[waving-4-hello-blog]

The darkness overtakes me.

It holds me like a swaddled baby.

I'm wrapped in a blanket

Wanting to cry,

But nothing can come out.

The only time I feel

When the dark blanket is on me,

Is when I'm sleeping.

In a way,

I feel comforted by the blanket.

It holds me

Because nobody else will.

It allows me to rest when I'm sick,

And not just a cold.

I'm sick in the head,

And that's a hard thing to fix.

I'm scared of the dark,

But have to find comfort

In the blanket of darkness.

[nikt-w4zny]

[waving-4-hello-blog]

I want someone to love me.

I want someone to love me the way

I have learned to love myself.

And some days,

I may hate myself,

But I want you to be there

To to tell me otherwise.

I will be there to do the same for you.

I want to be kissed.

The kind of kiss that gives you butterflies

And makes you want to scream with joy.

I want to slow dance in the kitchen,

And compare my small hands

To your larger ones.

I feel desperate for those intimacies,

But have nothing.

I am cuddled by my anxiety and loneliness.

Held by my far-too-high standards,

And kissed by my desperation.

[waving-4-hello-blog]

I'm hurt.

Do you not see

These scars on my soul?

Do you not hear

My broken heart strings

Billowing in the wind?

My skin is bruised and thin

And my cracked lips always bleed.

I'm hurt.

From the narcissistic demons

Who I always try to befriend.

From always being the backup,

Be it friend or lover.

You would think I would be used to it by now,

But I can't seem to learn

An angel from a demon,

And I welcome all with open arms.

[balletpictorial]

[outdoorspastelnature]

Go Out There And FEEL It!

[darkphotographs]

Dark

[c-isnenegro]

[wsrod-chmur]

[cokmugaripbiri]

[darkphotographs]

[waving-4-hello-blog]

Sometimes I want to cry for no reason at all.

Something deep down in my soul

Tells me I'm not good enough.

It's the darkest of storms,

And drains you of everything.

You can try to fight it,

But some days it just wins.

It beats you to a pulp,

And you just take it

In hopes of some day

Beating the storm forever.

[waving-4-hello-blog]

[b-l-o-o-d-d-r-u-n-k]

[waving-4-hello-blog]

I've never been to the doctor

Or talked about my problems.

But this seems like a really nice way

To say that I'm probably not different.

Hidden in a poem is my self diagnosis

Of depression and anxiety.

My loneliness.

I lay in bed as long as I can,

Staring at my lilac wall.

Just thinking.

Thinking about how I'm late for class

But the professor wouldn't miss

One small person.

Thinking about how

If I were to die, who would my stuff go to?

Who would read my journals

Or my old philosophy notebook

That has letters to people I'm angry with

Written in the back.

Little hidden notes

In all of my books.

Would anyone want my stuff?

I lay in bed and think about

The silly little things

And I wonder

Am I different?

[seriallier]

From the ashes

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[waving-4-hello-blog]

Your pillowcase is pink.

I know you washed it with something red,

Which is an unwritten law of laundry,

But I don't mind.

Just like I don't mind

When we're sitting on the couch together

Watching a movie,

And I can hear you hold your breath.

Or hear the silence of you not breathing.

And when you realize you held your breath,

You inhale roughly

And exhale with ease.

Just like I don't mind

When you were flirting with me,

You put your hands in your front pockets,

And leaned slightly forward.

Subconsciously.

Just like I don't mind

That you sniffle slightly

When you're reading aloud

And come to the end of a sentence.

Just like I don't mind

When you meet someone new

And you laugh at their jokes

And then look slightly over to your right.

Just like I don't mind

How you crack your knuckles

When you're angry.

Just like I don't mind

Your honesty

Of when I wear that little black dress

And you think it's too showy.

Just like I don't mind

When you talk to the barista,

You put your hands in your front pockets

And lean forward.

Just like I don't mind

When you deny you were flirting with her.

Just like I don't mind

That your pink pillowcase

Smells like infidelity.

Just like I don't mind

That you cried when I left.

Just like I don't mind

That I found someone new,

With a white pillowcase.