Blood for Lips and Smoke for Eyes

I solemnly swear that i am up to no good

[polyglotplatypus]

please listen to this poor man losing his shit as he reads an article blaming millenials for killing the mayonnaise industry that was written by a babyboomer upset people don’t want to eat her bland salads anymore

[cherrypiereadytodie]

des

[cherrypiereadytodie]

pa

[cherrypiereadytodie]

[sixpenceee]

This is a coffin couch.

Posted by princessponyta

[sweetsassykitten]

Maybe a red coffin with black fabric, but yes.

[durbikins]

Duolingo when you miss one day of training

[sighdumbb]

[shavingryansprivates-deactivate]

holy shit

[josukekun-deactivated20130906]

JESUS

[tramampoline]

omg

[itsvondell-deactivated20180104]

wh

[transhumanisticpanspermia]

it’s back

[arcticsirius]

wat

[mage-of-time]

I have yet to witness something as fucked up as this

[ttrust-no-one]

WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST READ

[ellanah]

Jesus Christ ????

[virginalbrides]

i’m done goodbye

[spooky030]

This some @sixpenceee shit

[snailtattoo-deactivated20210605]

Pete Wentz “blowing” Brendon Urie during New Perspective

[foreverhelives-deactivated20170]

“Lady who has a Bible Verse for every situation.”

[my--darling--dear]

IM DYIJG I LOST IT AT APPLE

[marcysartbo0k-deactivated202301]

This made me laugh for a couple of minutes it is so hilarious and cute!

[littleskyz]

omg

[abduction]

[chamsas1-deactivated20160809]

if you’re wearing a jeffree star, kat von d, or kylie cosmetics product your whole makeup look is ugly

[iforgotwhatitfeltlike-deactivat]

at least they’re all cruelty free!!!!!!

[chamsas1-deactivated20160809]

wh*te feminism

[eearth-deactivated20180601]

[littlemangoes]

^lmfaooooo

[waltz-acrossnaive]

👏🏻I👏🏻spent👏🏻my👏🏻coin👏🏻be👏🏻fore👏🏻this👏🏻shit👏🏻went👏🏻down. If you think I'm throwing out 20 dollar products I bought before all this leaked you are out your mind. Will I keep supporting these brands? No. Kylie's products are awful anyway. But I will use what I do have up until it's gone. If not that's a waste.

[pettyboy]

when ur in geography class but u don’t know what’s happening

[waltz-acrossnaive]

I love how it's next to Am Dafok

[gmbencompetence]

We need to have a nomination for “Stupidest thing Tumblr.com has ever believed” and just move into an official Top 10 List.

For my nominations, I’m putting up:

If you eat a chocolate bar a very specific way, you will break physics and get infinite chocolate.

or

It is impossible that you spelled “Berenstain Bears” wrong and is, instead, more likely that the universe fractured into separate, overlapping realities in the last 20 years.

I can’t decide which is more beautiful. It’s why we need a vote.

[jupiterjunebug]

this is a picture of the human brain at the moment of death. tragic and beautiful

[gmbencompetence]

Fuck. That is a damn good nomination.

[thisisdefinitelyacreativename]

if you close your eyes when the train hits your brain will assume you are dead. Some find this comforting.

[gmbencompetence]

We’re getting into the good ones now. This is some classic Tumblr.

[turtle-powered]

Two old favourites:

“Bitch, That’s the Tubby Custard Machine” (http://imgur.com/gallery/IObQF)

and the horse dildo that was passed off as someone’s arm. (http://abakkus.tumblr.com/post/48958415162)

[gmbencompetence]

This is rapidly becoming a master post of ignorances and I could not possibly be happier.

[analienorsutin]

Rare blue watermelon

[sickofimmortality]

That disease where you get purple eyes, no period, and no body hair

[akiraita]

How have we gone this far without anyone mentioning the bird in the chocolate fountain

[unicornfan]

soap makes water molecules smaller

[elphabaoftheopera]

I nominate the “we are killing the earth” picture of the earth in comparison from 1978 to 2012

[brucebocchi]

the dog with the slice of ham on its face that everyone thought was a gigantic burn scar

[adataraxia]

“Tequila is the only alcohol thats not a depressant so you can drink as much of it as you like”

[softurl]

[sasukehateblog]

that post with the picture of the joker without makeup and people thinking it was a real person and defending him

[painisthecleanser]

that photo of voldemort being passed off as an aborted fetus

[stankyleg-deactivated2918973]

The two way mirror

[rinlockhart]

“listen here, cumslut.”

[tenaflyviper]

I can’t believe you guys forgot someone trying to pass off a picture of the inside of a fig as a microscopic view of the inside of a vagina.

[steven-universe-official-deacti]

Eliminate tumblr.

[theapplebane-deactivated2016071]

pls kill tumblr

[some-online-spiral]

has no one mentioned the time when someone tried to defend mayonnaise as a gender?

[furlockhound-inactive-moved-dea]

The people that argued the inside of a red, meaty fruit should be tagged gore because vaguely looked like a bloody wound if you squinted at it.

[official-albert-wesker-deactiva]

You mean this post Slagar?

[furlockhound-inactive-moved-dea]

That’s the one.

[letsboldlygomotherfuckers]

tag your gore/pomegranates asswipe 

[bye-bye-little-sebastian-deacti]

Please keep adding to this

[dreadedloreenkid]

That post where that guy thought Spain wasn’t a country

Related: that post where someone claimed white people shouldn’t speak spanish because it was “cultural appropriation”

[notcrazyiswear]

How about the recent “brexit correlation with mad cow disease” map that was literally just the same image in greyscale

[nya-kin]

[micdotcom]

Paul Ryan’s latest Instagram post reveals a major problem with political representation

On Saturday, House Speaker Paul Ryan snapped a selfie with a large — and largely homogenous — pool of Capitol Hill interns and posted it to Instagram. In light of the picture’s racial makeup, his caption struck many users as somewhat tone deaf. Unfortunately, the photo reflects the very white reality of Capitol Hill.

[micdotcom]

Update: House Speaker Paul Ryan released a remarkably white selfie Sunday with Capitol Hill interns. Now, writer and journalist Colleen Mondor just offered the perfect response.

It goes beyond race, gender and ability. The DNC interns are just as diverse in their pursuits, interest and backgrounds. 

[micdotcom]

Update: Rep. Eddie Bernice Johnson, a congresswoman from Texas, just took this to the next level by showing the Democratic Interns working at the Capital. 

Johnson isn’t the only person to point out the striking difference between the two classes of interns.

[fhtagn-and-tentacles]

I HATE EVERYTHING 

by Megan Lara

[vinesnow]

[penis-hilton]

i tried jus one chili and it set my mouf on fawr and i had to drink a 2 liter of moun'n dü¨ª˙ÌÍ¥

[weloveshortvideos]

This dog sucks at fetch

[cachorritx]

“WHO FUCKING THREW THIS.”