two kids, no consequences

crissie. 2L. The one and only 👑 wine enthusiast.somewhere on the east coast.

[dankmemeuniversity]

[padme-amidalas-will-to-live]

[goodluckfindingone]

Me, lactose intolerant: oh no

Assassin: oh yes

[timelorddarthswagger]

Just imagined a blade of frozen cheese.

[avpdsnail]

so much is going on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it’s too much!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just want to sleep in the forest for 190 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m tired leave me alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mydogsnokes-deactivated20150723]

not gonna lie i’m pretty uncomfortable like all the time

[itwasntrainingyet]

[licensehaver-deactivated2025061]

calling in thicc today

[breakup]

Talent: overthinking

[deerwife]

i need to put all three of these pictures in a single post. this is significant. this matters. this is why i exist

[esculent-macabre-deactivated201]

[hplyrikz]

““I could not tell you if I loved you the first moment I saw you, or if it was the second or third or fourth. But I remember the first moment I looked at you walking toward me and realized that somehow the rest of the world seemed to vanish when I was with you.””

— Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince (via hplyrikz)

[incredibly-cold]

[iguanamouth]

i havent shaved my legs in a really long time and while i was babysitting my skirt edged up a bit and the seven year old i was watching said “ew you should shave that hairs not supposed to be there” and i said “well if its not supposed to be there then why does it grow there?” and he was really silent for a long time and then finally said “lets watch sonic the hedgehog”

[level27rogue-deactivated2020112]

tumors grow, are they supposed to be there?

its called “evolution”, just because its there doesnt mean its useful or wanted.

[geekandmisandry]

Local Man Compares Leg Hair To Cancer, Genuinely Thought It Was A Smart Argument. More At Six.

[fadedputa-deactivated20151203]

If i had a dollar for every time someone called me ugly id have 0 dollars bitch what u thought lmao

[howtoskinatiger]

[10knotes]

Can we all take a moment to appreciate the beauty of trail cam deer

[serotnin]

serotonin? in this economy?

[frogmp3]

me: huh damn i’m bored

the 2% of my brain that isn’t actively sabotaging me: do your assignments. read a book. take a fucking shower

me:

[attendance]

“Growth is painful. Change is painful.But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.”

— Mandy Hale (via wordsnquotes)

[ihavehugemuscles-deactivated202]

there is no difference between coke, pepsi, doctored pepper, sprites, ginger’s ale, root’s beered, mountain do, all of them. theyre all exactly the same.

[ginger-ale-official]

hohoho! comparing these other drinks to ginger ale is like sticking you hand in a blender! because in both situations… heh you’ll know soon enough

[ihavehugemuscles-deactivated202]

hi “ginger-ale-official”.

thanks for your comment on my post.

except, no thanks.

your heart will stop beating at 9:10 PM EST on 2018/04/30

make the best of your remaining time!

Venus :)

[ginger-ale-official]

I got rid of my heart twenty five years ago to make room! (for ginger ale) do not fear though friend! Your reckoning will soon be upon you!

[feshpince-deactivated20201109]

this single post contains enough terrifying energy to power 500 haunted houses for the next twenty years

[arabwife]

I’ll get over it I just gotta be dramatic first