tbh hatewatching is such an alien concept to me, i can barely be bothered to watch the things i do want to watch why would i bother looking at something i know i won't like

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if i look back, i am lost
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@warblewhirls
tbh hatewatching is such an alien concept to me, i can barely be bothered to watch the things i do want to watch why would i bother looking at something i know i won't like
The Jaguarundi.🔊Sound on
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You absolutely need to turn the sound on. This does not sound how you think it sounds.
oh i can’t fucking believe this. the gods—they smote me. just smited me out of the blue. i’ve been smit. they gave me absolutely no warning before smating me. smoted my guts all over the place. with thunderbolts and everything. absolutely smurted me
She is Ancient, She is the land
Hard truth that I’ve had to confront that I’m honestly not proud of:
Constantly voicing your abandonment issues lead to more people abandoning you.
I do not mean in Serious Conversations about what you need in a relationship or anything like that - I mean when your friend plays a video game with a different friend for a few days and you feel like your world is crumbling, that is not the time to talk about them.
I understand the fear that someone will decide they are done with you. I live that fear every single day, but here’s the rub.
If you tell people “you’ll probably leave me anyway” or similar things every time you feel that fear, people will leave you.
Not because they don’t want to be your friend, your partner, your roommate, whatever. Not because you aren’t deserving of friends (you are), but because it is exhausting to be constantly told by someone you like/love to go away.
Because that is how it feels on the other end. I don’t say this to make it worse, or to make you feel like you’re at fault. Your brain is hurting you, and it’s okay to feel things. But if you find that it’s hard to keep people around you, then you need to hear that outside of things like conversations about boundaries and triggers and such, it would be to your benefit to change your language.
Instead of telling people “you probably don’t like me”, try asking. “You like me? It’s much easier for them to reassure you when you don’t start with a negative, because it puts your brain in a different mindset, one that finds it easier to believe their response.
Sit with your issues. Parent them. And when they’re done screaming, hold their little hands and dry their little faces and try to remember that you are worth being loved. I won’t say it’s easy, because it’s really fucking not. I won’t say you’ll get it the first time, or that you’ll never fuck up. I still do. But you deserve friends and partners and love, it’s just that so do they.
Another thing about this is that you are waving a red flag.
Because here's the thing.
When your friend plays a video game with a different friend for a few days, and you talk about how that hurt you? You've just created a situation where you've placed the onus of your emotions on your friend, who did nothing wrong. Now your friend has to worry about what other perfectly reasonable activities are going to get them accused of hurting you, which is what you were doing whether you meant to or not.
And here's the other thing.
When you tell someone "everyone always leaves me", they wonder why. And it's very possible that they've dealt with someone who complained about this, then proceeded to demonstrate why. There is a particular kind of social parasite that will completely use up their friend group, then move on to new friends while shit-talking how they were treated by the last friend group.
This relates to a thing i like to say, which is that close relationships (including close friendships) require both unconditional love and conditional love.
Unconditional love is, "You will never stop mattering. Even if we stop being in each other's lives, you will always be part of my heart. I will never stop seeing you as a whole person."
Conditional love is "I love something about you. I love you because of the way you are. I love your tastes and your habits and the moral standards you hold yourself to."
Conditional love is, "I respect you enough to trust you'll treat me well. I respect myself enough leave you if you hurt me in certain ways. I am willing to leave you if I need to, so the fact that I'm still here means I want to be here."
Conditional love and unconditional love are different things. And we need some of both to be really truly happy.
【山月赋】 For the Mountains and the Moon
Couple of smoochable lads
yall would live much happier lives if you would stop to think “is this about me?” before starting pointless shit.
you don’t need to accuse a post about safe sex of being aphobic. someone talking about the struggles of being bi doesn’t need you saying they should be a lesbian instead. if someone talks about a nice thing their dad did they don’t need you replying about shitty men are
so many people around here are so rude and bitter that it almost seems like they’re trolling but they’re not! they’re just horribly self centered
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Me, whenever someone learns about my childhood and trauma:
video game levels where you attend a masquerade held by a rich and powerful political figure only to sneak away upstairs and into the servants' quarters for investigation and murder purposes while stuffing your pockets with everything not bolted in place truly are the best kinds of levels
Abduction, by Maria Panfilova
Iron maiden. full support to all knights in dresses
as much as i love myself some pining and yearning and repression, if the end result isn’t a happy ending and if the whole point isn’t love then i’m not interested, thanks
Chinese hanfu & pipa.
shadow the hedgehog is cool. gunblades are cool. vampires are cool. scythes are cool. white hair is cool. we need to stop lying about what is not cool