[whatshouldwecallme]

When my best friend is drunkenly embarrassing herself and I have to take things into my own hands

[wahlnut]

*walks into room labelled employees only*

Employee: hey this room is for employees only

Me: then how am I standing here?

Manager: damn ur hired

[pu69y-deactivated20170210]

when u shave but he start acting up so u glue it back on

[mercutihoe]

if I go to banksys theme park and sit down in the middle of everything and just scream do you think people will think im an exhibit

[shewillfeatdrake]

low key I love when the hairdresser doesn’t talk to me when they’re cutting my hair

[fleatwood]

I can’t wait until our generation becomes teachers that actually know how to make a video full screen and get the god damn cursor out of the way

[haillordsauron]

Lol

[truestoriesaboutme]

*cut to 15 years later*

“Miss, you have to make the hologram 3D.”

“What? Hold on, I’m trying to full screen this. Where’s the cursor?”

“There is no cursor, Miss. Flick your wrist to make the hologram 3D.”

“And that’ll fullscreen it?”

*entire class sighs*

[ipomoea-nil]

what’s really amazing to me is that people are so afraid of body hair on women that even in a shaving commercial they won’t show a hairy leg. they demonstrate the razor by shaving a hairless leg. they show their product being completely useless instead of showing leg hair. it’s just crazy

[shyshounen]

[yungxpapi]

ok honestly if you’re ever curious about anything, get me sleep deprived and asked me at 3 in the morning and you’ll get a solid answer.

[tinyclicks]

[loyalmelanin]

[ellieeeeeeeee]

[tittytron]

for my final trick, i shall turn into a disappointment

[wahlnut]

things straight ppl say in movies

girl: what are you doing?

boy: something i should have done a long time ago

*violent make out scene*

[outofthewoods]

[briancolfermoved-deactivated201]

penis

penisn’t

[indigo-halo-deactivated20181213]

vagina

vagouta

[docprofsmith]

anus

anyou

[quo-fomo]

blowjob

blowunemployed

[vietguru-deactivated20161025]