I feel like I’m finally begining.
It was different.
It was everything I’d ever wanted but never managed to find, weather it be because of lack of time, pressure from others to stay solitary, or just fear to begin this journey Alone. Luckily I didn’t have to begin alone, and When I found Verity, I realized even if id come to them without company, I still wouldn’t have been alone.
It was Feb 28th another Sunday at Amtgard. My attention caught by one of the girls I was watching after. She talked about the kind of music I did, and the spiritual ideas I had, and she was fourteen! I’m thinking, whoever raised this kid is doing a pretty good job! I mean the Beatles? Led Zeppelin? And furthermore an open mind about what kind of spiritual path she wanted to walk? I was impressed to say the least.
That’s when she started talking about a Pagan church…one in garland and I could have sworn I’d heard of it before from My boyfriend Steve. He’d visited back in the day and The next thing I know we’re on our way up there because I wanted to check it out and he was willing to give it another shot.
Now I’d never had good experiences with churches personally. Maybe one or two in the middle of an exploration, but in the end it was always the same. Stuck up narrow minded people who told me there was no other way, I was wrong and eventually I was going to burn.
So naturally the word “church” made me cringe a little, But was we pulled into the parking lot of this place, I didn’t see a steeple, or a cross, I saw a little house with lush green grass, a pavilion with a fire pit, and a Tree blooming with white that just about opened its branches lovingly to welcome us. And then, just as my boyfriend Put the car in park, I was hit square in the chest by what can only be described as a ‘puff of energy’ like a cloud.
He looked at me concerned. “What is it?”
“well, i…I don’t know. Stay tuned,”
“Stay next to me,” he retorted.
I chuckled. It wasn’t anything intimidating, or dreadful, I just got a good sense that these people had strength.
We made our way up the steps and through the seemingly empty kitchen and down the hall, each step pushing me farther into a house with air so charged I began to feel my body panic. My mind was clear, intrigued and excited Id never seen anything like this before! But my palms sweated, My heart beat quickly and I began to clam up a bit. Never the less I saw the mother of the girl id met and we sat just as they were welcoming one of the six gods of their belief to their ritual. Death. They were welcoming their goddess death. At the time I felt it was appropriate to close my eyes, and I felt so dizzy I would have sworn I was suddenly high.
This made me panic more, and I felt the urge to leave the room, I was so overwhelmed.
But then, just in front of me, as my eyes remained closed I felt the presence of a being. Tall, graceful, and very powerful. In my minds eye I began to see a woman in shades of purples black and grays. She meant me no harm, nor gave me any reason to fear. I felt my personal goddess Hecate before me but she resonated with who they’d welcomed.
I no longer felt the urge to leave, but the strength to stay and join with these people in being with the divine. We sang together, broke bread together and shared stories together. There was no judgment, not pressure to sit still, stay quiet, and bask in the shame that is ones “sinful life.” There was only a family of Veritans and those who chose to stand with them, no matter their god or goddess. They didn’t care about your color, or your gender, or your sexual preferences. They didn’t care if you dressed nice, if you had money. They cared that you were comfortable, they wanted to know that you knew whenever you were with them, you were safe. Whenever you were with them you were home, even if only for a short time.
That night I felt Hecate and Hades places their hands on my shoulders and in my minds ear, clear as a bell they said “Welcome Home”
I’ve been going ever since. Never have I felt like “organized religion” was for me. They listen to me and to my deepest darkest ideas. My background, where I’ve been Where I want to go, and they held out their hands and said “Here, let us help you with that.”
I’m Home, and I hope one day you find this feeling too, maybe it’s with us. Maybe you’re not there yet. But if you’re reading this I wish you love, and healing and strength and peace. And let no one judge you for your path. It’s yours, and you’re right for it.
blakekathryn
kaledo-art
prguitarman
annaxmalina
turnnoffyourmind
baratheonpilled
