certified door post
Jules of Nature
Today's Document
No title available
No title available
YOU ARE THE REASON

★
𓃗
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

Jar Jar Binks Fan Club

PR's Tumblrdome
The Stonewall Inn
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
hello vonnie
tumblr dot com
icyghini twinkie
Claire Keane

gracie abrams
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
noise dept.

@theartofmadeline
seen from Canada

seen from Australia
seen from China
seen from Bangladesh

seen from Singapore
seen from Bangladesh
seen from United States

seen from Vietnam

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Canada

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States

seen from Bangladesh
seen from Malaysia

seen from Indonesia

seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
@waistdeepcat
certified door post
barnyard the original party animals is the uncontested lord of bad implications in childrens movies
ok so like “the secret life of x” movies tend to not strongly explore the actual reasons why, exactly, their life has to be secret… they don’t really focus on it within the narrative. They do usually have some small justification for why animals or video games or toys or whatever have never just revealed themselves:
There’s no stated reason. They just pretend to not be alive. We usually can suspend our suspension of disbelief here because when it’s something like a video game or an emoji because any odd occurrences is perceived as a glitch or something similar but the actual reason why they aren’t too hung up on this kinda shitty lot in life isn’t said
They get something out of their current relationship with humans (like in toy story)
They have some specific reason to hide that they’re alive, like they die if they’re seen (like in the christmas toy)
They perceive themselves as sentient, talking creatures, but humans can’t understand them. They just see a squeaking mouse or an inanimate hot dog or whatever.
and the last one is what most animal movies do, and it’s like, not devoid of weird implications but you can see where it mostly works.
but barnyard is the outlier here: it goes with tier one: the animals can talk and walk on two legs but just pretend that they can’t for unstated reasons.
in the history of the barnyard world non human animals, at some point, decided to just pretend to be unable to speak. a “cow” or a “coyote” or a “hen” do not exist as we know it in the barnyard universe. the baa of the sheep is false; the ewe doesn’t understand it either. they only made up that noise to hide the fact that they speak human languages. a dog barking and running on all fours is a facade. animals naturally walk on their hind legs and made up whole postures just to appear non sentient.
and for what? what do they gain from this? they have no rights and no voice by their own choice. at one point a donkey claims the farmer is a good person because he’s vegan and a pig mentions bacon - this is not a fantasy universe devoid of death and misery and meat. do animals, in hushed whispers, remind their children not to sob in their real voice as they’re taken away? do the dogs not beg for kindness when they’re tied up and hit? do cows and chickens not cry for their life in the slaughterhouses? does a rat not scream a human scream when the trap misses their neck and only breaks their spine? Why? what is the point? They loose so much and have everything to gain.
anyways does everyone remember this really awful cat. it only appears in one scene but i can just sense the porn of it that would pop up if i googled it’s name
This post is like being tied to a chair as a a joker-style villain monologues and presses a gun closer and closer to my head as he reaches the climax of his rehearsed piece on the flaws of society and when he finally pulls the trigger it’s a little flag that says “bang!”
play pretend
continued
Y'know, that sound from the other room sounded remarkably similar to a one kg bag of cat treats falling off the counter and opening up on the floor
The heist of the century
the criminal is getting notes again.....
Everyone spun masterfully!
whats a stereotype for your country that you absolutely do. mine is that i unironically go "eh" and apologize a lot and i often drink maple syrup straight
The grip that Burger & Big Drink has on the American People cannot be overstated
Calico out there putting tuxedo on the mats
whats a stereotype for your country that you absolutely do. mine is that i unironically go "eh" and apologize a lot and i often drink maple syrup straight
The grip that Burger & Big Drink has on the American People cannot be overstated
"there's no way toby can wrap all this up in just 2 chapters!"
toby, preparing to drop chapter 6 chapter 1:
loving the lord of the rings so far
There once was a doctor named Freud
who woman preferred to a-void
bitch loved his cocaine
But he couldn't explain
Hatsune Miku vocaloid
im fucking crying
all the rights that come with marriage you should be able to have without marriage btw. you should be able to designate a person who can visit you in the hospital regardless of your relationship to that person.
Reminder to all nonbinary people: You can summon SUE the T. rex for aid
Having a rough day? Never fear!
Ellie the aggressive snugglebird is here! And she has a message for you:
Conure kissing noises!
I hope this helps you have a better day ^_^
It's my cat's birthday (anniversary of me getting him) so I told him the story of his life while petting him real good
Highlights include:
For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.
Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.
Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.
I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.
I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.
Now you've lived with me for five years. Five is like the number of toe beans on one of your feet. When I clip your nails five is when we're halfway done. But we're hopefully not even halfway done with how long we get to be together. I'm gonna have to figure out new ways to help you count.
Actually I've decided this is a poem
This is getting notes so let me just say
Himb 💞💝💘💖💞💝
1 in 5 people are probably plural
5 in 1 person is definitely plural
Top contender for my dumbest post ever