brace yourself

you’re gonna drag that wreck around the rest of your life

[wastedgoodbye]

[wastedgoodbye]

still like genuinely pathetic the parallels here. this is like when i read designations. can i stop with the being defined by sci-fi media PLEASE its getting embarrassing.

[wastedgoodbye]

AND hes malnourished. this sucks man. cant i at least have a rock to have sex with

[wastedgoodbye]

THIS SUCKS I DONT WANNA BE REFLECTED IN THIS GUY COME ON

[wastedgoodbye]

ok. tomorrow i’ll call back the psychiatrist place LMAO maybe they’ll be able to hook me up with a good therapist too

[wastedgoodbye]

well at least i let myself have wants now. that’s One thing i have. kind of. barely. a tiny bit. god fucking damnit oh this is pathetic

[wastedgoodbye]

LIKE THIS SUCKS I CANT BE CONNECTING LIKE THIS ik it’s fanfiction. but oh my GOD why is this me. WHY IS THIS MEEEEEEE SHUT UPPPPPPP 😭 this sucks. i’m an asshole. oh my god

[wastedgoodbye]

ok but my problems with loneliness being reflected in this fucking shitty middle school science teacher who fucks rocks is actually horrible. i cannot be doing this PLEASE

[wastedgoodbye]

fumbling all bids for connection forever. maybe they should shoot Me into space so i can go be codependent with a sentient rock

[wastedgoodbye]

i can’t spend time with the person i want to spend time with because they’re busy actively fixing their life and that’s good but i should be doing the same but im not doing fucking anything so like what reason will they have to bother with me when their program is done. there isn’t one

[wastedgoodbye]

i just want to be held and i want to feel real and i want to feel like i matter as Me and not as someone else or a piece of property

[wastedgoodbye]

i feel like i’m supposed to be better now like im basically at the end of my iop but im not better im suicidal again im doing nothing ever nobody ever wants to see me because im fucking insane i don’t know why im still here

[wastedgoodbye]

there’s too much shit wrong with me it all makes me just want to give up like i’m never going to be enough when i’m actually myself whoever the fuck that is like i still don’t even know that much

i’m only enough when i’m someone else

[wastedgoodbye]

i feel like i make a lot of bids for connection that go nowhere

[wastedgoodbye]

comparison is the thief of joy and all that but good god everyone is doing interesting shit and like yes i’m happy bc i finally have my uterus out but now i can’t do jack shit for weeks when i already Hadn’t done anything for weeks

i haven’t really done anything for a year

like i don’t think i could handle a job but i also desperately need something to do with my time because im just so. aimless i need Tasks

[wastedgoodbye]

nope still hate your ugly ass boyfriend

[wastedgoodbye]

i’m like half convinced i’m just going to spend my life rotting at my dads house doing nothing forever