this one moment, allow me to indulge
A fanfic based on The lion and his star rail by the lovely author @annadog20
Hope you enjoy this story! It was supposed to be under 1k but it grew arms and slapped me demanding to be writtten more, then it grew legs that the plot run away from me. Suddenly it is 3k in the making. It was great!
Setting: Post-Penacony. Very minimal spoiler to the series
Pairing: Jing Yuan/Leona Kingscholar
Tomorrow is Leona's birthday. The AE Crew wants to throw a party for him but Leona saw through their poorly concealed plans and proposed a compromise.
"I don't want to disturb whatever you've got planned, just, leave me somewhere and get me back tomorrow when you're done decorating. That way I wouldn't know what surprise you have for me."
Alhaadi innocently suggested they should leave Leona with Jing Yuan. Stelle sent the General a text and they promptly left Leona in Luofu.
.
Long story short, Astral Express docked in Xianzhou Luofu and Leona was told to stay with the General so they can prepare a party. They will be back tomorrow afternoon.
Read on AO3 here
Leona had seen the way March had been whispering to Kalim all week—the poorly hidden glances, the sudden silence when he walked in. So when he caught them red-handed fidgeting with a "not suspicious" box full of streamers, he sighed.
"I don't want to disturb whatever you’ve got planned," he said, tone drier than the desert of Sunset Savannah. "Just leave me somewhere and get me back when you’re done decorating. That way I wouldn't know what surprise you have for me."
March blinked. "That… actually makes sense?"
"Practical," Dan Heng agreed without needing much conviction.
Stelle grinned, already thumbing through her phone, Alhaadi perched on her shoulder. "Perfect. I know exactly where to stash you." Caelus peeked on her screen and his face brightened.
That’s how Leona ended up standing on the Luofu's docking platform, hands in pockets, watching the Express disappear into the stars.
.
.
("Wait.." Kalim's voice floated faintly through the open hatch before the doors sealed, unheard by Leona who was already on his way to meet Jing Yuan. "We just left him with the Jing Yuan? General Jing Yuan? Isn't he very busy?"
"It will be fine," Alhaadi replied, waving Leona's beacon in his small hand displaying his text conversation with Luofu's Arbiter General. "Baba is on vacation, I made sure of it days ago! Mutti won't suspect a thing."
Inside the Party Car, the crew collapsed into laughter.
"We planned it!" Cheka beamed cheerfully, hugging Alhaadi. "Alhaadi's baba talked with us!"
Himeko leaned back, smirking over her coffee. "So we're matchmaking them, now? Are you not afraid something will happen to Leona?"
"Relax," Caelus said. "If anything, they'll nap the entire day away. The only casualty will be the General's paperwork."
Dan Heng hummed in quiet amusement. "It's either that, or they start comparing who is lazier. The universe might implode right now and they will choose to sleep. It's a rare downtime.."
"They get along! Good for them!!" March stretched before she continued decorating the room. "Gives us time to set up the party before he catches us sneaking confetti into his tail."
Cheka tugged on Welt's sleeve, prompting the older man to lean down to hear him whisper. "Grampa, know that if the General hurts my unca, I will kick his butt."
Welt rewarded him with a pat on his head.)
.
.
In the first few hours that afternoon, they deadass just sprawled across the living room with Mimi the lion, catching up on sleep. It was one of the best naps Leona had in months—rooming with his children is not conducive for naps honestly, even if he can fall asleep pretty quickly. He woke up when Luofu's artificial sun was nearing sunset, curled up comfortably on Mimi's side, face pressed up close against Jing Yuan's loosely clothed chest. Their hairs were tangled with Mimi's fur, Leona couldn't tell the difference between Mimi's white mane and Jing Yuan's puffed up bedhead except that the General's hair is much longer.
"YAAAWNNN..." Leona sat up with a big stretch, joints popping in satisfaction, he scratched his torso. Hopefully it's not itching because of ticks. "What a crazy good nap," he commented. He looked down, at Jing Yuan still cuddling cozily with the lion, feeling a little envious. He wanted to lie back and snore again, but he's a bit too energized to go back to sleep. The room was at the right temperature and ambience too, Jing Yuan had perfectly optimized the art of sleeping. It was insane.
Leona theorized it needed at least two people (or one person and a huge lion) to share body heat to feel perfectly cozy, and the less heat sources are in the room the more comfortable it is. He woke up even more refreshed compared to when he slept in the fairies' garden back at Night Raven. It was truly a miraculous nap.
Mourning a slightly longer sleep, Leona decided now is a good time for a quick bath to sort out his hair situation and cook up some dinner. He'll make it extra delicious as a thanks to Jing Yuan for indulging the kids' whims and for hosting him on such a short notice. Leona had a suspicion that Alhaadi had already planned everything so Leona could get along with Jing Yuan, but Leona couldn't even get angry at his kid, he was honestly impressed Alhaadi got Jing Yuan on board with his plan. Maybe the two are similar enough in personality that Jing Yuan was highly compatible to be his gene donor? Leona wouldn't know.
Dinner was a quiet affair—not awkward quiet, but the kind that happens when everyone's too busy chewing to care much. Between two full-grown adults with rather demanding routine and a massive lion lounging under the table like it paid rent, the entire spread vanished faster than March 7th could say "selfie time!"
Leona leaned back, licking a bit of gravy from his thumb. Cooking wasn't exactly his favorite thing to do—the privilege went to napping—but someone had to feed the damn General before he went back to surviving purely on tea and sleep.
Jing Yuan gave one of those lazy smiles that could probably melted half of Luofu's population. "You've outdone yourself, Leona."
"Yeah, yeah. Eat before I change my mind and dump the rest on your fancy robes."
The General looked down at his newly changed robe, neckline slightly damp from his hair that he recently washed. The General chuckled, that deep rumbling sound that felt way too smooth for someone who commanded fleets. Mimi gave a loud yawn, tail flicking against Leona's leg. He kicked it back lightly. "You're not getting dessert either."
It was supposed to be a quiet night. The Astral Express crew dumped him here under the excuse of "keeping him occupied" while they prepped some stupid birthday surprise that's not really a surprise now. Leona could've stayed in his room and napped through the whole thing, but they're so loud and he needs some semblance of peaceful sleep before attending whatever celebration they had planned, and anyway when Alhaadi got that scheming look in his eyes, you just knew it was better to play along.
So here he was. Stuck with the General. Alone.
Alhaadi didn't reply himself when he called out for the system.
But it's not bad..
Somehow they ended up playing Starchess afterward. Leona didn't even know the rules at first, but he caught on quick enough. Strategy was strategy—didn’t matter if it was chess, war, or politics. He still lost, repeatedly, because Jing Yuan was the kind of bastard who smiled like he wasn't even trying while you were getting destroyed.
"Another match?" Jing Yuan asked, resetting the pieces with practiced grace.
"Yeah, sure. Why stop losing now?"
The General's grin widened, and Leona swore it was deliberate—that teasing sort of look that made you want to knock the smirk off his face. "That's the spirit."
They played for hours, talking about nothing and everything. The clouds outside. The weather in Belobog last time he was there. How the tea here somehow tasted like heaven and regret. Jing Yuan teased him about his tail twitching whenever he got frustrated—which, of course, only made it twitch harder.
"Don’t you have better things to do?" Leona grumbled.
"Not tonight." Jing Yuan's tone was lazy, but his eyes glimmered with mischief. "Besides, you look particularly striking when you’re trying so hard not to throw the board at me."
Leona snorted. "Are you flirting or fishing for bruises?"
"Can it be both?"
The damn man had a way of saying things like that—easy, casual, but enough to get under your fur.
Eventually the topic drifted to the kids. Jing Yuan mentioned Yanqing, his tone softening in a way Leona wasn’t used to hearing. Leona wasn’t the sentimental type, but there was something grounding about listening to the great General talk about raising a child like it was the best mess he had ever walked into.
Then, of course, the conversation turned to Leona’s situation.
"Alhaadi is quite the clever one," Jing Yuan said, moving a piece. "Predicting this whole scenario just to set us up."
That confirmed my suspicion, Leona mused. "Yeah, well, he got that from you," he muttered.
"And your stubbornness." Jing Yuan added, like a second thought, "Quite the dangerous combination."
Leona rolled his eyes, staring at the board like it held answers to the universe. "The twins, though… those two idiots treat me like some kinda parent. Which is insane, right? They look my age. Hell, they might be my age, for hell I know."
Jing Yuan chuckled softly. "Parenthood isn't defined by age, Leona. Sometimes, it’s simply being the one they look to."
"Tch." Leona leaned back, rubbing the back of his neck. "Still weird. I’m barely twenty-one. That doesn't even count as a full-grown adult in some places. And don’t get me started on you long-lived folks—that Lilia guy back home looks like he’s twelve and he's, what, a few centuries deep? Just like ya."
"You sound like you’re trying to convince yourself," Jing Yuan teased.
"Maybe I am."
The General moved another piece, humming. "You know, when I found Yanqing, I didn't have a plan either. I just saw this scrawny kid swinging a sword too big for him and decided, 'Sure, why not raise a son today.'"
Leona barked a laugh. "That sounds about right for you. Reckless but confident about it."
"It was impulsive," Jing Yuan admitted, smiling at the memory. "But it's one of the few impulsive decisions I never regretted. He’s… one of the best things that ever happened to me."
Leona didn't say anything for a while, just watched the man's expression. Peaceful. Proud.
And maybe, there's a slight chance that maybe, he could feel something similar.
He'd never planned on being anyone's anything. But then Alhaadi happened. The twins happened. And somewhere along the way, the title "Mutti" stuck—ridiculous as it was. Maybe he wasn't half bad at it.
Still, sitting here without any of them around felt strangely empty. He wasn't used to quiet after months of taking care of the kids. It was… depressing, almost.
He didn't realize he'd sighed until Jing Yuan set his teacup down with a soft clink.
"Just like many parents left alone for the evening," Jing Yuan said with that damn catty smile, "why don't we get tipsy?"
Leona eyed him suspiciously. "You drink?"
"I command armies, Leona. I drink."
"Fair point."
The General rose gracefully, heading to the side cabinet. He pulled out a bottle of something golden and two small cups. The smell hit before the liquid did—strong, sweet, sharp enough to burn the nose hairs off lesser men.
Jing Yuan poured with all the elegance of a ceremony, then handed Leona his share. "To unexpected company."
Leona snorted, clinking his cup half-heartedly. "To whatever this is."
The first sip went down rough, but warm. The second felt smoother. By the third, the edge in his shoulders started to fade.
They sat there, half-lit by the glow of the Luofu skyline, trading small talk that drifted between teasing and something heavier.
Jing Yuan asked about the Express. Leona complained about the mess those brats made in the kitchen. They laughed about Alhaadi's pranks, and Jing Yuan admitted the kid once tried to "predict" a surprise inspection for him—and got it right.
By the time the bottle was half empty, Leona was sprawled against the back of his chair, head tilted toward the ceiling. "Do you ever get tired of being responsible for everyone?"
"Constantly," Jing Yuan said without hesitation. "But it’s a good kind of tiring."
Leona grunted in agreement. "Yeah. Guess it is."
The lion under the table stretched, brushing against his leg. Outside, the stars shimmered faintly against the Luofu's artificial sky.
Maybe it wasn't a bad way to spend the night—food in his belly, drink in his hand, and someone pleasant to talk with. Leona smirked to himself. "You know, if Alhaadi planned this whole thing, I might actually forgive him."
Jing Yuan smiled back, lazy as ever. "Then his plan worked."
Leona rolled his eyes, downed another sip, and muttered, "Smart little brat."
And for once, the quiet didn't feel lonely at all.
.
.
Jing Yuan had this ridiculous idea—a "taste test," he called it. Said he wanted to find out which of his prized bottles matched Leona's refined "beastman palate."
Refined, his ass.
Still, Leona wasn't about to turn down free alcohol. The General had a damn library of the stuff—amber bottles, crystalline decanters, even one sealed with an actual talisman. They took some to the porch and Leona watched the General pour each one carefully, swirling them like liquid gold under the lantern light.
Leona sat cross-legged at the table, tail swishing lazily. "You've got too much free time, old man."
"Research," Jing Yuan replied with that infuriating calmness. "If I ever need to host you again, I'd prefer to serve something worthy of your taste."
"Tch. You make it sound like you're courting me."
Jing Yuan just smiled—that slow, knowing curl of his lips that didn't deny a damn thing.
The first drink on the porch was very floral, sweet at the tip of the tongue but fading quick. The second hit sharper, like biting sunlight. The third was aged and smoky, and Leona swore the fourth could strip paint off the walls. He grimaced but finished the shot anyway.
"Still not as good as what I had back home," Leona said, licking a droplet from his thumb. "Royal banquet stuff from Sunset Savannah. Aged with desert fruit. Sweet, but it kicks."
Jing Yuan leaned back, intrigued. "Sounds like something I'd like to try someday."
"Yeah? Good luck getting it off the nobles. They'd rather die than share."
They laughed quietly, the kind of laughter that comes easy after a few drinks.
Somehow, a couple hours later, they ended up on the balcony—two men, side by side, the Luofu's lights stretching out like a city of stars below them. A soft breeze carried the faint scent of tree and metal. Despite the huge amount of alcohol he consumed, Leona wasn't drunk. Not really. He'd been through worse back home and walked straight afterward. But he was loose, warm, and careless enough to stop biting back every thought.
He kept glancing sideways at Jing Yuan. The man's untied hair caught the moonlight—pale and soft, cascading down his shoulders like silk. It reminded Leona, annoyingly, of another white-haired bastard who took his first kiss. That single memory makes him flustered even now.
But Jing Yuan wasn't THEM. The air couldn't be any more different.
Jing Yuan didn't smother; he didn't take. He just existed, calm and patient, somehow a lightning that asked permission before striking. And when his golden eyes met Leona's, there was nothing but quiet fondness there—something so gentle that it almost pissed him off.
Leona wondered if the General could afford that softness. If a man carrying a whole fleet on his shoulders could still sit here, unguarded, under the moon, smiling at him like this meant nothing and everything all at once. That carefree attitude came with a heavy price.
Leona couldn't. Neither of them should afford this.
But right now, drunk on something sweet and heavy, Leona decided he didn't care.
He reached out, fingers catching Jing Yuan's lapel, tugging until the man turned fully toward him. The General's composure faltered just slightly, golden eyes widening before narrowing again—curious, expectant.
Leona grinned. That old, boyish grin that people used to call charming before they realized it came with fangs. His ears twitched as he leaned closer, voice low and rough.
"Jing Yuan," he said, "do you want to kiss me?"
The General's breath hitched—barely audible, but enough.
"Would you let me kiss you?" Jing Yuan asked back, tone hushed but steady.
Leona's grin widened, sharp and wicked. "Are you afraid I will deny you a chance? Don't you think we can have this one?"
For once, Jing Yuan didn't answer with words. He simply leaned in, closing the distance.
"Then please," he murmured against Leona's mouth, "allow me to indulge."
Their first kiss was nothing spectacular. Just a lip on his own. It was more like a peck than anything. But that one kiss gave Jing Yuan time to put his hand on Leona's waist, and another on his chin. The next kiss is decidedly less innocent. All Leona could think of is the way Jing Yuan's golden eyes reflected the light of Luofu's artificial moon, how those eyes looked at him ever so slightly delighted. How gorgeous. Oh how Leona would love to see more of it before the choice is taken away from him.
Leona doesn't know what this feeling is. He is reluctant to name it "love" in romantic connotation, he can't deny his attraction, his curiosity to experience more, his desire to be cherished by someone else. At the same time he doesn't want to know what this relationship is. He didn't get to think about his options when Jing Yuan already chosen for him.
All these small kisses they shared suddenly became something that stole his breath away. Tongues moving in quick and desperate motion, and Leona didn't have the heart to close his eyes or look away from Jing Yuan's adoring gaze. He doesn't want to miss every second of that adoration.
He doesn't want to miss the moment it will eventually filled with clarity and stop doing...whatever they're doing right now. He doesn't want Jing Yuan to stop. Stay. Keep loving me. Never look at me with disgust in your eyes. I will not survive after I had a taste of your attention all for me.
He knew the way Jing Yuan looked at him was nothing remotely close to lust. He was not worthy of such an adoring gaze. It almost made him feel filthy.
Their lips parted, a mess of spit, and smelled like alcohol. Leona will never remember what any part of it tastes like, but he will never forget the smile Jing Yuan gave him right at that moment. Eyes hazy, the corner of his eyes crinkled, the faint blush on his cheeks, the wind that gently brushed against his white hair, the way he was so obviously in love with whatever he's seeing in front of him. Leona could not see himself, he wondered what Jing Yuan saw in him. He wondered if it's alright to admit that he didn't feel the same way, that he could only hope one day he can choose to love Jing Yuan. To be someone worthy to reciprocate that love.
Love is a choice, and Leona doesn't have it in him to choose. He cannot bring himself to ruin what Jing Yuan dedicated his lifetime to—because he knew if he did, Jing Yuan would choose him, he would love him to the detriment of anything else. Leona is not ready to be somebody's reason to live, he is not ready to be the love of their life.
But tonight Leona would let himself be loved. He would let himself be filled with the affection he has yet to deserve. To take whatever Jing Yuan offers. How cruel of him. How selfish.
Leona climbed on to sit on Jing Yuan's lap, his tail coiled around Jing Yuan's arm. He looked like he's about to cry. Jing Yuan saw the way his eyes were filled with unspoken burdens, and he could only guess what Leona was thinking despite it all.
Leona's phone buzzed with notifications, signifying that midnight has passed and he's now officially 21. He didn't pick it up. He rested his head in the crevices of Jing Yuan's shoulder. Jing Yuan brushed his hair and kissed his ear.
"Happy birthday, Leona Kingscholar." Jing Yuan whispered, "I apologize as I do not have any grand present for you right now. But I myself should be good enough, don't you think?"
"Why would I refuse such a thoughtful present?"
Their lips met again in a satisfying reunion that makes his head empty and Leona didn't register anything until he was laid on a soft mattress, warm body pressed against him. Jing Yuan didn't let him look at or think about anything else when he had his eyes on him. Gold eyes stared into his green ones, Leona felt like a douchebag for letting this happen. For letting his selfish desire win.
Leona will take anything Jing Yuan gave. He will keep it deep deep in his ribcage until the day he can give it back. He could only hope Jing Yuan would forgive him if the answer turned out to be never.
What a joke, he thought, he couldn't even laugh at his misfortune.
Jing Yuan is a fool who keeps placing pieces of his heart in the hands of people who cannot stay with him.
He knew that Leona, too, would not choose him.
.
.
Thankyou for reading! ❣️
