Living Is Easy With Eyes Closed.

Capricorn. Amity. HufflePuff. I like to laugh, watch netflix, and cook.... That's about it

[slimetony]

Thought I saw a shooting star but the neighbors above me are flicking cigarette butts out the window

[puciboi-deactivated20201125]

what halsey song is this

[stability]

[nick-avallone]

and yugioh ruins yet another one of my relationships

[mysharona1987]

[weirdnessisgood]

[incorrectcatquotes]

I’m looking for the bad noise but I guess that’s just you.

[kelsiline]

[glumshoe]

in movies they always have characters sharing an intimate moment and saying “tell me something you’ve never told anyone before” and some deeply moving personal story full of emotion and heartache comes out of it and the characters, who have never been in talk therapy in their lives, bond around their secrets

the fuck would I have to say? “for about six months in high school I wanted to be a mime”? like shit son all the important stuff I’ve either shared in therapy or thoroughly repressed. and now I just shared the mime thing so can’t use that.

[wellbutrinboy]

i love laying the FUCK down and sleeping

[westtlee]

Me: “I don’t need sex”

My hormones: “first of all .. you’re horny asf, stop lying”

[icecreamsandwichcomics]

aimless efforts

[iwanttrumpinmyrump-deactivated2]

this is the best comic ive ever seen

[sitcomedies]

[distressedphilosopher-deactivat]

Honestly “thanks I hate it” is one of the funniest phrases in the English language

[gideongaius]

i one time told my italian professor “grazie lo detesto” and she lost her shit, so it’s not just english

[swoopyswish]

[night-dawn-day]

[meatswitch-deactivated20231107]

me trying not to act high when my dad is home

[pizzaback-deactivated20201011]

which one is which

[realfootage]

[coke-hoe-nyt-crab]

me every friday night

[2jp]

is this that guy that uses a syringe to put his semen in chicken eggs and cuts them open later to see if he can find his living son inside

[lowfatwordsalad]

is this who now

[realfootage]

yeah thats him

[boy-and-girl-crazy123456]

oh yeah that guy

[jonsnowboard]

[cardinalisinfernum-deactivated2]

me getting some Irish dick: oh please don’t stop

him: aye ya loike that do ya? Wud ya loike if ah went harder? Wud ya loike that ya little sloot?

me: uh…. y…yeah….

him: whut was that?

me: uh… aye….

him:

[ethniccrying]

I actually want to kill myself

[smutfemme-deactivated20220218]

i wish i could get this tattooed on me

[samijen]

Crediting the artist is important!!!