Same Mistake || Self-Para
Writing Prompt: Having rejoined Joker, how does Harley feel towards once more returning to him? Does she have anything else in mind? Is she against his plans? Does she have her own plans away from the Joker?
She had to put the hyenas out tonight.
Now that Joker was back from his long (378 days-long, to be exact - she had counted - you got good at counting days when they locked you in the looney bin) “vacation”, she had to abide by his rules. She ran the operation, less stellar than he had, perhaps, but still! And what? Not even a damn “good job” or a pat on the head.
Like a dog. She expected dogs received better treatment than she did.
She could be off on her own, being treated like a princess by any guy or gal she chose, but in the past decade, that hadn’t really proven much good… she had become too deeply involved in Joker’s twisted madness that she wouldn’t dare stray. He beat her within an inch of her life on more than one occasion and still she’d pledge her devout adoration of this man who knocked out more a few of her teeth socking her in the jaw and cackling as she flew across the room.
She hated herself sometimes. Would sit there, really think, back to old terms that she had long since buried beneath a facade of pale skin and dyed hair. Try to diagnose herself. It was like some twisted version of Stockholm Syndrome… except Joker never captured her or kept her there against her will (hell, he had tried to get rid of her for god’s sake). He was like a security blanket… assured her that everything was justified. Her madness, her staying, her everything was okay.
The absence of her two pets laying at/on her feet made it hard to sleep. It was an especially cold night in Gotham, and she had more than a few reserves about her babies sleeping outside. But Joker’s rules were Joker’s rules. She heard the boys playing poker in the kitchen down the hall from her bedroom. She slept separately from Joker, though everyone thought otherwise. It was very rare that she would attempt to join him (or even rarer - come to her) and even then it was hardly ever sexual. It made her question her attractiveness, of course, but it never lasted long. Joker was never short of pet names or sweet compliments that she knew that he spewed just to make her happy. He didn’t really mean it.
And still, she stayed. She loved. And, most importantly, she obeyed.
Joker had revealed his entire plan to her that evening, after her failed attempt at trying to hold onto her shred of dignity and refuse to come back to him again. Even though it was only out of fear for her life that she had. This wasn’t the first time that Joker had told the girl that if she hadn’t come home that he would kill her. She was his plaything, a thing that belonged to him. And did she enjoy it? Of course she didn’t. It hurt. A lot. But the alternative? A hell of a lot worse.
The plans weren’t anything she didn’t expect to be coming from Joker: he always had a thing for explosions. Rebuilding Gotham from the bottom up was only something that he had more than hinted at for the eight years she had known him. Why he had disappeared for a damn year for this to happen was beyond her comprehension… for right now. She didn’t really know what Joker wanted from her. He could have just left her alone, but after her little run-in and whirlwind friendship with Barbara Gordon, she had finally begun to let go, let go of Harley Quinn and slip back to Harleen Quinzel, if only for a moment.
Joker obviously couldn’t handle her slipping out of his grasp. That was why he had come back. At least to her. The rational part of her had this figured out the minute the Joker came back that evening. The madness that clouded every thought she had, however, morphed and twisted it to be something completely different. He couldn’t do this without her. And he wouldn’t have to.
It wasn’t as if she didn’t have an original thought away from Joker - she did. She most certainly had her own plans, but they would have to be put on the back burner for now. Her angel needed her. She was going to do anything he needed. Joker came first, something Red had told her was ridiculous and needed to stop. But Harley couldn’t stop. She wanted Joker happy. She wanted him to smile, and she wanted to be the one that put it there.
She heard the collective groans from the boys as one of them laid down a full house. It had been a few hours since she had retired to her room and she hadn’t heard Joker’s voice since he had waved her off so he could head off and work on his flawless design for Gotham.
Gotham. Cold and heartless Gotham, who would have no appreciation for the new vision her Joker had poured his heart and soul into. But she remembered, long ago, that the Joker had told her that there would be times some people just don’t get the joke. She suspected these would be one of those times.
Harley rolled over, seeing if her left side was more comfortable than her right. It wasn’t. But outside her window, she could see the bright red flashing light on top of Gotham city’s radio tower. It was the same view she had been able to see out of her apartment after she had graduated med school. The same view from her office in Arkham. It was… comforting. Like an old friend.
Soon she would find her way into slumber, wrapped under the bask of moonlight filtering through her window, knowing tomorrow was an early day.
Give me reason, but don’t give me choice, ‘cause I’ll just make the same mistake again.
