DEAR READER,ย this is how it happened . itโs was perfectly boring day , in her perfectly boring life , in her perfectly boring house & cressida cowper had made her cry . again . itโs not that it was anything new , the second sheโd seen her at the modiste on the verge of tears as she was fitted for a dress she didnโt even wantย ( an awful yellow dress that made her look & feel decidedly unhappy ) miss cowperย known that her target would be easy & sheโd been right . it had been easy to get penelope alone and even easier to crush whatever confidence sheโd had walking into the modiste . sheโd begged , more than once , for her mama to let her wait to make her debut . maybe , if sheโd debuted with eloise sheโd have had a bit more confidence knowing that someone , just one person , was on her side . mrs. featherington had not agreed . absolutely refusing to cry , sheโd written down every single hurtful thought sheโd had . in retrospect , leaving it out where her mother & her sisters could find it had been an oversight - especially since some of those hurtful things were about them . itโs not her mother or her sisters who find it though , itโs her fatherโs solicitor & despite her total mortification , heโs laughing at her words . calls her smart & witty when she wasnโt even trying to be & when he offers her a job - a chance to write , a chance sheโd never ever get again . a chance to do something she loved without anyone being able to stop her . somehow , she knows sheโll never get the chance again . sheโs seventeen when lady whistledown starts & it simultaneously gives her all of the freedom that she does not have in her real life & puts her in a box . every ball , every luncheon , every outing she is half there and half collecting information for her column . it almost keeps her busy enough to forget that itโs all sheโll ever have . her writing . this column . not a family , as sheโs supposed to . not as if sheโs trying so very hard for the first few years sheโs out , hopelessly in love with a man who declares he will never marry her in the middle of the street to his brothers ( she loves him after that too ) . sheโs comforted in the fact that she gets to do what she loves , she gets to make her own money , even her own freedoms ( to an extent ) , and thatโs more than most ladies get in a lifetime .