breath and the reason why he was in such a state of distraught. that same feeling of anger bubbled in her chest, like her entire being was lit aflame and she needed to act on it. all rationality flew out the window, and her finger came in contact with the 'unblock caller' button, and without hesitation she typed out an aggressive text message and hit send before shutting her phone off and getting comfortable in bed next to her brother, settling in for the night.
A/N: iโm so sorry for the delay on this, work has kept me so busy that i havenโt had time to barley even open this app LMAOOO im trying guys thank you for your patience. to be added to the taglist, send an ask or reply to this! i made a form for my general taglist for all posts, its in my pinned!! ๐ซ
hi lovelies, i made a google form to be added to my general taglist! itโs in my pinned and iโll also put it here if thatโs something youโre interested in! still working on the chap, thank you for your patience <3
hi!! can i be added to your general taglist(if u have one) pls? เป๊ฐเพเฝฒ เน ยด ห ` เฅ ๊ฑเพเฝฒแ for all the groups u write for!
idk why iโm just seeing this baby im so sorry๐ญi actually was thinking about this, im still thinking about it but ill add you to the maneater taglist for now since thatโs what im working on solely, and when i do my requests i will keep you guys updated on wether or not i do a taglist ๐ซ
