[wearealemes]

#49 So, this happened. Nuno and I were playing with the train set he got for his birthday. He absolutely loves it. And I love it too. I was setting the tracks and explaining to him what I was doing, step by step, as I always do. "E agora vamos fazer uma curva..." Moni hears the word "curva" (curve, in Portuguese), giggles and asks me: Do you know what that means? I immediately reply "... yes, yes, I know...", all smug... And add in a lower voice: "'kurwa' is 'puta' (whore) in Polish". And that's the moment Nuno puts on the happiest face in the world, raises a little curvy piece of wood up in the air, and shouts triumphantly: "Sim! GRAAAAANDE PUTA!!" (big whore).Moni and I stare at each other, trying not to burst out laughing. It's hard. Moni covers her face so that Nuno doesn't notice she's in tears already. I blush... and blush. And do my best to act cool and ignore the situation. He places the curvy piece of train track on the floor, all happy, and doesn't repeat the word. Let's see for how long... Oh, the joys of parenting.  :)

[wearealemes]

#48 Hmm… the Germans seem to be working on a large scale health insurance scam. While in every other country people are wishing each other a “happy new year” (in their own language, of course) or “boas entradas” (in good old Portuguese), the guys here just put on a big smile and keep wishing each other to slip. Not falling for that.

[wearealemes]

#47 New favourite word: "Noondlaa" 😂😂😂😂

[wearealemes]

#46 Happy (belated) birthday, avó Alice! :)

[wearealemes]

#45 Don’t get fooled by this little dude’s cuteness. He is dangerous. Before he started Kita (the German version of daycare or creche) we used to brag about never being ill, we couldn’t remember ever having a fever, or the last time we were forced to hug the toilet (we are obviously excluding the mornings after karaoke sessions with way too much tequila). Well, those good healthy days are gone. Long gone. Not a week goes by without one of us waking up with a blocked nose, a headache, a sore throat, or some other sort of symptom. We are constantly dodging weird stuff: coxsackievirus (it’s a real name, by the way), obtrusive bronchitis, rotavirus, 3-day fever, lice (!!!), etc. We know what you’re thinking. “What are you guys saying? You are grown ups. You should be immune to little babies’ diseases. C’mon!” Well, ahahaha. No.   The thing is, they get exposed to all those viruses and bacteria and simply walk off laughing and babbling with a snotty nose, a couple days of fever and the occasional cough. But then... those cute little germ incubators bring home the bugs and pass them on while giving you that heart-melting kiss when you come back from work. And the next morning you and your toilet are becoming best friends. While you’re holding a bucket. With shaky hands. No joke.

[wearealemes]

#44 “Mama, we’re on TV” http://www.rtp.pt/play/p2116/hora-dos-portugueses

[wearealemes]

Liebe Moni, lieber Pedro, ich bin total begeistert von euren Illustrationen und musste bei vielen laut lachen. Gibt es das Wörterbuch nur online oder auch als richtiges Buch? Es wäre das perfekte Weihnachtsgeschenk für meinen Freund (Brasilianer ;)) Um abraço Corinna

Hey, bisher leider nur digital... <3

[wearealemes]

vou aprender alemão

Ja natürlich!

[wearealemes]

Como vocês desenvolvem os desenhos (tirinhas)? algum programa especifico?

Hey, Moni draws either by hand on paper or directly into photoshop with a wacom tablet :)

[wearealemes]

#43

Greetings from Portugal :) If not at the beach, we're busy cannonballing into the pool. Yeehaw!

[wearealemes]

#42

Our Alemês is an IT guy in the making. We can already see him wearing plaid shirts tucked into his dad jeans, rolling his eyes every time someone forgets their password, and leaving the office everyday at 17h59 sharp. After using an up until then unknown gesture (at least to us) that simply shut down all the windows running in the background on an iPad (!!!), and video-calling Pedro on Facebook by himself, the little munchkin just figured out how to turn on the TV. It might seem trivial to you but let us explain. A couple of years ago Moni found a really nice TV set on the street and decided to take it home. Since the generous previous owners forgot to attach the original remote control, we had to buy a universal remote. Thing is: most of the buttons don’t quite correspond to the TV functions, and we could never figure out how to switch on the TV with the remote. Until now. Turns out, if you double-click the teletext button the thing switches itself on. Something we would never have figured out by ourselves but took Nuno a mere two seconds to crack. He then went on to flip through the channels and adjust the volume to his liking. We know kids these days are super tech savvy and all, but this is a bit much.

[wearealemes]

#41 Who said Germans have no sense of humour?

If there’s something Germans are good at (besides making cars, beer, wurst, and winning World Cups) it’s naming things.

If you don’t know the name of something in German, chances are you’ll get it right just by describing what the thing is or does. Like the word for “gloves” - shoes for the hands. Or “turtle” (Schildkröte), which means toad with a shield.

Why complicate when you can just say it like it is?

Germans are practical. Gotta “hand” them that.

[wearealemes]

#40 It’s that time of the year again. Time to write down resolutions we’ll forget about in the next couple weeks, and time to see Berlin becoming Beirut for a night. Forget Sydney, NY or Dubai. They might have some of the best and most spectacular firework shows in the world, but we’re pretty sure they’re not nearly as loud as Berlin’s “Silvester”. Here anyone can buy firecrackers, mortars, rockets, and all sorts of things that could blow your fingers off, from the nearest supermarket, and then go to the streets to blast them on the sidewalks, in tunnels, inside train stations, and even inside trains (damn f***ing kids!). As loud as possible, to the despair of dogs, small babies, old ladies, and unadvised tourists, who made the honest mistake of getting off the u-bahn at Kotti. 

But well, if you can’t win them, join them. So let’s promise ourselves that we’ll start going to the gym at least twice a week, and start 2016 with a bang (pun intended). Happy new year!

[wearealemes]

#39

The English are wise, dear friends. It’s called “pacifier” for a reason.

[wearealemes]

#38

We had another post scheduled for today, but in light of the events in Paris we decided to post something a bit more serious than our usual material. Our hearts go out to the victims and their families of last night’s terrible attacks. We think it’s important to keep in mind now that those who did this were bad men, in no way representative for the majority of people believing in Islam, but following fundamentalist ideas, trying to spread terror and fear. As europeans we freely live in a diverse mix of cultures and religions. The more we start fearing or even hating those who are “not like us”, the more our free society is going to crumble. And that's exactly what these bad men want. Fear blinds us and leads us to mistake religion for fundamentalism. Remember: we are not that different after all.

[wearealemes]

#37

We kinda feared this might happen. All those comments about how awesome our little Alemês’ hair would be, and how cool a red-haired afro baby would look like, completely jinxed our secret plan to turn Nuno - that’s his name, by the way - into a baby Benetton supermodel and get rich before he turns 12. Tell you what: if those big curls don’t start growing in the next couple years, we shall move to plan B: turn him into a football player. That dream house by the beach in the Maldives won’t build itself, you know?!

[wearealemes]

#36 Portuguese people are always late. So why would a half-tuga baby be on time. Ridiculous, right? Right. Not only was he 12 days late, he also decided to extend his stay at "The Moni Inn" (pun intended) for an extra 21 hours. The management tried to kick him out – but to no avail. So we had to call for back up. Ten minutes later, “Ziiiiip”. Here we are. One cute and healthy baby.